It was just a couple weeks ago that Les rented a trailer to schlep Summer and Keisha off to KSU. Today the girls return to Moore Manor to find their respective parents setting up chairs (a lot of chairs) and schlepping around potted plants. Naturally the first thing out of Summer's mouth is a wisecrack, which naturally is met with withering glares from the bride and groom soon-to-be. In a refreshing change of pace, Summer has retired her Westview hoodie in favor of…a Kent State hoodie.
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Sad to see you go, but I can definitely relate (obviously). May Stuck Funky the third keep the torch burning bright!Comics Snark
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Blog: Son of Stuck Funky Topics:Comics, Snark, Humor
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Seriously? Les gets annoyed because he thinks somebody else's wisecrack is inappropriate? Or is it only okay when you make a wisecrack that makes you sound like an absolute d-bag?
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"Hi! We just happened to drop by randomly and, whoa! Look at all these chairs! What a surprise! Since you apparently never told us the wedding date, I guess it's pretty lucky we were cutting class and decided to drive 35 miles for no reason other than to have you look askance at us!"
In other words, What the Hell.
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Yep, a new hoodie for Summer and a snazzy new Eastern Bloc car (in a rather unique kind of off-goldish color) for Keisha. The fellas at Kent must be swooning, I'll tell you what.
Oh, Summer was supposed to be making a little joke there? Ha ha ha, I see that college hasn't changed her delightful sense of humor at all, that scamp. I wasn't sure this one would be about Summer: logic would dictate that it'd be about whoever that dude is there in the header picture. But that Batom is always throwing those kinds of curveballs, you know?
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The Doucheiness doesn't fall far from the bag.
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those dam chairs,changed direction again,don't they need returned to school cafeteria monday morning??
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Oh, good — the Best Man and the Maid of Honor have unexpectedly arrived.
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I'm not sure what is more inconsistent: the ever-changing chairs or Keisha's hairline. She looks like Larry Fine in the bottom left panel.
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Is today the day of the wedding, or are Les and Cayla really arranging the flowers and chairs and leaving them out overnight? Better hope it doesn't rain, or it isn't windy, or vandals don't come by… oh goddamn it, it's just plain idiotic. Anyway, I'd say that Keisha and Summer's clothing precludes this from being the day of the wedding, but looking back, there's a better than even chance that that Kent hoodie is Summer's attire for her father's wedding.
And from Cayla and Les's faces, you'd think Summer dropped a turd in the punchbowl, rather than told a ever-so-slightly amusing joke. Hell, it's a lot more amusing and less offensive than the douche's jokes over the last week (and waaay better than Cayla's "joke"), and those only elicited a sigh and an eyeroll. Just more evidence that Cayla worships at the Church of Les. And Les! A guy who tells as many inappropriate jokes as he does has no business getting pissy about Summer's mild jibe. Summer should either moon them, or roll her eyes, blowing a raspberry while pantomiming masturbation. What's Les going to do to her anyway? She can kick his ass if he gets uppity, after all.
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George, you're concerned about Keisha's hairline, while her mother can't decide on a SKIN COLOR?
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Les is pissed because Summer's wisecrack was too benign and concealed her heritage of wisecrackin' douchebaggery….
Doesn't this wedding set up look more like a funeral set up?…
If the chairs are cafeteria chairs, then they are probably greasy and reek of fishsticks, which will be served at the reception. Corn will also be served.
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Sgt. S is right- that BBQ cooker creepily resembles a casket and there's a white awning to protect all the flower arrangements. It's a funeral for Cayla's hopes and dreams..
Despite (or because of) the raging incoherence of this story arc, for the first time in many moons I'm actually looking forward to what happens next in this strip.
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What would you do if I make jokes at this time?
Would you stand up and walk out on me.
Lend me your ears and I'll say something callous,
And I' won’t care what you think.
Oh I get by with no help from my friends,
Mmm,I get off with videos of my Lisa,
Mmm, I'm gonna try to alienate all my friends.
Do you need anybody?
I have dead Lisa to love.
Could it be anybody?
It will always be Lisa I love.
What do I do when my love is on tape
(Doesn’t worry me to live alone)
How do I feel by the end of the day
(I’m not sad because I have my rosy palm)
No, I get by with a no help from my kids
Mmm, get high with Batiku in his mind
Mmm, gonna to try blow off all my friends
Do you need anybody?
I have dead Lisa stuffed
Could it be anybody?
It will only be me that I love.
Would you believe in a love with the dead?
Yes I'm certain that it happens all the time.
What do you see when you turn out the light?
It’s Lisa & I know she’s mine.
Oh, I get by with help from my palms,
Mmm I get off making fun of my friends,
Oh, I'm gonna try piss off all my friends
Do you need anybody?
There’s Batshit living through me.
Could he be more loathsome?
He just needs clinical help.
Oh, I get cold when I slept with dead Lisa,
Mmm, gonna try to make Cayla my Lisa
Yes I get high by writing about cancer
with no help from my friends
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"No, seriously, what the Hell are you doing? You set up a bunch of folding chairs and an industrial barbeque in the front yard, throw in a couple of baskets of flowers from the grocery store, and call it a wedding? I'm not even going to bother changing out of my hoodie for this half-assed ceremony!"
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Our happy couple, everyone!
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What, did Kareesha bring home a new, smart-alecky boyfriend in her 2013 Batmobile? Naw, don't be silly! It's Saint Slum Whore in her formal hoodie. Really, I've never seen that spelling for K*nt State, but whatever.
