Link to today’s strip. Note: Comics Kingdom has finally awakened.
First of all, let me apologize for recycling a phrase for a blog post title, but I must confess I liked that phrase so much that I thought it deserved a bit of immortality. Surely, if Tom Batiuk can resurrect the moronic whimsy he concocted when he was ten years old, I can re-employ a phrase from just last week. Especially when mine is so much better.
Sunday’s strip was not available for preview, probably because it’s terrible and extra time would just mean extra critiques. My guess this time is that we’ll remain with The Story of Chester Hagglemore, Bounder and Cad, Volume Eighteen, but every time I guess at these things it’s like Bullwinkle trying to pull a rabbit out of a hat. Except Bullwinkle was funny. This strip…not so much.
So, here’s a nice painting of the seashore.
Speaking of funny, thus ends my time in the Cylinder of Despair; taking over, starting tomorrow, your master of ceremonies will be Epicus Doomus. His posts are guaranteed to be funnier than this comic strip. While admittedly that’s not much of a stretch, Epicus definitely brings the entertainment…while certain cartoonists we might name adamantly refuse to do the same. Hail Epicus!
Is TB is trying to tell us something in today’s strip? “I guess it’s OK to keep going” has been the unofficial motto of this strip ever since he realized that 50 was only 15 more than 35, hasn’t it?
Whether TB had a bout of self-awareness or not, this strip is a confession of poor effort. The parts are all there? Sure, we’ll go along with that. Pity they were never any good, though.
That’s it for the stint of this humble garden lizard. Comic Book Harriet takes over tomorrow, and we shall all see whether the good ship Funky stays in the doldrums of Dinkle or finds some newfound rocks upon which to run aground.
Please gaze longingly out the window embracing the ghost of a loved one while waiting for the first strip of the New Year to drop. Happy, happy, snarkers.
Link To Today’s Strip
All week he’s “Harry L. Dinkle”, now today he’s “that band director”. My God he’s made a mess of the dialog this week. I doubt there’s much of a risk of wild baton stunts with the Manorisms, seeing how they aren’t a marching band and all, but Batiuk never let logic get in the way of referencing a really old gag he left behind decades ago.
This has been mentioned all week but wow, the new guy has aged Holly by twenty five years at least, she looks like Morton’s mother today. Wouldn’t you think there’d be some sort of reference guide handy, one that lists all the characters ages and such? Why so matronly?
Well thankfully THAT’S over for now, time for me to step aside and turn the microphone over to…TF Hackett himself! Happy new year and see you in 2018!
Link To Today’s Strip
“I can’t BELIEVE that no one at The Syndicate realizes that I’m just repeating the same sequences of words and re-telling the same old stories day after day after day! I know! I’ll make this one a one-paneler, tee-hee!”
I can’t believe someone pays for this content. Lifelong Westviewian fixture Funky suddenly doesn’t remember his legendary band teacher (and infamous local legend) Harry L. Dinkle, Holly is talking to Funky like he’s new in town and the Alzheimer’s patient is as sharp and quick-witted as ever. He retconned the entire strip just for the sake of re-telling that dumb Rose Bowl parade story, apparently just because he associates the new year holiday with the Tournament Of Roses parade, I guess. Then, after turning his characters into total imbeciles in order to shoehorn his dumb reference into the strip, he can’t figure out how to end it without resorting to pathetic filler, brainless repetition and a “hilarious old coot” gag on top. What a sorry display.
Link To Today’s Strip
“Then Mr. Dinkle came into the girls locker room and told us to get “backwards dressed”. You know what, I’m beginning to think there might be something slightly amiss about that guy!”. And during the trip to Pasadena they vomited instead of eating and sat outside the bus, which of course was going in reverse. Then later in life you decided to re-marry so you chose the opposite of someone you liked and were attracted to then let yourself go completely instead of making an effort to be healthy. We get it.
BatNard should try writing these FW strips backwards, starting with an actual joke first then working his way back. That way perhaps one of them might eventually include one. Why are they letting Holly hijack Christmas (and Morton’s glory) with these inane and totally pointless Dinkle stories? I guess the idea here was to do a sort of “you wanna hear about Dinkle? Well, do I have some Dinkle stories for you!” kind of thing but absolutely no one was demanding more Dinkle stories so why he went off on this particular tangent at this particular time is beyond me. His endless need to constantly re-establish the basic traits of characters he’s been doing for forty-plus years is downright intelligence-insulting. Everyone already knows that Dinkle is an annoying nut who’s always capable of doing something wacky, there’s no need for unrelated characters to drone on about him for days on end.
Link To Today’s Strip
Mort’s BAND, Mort’s GROUP…does it always have to be an ensemble? Every week he picks a new word or phrase and just beats you over the head with it all week. Mattress, trilogy, signing and now ensemble. Oh yeah, “my mom” too.
As usual BatWhat creates a decent enough premise with reasonable comedic potential, then inexplicably steers it straight into the ground nose down, full speed ahead. Suddenly Holly is telling ancient old Dinkle marching band war stories for some reason, my guess being “intense author malaise” or “devoid of ideas” but who knows, maybe he seriously believes that someone, somewhere might find this entertaining on some level. He apparently just can’t do a Dinkle story without slipping into this weird euphoric reverie over the “good ‘ol days”, the very same good ol’ days he made a conscious artistic decision to move away from “back in the day”. What a nut.
LOL seriously though, back to the strip. It certainly looks like Holly’s well on her way to a one-way ticket to Bedside Manor herself, as apparently she’s forgotten that Funky attended the same high school she did. In fact the entire strip is named after him. And I’m sure he heard all about the big Rose Bowl parade appearance, both at the time and ten thousands times since. But I guess it was just easier and faster to pretend that Funky needs some background on this Dinkle fella than to write a plausible conversation a normal person might have. And that’s really what it’s all about, is it not?
All in all this one is so mind-warpingly stupid it can’t help but make me wonder what he was being distracted by when he half-assed his way through the last few word balloons of 2017. Something on television? Staring out the window at the ceaseless winter snowfall? Pizza? Lisa? Whatever it was, he obviously put less than nothing into this drivel.