Last week Les magically teleported from Africa back to Westview to check out Funky's new car. And at first glance, it looks like today Funky has materialized in Africa. Actually,this is "Dan", whose carefully rendered mug in panel 2 suggests that, like James, he's based on another of Batiuk's fellow travelers on his real-life Kili konquest.
Everyone have a safe and happy Fourth of July!
I suppose this MIGHT have been kind of humorous if the baboon stole Les' passport instead (or if it tore off his face entirely). But that's not the way it happened when Batom Inc. went there and we all know how important accuracy and continuity is to TB (chortle). At least the real-life inspiration for "Dan" will be happy today: who among us wouldn't want to be immortalized in a comic strip that's read by tens of people every day? Rumor has it that a couple of these readers really enjoy it, too. But until I see one of them I'm skeptical at best, like with Bigfoot.
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Good God, I am tempted to go on record as saying today's gag isn't bad. At best, I'll call it semi-amusing. Batiuk must be having an off-day, though the artwork is its usual atrociousness. "Dan" actually is well-rendered; while Summer looks more boyish than usual, Les looks like an afterthought, and apparently that's a baboon up in the tree. Maybe it's not the passport at all, but "Dan" is staring up in the tree wondering how it's possible that someone can draw a baboon so that it doesn't remotely look like a baboon until it's stated as fact by a third-party observer.
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Dan looks exactly the way I would feel if I found out I was stuck with Les for my entire vacation.
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I swear… every time I start thinking that insinuating that Summer is a dude has finally played out, TB gives us a strip like this one where she looks like a skaterat named Connor.
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Summer: "Um….is Dan exposing himself to the baboon?!?"
James: "Well, I….*….DAN! We told you to stop doing that!"
Dan: "He must be taught shame. I -will- teach him shame!"
Les: "Should I be worried that my eyes have vanished and that one hand has shriveled up into nothing while the other is bloating up like a grapefruit?"
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OK. I have to ask: Panel 1: What is that thing just above James' hand and to the left of Dan? Is is a melting blob of vanilla ice cream wearing a light blue shawl? Is it a giant, oxygen-deprived middle finger pointed at Les? Whatever it is, don't tell me it's supposed to be Mt. Kilimanjaro.
I am not kidding about this. Especially since, given the black outlining, the tip of that thing seems closer to Les and his Komedy Krew of than the trees right in front of them.
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Does anyone over the age of six tie his jacket around his waist like "Dan" here?
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I don't get it.
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Well, kudos to Crazy Harry I have to admit. I was pretty psyched that I'd be able to read Tarzan and the Lame Fart-Knockering Punster thanks to the Kindle. But the possibility of reading Tarzan and the Swiped Passport has got me pretty excited! I intend to contact medical professionals.
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Dan looks woebegone and downtrodden enough to become a regular character. Was this the special Pessimistic Schlumps tour?
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Tomorrow, Dan ties a sweater around his neck and reveals he was the original inspiration for the Gay Prom Arc.
Next week: Summer's penis and Les's receding hairline make their debut as official FW characters. Summer's penis saves the day by confronting the baboon, retrieving the passport, and suggesting the monkey pick on someone his own species. Les's receding hairline just smirks and says, "Dan's passport, I presume!" Goatee Boy is never seen without the huge floppy hat the rest of FW's run.
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By the way, is Dan wearing 1980's women's leg warmers?? Will Becky's mom be flying to the nation of "Africa" to organize a protest against him too?
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I can't tell what I hate/like most about this strip: the fact that Dan looks like Funky from behind, Les and his uneven glasses/pupils, cross-dressing Summer, Mt. Kilimanjaro(???) in the distance…
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I suppose we should be thankful that Batiuk isn't inspired by his annual summer vacations to Lake Michigan and makes those a theme of the strip.
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So, does this mean we'll get the annual Fourth of July strip around Aug. 10 or so. It's called a "calendar".
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July? It's February!
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It's called writing?
Indeed. Let's take a look at this.
Panel One:
"That gentleman is Dan…he's one of the climbers in your group."
How about "That's Dan, he's a member of your group." Or "He'll be climbing with us." Would Dan really need to be identified as a "climber"? As opposed to what, a "burrower," a "floater," or a "vendo"?
Panel Two:
"He certainly seems fascinated by that baboon up in the tree."
Well, nothing much wrong with that, except "up in the tree" isn't really necessary. I suppose it's just clarification, though, since the drawing of the baboon is so bad.
Now we come to the real "writing."
"The baboon got into his tent during lunch and is now up in the tree with Dan's passport."
I would contend that "during lunch" and especially "up in the tree" are totally unneeded. Summer just said "up in the tree." Better would be "He ought to be–the baboon got into his tent, and got his passport."
That took me about five minutes (with a hangover). I never again want to hear Batiuk talk about how writing is so difficult. Though in his case, I suppose good writing is well-nigh impossible.
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Carefully observe the facial features of the various "African" guides and drivers. Wouldn't surprise me if by the end of this arc they undergo a Cayla-like transformation to lightly tinted White guys. I think I know why this happens. Goatee Boy, being the most tragically whitest White guy in the history of this or any other planet, is SO muhfuggin white that he sucks the blackness from any black people who are forced to be near him for any amount of time.
And we have much reason to be concerned about the employees of Wildebeest Travel, since BatCracka has already started them off about half-white, owing to a fear of frightening his most loyal fans in places like Ahia and Ioway, who would be terrified at the sight of actual native Africans.
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June's Funkywatch is posted.
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Seems rather odd that an expedition organization like this would be so cavalier about having a wild animal in the middle of its camp. Their canines, after all, are longer than a lion's. Still, it'd be nice to see one that bites off Les's arms so he can no longer do his stupid florid gesticulating when he's pompously reciting in his "Language Arts" class.
(Yes, that's redundant. Everything he does is pompous.)
Considering recent news, it's a shame it's not a habitat-inappropriate chimpanzee. Those guys fight dirty. Having a chimp tear Les's testicles off would be the biggest triumph in comic strips this century, and it would also ward off the "Les and Cayla have a late life baby" story that's inevitably coming. Sure would beat another damn story about prostate cancer.
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You know, Baboons are well known for flinging their filth at things they find annoying…..hmmm……
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A chimp trying to tear Goatee Boy's testcles off would collapse from exhaustion after a prolonged, futile search for them.
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That's a baboon? This ain't Mark Trail, that's for sure..
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