Author Archives: spacemanspiff85

The Gospel According To Stan

The moment we’ve all waited for for years is finally here! No, not the wedding, I mean Funky Winkerbean characters talking about comics.
So according to Marvel, Stan’s Soapbox ended in 1980. I really have no idea how old anyone in this strip is supposed to be, but I’m guessing Rocky and Cory are around their mid-twenties to early thirties. So that means in their wedding vows they’re quoting something that ran in comics either two or three decades before they were born. Even if Batiuk has to indulge his compulsion to make every single one of his character’s life revolve around comics, would it have been that hard to find something that would make sense for these two people? Were they only allowed to read twenty and thirty year old comics as children? I am grateful they’re not cosplaying, at least.
I tried searching for this full quote, and I couldn’t find it. The passage I did find ends with the line in the first panel, and I couldn’t find anything at all related to Stan Lee when I searched the other lines. So I’m really not sure if only the first line (which is from a discussion of not having your characters be pure good or pure evil) is from Lee, or the other lines are as well and just somehow aren’t anywhere online.
I do kind of like Crazy Harry’s totally unwarranted smug expression here. Like it’s the coolest thing in the world that someone is quoting Stan Lee in their wedding vows. And does Donna honestly expect him to be able to recognize random uncited quotes from scriptures? Because there is nothing at all in Harry’s background that would make me thing he could do that at all.
I really don’t think this is a great selection to read for your vows. Basically the only time I hear the phrase “rainbow bridge” is referring to a pet dying. And nirvana is commonly interpreted as the end of rebirth and existence itself. Never mind, it’s actually perfect for this strip. All that’s missing is a Lisa quote and a falling leaf.
And on the subject of not doing things alone, Epicus Doomus will be taking over tomorrow!

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Funky Likes Food

Who cares about my son getting married, I’m hungry!“. Get it, everyone? Funky is fat, and apparently doesn’t give a crap about his family. Did Batiuk just skip right over the actual ceremony, or is everyone just posing for the photos beforehand? If that’s the case, then Funky isn’t eating any time soon.
I really hope Funky is blurting this all out really, really loudly, just stealing all the focus onto himself. I also like that Holly ask to ask for clarification about Funky’s comment, rather than just assuming the wedding is his dream come true, like any rational person would.

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Missing the Bullseye

So, did Donna just now notice that they didn’t bring a gift? Did she just tell Crazy Harry that Rocky and Cory had a registry at “Bullseye” (it’s so strange the brand names that Batiuk is okay mentioning) and then never follow up again? When they were getting ready to leave, nobody thought to mention “Hey, do you have the gift?”. I’m not really sure what about Crazy Harry makes him seem like the guy you’d rely on to shop for a wedding gift.
This does make it day four of the two weeks (so far) in this wedding arc where the gag is all about modern technology. At least it’s not comic books again. I’m a little shocked the gag isn’t just “Hey, I brought them something better- a copy of the Superman and Lois Lane wedding special!”.
It’s amusing how on Monday Harry totally forgot smartphones were a thing, and now he’s casually placing same day wedding gift orders.  I also find it really, really hard to believe that same-day delivery is available in a town like Westview. I do hope that the delivery person arrives right in the middle of the exchanging of vows, loudly asking where Crazy Harry is.

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Cory is Ex-Interesting

Oh, hey, Maybe-Summer speaks again. I kind of hope that isn’t actually Summer, just because it would be hilarious to me that someone who sort of looks like Summer has had more lines in two days than actual Summer has had in probably five years.
And look, it’s Maddie! Or possibly a random redhead, who knows. What’s funny is that she’s at this wedding but apparently doesn’t know the couple was in the military, which is one of the two character traits they have anymore.
I’m also not sure what the two figures in the first panel are for, since they sure don’t seem to be favors. The little green army men are at each setting and seem to be the favors. It looks more like a centerpiece or cake topper, which makes it extra funny, to me at least, that both of the figures are apparently male. There are female G.I. Joes, after all. It maybe would’ve been nice to have one of them be used, since the bride served in the army and all. Heck, he could’ve had Rocky talk about how she was inspired as a child by one of the female G.I. Joes. But that would’ve taken a little more effort than apparently Rocky’s character is worth.

