Leg Go Already

SosfdavidO here and wow, did today’s artist ever not draw a human being doing a flip properly in in today’s strip! What the heck happened in P2? It looks like she just took a headshot in a Tarantino movie. Not to mention her leg and foot does not even remotely resemble a human leg or foot.

This is “Worst of Rob Leifeld” level stuff here.

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I’m not Byeing It

SosfDavidO here, and boy, looking at the back of the head of an unknown character while they run through a disjointed inner monologue sure makes for a terrible comic, as today’s flaming garbage dumpster of a strip shows.

Just turn him around, already, Tombat! We either not going to recognize him or we’re not going to care. This isn’t a clickbait article designed to pique our interest and trick us into clicking on a link about how child celebrities have physically aged. We don’t care, and we’re caring less and less each day.

Where is Summer!? Why was she written out of the strip? She’s been relegated to moving boxes whenever someone moves in or out of the apartment above Montoni’s and that’s it. Instead of catching up with the only child of Les Moore and Saint Lisa, we’re stuck here with Capt’n Exposition telling us about things we the reader already know.

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Holly Smoke

SosfdavidO, coming up short on fire related puns for today’s today’s mope-a-thon. Once again, Tombat leaves the viewer with a confused sense of wondering what the heck they’re supposed to be feeling. It sure ain’t comedy. It’s more akin to Garrison Keillor’s brand of humor but we the reader don’t get the enjoyment (or misery) of hearing Garrison ramble on out-loud.

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Mope Don’t Tell

SosfdavidO here, and ooh, look who’s being soooo coy in today’s strip not showing the face of the random weirdo wandering around the high school football game by himself.

Are we readers waiting for a payoff? Because unless he turns around to reveal Hannibal Lecter it’s going to be a letdown. But let’s keep padding this story out because we’ve got a whole damn week to fill

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Never Forget Whatshisface

SosfDavidO here! And we’re kicking off this week’s arc with a mysterious stranger! Who could it be in today’s teaser? More importantly, does anyone care? It could be any one of the 21,836 characters that have popped into Westview in the past 40+ years or it could be a retconned character pulled out of thin air. Les’s brother Stanley! Sure, why not?

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Starring Crankshaft as Pennywise

Link to today’s strip.

As usual, Sunday’s strip was not available for preview. Who knows what it might be?  Comic book cover, obliquely referencing Pete and Mindy. who will be stuffed into a corner speaking utterly irrelevant idiocies?  Funky and Les jogging?  Someone vomiting at Montoni’s?  Les hawking the new Lisa book?  (Never has the term “hawking,” in it’s alternate spelling of “hocking,” and meaning “spitting up phlegm,” been more appropriately deployed.)  I can’t think of any other irons that Tom Batiuk has in the fire, though his capacity to surprise–in the most disappointing way–is beyond my ability to predict.

In the real world, the new movie based on Stephen King’s It is projected to take off at the box office–it has already sold something like 20-odd million pre-order tickets, which is pretty rare for something whose title doesn’t begin with “Star” followed by “Wars.”  The film is projected to break box office records for a horror movie.

The film will certainly dethrone Starbuck Jones The Movie at the box office, but this is hardly surprising given Jones‘ performance.  With a first weekend gross of $42 million, Jones debuted respectably for the most anemic Labor Day weekend in over a decade, but subsequent box office returns have seen the film plummeting disastrously–forecasts have it earning just a little over $1000 total for this weekend, at over 2500 theaters (this figure includes children’s matinee showings, oddly enough almost entirely attended by the elderly).  Cable Movie Entertainment spokesman Mason Jarre says the studio is proceeding with the sequel nonetheless, and adds that he feels the upcoming China opening will boost the film’s profile and profits.    His optimism flies in the face of Chinese film commissioner Wong Wei Feldman’s repeated assertions that there are no plans to open the film in China, and that in fact, the Chinese want no part of Starbuck Jones The Movie.   “I have seen stills assembled by someone named John Howard,” Mr. Feldman has stated, “and it looks like garbage…garbage set on fire, and dumped into a vat of sewage.  And we have plenty of that here.”   He then waved off reporters and jumped into his auto-gyro (“The Spirit of St. Louis” emblazoned on the side) and shouted that he was late for his engagement in Wu Hu.

And that, my friends, is my last posting on this go-round of Son of Stuck Funky.  Oh, as Ahnuld said, “I’ll be back,” but in the meantime please give a warm SoSF welcome to the fantastic DavidO, who becomes the new Number Two starting Monday, as I slither back under the storm drains.

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Skin Flakes, Phlegm and Excrement for Color

Link to today’s strip.

So, everyone wanted to see Crankshaft, probably in the futile hope that his demise would be depicted onscreen.

Well, here’s Crankshaft.  He looks like a plastic bag filled with pus trying to decide if gravity is worth resisting any longer.

Tom Batiuk keeps trying to shove Crankshaft down our throats.  And it never works.  No one cares about Crankshaft, it has never generated any interest in anyone to watch it unfold.  I suspect it’s a very low performer, newspaper-wise, and perhaps Mr. Batiuk is trying to shovel his legacy over there now that he has destroyed Funky Winkerbean.  But that’s like trying to choose between a burning building and a sea full of sharks.

And to be honest, the fact that Mindy seeks the approval of the Old, Unplaceable Odor makes her a truly terrible person.  At least Pm N Jff recognize that Crankshaft is something to be tolerated, not cultivated.

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