(A tip of the SoSF chapeau to “Minerva Abbot”, a commenter on the original Stuck Funky blog, who started the Act III archive and who wrote the synopses up to August 2008)
Oct. . 21-26, 2007
Act III – Les and daughter at Central Park for Making Strides walk. FW fans react in horror.
Oct. . 27-Nov. 4, 2007
Les and daughter tour Manhattan with Cindy Summers and see Funky at grand opening of Montoni’s in NYC. The concept of Ohio-style pizza sold in NYC openly discussed.
Nov. 5-10, 2007
Becky and family prepare for Veterans Day. Wally references abound.
Nov. 11-17, 2007
School photos at Westview High (introducing Maddie, Jinx, Rana, Summer, Cory). It’s funny because each student has a quirky personality.
Nov. 19-December 1, 2007
Harry Dinkle and retirement. What a bore.
December 3-15, 2007
Pete returns. Les’s writing career has yet to go commercial.
December 16, 2007- January 5, 2008
Summer and Les observe Christmas and New Years. (solo car date, stupor bowl, party at Winkerbeans) No sign of Le Chat Bleu.
January 7-12, 2008
Pete visits Westview High and moves back to town. We’re not sure why he moved back, but we assume it was traumatic.
January 14-26, 2008
John and the band directors’ wives; Becky and the state band contest. We all die a little inside.
January 28-February 3, 2008
Harry and Harriet Dinkle go to Las Vegas. Harry’s session at the massage parlor did not have a happy ending.
February 4-9, 2008
Pizza World magazine announces visit to Montoni’s. Funky decides to remodel.
February 10-16, 2008
Summer as basketball star. Bull can’t believe it.
February 17-March 2, 2008
Pizza World magazine visits Montoni’s. Funky throws money around. Kahn and Crazy Harry make snide comments to each other.
March 3-15, 2008
Summer as basketball star. Bull still can’t believe it.
March 17 -30, 2008
Les takes part-time job at Montoni’s. Suggests to Funky that he should spend more time with family, gets black eye.
March 31-April 12, 2008
Pete moves into apartment above Montoni’s. Mooch makes a comeback.
(April 9 reference to “that girl you were dating from Centerville. . .with the grumpy grandfather”)
April 14-27, 2008
Cory in trouble at high school. Funky too busy to schedule quality time with Cory.
April 28-May 3, 2008
Pizza World cover story on Montoni’s. Funky bought the entire circulation so nobody else in the world read it.
May 5-17, 2008
Harriet Dinkle arranges for a new job for Harry. She has things to do, y’know.
May 19-24, June 8, 2008
School secretary retires. We hardly knew her.
May 26, 2008
Memorial Day parade. Becky sobs silently at the steering wheel.
May 27-31, 2008
Bull becomes athletic department director. Linda and Les spend more time together.
June 2-7, 2008
Les’s interactions with students at semester end. Maddie proves to be slightly off-beat.
June 9-15, 2008
Funky is away from Holly on their anniversary. Hears about it when he gets back.
June 16-21, 2008
Les eases the load on Funky by working at Montoni’s. Summer talks herself out of a job by playing softball in hopes of getting a college scholarship. Les remains a doormat.
June 23-28, 2008
Bull and Jinx try to bond during a “Dad-Daughter Day.” Linda forces the issue by signing them up for summer softball. Violence and hilarity ensues.
June 30-July 5, 2008
Tony Montoni returns from Florida to his old pizza place. He complains that “This pizza is not up to the standard of Montoni’s” and calls for a “pizza intervention.” Readers are left to wonder when jokes about addiction and Funky stopped being funny.
July 7-12, 2008
The summer softball coaches choose their teams. Bull gets spat on. We all smile inside.
July 14-27, 2008
Les travels to New York to put out a fire at Montoni’s. He wistfully thinks of the writing success that has eluded him so far, has lunch with Cindy, and, as he thinks about Lisa, gains insight into a problem with his writing. We never actually find out what he needed to do at Montoni’s.
July 28-August 2, 2008
Bull and Jinx struggle through the first softball practice of the summer. After a warm embrace with Summer, Jinx gets knocked on her ass,
August 3-10, 2008
Summer apparently turns sixteen, attends a party at the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit where she spent the first weeks of her life, and watches a video made by Lisa. She learns about the horrors of cancer, PSA screening, and teen pregnancy in one take.
August 11-17, 2008
“World famous comic-book writer” Pete reveals to John and Crazy that he’s left Marvel for an exclusive contract writing Superman; he immediately is seized by writer’s block.
