Tag Archives: Jessica

Imaginationbland

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“You know how little kids sometimes have imaginary friends? Well, I thought it’d be very funny if a small child’s imaginary friend ditched him…ON CHRISTMAS! Imagine him there, sitting under the tree all upset…tee hee hee!”

“Tom, I told you you’ve gotta crack the window when you’re working with airplane glue!”

As much as I’ve grown to dislike little baby Skyler I can’t help but feel sorry for the little dolt after this one. His moronic parents played fast and loose with his early development as they ran around filming and drawing things and now the chickens have come home to roost, as they say. In his desperate attempt to shoehorn in a woefully awful wordplay-based gag, BatYuck has inadvertently painted a heartbreaking story about a sad, troubled little boy who’s obviously confused and baffled by this sudden burst of attention from his previously disinterested parents.

But man, what a shitty woefully awful wordplay-based gag it is, huh? “Ghosted” by his “imaginary friend”…duh. I wonder how long he’s had that one boinging around in that modestly sincere head of his. And what compelled him to use THIS as a Christmas strip? This little Skyler mini-arc is downright dismal and not in a hilarious “For Better Or For Worse” way but an Act III FW way, which is much worse.

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Wordplay Begins In The Home

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Awww, little baby Skyler is engaging in stupid wordplay just like his dad! Before you know it he’ll be all wryed up and totally powerless against the inexorable miseries of the universe, just like his dad. Although to be fair, this is BARELY wordplay and more like a really bad gag BatYap used to kill day 359, but nevertheless.

That Godzilla doll is really freaking me out, as is Jessica’s malevolent smirk, which in my opinion seems like a very strange and ill-suited reaction. No wonder Skyler is so troubled. His mom abandoning him to film Cliff Anger talking must have really scarred the kid. Although in fairness that would probably scar anyone, even those of us who didn’t grow up over a pizzeria.

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Merry Christmas From SoSF!

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Merry Christmas and/or Happy Holiday Greetings Of Choice from your pals at SoSF! Your hilarious comments are the blood that oils the gears of snark! It’d all be nothing without you.

Special thanks to Team SoSF, your talents and witticisms are the engine that turns those aforementioned bloody snarking gears. Without you it’d just be two increasingly desperate souls trying to tell the world about the daily atrocities taking place in the funny pages. Here’s hoping that 2020 spares you those annoying “unavailable” weeks and those even more annoying ten week “Lisa’s Story” arcs as well. It’d all be nothing without you.

Leave it to BatWrite to turn little baby Skyler into a temperamental churlish little jerk on Christmas morning. No happiness, no joy, no basking in Santa’s bounty, just anger and greed. So typical of These Kids Today. I mean OK, deciding to not write jokes every day anymore and taking the strip in a new serialized dramatic direction is one thing but geez, can’t this guy just stop wallowing in this wry irony-based human misery for even one day?

Skyler holding a dripping slice of pizza and saying “pizza isn’t a present” would have been way, way funnier. BatHam seems to have a real problem with younger male characters. Cory was a surly hoodlum, Owen was a sleazy dirtbag, Cody was a weird pervert, Bernie is all gross and weird, Rachel’s kid was a cube-headed dolt and now little baby Skyler is an obnoxious little snot too. It’s like it’s a pattern of sorts. It’s almost as if he wants someone to leave his lawn or something.

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Perfectly Gross

More confirmation that this strip has devolved into nothing more than the author’s favorite characters having their wildest dreams fall into their laps today. Given how all we’ve really seen of Darin’s drawing skills is Sophomoric Sightings I don’t think this is really saying much. And I strongly doubt Pete’s writing skills would produce much of a woman, either.
What do you think Jess and Darin are talking about? I think it’s either “Did you know chimpanzees and silent film stars can be part of a murderous love triangle?” or “Wow, your significant other only wears Flash Underoos, too?!”.

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Batiukian Butt Banter

So . . . it took Jess several years (it’s been years, right? it hasn’t just felt like years?) after she finished the documentary about Her Father, John Darling, Who Was Murdered, to realize that the Hollywood Biz Life wasn’t for her? And what exactly did The Biz do to him? He got murdered by a psycho because he was an asshole. I don’t recall that it was The Biz that turned him into an asshole, I’m pretty sure that’s just who he was.

Is it me or does Jess look pretty creepy in this strip? Like I kind of feel that Baituk instructed the artist to make sure he really showcased her “sexiness” or something. And speaking of badly drawn women, when I first read this I really thought Jess had flown back to L.A. already and was talking to Cindy, but no, that’s Mindy. I think. I really cannot keep track of these identically drawn Attractive Young Blondes Batiuk’s been showcasing lately.

Oh, and going back to the topic of assholes, Crankshaft (who had a love/hate relationship with someone literally named Keesterman) apparently talked about buttering asses enough that his granddaughter remembers it fondly, decades later.

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Weak Impact

What are the odds that Skyler still lives with his grandma, even after Jess comes back? I’d say very, very high. If Batiuk still put any effort into this strip, I’d see this resulting into another time jump when Old Lady Jess is berating Skyler about how she threw away a promising Hollywood career to stay home with him and his bum dad Darin who ended up running away to live at the Flash Museum with Pete.

I’m all for women (or men) choosing to spend more time with their families, even if it means career sacrifice, but I really don’t like how this is presented as kind of an either/or thing here.  And she was apparently willing to spend years in Hollywood finishing up a single documentary about her dead dad, but not working for an actual Hollywood production.

And is it just me or does Darin look not quite human in the last panel?

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Darin Blows

Ha. I just spent several minutes Googling what being an assistant cinematographer entails. It doesn’t seem to be a very common job title. The closest listing I could see was just someone posting looking for someone to assist the cinematographer by carrying heavy cases and cameras for them. Which I do think Jess is more qualified to do that than anything involving actual camera work. The actual cinematographer oversees all lighting and cameras for the entire film, so there’s no way Jess is even close to qualified for that.
I do think it’s pretty hilarious that Cindy recommended Jess for that job. Either Mason is doing the hiring, or Cindy just walked on to the set and told the producer to hire Jess, or maybe Buddy Blog is actually making the sequel themselves. None of those would surprise me.
This strip really is kind of amazing, though. Batiuk brings up a dilemma-will Jess take the job?-and resolves in a single panel. I can’t remember the last time he didn’t drag this kind of thing out for days.

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