Tag Archives: Montoni’s

Please DON’T have mistletoe.

Link to Today’s Comic.

I stayed up late waiting for this strip to drop. And thank Dead St. Lisa, we are no longer having ‘the talk.’ Instead Holly and Funky are entertaining their only two repeat customers.

And, actually, today’s strip is amusing enough, and does point out an actual weird lyric in a famous song. (There is a historical explanation,, but it’s within character for the Funky Bunch to not know it.) It isn’t a completely dead tradition though, I remember one Christmas where, on the tree, were envelopes with cash inside. Pretty good presents on that tree that year.

I have a feeling that Holly would hate me though. As a child that grew up on way too much MST3K, my logic sensors are primed to sniff out any tiny inconsistency and snark on it. What I’m saying is, I’m really relating to Funky in today’s strip…and isn’t that a terrifying thought.



Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Issues Of Futures Passed

Link To Today’s Strip

Poor, poor Wally. At long last everything appears to finally be going his way. He’s about to graduate with a coveted six year degree in pizzeria management, he’s once again able to freely mingle and fraternize with co-eds and his uncle is about to bestow upon him the highest honor a Westviewian can achieve. So naturally the Great Pulitzer Nominee is setting him up for yet another brutal gut-punch, another cruel setback, another trigger that will send his PTSD into overdrive and destroy the happiness he’s painstakingly built for himself over the last several years.

Apparently “Adeela” is some sort of new character hailing from the war-ravaged Middle East, a character who just happens to be enrolling at Westview Community College just as Wally reaches the apex of his long and painful recovery. And if I know my FW, this Adeela will probably be a one-armed radioactive comic book fanatic who stepped on a “bouncing Betty” on the way to the chemo ward after gaining a lot of weight. Lord only knows where this might be going but if Wally’s involved it’s a safe bet that it’s nowhere good.


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Relatively Speaking

Link To Today’s Strip

As usual the characters are furiously babbling and making no sense whatsoever. Wally already DOES “work with” Funky and has been doing so for YEARS now. Are we to believe Funky has been withholding the most important and meaningful secrets of the pizzeria trade from his nephew until he was sufficiently educated? Why are they talking about Wally like he’s some sort of child and why are the carrying on as if being made assistant manager at Montoni’s would represent some great career leap for him? “Fresh ideas”…”thriving”…LOL, I mean come on.


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

The Analogies Of A Short Distance Runner

Link To Today’s Installment

Ol’ Man Winkerbean, fifty-five going on eighty-eight. Pass the baton, break the tape…what, is Montoni’s somehow involved in some sort of bizarre long-term business competition or something? “I’ll be damned if Kowalski Shoe Repair beats ME for longest continually operating Westviewian business! Help me pull out these IV tubes”. All of a sudden he’s Carl Lewis with the running references even though when he does run all he does is complain about it.

It’s pretty funny how Wally needed to earn a six-year business management degree in order for his uncle to consider him worthy of operating his pizza business. Working for six years to earn a college degree only to find yourself exactly where you were when you started…that’s just so, so Wally. Then again maybe he’s just pacing himself and biding his time until he hits his 80s and life becomes wacky and zany again. Either way it’s profoundly depressing, I mean hasn’t he already suffered enough?


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Arrivederci, Sir Tony

Link To Today’s Strip

So Tony came back for two days specifically to a) remind the readers that Wally is finally graduating and b) leave again almost immediately. It’s funny how everyone naturally assumed Tony was in Florida, a situation that needed no further explanation or embellishment, but actually he was right there at Montoni’s the whole time, which of course also meant that he was still seeing Wally regularly and probably would have known all about his upcoming graduation thereby rendering the last two days even more inexplicable. So in just two days BanTom revisited a character no one was clamoring for or talking about and who had no loose plot threads to speak of and created a whole series of new and even stupider questions about that character, questions that can never and will never be resolved or spoken of again. All just to get that “God’s waiting room” gag into the strip. Truly a master crapstman at work.


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Cavalcade Of The Forgotten

Link To Today’s Strip

Holy shit on a shingle, it’s Tony! It’s been YEARS since he’s made an appearance. Ditto the infamous green pitcher. Tony is off to Florida for the winter, as indicated by his staggeringly gaudy retiree shirt, commonly used to establish retirement among adorable old coots. Which begs the question: why does he keep coming back to Ohio if he’s retired? I don’t know but, as I pointed out yesterday, at least it doesn’t involve Les or comic books, so the fact that this conversation makes almost no sense at all is largely irrelevant. Dare I say that as a longtime FW reader I’m actually almost enjoying this daily parade of long neglected characters, as I think everyone’s had their fill of Atomik Komix for the next few decades.


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

That’s A Good Boy

Link To Today’s Strip

FW’s most beloved character (by far) is finally back! No, not that bizarre Wally impostor, whoever he is. Of course I’m referring to Buddy The PTSD Service Dog, who’s as fuzzy and lovable as ever. It’s about goddamned time too. That’s a good, good dog!

Mysteries abound in today’s somewhat peculiar installment. Did Wally always wear those scholarly glasses? Why aren’t Wally’s male classmates smothering Buddy with love as well? Why is Rachel so insecure? Didn’t Batiuk use this exact same gag at least once before? So people still say “co-eds” in this day and age? I really don’t know, but I do know that these idiots are a breath of fresh air after two hundred consecutive weeks of Pete, Boy Lisa and f*cking comic books, that incredibly clunky line of expository dialog in panel one notwithstanding.


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky