Tag Archives: Tony

The Ladder of Divine Ascent

Link to today’s strip.

Here we have the quintessential “tell, don’t show” strip as everyone stands around marveling at a display of which we, of course, get barely a glimpse. Instead, we get to look at a quintet of imbeciles.

The real treat is panel three, where Tony speeds out of Montoni’s with a huge ladder, that was apparently just sitting around somewhere. Funky looks puzzled, Wally looks at the floor, and Adeela’s face is almost covered by a crucifix! There, that’ll show her! Based on what we can see, she’s either amused or about to throw up.

Holly’s face is that of sheer terror. Tony’s face seems to say “Ha ha, fooled you!” and I think Holly is about to yell to Funky, “Stop him! That grotesque old gnome is stealing our only ladder!

But no, he’s just using one of the non-black Santa hats to plop onto the Montoni’s mascot. Giving us, in the process, another unneeded look at his fat ass. Something tells me that hat won’t survive the first gust that comes along, but at least someone actually tried to do something without bemoaning the oncoming failure.

I will say this: the street in that last panel is very well presented. It looks like it’s wet from freshly melted snow, so good on whoever was responsible for that detail.

And that’s it from me for this go-round. Tune in tomorrow when Epicus Doomus sits in the center seat. See you on the Funway!

16 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Tag – You’re It!

Link to today’s strip.

This is probably more “inside baseball” than you folks need, but WordPress has recently changed the post editor into a near-disastrous model. Everything is hidden, and when it isn’t, it’s nowhere near where it should be.

We used to have a list of all the tags available for a post, so we could pick and choose which ones were appropriate. Now, we have to guess–typing the first three letters will usually bring up something, but not always.

All this is an extremely roundabout way of saying that when Tony showed up on Monday, I typed in “ton” and got not only “Tony” but “Tony’s stupid ideas.” And today’s strip illustrates that perfectly! “Who’s going to feed them” is not the only legitimate question–“Where are they going to go, on the roof, all day and night?” is another good one. “Where do they go after Christmas?” “Who’s paying for this?” There are lots more.

Thank you, Tony’s stupid ideas.

20 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Decryption in Progress

Link to today’s strip.

I have no idea what a “sanctuary pizzeria” is supposed to be. Once again though, we see someone stick their tongue out while doing menial tasks, it looks just as stupid as it did before.

And once again, it’s Montoni’s and Adeela is front and center. Why? Easy.

Adeela is one of two characters in this strip who is to be treated with kid gloves, whose beliefs and thoughts are always to be held in high regard, while everyone else gets kicked in the guts and has to say they like it. She’s here so Batiuk can get awards for “inclusion” and “diversity” and that’s the only reason she’s here at all. Nothing is ever done regarding her character except bringing up her religion, and that’s just so everyone can tiptoe around it.

(Note: I have nothing against “diversity” among characters. But they have to be characters first.)

Well, this strip is never going to win awards, because the person behind the “writing” can never come up with good characters or a convincing scenario that would appeal to anyone. So, yeah, Adeela will be in every Montoni’s strip from now on, because someone has to have an award they’re really desperate to give away, and one of these days that person might read this strip.

There’s one other character who is treated the same way, and that’s Les Moore. If that doesn’t give you incentive to hate Adeela, nothing will.

30 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

The Tony Awards

Link to today’s strip.

For a nice change of pace, everyone in today’s strip looks cheerful. As usual, though, there are no customers to be seen. Not even freeloaders like Harry.

What happened to Adeela in panel two? She was right next to Holly, and now she’s been shunted to the rear of the restaurant. And why is she there? I thought Wally and Adeela were managers who worked different shifts, though I don’t care to remember who had the day and who had the night.

I guess Batiuk feels if she’s not a part of every Montoni’s strip going forward, he’s not going to get any of those diversity awards.

19 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Taking Fred’s Job Away

Link to today’s strip.

First of all, nice ventriloquist’s dummy of Wally in panel one.  If they revive “Tales from the Crypt” you should definitely apply to play the Cryptkeeper.  Secondly, there’s an actual kind-of joke in panel two.  But naturally, Batiuk has to ruin it with panel three with something meaningless yet vaguely depressing.  From what we can see, he has definitely brought the mood down for everyone.

I guess this makes today’s episode a grand slam!  He’s out on that tiny baseball diamond even as we speak!

