A single phone call reveals what a most snarkers and my long-dead grandmother suspected; Summer will be going to Kent State. With most folks a lot more wary of the value of a college education I'm not sure Les should be making his smirk/smug satisfaction face.
In a development that should surprise no one, Summer II got invited to Kent State as well, causing Cayla to break out into her best hatchet-face.
This strip was so exciting, it needed to be posted twice.
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Yeah, sorry about the double post; I ill-advisedly was playing around in the WordPress dashboard while my guest-blogger was working in there too. It's fixed (I think).
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Yoinks! Only a dozen or so posters predicted this exact situation yesterday.
Now I understand why there's so much smirking in this strip. TB can't draw smiles for shit.
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Inviting graduating senior prospective athletes on an official visit to campus in June? Will anyone, much less the team!! even be there?
That had to be the CW on prank call.
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I would go back to the weeks after the state title win to see what ran instead of this alleged "storyline" – Because immediately after winning the championship while gutting out a serious case of the flu is something that would've put her on the school's radar after missing her junior year with an injury and is a logical follow-up in April – but I kind of like having my will to live.
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Whatever race of alien conquerors created the android Lestitute in panel two have to go back to the drawing board. That is not smugging. That's a "Happy-Hey-Nice" look. Les doesn't have that look, he only has smugging. Dumb aliens. Pay attention!
See, if he was smugging in panel two, the message would be this: see, I knew all along it was a recruiter, because I always know everything, and I'm smarter than everyone ever and I always am right. I was just messing with you, daughter-tron. And no one would think anything was amiss. As it is, it looks like Les is happy for his daughter's potential future. Note that word, "happy." Everyone now knows something is up. The aliens' plans are already toast. Lestitute might as well just point at Summer, open his mouth as wide as possible and give that alien squeal noise. Then he can disintegrate, the real Les can stumble from a closet, smug the entire area, and the aliens are back to square one. And Les can smug a bit more.
Come on, pay attention. Put a little more work into it, alien conquerors, or I'm joining the resistance. And I have better hair than Les.
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Aside from Les, is there anything about FW that's more repellent than the way he draws Summer when she's happy and/or excited about something? The way Bats over-does everything Summer-related really curdles my cheese. I mean pre-death Lisa was annoying in the same over-achieving do-gooder way that Summer is, but she didn't have that overwrought, brain-damaged exuberance that really gives Summer a boost in the “most despised non-Les character” sweepstakes. Look at her there in panel two, pawing at her own face in delerium over being invited (in June, no less) for a visit to a school that's a fifteen minute drive from home as if she just got a full ride at the University of Hawaii or something. People show less excitement over winning Powerball jackpots.
Anyone that didn't see this coming is expecting way, way too much out of FW in general. It's the absolute most boring direction it could possibly go. And now we have four more years of Les and Cayla going to those dreadful basketball games to watch Summer get all sweaty and gritty again, sigh.
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At best, this is a call for a preferred walk-on spot, which actually might be an opportunity for Batiuk to show a character earning something.
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Les: "My crow's feet share your joy, Summer."
Cayla: "My Muppet mouth shares your joy, Keisha."
Keisha: "And we'll be sharing each other's joy, won't we, Summer?"
Summer: "Woo and Hoo! You bet I -won't-!"
Keisha: "Heh, y-….WHAT?!?"
Summer: "Obviously, I am the One True Athlete. I am the chosen one! The Kneecap of Destiny! The call was just meant for ME, you internet-loving, vendo-using, cell-texting EVIL TEEN, you! Stop trying to share my glory! This is Summer's Triumph, get it? MINE, ALL MINE!"
Cayla: "Oh, dear."
Les: "Gee, it makes perfect sense to -me-, Cayla."
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Good for Summer! And good for the Basketball Jones kid, too!
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"See, Summer- I knew all along Kent State would offer you a scholarship. That's why I chased away those coaches from Ohio State and Tennessee and UCLA and Harvard who came by the house immediately after you single-handedly won the state Division I girl's tournament. There's no way anyone in this family is going to a better school than I did. Go Golden Flashes!"
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"And to stay overnight with the team!"
Must… not… make… obvious… lesbian… sex… joke…!
Yuh, and Slumber and Kareesha are going as a package deal. Them, and how many others? Or just them? Does any of this make sense? Is this the path for a future star player, or a locker room attendant?
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A fun spin would be if Kieasha's call was from the Akron Zips.
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This would be a somewhat interesting turn of events, and as such, could not possibly be penned by TB.
And that's too bad, because TB actually laid the groundwork for it when he established that Cayla pitched (and hit) for the Akron softball team in those Crankshaft strips.
And while Craig James didn't kill 5 hookers at SMU, Cayla did kill at least one Western Michigan pitcher at Akron.
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Unfortunately, Batiuk’s attempts to give female lips to Summer in panel one just makes it look she’s a guy in drag.
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KSU = Kiesha Summer University
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Everyone keeps talking about how late in the day it is for Summer and Keisha to be doing school visits, but remember, this is Les the Specialest Snowflake of the Universe we’re talking about. No doubt Kent State’s brightest alumnus used his massive amount of influence to ensure his specialest snowflake legacy (and yeah, his stepdaughter too, whatever) could gain entry to those hallowed halls without the bother of going through the same admissions process as the mere mortals.
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May Funky Watch is posted!!
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Thank you, Tom Batiuk, for living down to expectations.
I wonder if we'll get any indication of what will happen to any of the other named seniors. They'll probably all end up going to Kent State, thus making KSU the high school after high school.
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Looks like Batiuk will make an appearance at this weekend's Wizard World con in Philadelphia, for any interested snarkers in the area. I can only wonder if he seems as smug in person!
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Summer wouldn't get a full ride to play at a top division I school with her damaged/rebuilt knee. She's damaged goods.
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Tom Batwig likes to talk the "serious issues, one quarter inch from reality" talk, but when he sits down to do actual writing, he produces un-researched, inaccurate drivel.
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Billytheskink: I agree that it's not true that CRAIG JAMES KILLED 5 HOOKERS while at SMU. I mean even Mike Leach in his book wrote that it's not true that CRAIG JAMES KILLED 5 HOOKERS while at SMU.
Sorry, that doesn't get old to me.
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That flashback to the Akron softball player. Nah, that wasn't Goatee Boy's Cayla. That was some Black chick.
And the "pitchers usually can't hit" rule has never applied to softball. Accuracy much, Batboy?
I hope BatDork has the good sense not to try to show Slum Bore excelling in college basketball the way she did in high school. Maybe a small, scrawny chick COULD do well in high school ball, but in college, everyone else is Brandy Bowleg, the Marfan Syndrome sufferer we met for one panel in the playoffs, or much MUCH bigger and stronger. So it will be interesting to see just how far ButtYuck wants to drive down Bullshit Boulevard when depicting Slum Whore's illustrious, record setting college career.
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Summer II will be surprised to find out she's actually staying overnight with the men's team.
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Well, the "Golden Flashettes" went 6-21 last season, and they have a new coach, so they are really scraping the bottom of the barrel to fill out their scholarships if they are looking at Summer and Keisha. If they get off to a rough start next season, will the crowd start chanting for Summer to get into the game?
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Chris Sims thinks that Nate demanding all the students listen to a speech about the student rulebook because of anti-gay actions they were actually opposed to is "actually pretty awesome"?
Well, I guess Chris shares Tom's dim view of teens.
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