August 18-24, 2008
Pete confides in John his inability to come up with a Superman story. John leaves li’l Kevin in charge of the Komix Korner and whisks Pete away on a road trip to the Ohio slum where young Jerry Siegel dreamed up Superman.
August 26- 31, 2008
Inside Siegel’s old home, Pete channels young Jerry Siegel as he imagines Supe’s conception. By Sunday, his writer’s block is cured.
Sept. 1- 7, 2008
School is back in session, and we are introduced to Cayla (aka the new Betty) and re-introduced to Susan Smith Westbrook (aka Les’s erstwhile suicidal stalker). Susan brings Les up to speed on the sordid details of her divorce. Cayla sasses Nate.
Sept. 8-14, 2008
Maddie pesters dad Crazy Harry to let her get her driver’s permit, so she can deliver pizzas for Westview’s biggest employer, Montoni’s. The Westview band’s fundraising evolves with the times; now instead of candy or fruitcakes, they’re peddling “carbon offsets” door-to-door.
Sept. 15- 21, 2008
Tony summons workaholic Funky to the pizzeria for an afterhours intervention.
Sept. 22-28, 2008
Funky’s impending 30th high school reunion forces him to face up to what a fat, miserable old bastard he’s become.
Sept. 29-Oct. 5, 2008
Funky shares his dread over the Coming Reunion with his fellow senior citizens Crazy and Les. Sunday, Les has a rendezvous in the park with the Dead Wife Whom Only He Can See.
Oct. 6-12, 2008
Summer leads the organizing effort for the Lisa’s Legacy Walk, and engages in small talk with bad boy Cory. In front of the assembled crowd, Les brandishes the fateful cigar box that contains the proceeds.
Oct. 13-19, 2008
Following the Lisa’s Legacy Walk, Les is horrified to discover that the cigar box and the thousand-plus dollars it held are missing from his backpack. Funky steps forward to magnanimously write a check to cover the missing loot, and we learn that is was that no-good Cory who pulled the theft.
Oct. 20-26, 2008
Les’ latest literary lemon is rejected by the publisher (sent back postage due, insult to injury). He instructs Summer to file it with the rest of his failed efforts. Summer stumbles across Les’ first person account of “Lisa’s Story”, and suggests that Dad “write what you know”, Les fires up the laptop. The week ends with a comic book “tribute”, with Funky as a flabby Flash.
Oct. 27-Nov. 2, 2008
It’s Les’ turn to reflect on the toll that thirty post-high school years have taken, with some good natured joshing from his tomboy daughter. Pre-reunion, Crazy has a request for the DJ: don’t play anything too loud or too fast.
Nov. 3-9, 2008
The reunion is finally here, and those who have never escaped Westview, Ohio are reunited with the glamorous network news reader Cynthia nee Cindy Summers, and Wanda, the gay woman whom as teens they all shunned. The gang assembles for a ghastly group photo op.
Nov. 10-16, 2008
Tony makes an appearance in the business that bears his name, only to flee south in panic at the sight of winter’s first snowflake; but not before he bounces his latest idea off his recovering-alcoholic capo di tutti capo: cups with lettuce and vodka, aka “salad shooters”. Get it?
Nov. 17-23, 2008
Bull is just getting comfortable in his role as Westview’s AD when he is pressed into service as the girls’ basketball coach. His apprehension turns to joy when he learns that Big Walnut Tech’s standout (and Cayla’s daughter) Keisha Williams is now a Lady Scapegoat.
Nov. 24-Nov30, 2008
In one of the most bizarre story arcs in memory, the band’s fundraising efforts become national news thanks to a government bailout. President George W. Bush guest stars.
Dec 1-7, 2008
Summer must now come to grips with having to play in the shadow of her nemesis -turned-teammate Keisha. Maddie trades in her generic ballcap for some kind of Fidel-Castro meets Confederate Army headgear.
Dec 8-14, 2008
Cayla sidles up to Les at basketball practice to swap basketball-genius-daughter stories. Becky learns that the Westview band still sucks.
Dec 15-21, 2008
Rana is thrilled and Summer is mortified as they are both named sophomore members of the Winterfest court. Les does his bit by prying into his daughter’s love life (such as it is) and bringing along the ghost of his late wife to dress-shop.
Dec 22-28, 2008
Not satisfied with having driven Summer to tears at the dress shop, our Les signs up to be a chaperone for Winterfest, as has Keisha’s mom Cayla, Summer’s humiliation is made complete when Les conspires with Funky to set up Cory as Summer’s “mercy date” for the affair.
Dec. 29, 2008-Jan. 4, 2009
The Winterfest begins. Cory fesses up to being an arranged date. Summer arrives home before the chaperones, and from her window spies them in the driveway fogging up the car windows.