Oh, hey, wow, apparently Wally was a soldier or something? I didn’t know, there are so many facets to his character, I must’ve overlooked that. And apparently two (or maybe one insane) off-screen people are talking about Wally? I’m guessing it’s Ghost Lisa, and Ghost Comic Guy who died and left Darrin that crap. Not sure why they’re discussing Wally, but whatever, Lisa was always pretty boring. I foresee Adeela putting up a sign “Reserved: Struggling Muslim Immigrant”, and Les (he still works there right?) putting up a “Reserved: Tragic, Book-Inspiring Cancer Victim” sign and then there’s no parking for anybody.
Thanks for putting up with me. Coming up tomorrow, the reins will be in the hands of either TFHackett or Batiuk himself, I forget which. So we’re either in store for hilarious, insightful commentary or eye-searing profanity, insults, nit-picking accusations and Flash back issue reviews.
Hey, guess what! Bull has a non-ethnic daughter! She’s a chick, and she once kicked a football! Crazy, huh? I can’t remember her name though, because she’s incredibly worthless and unimportant, even for a Funky Winkerbean character, which is saying something. Also, that isn’t the only championship team Bull coached, but given how rarely Summer appears anymore I have a feeling Bull doesn’t remember that.
You know what would’ve been the icing on the cake of this hideous week? If the third panel was Bull putting his arm around Nameless Son-In-Law, because Bull’s brain is mush and he forgot his own daughter was his kicker.
Yeah, Batiuk totally does not get sports at all. I don’t think this is how Hall of Fame introductions go. Like, shouldn’t someone on the board of the Hall of Fame actually do the welcoming? Not just the guy who just told Bull he was going to give a speech?
I get this is probably supposed to come off like “aw, Bull and Buck are friends, and like each other”, but boy does it not come off that way. A long, no doubt awkward hug with a guy who played for your arch-rival-where are Bull’s former teammates who should be booing him right now? Probably all dead, but this is still awkward and weird, especially with Buck telling Bull he’s had enough, on a stage in front of the crowd.
Artistically speaking, something doesn’t seem right about the last panel. Bull’s hands are around Buck’s arms, when in the panel before they’re wrapped completely around Buck’s back. So I guess Buck is trying to back away from Bull? Maybe this is a stealth #MeToo story.
The creepiest part of this is Bull’s eyes in the third panel, which are no doubt staring right into Buck’s.
I’m sure Batiuk was running the imaginary bases after the five seconds it took him to write out this strip. Which is ironic considering how he’s crapping all over athletes and sports itself here. I guess sports are cool when you do them in your head after writing incredibly trite dialogue.
“Sports isn’t real life, it’s just playing” does not seem like a good thing to be saying when you’re honoring a guy for his sports accomplishments. Like, I get his point, but when this is the focus of Bull’s induction speech it really makes you wonder, again, why the hell he’s even being inducted. “All that silly stuff Bull did to get into your silly Hall of Fame, that’s just playing. Sitting around his basement now, that’s real life”.
For not the first time this week I’m totally baffled as to what Bull has done that’s supposed to be damn inspiring. Also, the strip that more often than not is just a vehicle for Batiuk’s comic daydreams really shouldn’t be criticizing anything anyone else does as “just playing”.
By far the best part of the strip is the hilarious handwritten “Bushka Family” sign. Not nearly as good is how Jinx looks. I really don’t think it’s a good idea to draw Asian characters with their eyes slanted and closed, especially when they’re wearing glasses.
“To sum it up, Bull, you inspired me when I had my pants off. I’m so happy we can’t quit each other. I’m less happy about this creepy stranger glaring at me from underneath that bush, but you can’t win them all, I guess. Boy, you sure would know a thing or two about that, eh, buddy?”
Also apparently spending all your time in your basement watching TV and reading the sports section while having no human contact apart from your wife and a random stranger who showed up one day is “not quitting” by this strip’s standards. Which, I mean, Bull hasn’t just ended it all, which really actually is inspirational for Batiuk.
And you can totally take this as “Bull was a moron who didn’t know what the word meant, and he still is because of the CTE ruining his brain”, which is a fun spin on it.
I don’t think I’ve seen too many more blatant examples of “sporto talk” as written by someone who never played sports and isn’t that familiar with them. “Shared our competition”? It really seems like he’s leading into “. . . but we also shared a forbidden love that we had to hide, from both the world, and ourselves. What’s that, Bull? You don’t remember that? Oh, that’s probably because of the CTE, right, pal?”.
And of course the only worthwhile thing about Bull is his Very Serious Condition. I’ve got to assume his induction has nothing do with his athletic accomplishments, but rather the terrible thing that happened to him. Because that’s the only reason Batiuk cares about him.
“When I told Bull I was going to introduce him, it really showed what a crappy friend I am, just making major decisions for Bull and not even giving him any input. I mean, I am his friend, right? That’s the word for a guy who just starts showing up at your house after you get CTE and spends a lot of one-on-one time with your wife? Where’s that dweeby English teacher whose annoying wife died, maybe he can tell his what the right word for that is. Oh, right, he didn’t show up, because apparently I’m the only one in Bull’s life who gives a crap about him. Like when I lied to him to make him think he won a game he actually lost. Gosh, good thing that never came up in any awkward situation later on.”