Tag Archives: cellphone

E-Fail

Link To Today’s Real Strip

Ha! Fooled ya! Funky isn’t dying, at least not today. If you missed yesterday’s “real” strip, no you didn’t. Funky on the treadmill reading e-mails…one of FW’s most beloved “running” gags. Get it? Anyhow, Lard Ass has been going to that gym for the better part of a decade now, so you’d think he wouldn’t be quite this imbecilic by this point.

And that BatHam, always with the e-mail gags. It’s like how my parents were with VCRs, this internet stuff will never not be voodoo to him, no matter how dated it gets.

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Ashes To Ashes, Funk To Funky

Link To Today’s Atrocity

Sigh. Once again Dick Facey is forced to defend the sanctity and honor of his cancer book, which as always makes one wonder why he keeps agreeing to these adaptations. No one cares about the time Les littered Central Park with Lisa’s mortal remains (which is probably illegal anyhow), why Mason would need to include that bit of morbidity in his stupid movie is anyone’s guess. I’m pretty sure that precise historical accuracy isn’t really necessary to properly tell Lisa’s f*cking story…again…but TomLes never could resist an opportunity to snuggle his masterpiece firmly to his bosom and screech “MINE!” at anyone attempting to soil or defame it. This is definitely FW’s most annoying recurring theme and there are plenty of those to choose from, believe you me.

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The only creature that knows of death, and its inevitability

Link to the Sunday Mourning strip.

I’m writing this before the Sunday strip becomes available, as is usual for Sunday and Funky Winkerbean.  Thus, I have no idea what it might be.  I have a feeling we’ll be seeing more trivia associated with the upchucking upcoming Lisa’s Story movie, but we might get Funky and Holly at home, or–in a massive middle finger to “continuity”–Funky and Les out for a morning run.   Remember the time Les flew to Africa, then flew back to Ohio in the middle of his trek up Mount Kilimanjaro so he could comment on Funky’s new car?  He then immediately flew back and ended up back with his tour group.  Lucky for them, huh?  Probably, that’ll be revised so that it was Mason’s private plane doing all that plague bacillus transporting, even though Mason was but a glimmer in Batiul’s eye back then, because when you have awards to win, tiny little details like telling a coherent story are totally unimportant.

UPDATE:  Oh my goodness, Lisa’s Story is the most tragic and heart-rending story every told.   Every detail is just more piteous and disturbing.  Why?  Is it because her suffering reaches deep into the soul, and illustrates the grand scheme of life in all its glory, which is then only cut from us cruelly, and discarded, along with all our dreams?

No, it’s because it gave an asshole like Les Moore the gateway to fame and respect–two things that should never have come close to this utterly loathsome gibbering slime-sheet.  I would give–(checks pocket change)–$1.78 if Mason would just dump Les into the fountain and say, “What a waste of space you are.  Good luck getting an airline ticket out of here; after I use my enormous fame to blacken your reputation forever, no one will want to touch you.”

Heck, I could go as high as $2.56.  Let me check under the couch cushions, and I might be able to sweeten that even more!

And…that’s all from me for this go-round.  Thank you all for your indulgence and for being a great audience.  Your contributions make this site what it is.  And please, a warm round of applause for Epicus Doomus, who takes over the center seat starting Monday.  Excelsior!

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Stranded in a Limousine

“First time in a limo, Ruby?” “In a limo this small.” How squicky is today’s strip? Only when Chester’s tiny Town Car pulls up to the gates of his mansion does Ruby realize that they’ve taken a detour. Rather than just explain his “reason for stopping here first” (preferably before they get there), Chester turns even more creepy than usual, sitting thisclose to Ruby in what is supposed to be a big car. The sight of his O.J.-like black gloves do nothing to put her at ease.

spacemanspiff85
February 17, 2020 at 12:59 am
I really wonder if Batiuk overheard something about Me Too in the news about a year ago and thought “Inappropriate workplace advances? I bet I can get a week’s worth of strips out of that!” and thus this strip was born.

There are tons of ways that TB could have wrought a chuckle out of this setup without invoking #MeToo. But he goes there, naturally, and in the most hamfisted way imaginable: as if  the #MeToo movement had a switchboard with operators standing by to take your call.

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Possibly nothing… interesting at all is going on here

Since we went over how what Cayla claims in today’s strip is in no way true back in Tuesday’s post, I have little left to say. This strip is almost spectacular in how utterly boring it is.

I don’t think anyone would cry if Les retired two years early. Same goes for a certain cartoonist who is now, in fact, about two years away from a milestone anniversary that some experts speculate may also mark his retirement.

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Perfect Atten-dunce

Hark! Saint Les has revealed his halo in today’s strip. He doesn’t want to miss teaching school to deal with the affairs that arise from being a professional writer. How noble!

Here is a list of strips where Les unremorsefully left his students with a substitute teacher:
January 9, 2011
January 31, 2011
September 25, 2017
October 5, 2017
October 30, 2017
November 14, 1997
May 7, 2018
And these are just the ones I could find in 15 minutes!

But this time… how noble!

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Moore Problems

I’m billytheskink and this is 2020’s first Les Moore story arc. There, you’ve been warned.

I tagged today’s strip with “first world problems”… but even that is far far far too broad a description of any problem that could result from “my friend the movie star is giving us both a free trip to Los Angeles next week.” Cayla seems to have some self-awareness about this, but this is the Act III Funky Winkerbean where Les is a saint, even when he’s whining. We’ll just have to wait a few days to find out what his “righteous” reasoning is.

Also, we will probably add this storyline to the long list of times people in this strip have flown across the country to conduct a meeting that could have been held over the telephone or a videoconference. This seems to happen multiple times a year.

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