Tag Archives: Jff

Today’s Preview Was Not Available for Preview

Surprise, today’s strip wasn’t available for preview. My guess is it’ll either be Jeff in the back of a taxi telling the driver he needs to be/just peed (possible “so that’s why the cab is yellow” gag), or Pete sitting on the beach with Mindy moaning about how he wishes he was with her dad instead.

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Whizzer of Oz

Today’s strip also wasn’t available for preview. Based on Batiuk’s track record with Crankshaft, I’m assuming we’re in for a solid week of airplane urination “humor”.

 

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Can Decoder Rings Melt?

Today’s strip wasn’t available for preview. My guess is it’ll be a single panel of Jeff holding out his decoder ring for a kneeling Pete to kiss, while Mindy swoons in the background.

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Wow, That’s a Lot of Flames

Today’s strip was also not available for preview. I’m expecting it to be a single panel of every character in the strip burning in the golf club flames, while Les stands safe to the side mocking them for not remembering to stop, drop and roll. And then Monday the strip will start all over again in Act II without any kind of explanation.

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Encyclopedia Clown

Whodunnit? Who could have colored Durwood’s Rip Tide cover in today’s strip? Lessee, these three are the only people in the Eaton Building (a whole building that Chester bought to employ two people, as we now know), and, given its location in Cleveland, probably the only people in a 2-3 mile radius. Hmmmmm, this is a puzzler…

One thing we do know is that Mindy didn’t have a summer job or friends that one summer as she pored over her father’s musty comic book collection. And we KNOW for a fact that Jeff Murdock was an obsessive comic book collector.

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Just Say No

Link to today’s strip.

Well, Jff, I guess your tongue-tied nature might be explained by the fact that this is a huge surprise to you, unaccustomed as you are to public speaking…except that all of this was your idea in the first place.  As Mason points out, the whole reason everyone is here because of you.  Given the fact that this strip goes out of its way to praise its characters for the slightest reason, did you really think you’d sit in the back and be ignored?  Sure, sure, that’s what we wished would happen, but that never counts.

I have to hand it to Tom Batiuk for his optimism–every time he brings in characters from Crankshaft, I imagine a mythical Funky Winkerbean reader saying, “Wait, there’s a whole other comic strip full of characters like theseWhere can I find this magical realm!”  And, since Mr. Batiuk never names “Crankshaft” in these cross-overs, said mythical reader is left saddened by the fact that he will never find this other strip.  Why, it’s a two-for-one!

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Manos: The Hands Of Grate

Today’s strip finally gets to the point. Whatever.

All I see is a kid in a Davy Crockett coon-skin cap…
FWSmif

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Bored of the Rings

Today’s strip is about that dadgum decoder ring. Your mileage won’t vary, it WILL be low.

Jeff, quit teasing your wife and son with this appallingly uninteresting Starbuck Jones nostalgia trip and just tell your family what all of us readers already know the message on your phone says. You told two very interested parties that The Valentine may have gotten the miracle it needed to keep its doors open, and follow that up by leering creepily gazing at 60 year old toy that you got for free from a chocolate milk mix company.

Max, you gotta do better than this, man. If your dad knew the gibberish on his phone was the Starbuck Jones Junior Spaceman’s code then he’s a big enough nerd to know how to decipher it. He’s been waiting decades to show this stupid ring off and you are the one who had to go and give him the satisfaction.

Pam, you’re an enabler. Can’t really blame you for that, since every other woman in this universe apparently is as well.

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Hai-Code

Today’s strip contains
A couple of near-haiku
Shall we take a look?

“This text may be the
Answer you are looking for
It’s just gibberish”

“That is because it’s
Written in the Starbuck Jones
Junior Spaceman’s code”
_________________________

Jeff has just put on
That stupid decoder ring
Why does he have it?

Came from his pocket?
Does he carry it around
Annoying others?

He just got a text?
But it was a Tweet he sent
To Director Guy

I guess that Durwood
Has uncle Jeff’s phone number
As if he’s used it

Nice car on the curb
Puts Batiukmobile® to shame
Who would park it here?

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Miracu-lousy

Today’s strip severely undersells the concept of miracles.

“Hmmm… we may have just gotten one.” For serious, Jeff, that’s your reaction to information that may well have just saved your son’s livelihood and your nostalgic obsession? Let’s try that line out in some other scenarios.

Al Michaels calling the 1980 Olympic hockey semi-final, USA vs. USSR:

“Eleven seconds. You’ve got 10 seconds. The countdown going on right now. Morrow, up to Silk. Five seconds left in the game. Do you believe in miracles?

Hmmm… we may have just gotten one.

“You Sexy Thing” by Hot Chocolate:

I believe in miracles
Where you from
Hmmm… we may have just gotten one

That old Xerox commercial:

Brother Dominic: Here are your sets, Father. The 500 sets you asked for.

Father: A miracle? Hmmm… we may have just gotten one.

Inspiring.

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