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Unification Disgrace

Oh yay, comic books, it’s been so long since they’ve been mentioned in this strip that I really missed it. And of course Rocky is a massive comic nerd, since that’s the other personality trait she has other than “was in the army”.  If someone told Batiuk he had to write a character, story or even just a strip or just a single wedding that didn’t have anything to do with comics, I’m pretty sure you’d hear the sound of several fuses in his head blow and smoke would start pouring out his ears, because I do not think he’s capable of even considering that anymore.
I just Googled “‘unification display’+wedding” because I’d never heard of them before and wondered if this was something common that I just hadn’t heard of, but I really don’t think so. It only returned three results and none are remotely like what’s being portrayed here. Even less restrictive searches returned nothing close, so I really don’t think this is a thing. What I think happened is Batiuk thought it was hilarious/touching to have two people merge their comic collections and made up the concept of a “unification display” because I guess he couldn’t just have someone point and say “hey look, they combined their comic books!”. (And have them sitting out in the open in the sun where anyone can swipe one).
Is that supposed to be Summer on the right? I can’t really imagine who else it would be, even though it doesn’t look at all like Summer, and she’s not wearing a hoodie.
This is also yet another example of Batiuk’s need to have an extra line after the “punchline” of the strip. Nothing is added by having maybe-Summer tell us it’s cool and sweet. It’s like Batiuk doesn’t think the readers will be able to tell how they’re supposed to react to or feel about a joke without literally being told.

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Forgetful Harry

I’m always a little amused whenever Crazy Harry is supposed to be a tech person, mostly because I don’t think someone who goes on a rant about iTunes suggesting music you might like can really call themselves “techy” at all. This also makes a full third of the wedding arc strips so far just being about “technology has changed since I was a kid”. I know writing isn’t as easy as it looks, but I would a wedding story would almost write itself and you wouldn’t need to pad it out with filler like “I forgot cell phones exist” or “why couldn’t we have stopped at e-mail?”. (If all of Batiuk’s “technology confuses and frightens me” strip were collected and published, how big of a book do you think it would be? Lilian from Crankshaft would need multiple chapters).
I know Crazy Harry is crazy and all, but would anyone go to a wedding as a guest and then wander over to the guy being paid to do the music and sound and offer to help? It’s his job, Crazy, what do you really think you’re going to be able to contribute? Other than playing the theme to the Adam West Batman series and Superman: The Movie on repeat.

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Funky Weddingbean

I guess we’re now about to have the Rhodes-Winkerbean Wedding? Even though it was just Wedding Planning Weekend? Unless there has been a massive time jump, that doesn’t make a lot of sense. I’m pretty sure even the smallest weddings are planned farther in advance than the weekend before. Although in this strip, probably all the planning involved is checking to make sure the Westview Gazebo is available and maybe reserving a few tables at Montoni’s (although I doubt it’s necessary, it’s not like the place is packed).
I’ve had the impression that there’s nothing more in Rocky’s backstory than “was in the Army”, and today’s strip really confirms that. Apparently the only outfit she has ever worn is camo. I mean, yes, I know anyone in the military gets used to dressing a certain way, but literally no other information about Rocky has ever been provided other than “met Cory in the Army”.

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Unfiltered Funky

Well, I guess Funky’s okay after being caught au naturel by his soon to be daughter-in-law. Apparently something interesting happened this weekend worth taking pictures of, and we missed that, and got to see a lot more of Funky than we wanted instead.
I do love strips like this, where the writer is referencing modern technology but really doesn’t seem to know how it works. Apparently this filter only took effect once the photo was actually posted on Instagram, and Funky never noticed it when he took the picture or when was selecting it to upload. It is more amusing than most gags in this strip, which is a nice change. And I’m very glad we didn’t get a sideways single panel repeat of the shower scene.
I do think it says a lot about this strip that in a storyline about two young people getting married, the focus here is on two old people trying to use technology. Which makes it the second day this week where the focus is on old people and technology.

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Sweet Dreams, Rocky

This comic has a long tradition of inappropriate smirks that don’t fit their context, at all, and Cory’s in the third panel really fits in with that. I’m really not sure what it’s supposed to mean. Is it “haha, my wife is making a big deal over nothing at all, unexpected nudity is no big deal”, or “hahaha, she’ll never be able to sleep again, so I guess I’ll be getting lucky every single night, thanks Dad!”? Be careful with that smirking, Cory. The way your strip is drawn, you’re going to look exactly like Funky in no more than 5-10 years.
Honestly, instead of asking if Rocky’s okay, Cory should really be concerned about Funky. Given the look of terror on his face yesterday, I’d say there’s a really good chance he’s in the middle of a heart attack right now.

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Full Frontal Funky

Hello everyone, and welcome to the image that is going to haunt your nightmares for the rest of your life!
Here we are again with another classic sitcom trope, where one person walks in on someone else in the shower when they’re visiting their house. I’m extremely confused about the setup here, because every single time I’ve seen this elsewhere, one person things their loved one is in the shower and walks in to surprise them, and then they get surprised.
But here, apparently Rocky had no clue at all someone else was using the shower? I’m not sure exactly how big the Winkerbean house is supposed to be, but in every house I’ve lived in, you can hear it when someone is showering. Somehow Rocky didn’t hear that at all, and didn’t think it was odd that the door was closed, and didn’t think of knocking first.
This really has be a new low for the art. I wonder if it was Ayers’ idea to prominently highlight Funky’s crack and part of each cheek, or if that was in Batiuk’s directions? Either way I’m deeply creeped out.

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