Regrets, I’ve Had a Few

So many questions around today’s strip. Are Pete and Darin actually creating these throwback strips, or is Pete rendering them in his tiny mind? Is this panel a re-enactment of the events we saw last week? Then, is the guy taking to Bull supposed to be Buck? What th’…? Help us out here, Batiuk/Ayres/Fairgood: give him Buck’s glasses and hair! Tho’ Linda still looks cuter here than she does in “real life”, even if her head resembles a Brillo pad-topped orange on a soda straw.

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Badly Drawn Bull

Rusty
September 10, 2018 at 7:00 am
Well, at least we know this week is going to be painful.

Looks like we’re in for a whole week of this “Sophomoric Sightings” bullshit. Today we learn that in four seasons of high school football, Bull Bushka amassed a record-setting total of forty-three yards. That’s not a per-game average, that’s his high school career total. It’s easy to see why college scouts were so interested. And this pathetic record of his held up for four decades.

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High School Madness

Yeah, th’ hell with having written for Marvel and DC, and having screenwritten a presumably successful Hollywood sci-fi epic and its sequel, and having been personally sought out to launch a new comics startup: what Pete really yearns for are those good old high school days.

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Hello Darling

Programming note: Monday’s strip won’t drop until midnight eastern, so expect another “placeholder” post. Thanks!

Now this strip from last March (see detail) makes sense: the “we” moving back to Ohio is not Darin and Jess, but Darin and Pete. Turns out Boy Lisa was right, too. Jessica seems to have adjusted very well to being a long distance wife and mother.  Shouldn’t she be “trying to sublet the apartment and wrap[ping] up her documentary film work with Cindy”? Instead, she’s lounging on the deck enjoying her fifth Ketel and tonic. She’s so sloshed that she accidentally texts her mother, who is grateful for this misdirected crumb of affection.

Readers of the official FW blog will recognize the bespectacled geek dad in panel one as John Darling, Jessica’s father who was murdered. Unless they read today’s “dialogue,” though, they’ll have a hard time figuring out that the woman who looks exactly like Jessica but with different hair is her mom Jan. As drawn by Tom Armstrong, Jan Murdock was quite the hottie. Batiuk (and the returning Rick Burchett) render her using the Blandly Attractive White Female Template.

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No Cause for Alarm

(Thinks to herself, “Goddammit, there he goes again, trying to dial Montoni’s on the alarm keypad…“) “Uhhh, what are you doing, hon?”

Yeah, definitely a Bull move, thinking that his old record being broken would require him having to duly update the alarm passcode. But since we know that Bull’s mental facilities are in decline, our first thought is “Wouldn’t that make the passcode a little harder for him to remember?” Another example of how TB, in his quest for relevancy, undermines his attempts at lighthearted humor.

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Everything’s Broken

billytheskink
September 3, 2018 at 1:53 am
Why wouldn’t Bull want to go to the game? Why hasn’t he been going to games ever since he retired? He’s a legend as both player and coach at Westview. They named the stadium after him

Add this to the list of things that billytheskink remembered and Batiuk forgot, and to the litany of indignities heaped upon Bull this week. Maybe Principal Nate just told Bull they were renaming the stadium in his honor, figuring he’d forget about it too. Judging from Bull’s deranged facial expression, his mind’s just about gone. At least Batiuk saved the one decent “broken record” play on words until late in the week, though it’s delivered as an irritable rebuke from long-suffering Linda.

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Advise-a-Bull

One of the perks of being a retired Westview faculty member, I guess, is unfettered access to all areas of the campus. You’d think that an athlete who’s just set a new team record might be surrounded by teammates and well-wishers, but here’s #31 just sitting alone at his locker, still in uniform, savoring his accomplishment until Bull can manage to make his way down from the cheap seats.

“Have you got any advice for me?” Sure!

“Don’t take up tennis! You’ll need to buy two rackets!”

“Don’t take up jogging! You’ll keep running into Funky and Les!”

“Better get started on the Rogaine, your hairline’s receding almost as much as mine!”

 

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