Tag Archives: Komix Korner


Both Mason Jarre and Cliff Anger have separately asked me to find a minister for just after the premiere.” If you’re gonna “tell, not show,” Mr. Batiuk, couldn’t you at least do it using less unwieldy sentences? So assuming that Mason and Cliff don’t intend to marry each other, each man holds matrimony in enough esteem to require a minister to perform the ceremony. But neither man has a problem with delegating the task of finding a clergyman to Pete. Guess this falls under Pete’s “advance work” duties. But that’s not the gag here, folks: the gag is that John is shitting eggrolls over the news that the film’s male leads have (separately!) decided to wed their betrothed after the premiere.



Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Porous Another One

I’ve had so much fun doing this. It’s like being a little comic book company…I’m going back and I’m going to dip into some of the other characters I created in the fifth grade…I’m going to resurrect them and put them to good use in the strip. I’ll tell you about one. I have a character, The Amazing Mister Sponge…

Tom Batiuk, 2014

A superhero with a name like “The Amazing Mister Sponge” gives us a good idea why the “big” comic book companies gave the air to young Thomas Martin Batiuk. I do like the name “Killjoy” for a villainous evil clown; but I wouldn’t need “porifera vision” to discern a frowning clown with a gangsta teardrop tattoo, toting a huge rifle, to be a criminal.

Thinking caps on, chums...
Speaking of superheroes, the only person I’ve ever heard use “chum” as a form of address is Adam West’s Batman, may he rest in peace. The superhero theme allows Rick Burchett to work a little more in his element in the first two panels. But he’s taken some liberties with the bricks in panel 3–they’re not consistent at all–and he’s drawn Bernie to resemble a bespectacled 8-year-old.

So much for my two-week turn in the barrel! Tune in tomorrow when beckoningchasm takes over for a spell.


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

The Lestitute

Link to today’s strip.

When Bernie first appeared in the strip, my recollection is that he was a fairly well-adjusted kid who refused to be intimidated by Chullo’s newfound bullying powers.  Since then, he’s joined the school’s newscast group and chess club, and (of course, like everyone other than the hated sportos) become a member of the band.  Despite his interest in comic books, he seemed like a normal, happy kid.

Alas, those days are over now.  It sure looks to me like he’s being groomed to be the new Les.  You know, the guy who only has two Facebook friends–because he’s just too good for anyone else to really appreciate him on his own level.  The sneer on his face in that last panel really sells it.

But maybe not.  Maybe he’s just being shown as a schmuck who no one likes.  Giving him a big push would be a lot of work on a certain cartoonist’s behalf, and that cartoonist just doesn’t seem up to that task anymore.  Even just a few years ago, there were a whole bunch of student characters.  Then that got whittled down to Chullo, Glasses and Wedgman.  And then that got whittled down to Bernie and some pre-existing characters ported over from Crankshaft…all of whom rarely appear anyway.

Still, aside from the Crankshaft Twins, I think he’s the only new student who even has a name.  The one guy who dissed Harry Dinkle a few days ago makes (I think) a third appearance, and he’s not been given a name.  I think from now on I’ll call him Thatsnought Hewmore.



Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

There You Go Again

Leaving meaningless oil paintings behind in the dilapidated shacks that they deserve to be housed in, today’s strip brings us back to art’s purest and most meaningful form and in its most hallowed of temples…

Well no wonder DSH couldn’t cover his rent back in 2010, he hates the actual function of his business. That 2010 story seems especially relevant to this one, as Funky covered DSH’s rent (and some of his own expenses) by doing exactly what DSH had apparently been failing to do, sell comic books. Now we know that he can hardly bear to part with the things that his business is supposed to part with.

I do not recall this “McKenzie Collection” but I assume it has something to do with Crankshaft’s elderly neighbor. I’d try to track down more info but I’m researched out right now, sorry.

Thanks for sticking with us through the last month, which included a couple of the most asinine and one of the funkiest strangest weeks in recent Funky memory. Sosf David O will be your driver starting next week, and should do a better job steering around the potholes than I did… and there WILL be p(l)otholes.


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Chess Flub

Link to today’s strip

Oh, because they both include the word “club”. I get it. I mean hey, I’ll take Bernie over Les, Lisa and Darin any day of the week but still, this is a really weak (and not especially timely) gag.

Speaking of Dick Facey, the header seems to indicate that we’re in for at least a week of more Lisa wallowing, just what absolutely no one was clamoring for. Believe me, I’ll have plenty to say about that, as nothing enrages me more than Batiuk’s pathetic Lisa fetish does. That pic is nauseating beyond words, just like everything else involving BanTom’s imaginary girlfriend. Stay tuned as billytheskink takes over and bravely leads us through Tomban’s latest deranged Lisa fantasy! Stay Funky and keep that barf pail handy!!


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Profiles In Nerdage

I am obligated to link to today’s strip, but I cannot in good conscience recommend reading it.

Did we really spend three days watching Lefty screw with DSH just so she could ultimately call Comic-Con “nerd prom” and smirk? Three days, nine panels, four sleeve pins, and dozens of bricks… all for “nerd prom” and a smirk.

DSH and Crazy were not nearly this excited about going to Comic-Con back when they went in 2014. In fact they invited Holly to come along on a whim and acted as if they went quite often, if not every year. So what’s with this panel 3 scene?

I dare say that TB has ruined the Electric Company for me…
Cr... Ap... Crap!


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Brick Fac-sad

DSH sweats!
Lefty grows a unibrow!
Crazy continues the week in silence!
This, bricks, and more(tar)…
Only in today’s installment of Funky Winkerbean.

I have to hand it to Becky here (go ahead and boo), she’s really got John wrapped around her finger… extorting him with a sentence and a look as if she was an infamous Mafioso, all while looking like Pavel Chekov in a red windbreaker.

Cold-blooded stuff. I think we now know who was responsible for Kevin, DSH’s short and good-natured friend and employee, “leaving” Komix Korner.


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky