Epicus Doomus
April 21, 2012 at 12:11 am
…Speaking of vomiting with rage, I have seen Sunday’s strip. You are ALL going to be absolutely f*cking appalled. That is all.
While I understand Epicus’ reaction to today’s strip, as far as TB’s comic book tributes go? This one is not as…appalling as usual. At least this time, he’s not “tipping the Funky felt tip” to a comic most of us have ever heard of.
Based on their verbal exchange I’m guessing Cody is standing in for Reggie here, and Owen is Archie—although he’s got more in common with Jughead Jones. Summer is portrayed as an Archie comics “everygirl”: Betty, Veronica, all the chicks in Riverdale (except, of course, Big Ethel) had that look…big eyes, solid teeth, black lips, and nubile bods. If this is how Batiuk always drew Summer, it’d be much more plausible that two buddies would fight over her.
Archie, by the way (the comic book, not the newspaper comic) has been drawing numerous comparisons to FW these last few years: Riverdale High’s Miss Grundy lost her battle to cancer, and more recently Cheryl Blossom was stricken with the big C. Archie comics also grabbed lots of attention in 2010 when gay character Kevin Keller was introduced. This article helpfully brings us up to date on all the gay stuff in both comics.
Son of Stuck Funky 
“If this is how Batiuk always drew Summer, it’d be much more plausible that two buddies would fight over her.”…you said it, TFH. Instead he insists on drawing her as a taller, female Pete Rose who never changes clothes for some reason. Now it’s been a while since I was a high school sophomore and all but trust me, the “female Pete Rose” look was never really big among fifteen year old boys. As a former “Archie” reader (yeah, got a problem with that?) I took great offense at TB slapping that Summer mop-top on what appears to be Veronica’s body and face. Veronica was hot, rich and…uh…rather well-proportioned. Summer is none of those things and she’s way sweatier, too. Someone over at Batom Inc. (looking at you, Mrs. B) needs to gently take TB aside and tell him to maybe ease up a bit on the Summer worship because it’s becoming downright unhealthy at this point.
What’s the expletive deleted supposed to be? “Asshole”? “Pube-chinned douchebag”? “Retarded-hat-wearing c*ck-smoker”? “Meaningless, unloved fringe character with no real purpose”? Credit where it’s due: BatReality nailed Owen’s look of total and utter shame upon being called out (by Cody no less) on his absurd, creepy notebook doodles.
Re: that article you linked to: “The creator, writer and illustrator of the popular comic strip “Funky Winkerbean” will make a storyline that tackles gay rights, the Ohio newspaper the Chronicle-Telegram reported”. Uh, sorry, FW was never “popular”.
Summer looks like a deflating blow-up sex doll. On some weird level, that seems appropriate.
Also, maybe my pareidolia is running wild, but I can sort of see a face in Summer’s sweatshirt. It’s an unhappy, big-nosed face. Not sure what that nose protrusion is supposed to be, unless Summer is experiencing a navel erection. At this point, I wouldn’t put anything past this strip.
“Help, I have 2 guys in love with me!”
“That’s my girl, guess it’s genetic in the Moore family…”
Even when you Photoshop Summer’s head on a better body, there’s not a lot of substance there. And she’s still wearing nothing more than a Westview sweatshirt and a bad pair of jeans.
Batiuk: ““I was reading a story over breakfast about a protest by a parent group (emphasis mine) at a school in Hilliard, Ohio, that seemed to be about tolerance toward gays…”
He’s probably talking about this protest, not by “a parent group” but by the crackpot Westboro Baptist Church.
…and you know if you invite the WBC anywhere, they will bring their “GOD HATES FAGS” signs with them. TB’s carelessness with the facts (hey, it was a year ago, after all), does a disservice to the folks in Hilliard.
Oh sweet jeebus… this guy’s doomed from the start. Tommy boy, do us Queers a favor and read the blog “Good As You” for an hour or so. It’s snappy and informative and you’ll get the most in depth anti-gay political minutia covered.
“A Parent Group.” Seriously??? It’s the fuckin God Hates Fags brigade.
Yes, I can totally see how it would seem as if that crackpot “church” was displaying an intolerance towards gays, what with the huge “God Hates Fags” signs and all. Oh those zany “parent groups”. There’s only one Westviewian I can think of with the powers to stand up to those intolerant bullies. Hint: perv magnet, red sweatshirt, fine young woman.
Without context, this would be a pretty good Sunday strip.
