Today’s strip continues this week’s dumb one-off jokefest by having Logan Church join Progressively-Lumpier Black Guy and Preschooler Bernie Silver. Batiuk shows his lack of range by putting Logan in the now Westview woman uniform colors of magenta and black. Make her vest a cardigan and she’s stolen the elderly Holly’s wardrobe.
Anyway, dumb joke about mandarin oranges and Jello, which, for the record, I have only seen together sparingly in my many years on this planet, and none of those times in a school cafeteria. That Lumpy finishes Bernie’s punchline only underscores how labored this joke is.
And one wonders why Logan, who was introduced as savvy enough to have a business blog “picked up by ABC News”, would be hanging out with these two goobers. Perhaps her status nosedived when she switched her ethnicity.
I’ve had so much fun doing this. It’s like being a little comic book company…I’m going back and I’m going to dip into some of the other characters I created in the fifth grade…I’m going to resurrect them and put them to good use in the strip. I’ll tell you about one. I have a character, The Amazing Mister Sponge…
Tom Batiuk, 2014
A superhero with a name like “The Amazing Mister Sponge” gives us a good idea why the “big” comic book companies gave the air to young Thomas Martin Batiuk. I do like the name “Killjoy” for a villainous evil clown; but I wouldn’t need “porifera vision” to discern a frowning clown with a gangsta teardrop tattoo, toting a huge rifle, to be a criminal.
Speaking of superheroes, the only person I’ve ever heard use “chum” as a form of address is Adam West’s Batman, may he rest in peace. The superhero theme allows Rick Burchett to work a little more in his element in the first two panels. But he’s taken some liberties with the bricks in panel 3–they’re not consistent at all–and he’s drawn Bernie to resemble a bespectacled 8-year-old.
So much for my two-week turn in the barrel! Tune in tomorrow when beckoningchasm takes over for a spell.
Oh look, someone let Les put the message on the school sign in today’s strip. Or maybe Kablichnick put that up. Or Linda. Among the Westview High faculty, the possibilities are endless…
So, I’ve been assuming this is Logan Church, who was introduced in early 2016 as a white girl with an ABC News-endorsed business blog, and I stand by it. A change in ethnicity? That’s an established common occurrence in the Batiukverse. A successful business blogger who suddenly dresses like an extra from the opening scene of Austin Powers and jokes about not knowing basic high school geography? Wouldn’t be the first time.
And with that, I hand the keys back over to the governor himself: TFHackett. After this week’s clip show, one can only assume we will back to regularly scheduled programming. Good luck… you’re gonna need it.
It is comics like today’s strip that remind me how good I have it. I’m not taking high school English from Les Moore. I never had to take high school English from Les Moore. It is as if he is intentionally trying to be the opposite of the teacher that successful people so often cite as the inspiration that got them to make something of their life. What a miserable experience in every single way this strip is.
Les’ senior students did poorly on their quiz last Monday and now his freshman students have done poorly on theirs… I see a common denominator here. I bet these students would too if Westview High had a math teacher.
September’s a good time for Batiuk to revisit the place where the Funkiverse began: the high school classroom. We’ve seen the original Westview students grow into middle age, and some of them become teachers to the students who succeeded them. Now that Cody and Owen have finally graduated (and seemingly vanished), TB must come up with “fresh” teen characters to serve as foils for the insufferable Mr. Moore. So far all he’s come up with is the blonde mannequin Logan Church, seen in the last panel giving side-eye to Bernie Silver, who seems to be an amalgam of Owen’s clueless slacker and Cody’s dark hair and glasses.
It’s been a privilege bringing you the snark for the last couple weeks, folks. Billytheskink steps in for the next fortnight. Stay Funky, y’all!
Were you all worried we would go an entire week without a reference to comic books?
Well, fear not true believers! Today’s strip brings us back to that which makes the heart of Westview pump. “Comic books, comic books, comic books”… the beat hauntingly comes through the stethoscope.
The power of comic books is so great that Bernie doesn’t even need to go through the interview process that Maris and Logan did in order to join the staff of “the Bleat”. He’s in simply because he wants to review movies and comic books and believes he can score free comics from DC and Marvel by being a critic on a closed-circuit high school announcements broadcast (good luck with that, because it doesn’t happen… period).
I am curious about two things, though:
First, Marvel and DC but not Mega Comics? Bernie is, after all, a known fan of their signature property, The Amazing Mister Sponge.
Second, what is Les’ problem here? He left these two schmucks to do his job for him and now he wants to gripe about the results? Gimme a break. “I left these teenagers without direction or supervision and now they are pursuing their interests, oh they are so terrible at all aspects of life. If only there was a place where they could learn things and people there who could teach them…”
Maybe he’s just mad that they have clearly learned more from Bull than they have from him. Specifically, they want to score free stuff, which is Bull’s primary motivation in life.
And finally, after all of this exposition, Bernie had darn well better review the Starbuck Jones movie when it comes out… provided he hasn’t graduated by then of course.
“The Bleat” door I mean
Opens out in today’s strip
Unlike on Tuesday
The ABC News
Picks up a teen’s business blog
Sure… why the heck not?
Owen and Cody
Glare, unimpressed, at Logan
I do not get why
With successful blog
Why does Logan have a need
to work on “The Bleat”?
Check it out you all
The world’s narrowest table
And it’s in Westview!
Speaking of tables
What happened to the news desk