Tag Archives: Komix Korner

Cot In The Middle With You

Link To Today’s Snore

And today we learn way, way too much about John and Becky Howard’s unholy union. She hasn’t seemed all that “intense” this week, although she WAS smirking a lot, so who knows? I do like Crazy’s expression in panel three though, it’s sort of a mix between mild shock and slight disgust, which is totally appropriate given the subject matter. I assume that Dinkle also has a cot in the band room so he can tell Becky how to sleep and when to wake up, otherwise how would she know?

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The Little Lines Mean Excitement.

Link to Today’s Comic.

Sorry for the late post again tonight, connection issues continue.

Funny how in that tux Crazy starts to look like the South Bend Shovel Slayer from Home Alone.

It’s strange that the only way Batiuk has left to show Crazy being crazy is shouting and over-exuberance, when in the old days, from what I’ve seen, it was actually crazy ideas…being presented by a laid-back pseudo-stoner.

Of course DSH isn’t going to Comic Con again. He’s boring as mud. His original point was a vessel for Batiuk’s comic fandom, but now that comic fandom is the default for the male Westviewian, DSH has been rendered superfluous, only to show up now and then behind the counter in the comic shop, like a bartender in a city of drunks. I doubt Tom even knows why the storyline about DSH being a consultant on the Starbuck movies fizzled, but he at least subconsciously realizes that this poor sad sack is not needed to be the nearly mute sidekick of a sidekick parroting whatever inane reactions to the Crazy Harry Craziness that Les or Cayla could just as well spout.

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Connection Issues

Link to Today’s Comic.

Internet is down at my apartment. So working off of my friend’s phone turned into the world’s coldest slowest hotspot. So I’ll keep this short.

All I will say is that it is very rude of Les to walk in on Harry and DSH when they’re trying on tuxes and rehearsing their wedding vows. And I had no idea DSH had left the-one-armed bandit, and Harry had divorced Mrs. Eliminator. But then again, when was the last time we saw either of them with their ‘wives’.

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Don’t Eat the ‘Magical’ ‘Pepperoni’.

Today’s strip is finally up.

“Waterlogged comics! Mixed with moldy discarded pizza toppings! And mildew! That’s our hero.”

Darin stares blankly at Pete.

“It emerges from the basement: a sentient mass in the vague shape of a man, but grotesque and lumpy. An abomination of pulped paper, and smeared three-color inks, held together by black mold and marinara.”

Darin doesn’t speak.

“But there’s this beautiful woman, see and she is entranced by his doughy nature, his strange charms. Even though they can’t be together in a traditional sense, she is willing to do anything, try anything, to feel in every cell of her being the deeper spiritual connection pulsing between the flawless woman and the eldritch Comicmuck Thing! All in a homage to Swamp Thing 34! You know, Alan Moore? Rite of Spring?

Darin reluctantly puts his pencil to paper… “Okay Pete, if you’re sure you’re okay with us using your love life that way.”

 

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Does This Spell The End?

Having been informed in today’s strip that the name of his newfound comic book company is already trademarked, Chester decides to employ the strategy of phonetic misspelling that made the TurboGrafx-16 the number one name in video games.

I find this strip to be fairly discordant because of the use of “Grandpa Google” combined with the revelation that an Atomic Comics already once existed. First, “Grandpa Google”… please stop trying to either make this a thing people say or pretend that it already is a thing people say. It is not and it never will be. However, stupid as it is, I can allow that it is some kind of in-universe slang. But that brings in the second point of discord. If this is a fictional universe in which people say “Grandpa Google” without being blackmailed then why does “Atomic Comics” have to be an unusable trademark? Skirting a real-life trademark is a spectacularly uninteresting story arc, not to mention that “Atomik Komix” isn’t likely to stave off a lawsuit that “Atomic Comics” would invite anyways. This makes the set up of The Phantom Menace look like Macbeth.

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Another Saturday Night and I Ain’t Got No Preview

Link to today’s strip.

Well, so far Pete’s learned absolutely nothing of value from John, which isn’t even a little bit surprising.  I’m guessing that in today’s episode we learn even less, but as it wasn’t available for preview, we can all be disappointed together.

By the way, did any of you notice that Chester has a mutant super-power?  I’m a bit red-faced that I only recently saw this.  Observe:

He has the power to hitchhike whenever he wants!

Actually, let’s improve this.

Much, much better.

A couple of days ago, commentor Charles asked this:

“And why does it always have to be someone like Crankshaft and his daughter? I swear to God when I first made the observation that “There are 200 people in the Funkyverse and they’re all within two degrees of separation” I was joking.”

Many others have asked the same.  (And it’s almost always Crankshaft characters appearing in Funky Winkerbean, rarely the reverse–though I do remember Les showing up the used bookstore.  Les Moore?  Double-yuck!)

My own theory is that Tom Batiuk is trying to create some kind of Funky Winkerbean Extended Universe; the idea being that someone reading this would learn of Crankshaft and think, “Wait, there’s MORE like this?  Wow, I have to find that!”

Which is exactly the reaction he gets nowadays.  Oh, except the word “find” is replaced by “avoid.”

 

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The Weed of Crime Bears Bitter…Hey Wait a Minute!

Link to today’s strip.

Ah, so finally we know why Chester the Chiseller is considered pure, unadulterated evil.

He’s a success.

Why, the blackguard!  How dare he!

If ever there was a “victimless crime,” this sure fits the definition.  John said yesterday that Chester’s pilfering didn’t impact the store to any noticeable degree, so I don’t see any high crimes and misdemeanors here.  And I’d almost be willing to bet that Chester made sure he did a lot of business with Danford, just to “show” his appreciation.

My question is this:  in order to sell comics for “an incredible sum of money,” I would assume that Chester would have to have a lot of them, and they’d be more valuable if they were old.  How many years did he sweep that floor?  If he took ten a month (five to sell, five to his own collection), his yearly take would be sixty, and after ten years he’d have six hundred.  That’s a lot of sweeping.

Secondly, how long does it take for a comic to become valuable?  What would, say, Fantastic Four #1 or Amazing Fantasy #15 be worth ten years later in 1972 (again assuming a ten-year career in floor maintenance)?  “An incredible sum of money”?  Perhaps–but I’m thinking that any Batom comic wouldn’t worth nearly as much, fifty years after publication, except if the bathroom was out of toilet paper.

Things I Like Dept:  Pete’s face in panel one is perfect.  “What?  Are you still talking?  I’m trying to read, pal.”  This is probably the only time I’ve liked Pete at all.

And look at Chester, too–happily enjoying ice cream while reading a comic book.  First of all, the book isn’t sealed away, as I would suspect all his books to be, but out to be enjoyed. Given his reaction to Holly’s opening a sealed book, this is something I would not suspect.  I would have thought Tom Batiuk would draw Chester admiring his collection through glass cabinets and pointedly not having fun; maybe the new guy slipped up.

Secondly, he’s going to eat ice cream in close proximity to a comic book.  I have a feeling that John, Harry, Pete or Tom Batiuk would be shrieking if anyone brought ice cream into the Korner.  “Get that out of here!  What if it drips on one of the books!”  And the offender’s face would turn ghostly white.   Oh my God, I almost ruined a comic book!

How rare indeed it is to see someone enjoying himself.  Happily and non-cynically, with not a smirk to be seen.  It’s refreshing.

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