Tag Archives: random students

The Autobiography of Malcolm Expy: As told by ComicBookHarriet.

The character we’ve nicknamed Thatsnought Hewmore was first seen August 10, 2016.

Also 1st appearance of cowlick freckles kid, later named Connor.

And now, two thousand one hundred and twenty days later…this boy finally has a name.

He appeared in 68 strips, not counting this week. He spoke 31 lines of dialogue.

And.

At last.

A (first) name.

How do I know all those specific numbers? Uhhhh.

You know how yesterday’s post was kind of short? Today is going to make up for that. You’re all in luck, or out of luck, depending on your views. Because we had a couple rain days last week that kept me out of the fields.

And so, below, in chronological order, is every appearance of the class of 2022.

August 26, 2015. 1st appearance of Bernie Silver. Westview seniors Owen and Cody attempt to bully him. He is nonplussed. The next strip they stop when they realize Bernie has a copy of ‘The Amazing Mr. Sponge’ in his backpack.

August 30, 2015. 1st appearance of Maris Rogers, unnamed. She is presented as the newest in a long line of popular blonds. Les creeps on her as only Les can.

For the most part Owen, Cody, and Alex dominate Westview High School storylines for the next months. Freshmen don’t show up again until…

February 23, 2016. Bernie Silver is reintroduced, Maris Rogers gets her name, and Logan Church’s has her first appearance. Logan was colored white for her first week, before becoming black when next seen in September. She has since been recolored in the Comics Kingdom archives.

Original strip on top, recolor below.

They are all interviewing with Cody, Owen and Les Moore for positions on ‘The Bleat.’ Maris has a blog of make-up tutorials but knows nothing about journalism, Logan has a business blog that ABC news picked up? (The hell?) They all get the spot, and Bernie will, of course, talk about comic books.

February 29, 2016. The aged up Crankshaft Twins, Emily and Amelia, are introduced. And spend a week establishing that Emily is the pink and sunny one, and Amelia is the dark and sassy one. For the first couple weeks, their hair is colored typical-Westview-blonde, but has since been recolored in the Comics Kingdom archives as a strawberry blonde.

This will, of course, remain wildly inconsistent.

The following week, we get another set of Emily and Amelia shenanigans. Including Batuik pulling out an ancient running gag from the 70’s, and the last appearance of quarterback, chain-smoker, and 35-year-old high school student Jarod Posey. Emily and Amelia join ‘The Bleat‘. Amelia eats lunch with SENIORS. Les tries teaching them poetry.

Then we’re back to high school being about the seniors, Owen, Alex, and Cody, and their Starbuck Jones filled graduation.

July 10, 2016. A Sunday Strip where Emily and Amelia play their previously established instruments door to door as a band fundraiser.

August 10, 2016. Malcolm and Connor, and later Emily and Amelia, appear as silent students in a week-long band camp arc where Becky and Dinkle are the only characters to speak.

September 18, 2016. A Sunday Strip where Bernie asks if he can opt out of a quiz. Logan, Maris, and maybe Amelia are in the class.

October 23, 2016. A Sunday Strip where Bernie on ‘The Bleat’ announces Bull Bushka’s retirement. Some students that look like Maris and Malcolm are pictured in class.

January 8, 2017. A Sunday Strip where Bernie hasn’t practiced the Trombone.

March 5, 2017. A Sunday Strip where Bernie leaves chess club to go play games at Komix Korner with Malcolm and Connor.

March 19, 2017. A Sunday Strip where Malcolm and Connor are playing games in Komix Korner.

March 29, 2017. In the middle of a week of Becky/Dinkle gags, a single strip where Dinkle addresses the band. Malcom gets the only name he will be known by for the rest of his high school tenure. Bernie, Emily, Amelia, and Connor are also seen.

April 17-22, 2017. A week of high school gags. First two strips of Les ranting at silent students. Emily, Amelia, Malcolm, Connor, Logan, and Bernie are crudely scribbled in. Then a strip at Komix Korner where Malcolm and Logan tease Bernie about Facebook friends. Then three strips where Bernie and Malcolm talk about how dangerous ‘the vendo’ snacks are.

May 16-22, 2017. Another week of high school gags. First Malcolm, Bernie, and Connor at lunch. Then Maris talks to Principal Nate. Finally Les gives a class, including the whole crew, the results of a quiz.

May 28, 2017. A Sunday Strip where Logan takes a test. A call back to Batiuk’s numerous test gags of the past.

A week of school shenanigans. On May 31, 2017 we get Bernie doing another Batiuk ™ wacky test answer. And June 1, has a poorly drawn Connor talking to a poorly drawn Linda (Burchett had just taken over art duties.) Everything else that week is about the teachers.

June 11, 2017. A Sunday Strip where Bernie, Malcolm, and Logan are playing games at Komix Korner.

August 28, 2017. The final appearance of Owen, Cody, and Alex, at the Starbuck Jones premiere.

November 20-24, 2017. Malcolm and Bernie try to sell mattresses door to door.

January 17th and 18th, 2018. In a week of Les Moore complaining about copier paper, Maris, Malcolm, and Logan run in filming a hit piece for ‘The Bleat’. The artwork is particularly awful.

January 21, 2018. A Sunday Strip. Emily and Amelia talk to people who don’t resemble their parents all all about getting rid of the landline.

January 22 and 23, 2018. Bernie, Malcolm, and Logan discuss school food.

JUNE 10th, 2018. A Sunday Strip. Bernie talks on ‘The Bleat’ about teachers running out of material to teach. Emily and Amelia film him. A student who may be Connor beans a kid with the sun in Kablichnik’s classroom.

DECEMBER 16, 2018. A Sunday Strip. Becky and Dinkle yell at the band. I you squint and cross your eyes Bernie, Connor, and Emily might be there…or they’re just generics.

December 17, 2018. Bernie has excuses for not practicing.

December 23, 2018. A Sunday Strip of the Christmas Concert. Is that Connor’s hair fweep in the second panel? Is that a tiny Amelia in the last? Does it matter? No. Because the strip is about Becky (for once.)

March 3-10, 2019. After a crappy comic editorial, Bernie does a very special gun control editorial. Logan Church compliments him. Logan, Connor, Emily, Amelia, Bernie, Malcolm, and Maris participate in a school walkout.

March 17, 2019. A week later, A Sunday Strip, Batiuk pats himself on the back again for the gun violence walkout by having Fred Fairgood watch the entire class walkout again on the news. If you squint you can tell it’s Bernie, Logan, Emily and Amelia leading the class out, and Malcolm, Bernie, and one of the twins on the TV.

April 2019. During THREE WEEKS of Free Comic Book Day at Komix Korner. Malcolm gets commissioned Darin art. Bernie meets Flash Freeman. Bernie and Malcolm ask about the first appearance of Batton Thomas. Logan, Bernie, and Malcolm get their pictures taken with Masone Jarre and Holtron. Logan gets an autograph to sell. And Malcolm asks about future crossover events at Atomik Komix.

The next week, May 8-11, Cindy has agreed to talk to ‘The Bleat’ crew. (For whatever reason, Batiuk has forgotten that Maris was supposed be a part of ‘The Bleat’.)

August 5-11, 2019. Before school starts ‘The Bleat’ gets together to report on the county fair. Emily and Amelia remember that they had characters established three years ago.

November 3, 2019. A Sunday Strip. Malcolm delivers a bad pun on ‘The Bleat’. Amelia and Logan are camera operator and director.

December 16, 2019. A single weekday strip of Dinkle criticizing Becky. Is that Malcolm in the crowd? Idk.

March 8, 2020. A Sunday Strip of Bernie getting a candy bar delivered. Malcolm and Emily are flabbergasted.

March 29, 2020. A Sunday Strip. Bernie relates New Horizon’s historic flyby with a Marvel character. Connor, Emily, Amelia, Logan, and Malcolm are in class.

April 15, 16 and 17, 2020. Batton Thomas visits Westview High. The kids don’t get it. Bernie, Malcolm, Emily, Amelia, and Logan are in attendance. Emily, as the polite one (or just because) asks the only question.

November 30- December 5, 2020. A week of disconnected school gags. The PA system screams for Logan, which startles Connor and Les. Bernie, Malcolm, Logan, Maris and Emily(?) return from an unseen field trip. Maris does a typical Cindy-lite school picture gag. Emily and Amelia talk to Les about Cross Country on set of The Bleat? Logan answers a question ‘correctly’ and Kablichnik cries. Bernie and Amelia are in class with her.

December 21, 2020. Malcolm walks out of band class in the background while Dinkle and Becky talk. THRILLING.

January 3, 2021. A Sunday Strip. Malcolm, Bernie, Emily, and Amelia show up as smirking side faces during the Winter Band Banquet.

January 10, 2021. A Sunday Strip. Connor, Emily and Amelia, and Logan are all called on by name during attendance. Malcolm looks devastated that another chance to establish his real name has come and gone. Bernie keeps Altoids in his pocket. This is treated like something we all should know by now.

January 24, 2021. A Sunday Strip. Becky explains the behavior guidelines before the band goes to OMEA. Bernie asks a question. Emily, Amelia, Malcolm, Logan, and what might be a tiny Connor and Maris are all in the background. The next day, only Malcolm is identifiable. The band is left behind in Columbus, Ohio, and not seen again as they make their long trek back in the middle of winter.

In February 2021 there is a week of Dinkle substitute teaching, but all the kids look completely generic except for maybe on February 17th. This might be Connor without freckles?

March 7, 2021. A Sunday Strip. Emily, Amelia, Bernie, and what might be the back of Malcolm’s head, listen to Kablichnik blather about black holes.

September 1, 2021. Les Moore crucifies the concept of humor on the set of ‘The Bleat’ while Emily, Amelia, Malcolm, Logan, and Bernie watch in horror. The next day Bernie runs out for protection.

September 5, 2021. A Sunday Strip. The Class of 2022 flashes back to a zoom lesson. Maris has black hair for some reason.

March 20, 2022. A Sunday Strip. Bernie, Malcolm, Logan, and Connor are playing Magic at Komix Korner. Bernie angrily forbids Batton Thomas from sorting Magic cards.

May 15, 2022. Bernie picks out senior pictures.

And a week later, we’re graduating.

115 Strips. Spread out over 2592 days.

Final Spreadsheet, through May 29, 2022.

Ladies, Gentleman, I present to you, The Westview Class of 2022!

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Fortune Dweller

Uh… Cayla, had you met your husband before today’s strip?! Good feeling… ha! You’d get a “ha ha” if that was genuinely funny.

THIS, by the way, is why Les is (rightfully) not allowed to speak at graduations…

Where were you when Lisa was recording, Marge’s significant other?
Note: Barry Balderman didn’t leave WHS because he was bullied or ignored, he left because he was obsessed with being valedictorian and had a nervous breakdown after he overheard Principal Fred Fairgood say that Cindy had the highest GPA in the class. What he did not overhear was that Fred was making a dumb joke that GPA stood for “Greatest Popularity of All”. Les earned those boos and then some.

Lest you think that WHS might make the mistake of letting Les speak at graduation again because everyone who was in the administration when he was a student is retired… They aren’t.

I’m half certain that (then vice-) principal Nate has committed to work at the high school until he (or Les) dies in order to make sure that Les never steps in front of a graduation ceremony microphone ever again.

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Dick and Mortar

Our own newagepalimpsest called it yesterday… but we can’t be assigning blame for the reappearance of him. For one thing, we all know TB works a year in advance (note the reference to a graduation ceremony from “two years ago” in today’s strip). For another, reading this strip always carries a risk of appearances by him or Dinkle, regardless of the context.

I know we were all hoping he was not out loathing people on a book tour or a Hollywood something… but nope, he‘s loathing people here at the graduation ceremony. At least he‘s observing rather than participating (as the faculty often do), so I guess it could be worse.

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Operation Over-bored

Did you know Linda teaches history at Westview HS? No? Well, then you you’ll learn something from today’s strip. It is, apparently, more than any of Linda’s students can say they’ve learned in several years now.

Yeah, well, she was supposed to be retired by now and she’s only in it for the pension anyways… Plus, the last time I think we saw her actually teach anything she was teaching the “Family Living Course” back when we were still meeting the Owen&Cody generation of kids.

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Cripes, What a Black Hole!

How bad was the past week of Les strips? Bad enough to make today’s appearance by Mister Kablichnick feel like a refresing palate cleanser. I was ready to add “doughnut of doom” to the Batiuktionary, figuring that the term was coined by TB to set up the “punchline.” But Grandpa Google turned up this April 2019 New York Times article that uses the phrase, as well as the image Jim that is showing the students.

It’s been a pleasure sharing the pain with you lo these last two weeks. Beckoning Chasm steps into the wheelhouse starting Monday!

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Why Are Students at an Educators’ Conference?

Link To Today’s Strip

It’s a very good thing the side of the room on Becky’s right wasn’t already crowded. It would have been very awkward for her to have to point in the other direction.

I had to think about this for several seconds before I realized there wasn’t anymore of a joke to this then the “young people are morons” beat that Batiuk’s been hitting over and over for years now. Although it really is Becky’s fault, since she’s telling them to wait “here” and pointing right in front of the door, apparently.

Also, why is the welcome sign on the inside, so people will only see it when they leave? It’s amazing how often Batiuk does that kind of thing, like having classroom numbers taped to the insides of doors.

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My Dinkle-ing, My Dinkle-ing…

Twenty Twenty One may be just getting blessedly underway, but Our Winter Band Banquet is drawing to a close. I’m praying for Covid to finally reach Westview, Ohio soon, so that all those dopey, knowing smirks will be obscured by masks. Continue reading

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Run the Joules

Tom Batiuk’s got a decade-plus on me, but I reckon my high school experience had more in common with his than with that of today’s high school student. In my days, the only “device” a student might carry would be some kind of orthodontic implement. Any phone calls a student made would have to be from the principal’s office or the corner malt shop. Logan Church and her peers are never without their cellphones, and thus, are never without access to all the world’s knowledge. No wonder the unpleasant Jim hates teaching a class. When Logan correctly answers a physics question, Jim’s initial surprised reaction immediately shifts to narrow-eyed suspicion. She couldn’t have known this answer without Googling it, because Jim believes, as does Les, that these students never even open their textbooks. The thought that he has actually taught a student something brings Jim to actual tears. Unless that teardrop in the corner of his eye is a prison tattoo.

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Monday Morning Church

Welcome back from what I hope for you was a wonderful, long holiday weekend. Also back at work this Monday is Les Moore, after a weekend in Hollywood that started back in June. Les’ harrowing experience during the wildfires there have left him a little bit on edge: so triggered is he by the loud PA announcement that the sheaf of blank paper he was holding flies from his tiny hands. Easy to see why Mason wants to make a movie about this hero. Even Logan, the one being summoned by this booming voice, is more calm. Harder to gauge the reaction of the anono-kid in the red shirt, who is likely high AF and whose stage direction for this scene is “(looks on).” Tuesday: Logan pauses in the doorway and, without even getting Les’ Spinal Tap reference, blankly inquires of Mr. Moore, “Why don’t you just make ten louder and make ten be the top number and make that a little louder?”

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As Alike as Two Bothers.

Link To Today’s Strip

Only now, at the end of the week, do we get a name for our little future Motzart. Robbie even has a brother. A brother in Mopey Pete cosplay.

I wonder if Alex and Robbie are intended to become recurring characters? I mean, regardless of intent, we probably will never see them again. Because even when Batiuk seems like he’s carefully introducing another actor into this slice of life drama, he invariably forgets about them. But it would be interesting if Batiuk figures piano lessons are a good way to milk the remaining Dinkle market?

As for the art, Dinkle’s huge flesh-toned couch is hideous. The little specks on it give the appearance that the furniture has been molded from sand.

But Dinkle’s face in panel 3 makes this whole week worthwhile. The man is scrumptiously morose; hunched over, tired , his lips pursed into a thin line as he tastes the bitter defeat coating his tongue. Never has disdain looked so exhausting. When Ayers delivers, he delivers, and he always puts that effort into envisaging misery.

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