Author Archives: spacemanspiff85

Wally’s Not All That Blows

So . . . Lisa still lives, and her and Les have an adopted Hispanic son? The title will still be Lust for Lisa? That all was great? Literally the only thing wrong with it was that Les wrote the script? I know it’s an incredibly pointless question, but I really wonder if Batiuk even thinks about this stuff while he’s writing it, let alone going back and reviewing it once it’s done.

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Mason Wants to Play Les

If there’s one skill Batiuk has, it’s always finding a new rock bottom. It’s like he listened to everyone making fun of the original Lisa’s Story Movie Storyline and his reaction was “Oh yeah, jerks? You think the Lisa worship was bad before? You got sick of Les being idolized years ago? Just you wait, you beady-eyed nitpickers!”
And the dialogue is just hideous here. Mason wants to take a selfie of him wearing what? The idea of playing Les? When exactly did Cindy come up with that idea? If you really don’t want to sleep anytime soon, let’s just assume it was in the bedroom.
“Oh, Mason, I’m getting kind of tired of you dressing up like Starbuck Jones. How about tonight you pretend to be a real hero, Les Moore?”
Honestly that’s probably less sickening than what’s actually going on in this strip. Going back to the comments recently about the incredibly minor role religion plays in this strip, if things keep going the way they’re going we’ll end up with literal Les worship soon.  That’s essentially where we are now.  Tomorrow could just be a single panel of Mason and Cindy bowing before Les and kissing his feet and it wouldn’t seem out of place at all.

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As An Actor, I Suck

Panel 1 Mason appears to have caught whatever caused Cindy to have Stupid Hair in Act I. I would much rather focus on that than Mason apparently saying Les is a true hero, and he wants to portray him. “You made the big time after your wife died, you’re a real hero, Les!”.  What the hell has Les ever done that’s close to heroic?  Not curling up in a ball and dying after Lisa died?  People do that every damn day and they do it in a far less pretentious way than Les.

My money is even more on Cindy portraying Lisa now, since I can totally see Mason saying that’ll add to the “realism” of the movie.

The stupid Bull storyline and interview are really starting to seem like massive baiting. “I’ll lure them all in with a moving storyline about a trendy topic, and as soon as they’re hooked, I’ll move on to Les Moore, the Greatest American Hero!”. Seriously though, has someone related to this blog done something to Batiuk, or hacked his computer, and taken over the writing of this strip? Because about the only explanation for any of this is someone really wants to make the writer look like an obnoxious ass.

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This Strip Could Use More Lisa

Today’s strip wasn’t yet available for preview. I have a feeling it’ll be the greatest Funky Winkerbean ever though, when Mason tells Les he’s totally kidding about doing a Lisa’s Story movie, Lisa was boring and Lisa’s Story is terrible, and he’s actually doing a Bull movie and is just giving Les a heads-up that there’s a full thirty minutes of him getting beat up and wetting himself.
Who am I kidding, we won’t get anything near that good. We’ll probably get Les dancing gleefully on the table in Montoni’s while Mason throws $100 bills at him and Cindy tells Les she should’ve married him instead of Mason.

Oh hey, look at that, the title character of this strip and his wife died, totally off panel.  I wonder if it was a murder-suicide pact after their grief over losing Bull.  Or maybe their grief over hearing there was going to be more “Lisa’s Story”.  Or maybe just a bizarre artistic choice or coloring error that would make an already poor follow-up to last Sunday even stranger.

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Cindy Wants Mason and Les to Do It

What on earth is the right way to do Lisa’s Story? True to life, where it just focuses on Les’s reaction to everything, and skips right over the really difficult and interesting part of how he adjusts to life without her? Or focusing on the ridiculous medical paperwork mishap that anyone who saw it in a movie (or a comic) would say is just laughably bad writing?
Actually I think it’s pretty clear what “the right way” means. Lisa Must Die. Because serious art requires beloved characters to die in a very serious, very profound way. Except Bull. Bull you just knock off as quick as possible so you can get to Lisa. Again.
That “Cindy…?” is hilarious to me.  “Formerly hot girl I used to stare at in high school and have no real meaningful relationship with, do you think I should make this beg life decision?  Because yours is the only opinion that matters to me, way way more than my secondary wife’s.”

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Crap Is On The Other Side Of This Door

I had no idea playing the lead in one (or is two now?) sci-fi movies opens enough doors for you where you can just create movies by yourself. And this is another in the long tradition of Batiuk using “witty” or “funny” sayings that really make no sense, apart from not being funny at all. The doors are already opened, Les. I don’t think it matters what’s on the other side.
Do you think that’s still Cindy there, or just a blonde wig on a stick? They’d both work about as well in their job of sitting quietly while the menfolk handle business, which is all Cindy has done since Les showed up.

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Finally, We’re Getting More Lisa

Well, this is really nice of Batiuk. Having killed off that dumb sporto Bull, he can get back to what his audience really wants-more Lisa. And not just Lisa, but Lisa’s Story, the most amazing and significant cultural product humanity has yet produced. And not just Lisa’s Story, but Lisa’s Story: The Movie, something that has never been portrayed in this strip before.  It’s definitely good he rushed through that whole Very Serious Topical and Prestigious Storyline About CTE for this.  I bet after doing Lisa’s Story 2.0 in the form of Bull’s death, Batiuk figured he might as well just go back to his favorite plot, yet again.
As horrible as this storyline is, I’m slightly excited that something might actually be happening in this strip. But realistically, what we’re probably going to get is lots of strips with one panel of Les sitting at this booth with Cindy and Mason, and two reprinted Lisa panels from 20 years ago. And speaking of horrible, does Les really just keep a pen in his shirt pocket in case people ask him for an autograph? Also, I find it extremely hard to believe he didn’t sign that copy before he gave it to Mason-“To my bent nail buddy-you’re an actor, so keep doing that acting thing!”. But then maybe Mason didn’t pay enough for an autographed copy.

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