Tag Archives: Flash Freeman

by | May 5, 2019 · 1:11 am

Good advice that you just didn’t take

Montoni’s is busy in today’s strip! What? And Holly is flustered to the max and jealous of unhealthily self-conscious Cindy all the sudden*? Crazy!

Speaking of Crazy, his advice… isn’t ironic? I don’t know, actually, but I do know it’s been relevant to TB for decades. If only TB would take it one day.

Wait, Montoni’s is busy with regular FW cast members. Sheesh, this strip doesn’t even truly earn its “the rare Montoni’s customer” tag. This, THIS level of business has Holly frazzled and exhausted? She is as cut out for food service as Funky is for giving out marriage advice.

* Holly being self-conscious about her body hasn’t happened in a while, but to be fair, it actually isn’t new. It even goes back to when she was the other shoe.

Thanks for putting up with me and my blue tongue for the past two weeks. Thoughts and prayers for our next blogger…

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by | May 3, 2019 · 10:30 pm

Batiukruptcy

Today’s strip about Free Comic Book Day finally being over happens on the actual Free Comic Book Day. Makes sense…

What is DSH all consternated about? Money? Bankruptcy? As best I can tell, the only thing he paid for in this whole Free Comic Book Eon Day was transportation and insurance on Holtron. All indications are that Pete, Durwood, and Flash showed up as a favor. Mason definitely showed up as a favor. I’m pretty sure Les and “Batton” just showed up uninvited (Really, who would invite them anywhere?). Heck, based on what we saw, DSH didn’t even give out any free comic books. If buying pizza for eight puts Komix Korner into bankruptcy then it was going into bankruptcy within the month anyways and/or he never should have spent money on Holtron (though both crane rentals and multi-million dollar umbrella insurance policies can run as low as a few hundred dollars).

Maybe he was referring to how long this Free Comic Book Day thing has been going on, though I would argue we are closer to chapter 78 than 11.

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by | April 24, 2019 · 10:30 pm

What the Starbuck?!

If today’s strip is any indication, comic books make your nose grow.

Also, this angry fellow who may be Stinky Peterson or perhaps Flash’s long-lost grandson apparently hasn’t read TB’s blog series Batom Comics – The Untold History, which affirms Flash Freeman as the creator of Starbuck Jones in name and concept. Not that I blame him, of course, I didn’t even read it…

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by | April 23, 2019 · 10:30 pm

A Silver-Age Comic

“I thought you were dead.”
Says Bernie in today’s strip
“Nice to meet you too.”

Bernie, Bernie *sigh*
It’s Phil Holt that’s the dead guy
Turn in your nerd card

It’s a fair guess, though
Batom Comics was founded
65 years back

That’s without time jumps
So Flash must be 90 plus
Did time stretch his face?

Thatsnought’s creepy smile
Over Durwood’s chicken scratch?
It’s a rictus grin

Pete, what’s with that face?
Keep your hands where we can see
Please please please please please

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by | April 22, 2019 · 10:30 pm

Out of Commission

The overestimation of Pete and Durwood’s market value we saw yesterday continues in today’s strip, though now it is Durwood and Pete who are doing the overestimating.

$10 to draw Thatsnought Hewmore into a Sophomoric Sightings panel?! That’s piracy! Durwood draws a couple of unknown titles for a startup comics publisher and is exhibiting at a Free Comic Book Day event, nobody is there to spend money at all, much less on his limited artistic skills. Durwood should be glad-handing customers as much as possible in hopes that they’ll even consider thumbing through next month’s issue of The Inedible Pulp.

Pete’s offer is a bit better, partially because he’s charging less but mostly because he’s sitting next to Les. In contrast to Pete’s attempted $5 grift, Les is trying to unload copies of Lisa’s Story at (presumably) the suggested retail price of: HA! No.

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by | April 18, 2019 · 10:30 pm

Cry For Help

So Flash just randomly dropped by the same time John had decided to randomly drop by. Okay then. Plotting is difficult, apparently. It always amuses me how Batiuk just obviously thinks people know who this random minor characters are and that everybody just immediately recognizes them and is thrilled to see them back. I barely remembered who Flash even was and I have to be in the top 1% of people who give a crap about this strip. I like how Darin is just inviting people to make appearances at John’s store.
It’s fun how the artist made sure to get John’s creepy spiky gray hair and Pete’s eye bags just right, but barely drew a face on Mindy. I’m not even sure if what she has there technically counts as a nose.
This strip is more fun if you imagine Flash’s words as a little Easter egg expressing Batiuk’s desire to be done with all this.  It’s totally not necessary though, I mean, the entire strip gives off that vibe.

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by | April 24, 2018 · 10:31 pm

Or You Could Just Die, Either Or

Link To Today’s Thing

Once again BatHole’s vast “writing” ineptitude is on full display. If you were reading the events of this story in novel form you’d have laughed and casually tossed it into the fireplace already, just to spare yourself the embarrassment of having it in your home. So just like that this Flash guy is leaving? Does he work there or was he just brought in specifically to wish Pete well with his new job? It’s such a weird and inexplicable tangent, all for a really sad and pitiful payoff too.

“Hello, Flash? This is Chester Hagglemore. I own a new comic book company based on Batom Comics. Do you remember the ol’ Eaton Building where you used to work? Well, I bought it and…”

“What? Hello? (buttons on keypad being pressed)”

“Mr. Flash, I bought that building and one of my employees is a big fan of your old work and I thought…”

“What? Hello? Who’s this now? Comic books?”

“Yes sir, I was wondering if you’d let me stash you in the building to surprise this Pete fellow, it’d really mean a lot to him and…”

“Hello? Brady Wentworth, now THERE was a REAL SCUMBAG! Still OWES ME MONEY!! Hello?”

(phone rustling noises, yelling)

“This is Mr Flash’s nurse. You’ll have to call him back, the “Diagnosis: Murder” with Tim Conway and Harvey Korman is on. After dinner is fine, say 3:15 or so.”

I mean come on. And Pete has been in the comic book game for years now, while being flattered by McFlashowitz’s praise is all well and good that grotesque star-struck look on his face is way out of proportion with the events that just took place.

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