Slumber could possibly be a lot of things — she COULD be a good girls basketball player, in spite of being relatively small and scrawny. She COULD be a great leader on her team. But she is NOT the kind of girl most guys go for, especially Fantasy Maggots like Owen and Cody. They might have a totally unrealistic thing for the head cheerleader. They might have crushes on a somewhat-pretty nerdy girl. But the butchy, mannish jock girls? Never, never, never, never, never. What in Tombat’s pointy little head has decided that, in addition to everything else he wants to to believe Slumber is, she’s also an object of desire? Even Batyuck’s schmucky fans have to be questioning this. The boyish features, the heavy eyebrows, the sweatshirts — no, ain’t happening.
Hate to spoil, but next week, a hunky, jocky looking guy hits on her and asks her out in the hallway. I don’t believe that either. This guy DEFINITELY would be sniffing around the cheerleading squad – not gender- ambiguous tomboys.
It’s all starting to remind me of the King’s New Clothes, or whatever that old fable was called.
There is only one thing. I think that jock, Ryan is one of the twosome that is going to the prom.
However as far as what is going on here. Why would Cory have any interest in Summer. I mean he would have even less of a reason than Owen.
Miss Grundy lost a battle with cancer? They killed her off?
@Beanie Wanker – you’re thinking of the Emperor’s New Clothes and in the story the Emperor who dug his new red sweatshit was really naked and…ewwwwwhell…that is so gross…..curse you, Wanker.
Ye gods, how I hate “tip of the funky felt-tip” Sundays…this one especially!
@Sarge – har… Yep, that’s what I was reaching for. We have BatDrip parading Slum-bore around like a sex goddess, but the rest of the world sees a dood in smelly clothes.
Ah, so the guy who asks Bummer out will be one of the gay stage props? Completely makes sense. She smiles at him when she sees him. No froggin’ way she would smile at a guy who wanted to do the whole boy-girl thing with her.
Also, it’s typical of BatButt and his “writing” to slip a character into some other storyline right before featuring them. He did that with Fishstick Annie at Dimweed’s birthday right before tossing her into that moronic basketball caper.
O.B. Dan: Miss Grundy lost a battle with cancer? They killed her off?
Oh yeah, leaving her lover, Principal Weatherbee, to mourn. It was pretty heavy. Death Comes to Riverdale
I think this is the real reason Batiuk is addressing intolerance towards gays. How dare Archie “do” cancer? TB fuckin’ owns cancer.
Weatherbee and Grundy got married. Life With Archie is in a time-jump – and it’s getting strange. Archie-1 just met Archie-2, along with the Reggie who’s dating Veronica, whose plane was lost, while in the other timeline … what?
TFH sez: “TB fuckin’ owns cancer.”
True. I heard he wanders through the oncology wards at hospitals all over Ahia slapping Cease and Desist Orders on all the cancer patients who didn’t obtain written permission from the legal department at Batom, Inc Worldwide Corporate Headquarters.
I do have no question why does it say Sept for the month? Why not use April?
In this alternate universe created with the funky felt-tip, Les would be the equivalent of wealthy industrialist Hiram Lodge. What sort of widgets were produced to make Les the wealthiest man in “Westdale”? Whereas I’m too lazy to research into what made the Lodge family
thousandsmillionsbillionsmillions, I’m pretty sure it has something to do with profiteering off the ‘Westdale’ citizens – sending them into the perpetual despair we see in modern ‘Westdale’The Ridger: I’ve seen some of those “alternate Archieverse” comics online somewhere and yeah, wow. Who knew that comics writers were such miserable people?
Geez, even in “Archie-Vision” Summer looks unappealing
Okay, the difference between FW and the new Archie series (which is in fact set in a “possible future”) is that the Archie is surprisingly well-written and pretty clever, while FW… isn’t.
And Miss Grundy died with some dignity.
…now if only this strip (FW) could die with some dignity.
Well writing in general tends to be a solo venture and I’m sure for most of the day it’s just them in their studio or wherever they write. TB did say that the cast were like imaginary friends.
Zombie Lisa is still creepier than Zombie Grundy. At least in the Archie reprints of late, she doesn’t know she’s teaching from beyond the grave.
ryokomayuka: And one of those characters is like an imaginary GIRLfriend.
“It struck me that whenever I sit in classes at Midview High, which I still do, my overall impression is that the younger generation’s attitudes toward gays is more open and accepting than their predecessors,” Batiuk said.
Remember those people that kept going back to high school for some reason even after they graduated? Yah, they were called losers.
I found this site because I was disturbed about death in FW. Now I learn that there’s death in Archie? What’s with the insistence on bludgeoning us with reality in places that we go for silliness? Put the fun back in the funny papers! No coffins in comics!