Tag Archives: Montoni’s

A-Pickin’ And A-Smirkin’

Link To Today’s

Cindy’s jocular brand of cynicism is almost as annoying as Les’ face is. Almost, but not quite. I guess the gag here is supposed to be how little Les’ students respect him, which seems believable enough, I suppose. Speaking of annoying, Mason’s bizarre hair strand is a real rage trigger, especially the way he crammed it in there in panel one, where it actually trespasses into the word balloon, annoyingly enough. And what’s up with Cayla’s heavily-sedated smirk? You can tell she’s originally from out of town.

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Massholes

Link To Today’s Strip

I don’t know what Mason is doing to that slice there in panel two but it’s hard to believe it made it past the CK censors. Blech. This one is a visual nightmare, but at least he got Cindy’s hair color right this time.

So it’s “You’ll Hate Your Career Day” at WHS already, eh? Time sure does fly. Last year’s guest speaker, the former night manager at Montoni’s, dissuaded plenty of kids from choosing a career in pizza arts and Cindy is way more wry than he was, so IMO her talk will go over like gangbusters with Les’ class. They are, after all, at that age where pondering your future failure and unhappiness is very important, the decisions they make today are tomorrow’s regrets. Dream small, little Scapegoats, as it’ll soften the landing.

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There’s Always Someone Around You

Link to today’s strip.

And another strip unavailable for preview.  Of course, that’s typical for Sundays so no surprises there.  I dare say, if I may be so bold, that it has been quite some time since we last saw Funky and Les running.  Or we might just get more Dinkle.

Anyway, for my first time back in the chair in a while, let’s recall the wonders we witnessed recently during my stint:  Wally got a pizza party and Dinkle looked for food.  When your strip is just jammed full of action and adventure like that, you should certainly expect the awards to roll on in!   You’d also expect people to buy your books, not only for themselves but as gifts for others!  I mean, who wouldn’t want a boxed set of Dinkle’s entire Claude Barlow witlessisms?  Sure, maybe the Norms would balk, but they’re not on award committees so they can be ignored.  And ignored with gusto!

Well!  That’s it for me, at least for the present.  It’s time to hand off this cold, damp slice of pizza off to the Stunningly Suave SpacemanSpiff85!    He’ll focus his fearsome frap-ray blaster on the festering fools who fill Funky‘s foul fiefdom–for a fortnight!

Thank you all for your indulgence!  And now, exit–stage right!

 

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Break a Wish

Link to today’s strip.

Not much to say about this one…it’s okay, but the fact that Rachel’s wish was for Wally to become a night manager at a pizza place–well.  It’s hard to think of anything sadder.  Although I’m sure Batiuk regards that as a challenge and will get right to work on that.

I have to say, that’s the most unappetizing pizza I’ve ever seen.  It looks cold and damp.  This might be a testament to Chuck Ayers’ drawing skills, but I think he’s going in the wrong direction.

Charles made an interesting observation in yesterday’s comments, to wit: “H-1B visas are temporary work permits for foreigners who have specialty skills. Washing dishes at or assistant managing a pizza place is not one of those skills. Adeela’s literally taking a job a local American could do.’

That got me to thinking…why was Adeela here in the first place?  I have to assume that H-1B visas are given to foreigners whose skills are pre-existing.  In other words, they’ve already been trained in a specialty that few Americans have.

Adeela, though, was going to school here in the US to acquire her architecture degree…in other words, she was given an H-1B based on a skill she did not already possess.

Could it possibly work that way?  “Oh, here’s a Muslim woman who wants an H-1B visa.  What?  She doesn’t have a specialty skill?  Oh, well, I’m sure she’ll go to college here and get one.  Next!”

Batiuk should really stick to things he knows about, or at least learn to use Google.

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Let’s Make Adeela!

Link to today’s strip.

Well, those of you who said that Adeela will end up working at Montoni’s–please go to the ticket booth to collect your winnings!

I’m rather surprised that Wally, only a few minutes into his new position, felt that he could go over Funky’s head and hire someone to work–and on someone else’s shift, too.  That’s pretty damn bold, and not in his character at all.  I kind of thought he’d be all cringey and cowardly, and he’d meekly ask for another favor before presenting Adeela as a possible hire.

I think Batiuk thought we’d all be surprised by this development, but it was honestly pretty inevitable.  The only thing he could do with Adeela was either send her back to Miseristan or make her part of the regular cast.  And I’m sure he thought that if he kept her around, those awards would start rolling in.   I guess she’s not quite as punchable as the worst characters here, but she doesn’t really bring anything to the strip (other than making Batiuk’s thirst for awards even more obvious).  She’s just a distaff Wally, a sack of misery pushed here and there by forces she’s decided she cannot fight.

I guess Funky’s dialogue proves that Rachel is quitting–I’m not sure what a “day person” is, but it probably wasn’t Wally.  Wally was a dishwasher (and I’m sure that will still be his primary role), and “day person” sounds like someone who actually runs the place…which sounds an awful lot like like Funky, come to think.

Well, there’s no way that Adeela is going to replace Funky, because as a female, she’s incapable of so many things in Westview.   But, whatever her role in the restaurant, I’m sure that architecture degree will come in super handy.

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Yellow Alert: Someone’s Happy

Link to today’s strip.

So, either Wally is just now being hired at Montoni’s, despite all the history to the contrary, or Tom Batiuk thinks “Welcome” means “You’re still working here, in the same position, but now you have a degree.”  And well Tony might add, “A degree you’ll do nothing with, of course, except increase the amount of depression in your life, in that you’re now a dishwasher with a degree.”

I think I’ve figured out a possible reason for Batiuk’s utter lack of continuity:  he hates this strip as much as the rest of the world does, and it’s painful to go back and re-read it.  All he’s doing is pounding them out until that 50th.

I have to say, Funky’s exercise routine has finally paid off.  I don’t think he’s looked this trim in years.  Or maybe Ayers gets paid by the number of fat-asses he has to draw, and Batiuk has a budget in place for 2019.

After thinking about it for awhile (a phrase I hate wasting on Funky Winkerbean) it bothers me the way Tony is drawn.  Based on Wally and Adeela’s elbows, I can sort of see where the tabletop should be, but somehow Tony looks too tall.  So either they’re sitting in kiddie chairs, which would be par for the course for Wally, or Tony is standing on a box.

Why is it that no one involved in the creation of this strip gives a good hot damn about its presentation?

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Please DON’T have mistletoe.

Link to Today’s Comic.

I stayed up late waiting for this strip to drop. And thank Dead St. Lisa, we are no longer having ‘the talk.’ Instead Holly and Funky are entertaining their only two repeat customers.

And, actually, today’s strip is amusing enough, and does point out an actual weird lyric in a famous song. (There is a historical explanation,, but it’s within character for the Funky Bunch to not know it.) It isn’t a completely dead tradition though, I remember one Christmas where, on the tree, were envelopes with cash inside. Pretty good presents on that tree that year.

I have a feeling that Holly would hate me though. As a child that grew up on way too much MST3K, my logic sensors are primed to sniff out any tiny inconsistency and snark on it. What I’m saying is, I’m really relating to Funky in today’s strip…and isn’t that a terrifying thought.

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