Tag Archives: Tony

Arrivederci, Sir Tony

Link To Today’s Strip

So Tony came back for two days specifically to a) remind the readers that Wally is finally graduating and b) leave again almost immediately. It’s funny how everyone naturally assumed Tony was in Florida, a situation that needed no further explanation or embellishment, but actually he was right there at Montoni’s the whole time, which of course also meant that he was still seeing Wally regularly and probably would have known all about his upcoming graduation thereby rendering the last two days even more inexplicable. So in just two days BanTom revisited a character no one was clamoring for or talking about and who had no loose plot threads to speak of and created a whole series of new and even stupider questions about that character, questions that can never and will never be resolved or spoken of again. All just to get that “God’s waiting room” gag into the strip. Truly a master crapstman at work.

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Cavalcade Of The Forgotten

Link To Today’s Strip

Holy shit on a shingle, it’s Tony! It’s been YEARS since he’s made an appearance. Ditto the infamous green pitcher. Tony is off to Florida for the winter, as indicated by his staggeringly gaudy retiree shirt, commonly used to establish retirement among adorable old coots. Which begs the question: why does he keep coming back to Ohio if he’s retired? I don’t know but, as I pointed out yesterday, at least it doesn’t involve Les or comic books, so the fact that this conversation makes almost no sense at all is largely irrelevant. Dare I say that as a longtime FW reader I’m actually almost enjoying this daily parade of long neglected characters, as I think everyone’s had their fill of Atomik Komix for the next few decades.

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Hmmph.

Well, I have no idea what’s going on in today’s strip. There’s no preview available, and apparently Comics Kingdom is having some problems with Advance Digital, which hosts a number of newspaper websites like nj.com (New Jersey), masslive.com (Springfield MA), the Cleveland Plain Dealer, and so on. CK just isn’t displaying any of their comics on Advance sites, though rival GO! Comics is doing just fine.

Anyway, Saturday’s strip will eventually appear on comicskingdom.com, the syndicate’s home site. We’ll catch up with the snarking in the morning, and I’ll post an edit then.

Saturday AM Edit:

Ha! Funky’s always busting Tony’s cogliones for having stupid ideas, and today he finds that payback’s a bitch. So what it it probably cost him five hundred dollars to win a hundred-dollar bet? He gets bragging rights and Funky looks like a dumbass on The You Tubes.

And lest we forget, a special award of One Thousand Internets goes to spacemanspiff85, for his prescient comment on the 24th:

That’ll be useful for flying food up to the Comix Corner.

One_thousand_internets

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Flying the friendly skies of Montoni’s

8jtsuooToday’s strip teaches us that there are two things T-Bats knows nothing about. The first is drawing handshakes. Here’s a guy who’s had his doodles in the newspaper for over forty years, and yet whenever two of his characters shake hands, they always look like one of them is blocking a punch from the other. Pro tip, Tom, the fingers wrap around under the wrists.

The other thing of which he’s apparently ignorant is the time it takes to make a decent pizza. If the restaurant is keeping a bunch of pre-made pies in the walk-in, it might be possible to get it through the oven, into a box, and into the sky in under twenty minutes, but that’s not good quality…and they’re trying out an unproven technology to boot. Pretty clever the way Funky has gotten Tony so riled up that this drone thing is practically guaranteed to fail.

I’ve got no idea what the hell Wally is supposed to be doing with that cell phone. He’s been pretty much in his own little world this whole week, so I bet he’s just playing Pokemon Go while those two old fools argue.

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 LATE EDIT: As of this morning, nj.com seems to be having problems displaying today’s strip (at least, none of the machines I’ve used to access it in the past two days show the comic.) So here is an alternate link directly from Comics Kingdom.

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“Anyone who has never made a mistake…

…has never tried anything new.” – Einstein

It’s taken four days to come to the point, but in today’s strip, we’ve finally Batiuked around to it: Funky knows the Pizza Drone is going to fail because all of Tony’s other ideas have failed.

It seems to me that T-Bats really didn’t put a lot of time or effort into Funky’s list.

  • Pizza Fax – There are still pizzerias in my area which accept take-out orders via fax. It started back in the bad old days of pay phones and copper landlines, but because some business still inexplicably insist on using the clunky, slow, and low-resolution fax even in an era with reliable and cheap internet, the service lives on.
  • Pizza on a Stick – Popular at heartland State Fairs, apparently. Just not in Westview.
  • Bucket of Pizza…well, okay, I’ll give him that one.

But I’d venture to say that most of Tony’s ideas have worked out pretty well for him. He immigrated to the US, opened a  successful restaurant which provided him with a good living and a decent retirement (after all, he spends his winters in Florida) and – with the exception of taking on a business partner who holds little respect for him – shows evidence of having made some pretty good decisions over the years.

And notice that none of Tony’s failures were on the scale of nearly bankrupting the company by trying to sell shitty Ohio pizza in New York City, Funky.

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* yawn… ι(´Д`)ノ

 

Oh…sorry… it’s just that today’s strip is more of the same “Wabbit season!  Duck season!” crap between Tony and Funky and it’s, well… not very interesting.

Poor Wally, though. We can just turn the page or (more likely) click away. But he’s stuck there in Westview, the comics version of Purgatory, standing helplessly by in his gaunt and so weary way as the two Morons in Chief discuss using toys to deliver pizzas.

You know what would be cool? If Funky had secretly fallen off the wagon and suddenly started getting the DTs while looking at that stupid drone:

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Tony in the sky, with Pizza

In typical Batom® fashion, today’s strip is nothing but more of yesterday’s scribble – does anyone really need to be told that a “pizza drone” is intended to deliver pizza? Gotta hand it to T-Bats: no one can cram two panels of plot development into four panels so well.

And the more I look at that ridiculous little Guido-headed quad copter, the stupider this idea is. I see the props and landing gear, and a really small box in the middle which probably holds the batteries and control circuitry. Where does the pizza go? Inside that little red box? Maybe Tony’s going to send pizza out one slice at a time.

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