by | October 2, 2018 · 10:30 pm

Atomik Flushes

Link To Today’s Strip

Oh…the HILARITY!!! Has ANY daily comic strip featured radiation as much as FW has? And here I thought those wavy lines emanating from the strip were just plain old stink lines. Chester has apparently unwittingly killed AK’s entire fan base, which as I mentioned yesterday could be a pretty funny premise if only someone else was writing it. As boring as he is this TomBan guy is one seriously sick puppy, as many have previously mentioned “everyone gets cancer” is basically his dream arc and here we are, actually living it!

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21 responses to “Atomik Flushes”

  1. spacemanspiff85
    October 2, 2018 at 11:35 pm

    So . . . if this information is readily available online, how was Chester able to buy these things online?
    And I think Batiuk’s dream storyline would more accurately be described as “everyone gets cancer, plus comics”.

  2. countoftowergrove
    October 2, 2018 at 11:57 pm

    Kancer! Komix! I bet Lisa would’ve liked that.

  3. countoftowergrove
    October 3, 2018 at 12:31 am

    Marie Sklodowska Curie was on no Russian hit list. Excessive exposure to x-rays killed her. Toddy boy forgot that.

  4. billytheskink
    October 3, 2018 at 12:42 am

    Can Polonium-210 kill this story arc, and if so, how would one go about obtaining some? Asking for a friend… and everyone else who reads the comics page.

  5. ian'sdrunkenbeard
    October 3, 2018 at 1:27 am

    This is the first graphic I ever did for a SOSF contest in April, 2017. Snarksters were asked what Cayla was putting in the hot cocoa and a coffee mug was the prize for the best graphic, but alas, I didn’t win. I did predict the appearance of Polonium 210 in FW, but I can’t drink coffee out of that. Oh well, that’s the way the Polonium decays.

    https://imgur.com/6voSIrP

    • countoftowergrove
      October 3, 2018 at 10:09 am

      But it was an honor to be a finalist.

    • hitorque
      October 3, 2018 at 12:59 pm

      Brilliant…

    • ian'sdrunkenbeard
      October 3, 2018 at 1:31 pm

      I’ve read that TB writes this strip a year in advance, which I find hard to believe, because they look like something farted out at the last minute just to beat a deadline, but…

      Polonium must have been in the news a year and a half ago when one of Putin’s enemies got his Russian retirement package. I guess TB and I read about it and we both thought, “Polonium poisoning! Comedy gold!”

      Or maybe I’m just a regular Nostradumass.

  6. comicbookharriet
    October 3, 2018 at 1:39 am

    Waaaait, so Chester bought these rings years ago and never looked into what they actually WERE, and how they worked?

  7. The Nelson Puppet
    October 3, 2018 at 2:47 am

    Love Derpwood on the masthead: “SAYYYY! WHY THE LONG FACE?”

  8. Paul Jones
    October 3, 2018 at 3:50 am

    So that’s why he was babbling about the stuff on his blog. He wants that Pulitzer so bad, he can taste it.

  9. ComicTrek
    October 3, 2018 at 4:10 am

    WOW. I was going to make a joke about the “atomic” rings being somehow radioactive – this is Cancer World after all – but I didn’t think he was really going to go there!

  10. Gerard Plourde
    October 3, 2018 at 6:20 am

    And, showing his lack of research, he is unaware of two key facts:

    First, Polonium has a short half-life. It ceases to be dangerous relatively quickly and decays into a new, stable metal: lead. Its physical half life is 140 days. This means that half its radioactivity dies away in this time. Rings from the 1940’s would be lead by now.

    Second, Polonium-210 cannot penetrate the skin, and the particles usually lose all their energy after traveling through a few centimeters of air. It is not particularly dangerous to carry around, because its high-energy radiation can be blocked by a relatively thin barrier, such as a piece of paper. This makes it safe to transport. In order to be dangerous, the polonium has to actually enter the person’s body, either by inhalation, ingestion, or entry through a cut or an abrasion. Litvinenko is alleged to have swallowed a fatal dose of Po-210 by drinking tea.

    Finally, natural polonium is very rare. As little as about 100 micrograms (0.0001 grams) of polonium occurs in one ton of uranium ore. Polonium-210 is present in small amounts in the human body, due to low levels in the normal environment and the food chain, especially in seafood. Tobacco smokers have more polonium-210 because smoking causes it to accumulates in the lungs. These environmental levels are normally harmless to human health, except in smokers, who have higher levels. When used in commercial devices, polonium could not be separated for use as a poison.

    So, five minutes of research should have revealed that the storyline was not viable.

  11. Buckeye Feculence
    October 3, 2018 at 9:07 am

    These rings were used as a premium for cereal. Many people would have sent in for them. If the radiation levels were really a problem, there would be records of lots of people who had health issues and, most likely, lawsuits. And the rings would probably have been rounded up and destroyed as a public health hazard long ago. So if they were dangerous, it shouldn’t come as a surprise 70 years later.

  12. hitorque
    October 3, 2018 at 10:45 am

    Wait a goddamn minute… Did Chester the Molester actually have these rings reproduced? Or did he literally spend countless weeks sifting through the FleaBay and the underground cash-only “collectibles market” to stockopile as many surviving 70-year-old rings as he could, then have them professionally restored to a like-new condition?

    Either way, how in fuck’s name is ripping off a promotional item FOR A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT PRODUCT supposed to help raise his corporate profile?? As an aside, I want to take this opportunity to announce that the first 25 people who subscribe to my “I Hate Batiuk” Newsletter gets a limited edition Hot Wheels Car, a Toronto Maple Leafs keychain and a deck of nekkid lady playing cards!!

    • timbuys
      October 3, 2018 at 11:07 am

      Let’s get real boring about this. At the factory, as it were, cereal companies are real good at shipping box shaped things. Comic book companies are real good at shipping flat shaped things. The point being, from a distribution perspective, they are fundamentally not set up to ship the damn things.

  13. hitorque
    October 3, 2018 at 4:06 pm

    Yeah, like these two mooks ever heard the name “Litvinenko”, or ever watched any non-comics/non-Westview news in their life…