And Kameesha looks about 5'4" to Slumber's 5'6" now. Shrinking? These are full scholarship college basketball players? Oh, that's right. They play for the doormat of the 5-ZZZ division K*nt State Kooties. The Snapple lady could get a full ride there. What are the odds Batty forgets the basketball angle and never shows them playing again?
The bitter, angry, hateful looks on the faces of Crayola and Goatee Boy are hard to understand and completely out of place. Are they pissed because they have been busting ass for AT LEAST an hour, and the K*nt girls are just now showing up? Are they pissed because they just had yet another sniping session or power struggle between themselves? Or is it because Summer dared mock the holy and sacred front yard Monday BBQ Wedding Ritual, as described in the Book of Lisa (Tape 53, 25:14)?
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The meals on wheels truck has a sign that says "Fire on Wheels". This, coupled with the fact that the guy working it looked (almost) like a real person, is another clue that TB is secretly in love in someone in the nonfunkyverse. Good for him!
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BTW, yesterday's Crankshaft featured and ominous message saying "The end maybe closer than it appears." Since this is sorta-kinda (i.e. when it's convenient) in the same universe of despair, hopefully Cranky will be driving past the nuptials when his massive coronary sends his speeding car right through all those carefully arranged chairs and their hapless occupants. No simple farmer's market for ol' Ed. He's going out in style!
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Les: "I'm very disappointed in you, Summer."
Summer: "Aw, c'mon, Pop! You fire off quips all the time!"
Les: "MY QUIPS ARE ACTUALLY FUNNY!"
Summer: "…*…."
Les: "Now, if you're done shaming me, we need your help with the chairs."
Summer: "I was going to ask you about that. Since when do we even -know- this many people?!?"
Les: "As a best-selling author, hot new Hollywood talent, and friend of the president of the local chamber of commerce, I'm quite a celebrity. I expect a marvelous turnout. Why, there's a rumor that the author of "Crankshaft" will turn up tomorrow!"
Summer: "Crankshaft? What's that?"
Les: "A newspaper comic strip."
Summer: "Dad, nobody reads newspapers anymore."
Les: "Hmmph! Doonesbury was RIGHT! It's all just EVIL TECHNOLOGY with you internet loving, cellphone using, cheating KIDS these days!"
*Les storms off, wibbling and wobbling with rage*
Keisha: "…um, hello to you too, future stepfather!"
Summer: "Don't worry about it. He'll cheer up when he sees our surprise! Hey, Susan! Come on out of the car!"
*Susan emerges, her hair cut to resemble a certain Westview Saint, wearing the pinkest of blazers and shirts*
***********************
Oh, if only.
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The wedding is in the front yard. I predict a young driver will be driving by, be distracted by a text, lose control, drive into Les's front yard, and kill at least a dozen wedding guests, if not Cayla too.
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And what are they setting the chairs up to see? There's about eight feet of room there, and nowhere indicating where Les and Cayla will take their vows. It'll also be awkward as there will be a car and that damnable BBQ right behind whatever they do intend to do.
And what the hell is BBQ guy doing, anyway? He's basically been standing there looking at the thing for the last four days. Since whatever vehicle that trailer was hooked up to has left, is he staying overnight to babysit the thing?
And what about parking? Are they going to piss off their neighbors even more by having enough cars to carry enough people to fill those chairs all park out in the street?
Batiuk, you didn't think any of this through, did you?
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Also, since you can't barbeque an entire pig in ten minutes, while Les and Replacement Lisa are taking their vows, there's going to be a pig roasting right behind them, in full view of every single person in the audience. It's going to be making noise. There's going to be smoke. There's going to be a guy standing there monitoring it. Everyone's going to smell the slow-cooking pig flesh. Such a real life event would be glorious in its terribleness.
Again, you didn't really think any of this through, did you, Batiuk?
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I don't know if we're "allowed" to post to applaud other posts, but John said: Summer: "Don't worry about it. He'll cheer up when he sees our surprise! Hey, Susan! Come on out of the car!"
It's impossible to point to any one post as the funniest I've ever seen here, but that one is way up there. Goddam, John. I did NOT see that coming. Love it.
Also loved Charles's description of a smoky pig roasting during the vows. Thank you, gentlemen. I stand in line all night with a sleeping bag and a plastic "pee bottle."
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In the header panel, it looks like Summer (?) is sporting a Flavor Saver under her lower lip. Good for "her"!
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Beanie, you know the girls aren't bringing home BOYfriends. I firmly believe they were the unseen couple at the prom who wasn't ready to come out of the closet just yet.
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We weren't giving any evidence that the Gay Prom Castle Hand had an S.O., just that whoever they were, they weren't the same person as The Gay Couple AKA the Turtle Boys
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I thought it was briefly renamed Kent (I think it was because too many people were still associating "Kent State" with the 1970 shootings), but I can't seem to find any confirmation of this.
My guess: the wedding will be on Saturday, and the meal will be on Sunday; some undisclosed amount of time will have passed between the two events.
Of course, that brings up another question: just where is the reception taking place? I don't see any tables for it to be held right there.
"Where do we sit down to eat?"
"What do you mean, where do you sit? It's a barbecue!"
By "young driver," you mean "Cory," don't you? Which, of course, means that Funky will feel responsible and end up helping to support Summer and Keisha – at least one of whom will no longer be able to play basketball because they were injured in the accident as well. (Or maybe Tom is saving that for the day before the WNBA draft.)
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