46 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Yellow Alert: Someone’s Happy

Link to today’s strip.

So, either Wally is just now being hired at Montoni’s, despite all the history to the contrary, or Tom Batiuk thinks “Welcome” means “You’re still working here, in the same position, but now you have a degree.”  And well Tony might add, “A degree you’ll do nothing with, of course, except increase the amount of depression in your life, in that you’re now a dishwasher with a degree.”

I think I’ve figured out a possible reason for Batiuk’s utter lack of continuity:  he hates this strip as much as the rest of the world does, and it’s painful to go back and re-read it.  All he’s doing is pounding them out until that 50th.

I have to say, Funky’s exercise routine has finally paid off.  I don’t think he’s looked this trim in years.  Or maybe Ayers gets paid by the number of fat-asses he has to draw, and Batiuk has a budget in place for 2019.

After thinking about it for awhile (a phrase I hate wasting on Funky Winkerbean) it bothers me the way Tony is drawn.  Based on Wally and Adeela’s elbows, I can sort of see where the tabletop should be, but somehow Tony looks too tall.  So either they’re sitting in kiddie chairs, which would be par for the course for Wally, or Tony is standing on a box.

Why is it that no one involved in the creation of this strip gives a good hot damn about its presentation?

31 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Wot’s Adeela wit you? Eh?

Why is Adeela not excited about graduating from college in today’s strip?
The answer may be undeserving awards-bait… Film at 11.

Thank goodness Tony returned in time to set up this silly transition. I don’t know what we all would have done had Funky had to ask Rachel this rote and rhetorical question. Probably donned sackcloth and ashes…

Well, at least Chuck Ayers doesn’t use wavy panel borders for in-strip transitions from one place to another like TB did. I hate that.

12 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Passing The Batom

Funky’s succession plan is coming together in today’s strip, which is a good thing I think, seeing as he lately can’t remember that Wally already works for him.

Rachel, frankly, should be furious with this nepotism. She has worked at Montoni’s since the Clinton administration, surely she knows nearly everything there is to know about the place. Shouldn’t she be considered for a management position? Is it because she doesn’t have a college degree and Wally is about to receive one? Perhaps that is why Funky ultimately ignored Wally’s request to apply for the manager position that Durwood vacated in 2015.

But Funky had no real qualms about letting Cory and Rocky run Montoni’s back in August, when he and Holly drove to Florida. Cory has no college degree, he joined the military right out of high school (where he struggled) and his only experience at Montoni’s was busing tables and dressing up in a pizza costume. Rocky’s experience is likely similar, sans pizza costume.

This is especially galling because Funky, even armed with his business degree, worked his way up to being co-owner of Montoni’s by starting as… a delivery boy. Rachel facing down Funky’s nepotistic patriarchy is a much better female-focused awards-fishing story arc than last week’s bit with Mindy critiquing comic book character clothing. It is almost amazing that TB didn’t realize it… almost as in not really.  Because comical books.

Also, Cory and Rocky are moving to Seattle after their wedding, as the young people do, so we have that to look forward to come 2022.

16 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

And the Tony goes to…

Tony’s back in today’s strip you all!
TONY! IS! BACK! Ring the bells! Toss the confetti! Kill the fatted calf!

Yes, he’s back! Wearing the same shirt he had on when he left for “God’s waiting room” back in October, no less. And carrying the same suitcase, because… he lives at Montoni’s?

Also, Rachel is handing out invitations A WEEK before Wally’s graduation? Miss Manners ain’t gonna like this… I know I don’t.

12 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Arrivederci, Sir Tony

Link To Today’s Strip

So Tony came back for two days specifically to a) remind the readers that Wally is finally graduating and b) leave again almost immediately. It’s funny how everyone naturally assumed Tony was in Florida, a situation that needed no further explanation or embellishment, but actually he was right there at Montoni’s the whole time, which of course also meant that he was still seeing Wally regularly and probably would have known all about his upcoming graduation thereby rendering the last two days even more inexplicable. So in just two days BanTom revisited a character no one was clamoring for or talking about and who had no loose plot threads to speak of and created a whole series of new and even stupider questions about that character, questions that can never and will never be resolved or spoken of again. All just to get that “God’s waiting room” gag into the strip. Truly a master crapstman at work.

17 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky