Tag Archives: Montoni’s

Reach Out And Punch Someone

Link To Today’s Strip

Ha ha, look, a callback to a recent arc! You remember, the one where Holly was all upset because Cory never answers her calls! Remarkably, it’s still exactly as funny as it was the first time. Even funnier is the wary look on Funky’s face, good thing they left Mr. Weisenheimer in charge instead of someone qualified. Nice going, fatso.

So I guess they’re really taking this trip to Florida. Holly and Funky in a car together for six days…(shudder). That’s considered torture in some countries. Not this one, though. At this rate the Alumni Reunion Band thing could take years to play out. Then again, tomorrow’s strip could feature Funky and Holly talking about the trip and the reunion in the past tense and honestly I wouldn’t even bat an eye. After yesterday’s strip, a two-week car ride arc is the least of our problems, as a senior citizen marching band arc appears to be, uh, looming, let’s say. Sigh.

Those eyeballs in the corner really freaked me out until I realized it’s just the Montoni’s logo in the window. The sudden attention to detail really threw me off.

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The Gazebo Is Not A “Destination”

Link To Today’s Strip

Early Act III Cory had a personality. A sullen disagreeable personality but a personality nonetheless. But that was a long time ago, during that weird period when FW was still basking in the Pulitzer (nominee) afterglow and BanTom was still doing his Act II-style serialized “stories”. Here in 2018 The Corporal is just another annoying wryness drone with a strangely-rendered head, buzzing in and out of the strip every few years to crack wise and further some glacially paced plot line that’s been going nowhere for a solid two or three years now. Just marry the two of them already, why does their engagement need half a decade to play out?

Why’d he even bother with bringing Cory back at all? This strip is lousy with little-seen characters who offer nothing when they pop up out of nowhere every three years, I seriously doubt anyone would have missed Cory any more than they miss, say, Summer or Jinx or Cody or the field goal kicker. It’s all so pointless and random. But at least we have another (sigh) wedding arc to look forward to in two or three years, followed by the inevitable Pete and Mindy comic book (sigh) wedding which should be on the schedule in 2022 or thereabouts. Oh boy.

 

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No Pizza Mind

Link To Today’s Strip

Man, Wally and Rachel must be livid right now. Despite working there for a combined one hundred years, their boss totally overlooks them and hands over temporary control of Westview’s pizza supply to the moronically grinning Corporal and his stupidly smirking sidekick Rocky instead. Of course The Corporal responds to this huge honor and massive responsibility by immediately resorting to imbecilic wordplay, the sort of thing that would have caught him a serious beating (at best) back during his Army days. No one respects Funky at all, possibly because of insanely stupid decisions like this.

Seriously though, in Westview pizza is like a public utility and ANY disruption in the pipeline could lead to throngs of malnourished comic book nerds doubling over with crippling hunger pains, something the town fathers are woefully unprepared for. Picture hordes of starving young comic book thugs ransacking homes and freezers looking for a Mama Celeste to tide them over..if you can stomach the thought, that is.

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Nuclear Whiner

Link to today’s strip.

I’ll admit I found today’s strip amusing.  What’s interesting is that Tom Batiuk actually took the trouble to build to this punchline, both by portraying Holly as increasingly anxious and angry, and by using yesterday’s strip as a direct lead-in to today’s.   The payoff is nice; it shows Holly being self-aware enough to know she was overreacting, and it de-escalates things (for now).  It also shows that Mr. Batiuk is (or was, as this week was likely made up of old standby strips) capable of creating something that is at least funny.

The pacing is still off–it would have been better to cull the “fat-fingering” episodes and reformat this arc as a single Sunday strip–but it’s been obvious for some time that Tom Batiuk is just running out the clock.  Ya can’t make that ol’ 50th by being briefer, after all.   Still, the week showed some nice craftsmanship; the humor, instead of coming completely out of the blue like most of his “wit,”  was planned in advance.  Bravo.

The craftsmanship in the artwork is 50/50.  The drawing of the scene is quite good, showing some nice perspective and giving a sense of “place.”  The characters, on the other hand, are rendered as slap-dash, sketchily-defined blobs–and I’m aware that they are slap-dash, sketchily defined blobs; it would just be nice to see some consistency panel-to-panel.

It would also be nice to see the non-author avatar characters drawn with a bit more sympathy.  Holly looks like she steps on puppies for fun, and Funky looks like someone exhumed him from a shallow grave somewhere.  But none of that will change; it’s also obvious that Tom Batiuk just loathes Funky with all his heart.  Still, there’ve been worse weeks here; considering we had no Les and no comic books, I’d put this episode in the “plus” column.

Congratulations Mr. Batiuk.

 

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Mr. Lucky

Link to today’s strip.

Greetings, folks, BChasm back in the control room.  Many thanks to Comic Book Harriet for excellent guest hosting the last two weeks.  Well done.

As for today’s strip, yeah, I do feel lucky.  The last few hosts have had to feast on stupid comic book schemes, Les’ eternal book tour or Pete’s love life; today I get one of the few characters in this strip that I don’t want to strangle, Funky himself.  (Though with Funky’s life outlook, he’d probably beg me to.)

Don’t misunderstand me, he’s not a good character, but compared to the rest of the cast he’s a positive breath of fresh Spring air.  His main drawback is his insistence on viewing everything in the most negative light possible, which gets very tiresome, but at least he’s not coasting on a giant cloud of (unearned) smugness, convinced of the magnificence of his (nonexistent) talent.

Anyway, what do we have today?  Holly wants to micromanage the Cory/Rocky wedding, and Cory refuses to comply.  Myself, I thought they were already married but, considering that unless the subject is comic books or Les Moore, Tom Batiuk cannot be bothered, I’ll assume they aren’t.

I don’t seem to have much to say here.  I guess I’m just too relieved that we’re spared more comic books and/or Les.

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I Don’t Like To Throw The Word “Hate” Around Casually But F*ck These People And The Horses They Rode In On

Link To The Nadir Of This Arc…So Far

I don’t even understand what this is supposed to be. OBVIOUSLY it’s a problem for him, I mean the f*cking guy is throwing away a lucrative Hollywood screenwriting career to “be closer” to the first and only woman who’s able to tolerate his presence for more than three seconds. It’s as desperate as it’s possible to be. Yet in spite of that SHE has been waiting around for seven-plus months to see the cretin again, a fact adequately explained by that terrifying expression on her face in panel two. Stop pretending you have options there, Mindy. It isn’t like Westview is teeming with eligible bachelors, if she passes on Pete she’ll be left to choose between Cody and Bernie and quite frankly IMO they’re both out of her league.

And to add insult to injury he has to end THIS annoying sub-arc on a “cliffhanger” too, because actually wrapping up even the dumbest sub-arc in a mere six days is apparently just too much work, I guess. If he manages to drag this out for yet another week it’ll mark two full months of this, which is probably some sort of FW milestone, or it would be if anyone cared enough to keep track of that sort of thing. Soon it’ll be like DiMaggio’s 56 game hitting streak, except far less impressive.

After four long weeks of the Atomic Comics mega-arc I’ve had enough. Stayed tuned for billytheskink who takes the wheel on Monday as well as a Very Special Guest Post tomorrow! Until next time….stay Funky!

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Seven And A Half And Seven And A Half Is…

Link To Today’s Atrocity

So, it takes the “average woman” seven-and-a-half months to lose sexual interest in Pete? Hmmm, see, I would have guessed seven-and-a-half seconds but perhaps these Westview/Centerville women are a little slow on the uptake. Apparently she’s all a-flutter over how Pete is willing to throw away a wildly lucrative career just to be “near her”, which tells you plenty about how long it’s been since BatWrite has interacted with any women.

And what is Pete even talking about here? They haven’t been “dating” for seven-and-a-half months, in fact THIS is technically their “first date”. Thus according to my calculations Pete should be comfortably sexless by mid-November or so, which will be right around when this arc hits the halfway mark…IF we’re lucky. And I’ve been doing this long enough to know we won’t be.

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