If You Only Re-Knew

Link to today’s strip

I have to assume that Rachel’s hands are so calloused from years of pizza-slinging that she has no need for oven mitts. Anyhow, the Funk-Man is angrily waiting to re-take his driver’s exam, sitting and sulking as “those kids today” entertain themselves with their phone gizmos they’re all so fond of these days. Based on the way he’s carrying on you’d think he was the victim here and not merely an idiot who failed to renew his driver’s license for an entire year. The funniest thing about this one is how he has the exact same look on his face that I did upon seeing that TB was doing ANOTHER week of this.

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Dotting The “I”s, Crossing The (zzzzzz)s

Link To Today’s Strip

Good GOD man, this is STILL going on, just lumbering along like TB at a small town Comic Con “Silver Age” round-table discussion. F*cking PONDEROUS, man. As was speculated, Funky the loser has to re-take the driver’s test, which knowing what I know about FW, should go really, really well. I mean we all know how BanTom can wring any premise bone dry but geez, this is unbearable. Why is it that every other premise gets broken up into one or two week installments that take YEARS to play out but THIS one runs for months at a time? Sigh.

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Five o’ Clock Shitshow

I was sure Batiuk felt he’d wrung every last molecule out of this motor vehicle story arc. But against Fat Les’ advice, Funky has indeed driven all the way home and back (can you believe Fat Les was enough of a sport not to alert the cops?) and returned with…a copy of his birth certificiate? Why would he not return with the original document? A business owner, Chamber of Commerce prexy, and, well, grown ass man doesn’t know that for most purposes, a Xeroxed birth certificate is worthless?

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License to Ill

Dealing with Batiuk’s Bureau of Motor Vehicles is not merely frustrating time-consuming…it’s a never-ending, Kafkaesque ordeal from which there is no escape! The death stare that Funky lays on BMV Guy in panel 2 is not bad, but this zany week calls for a much more slapstick “take” in the style of, say, R. Crumb:

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He Not Busy Being Born

Trying to get a driver’s license under an assumed name is no joke these days. If Fat Les really thinks that’s what’s going on here, he should calmly ask “Funky Winkerbean” to wait right here please and then summon the authorities. And assuming Funky’s got his expired license with him, he doesn’t need to produce his birth certificate or anything else beside the $25.75 renewal fee. This is just payback to Funky for busting BMV Guy’s chops. And it’s working: instead of another wry retort, all Funky can muster is sputtering, Crankshaft-like indignation.

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Under Your Spell

spacemanspiff85
February 14, 2017 at 10:45 pm
He has his ID right there. Why is he asking how to spell his name?

Dang, Spiff, wish I’d thought of that! Unlike the probate lawyer we met last week, “BMV guy” is not having any of “funny guy” Funky’s witty repartee. In fact, things start to get chippy. It’s pretty poor customer service to resort to personal insults, but at least have it make sense. Would an unconventional spelling make Funky’s name any less “unfortunate”?

In another case of Batiuk Perhaps Inadvertently Gets Something Right: I don’t know about Ohio’s BMV, but in the New Jersey DMV offices that I’ve visited, the walls are painted that exact shade of sickly, early 90’s “Dusty Rose” mauve.

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Take T…H…A…

Today we observe that rarest of instances in the Funkiverse: our hero, subjected to the withering disdain of a functionary of the state, gains the upper hand by delivering a well-timed, snarky zinger of his own. Funky knows it, too; dig his expression in panel 3: the arched eyebrow and the entirely appropriate sardonic smirk.

I’m going to let this one pass. Feel free, the rest of you, to have at it.

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