Tag Archives: John

Gamester’s Paradise.

Link to today’s strip

Many apologies for the late post tonight. Was working a late shift and forgot to set this up before I left.

It did give me a chance to actually SEE today’s strip. And I’m telling you, I can’t wait for Monday where Funky is probably back at Les’s house in the middle of the night. Sunday…the day unmoored to the normal linear time.

And LOOKIE HERE Becky and DSH John actually appearing together in the same panel for the first time in LITERAL YEARS.

One interesting note on the art. There appears to be a K2-SO robot in the background of panel three. I, for one, cannot WAIT for Disney to sue Batiuk for copyright infringement. You don’t mess with the House of Mouse’s IP, they will go after schools, pre-schools, nursing homes, and they will come after YOOOOOOOUUUUU.

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Strange Matter

Link to today’s strip

A strange and sudden change of pace Sunday strip featuring no one’s favorite Komix Korner employees discussing the quantum properties of comic book or something…meh. Sometimes these comic book geek gags go right over my head and I’m not really in the mood to research this crap right now. Sure beats watching someone open and read mail, though.

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Good advice that you just didn’t take

Montoni’s is busy in today’s strip! What? And Holly is flustered to the max and jealous of unhealthily self-conscious Cindy all the sudden*? Crazy!

Speaking of Crazy, his advice… isn’t ironic? I don’t know, actually, but I do know it’s been relevant to TB for decades. If only TB would take it one day.

Wait, Montoni’s is busy with regular FW cast members. Sheesh, this strip doesn’t even truly earn its “the rare Montoni’s customer” tag. This, THIS level of business has Holly frazzled and exhausted? She is as cut out for food service as Funky is for giving out marriage advice.

* Holly being self-conscious about her body hasn’t happened in a while, but to be fair, it actually isn’t new. It even goes back to when she was the other shoe.

Thanks for putting up with me and my blue tongue for the past two weeks. Thoughts and prayers for our next blogger…

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Batiukruptcy

Today’s strip about Free Comic Book Day finally being over happens on the actual Free Comic Book Day. Makes sense…

What is DSH all consternated about? Money? Bankruptcy? As best I can tell, the only thing he paid for in this whole Free Comic Book Eon Day was transportation and insurance on Holtron. All indications are that Pete, Durwood, and Flash showed up as a favor. Mason definitely showed up as a favor. I’m pretty sure Les and “Batton” just showed up uninvited (Really, who would invite them anywhere?). Heck, based on what we saw, DSH didn’t even give out any free comic books. If buying pizza for eight puts Komix Korner into bankruptcy then it was going into bankruptcy within the month anyways and/or he never should have spent money on Holtron (though both crane rentals and multi-million dollar umbrella insurance policies can run as low as a few hundred dollars).

Maybe he was referring to how long this Free Comic Book Day thing has been going on, though I would argue we are closer to chapter 78 than 11.

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Smirky Smirkybean

It is only at today’s strip where I finally realize the true meaning of Free Comic Book Day. I get it now. It’s not a day where free comic books are given out. No, it’s a rallying cry. A desperate plea. Comic Book Day must be freed from the clutches of these unbearable shmucks! Free Comic Book Day! And Free Holtron while we’re at it!

Also, Logan Church is here now. Such a sad turn for the once-accomplished business blogger. You could drive a semi-truck through her earrings.

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A Jarring Surprise

Free Comic Book Day Decade continues in today’s strip. That Mason Jarre appearance that was teased… *checks watch* 16 days ago finally happens. Yay!

What is DSH on about with this “hopelessly optimistic” business? I guess Crazy told him nothing about Cindy and Mason being in town and her goading him in to showing up. Mason is in Westview, which is 98% of getting him to show up at Komix Korner, because every previous time he has ever been to Ohio he has been involved with either comic books or comic book movies.

Now what’s hopelessly optimistic is Free Comic Book Day ending before September.

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Graphic Drivel

I know what you’re thinking, “How can today’s strip be any worse than this past week?”

Well, newsflash!

raph-itsworse

Les. The most dreaded name in the newspaper. The name that even alone evokes the most dire of thoughts. “Les” is the sound that a rattlesnake makes before it dies in a brush fire. It’s the Florida State Police code word for a sinkhole. It was the name of Francisco Franco’s pet canary. It is far and away the worst part of the title of Les Miserables.

I don’t know what possessed this poor poor child to wander near Les’ table, but I do know that if he winds up reading Lisa’s Story he is not going put it down disappointed that only one person dies. No, he’s just going to think that the wrong person dies. And he would, of course, be right.

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Wow, Stan Lee Dropped By

Today’s strip wasn’t available for preview, so I’m just guessing that involves a now very awkward appearance Stan Lee dropping by Atomik Komix and promising to do a signing at Komix Korner.

Does anyone doubt that the entire purpose of this week was this “gag” right here?  “Haha, I can have a crane company named after someone named Crane!  It’d be hilarious.  Hmm . . . what’s a plausible reason why someone in this strip would need a crane . . . I guess I could have Funky lifted out of his house because he’s so fat.  But no, I’ll save that for the finale . . . I’ve got it!  Comic books!  Someone could need to lift something heavy into the comic book store!”

If someone sent Batiuk a copy of “The Mammoth Book of Corny, Slightly Punny Names” I have a strong feeling he’d use it as material for the rest of his strip.  Stuff like this is what would be a background Easter egg in a Pixar movie that most people wouldn’t even notice.  But Batiuk tends to put it front and center and repeat it over and over.  “Get it?!  It’s funny!”  What are the odds we’re going to see “Buster’s Crabs” at least once the next time there’s a Hollywood arc?  And Crankshaft is doing a bowling story so I’m pretty sure we’ll be seeing “Margo Lanes” over and over.  I also look forward to the next couple of weeks, when they hire the “Frasier Crane Co.” to remove Holtron from the Komix Korner and the “Niles Crane Co.” to put it back in Atomik Komix (how did they not have any issues getting it down the multiple flights of stairs in that building?).

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Cry For Help

So Flash just randomly dropped by the same time John had decided to randomly drop by. Okay then. Plotting is difficult, apparently. It always amuses me how Batiuk just obviously thinks people know who this random minor characters are and that everybody just immediately recognizes them and is thrilled to see them back. I barely remembered who Flash even was and I have to be in the top 1% of people who give a crap about this strip. I like how Darin is just inviting people to make appearances at John’s store.
It’s fun how the artist made sure to get John’s creepy spiky gray hair and Pete’s eye bags just right, but barely drew a face on Mindy. I’m not even sure if what she has there technically counts as a nose.
This strip is more fun if you imagine Flash’s words as a little Easter egg expressing Batiuk’s desire to be done with all this.  It’s totally not necessary though, I mean, the entire strip gives off that vibe.

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Quasi Fake Humor

“. . . it’s worth more now as a quasi fake computer than it was a real computer”.

This has to take the prize as most awkward, crappy sentence in the history of Funky Winkerbean, if not comic strips as a whole. I mean, wow. There’s a word just obviously missing “as a real computer”, for starters, showcasing the lack of crap-giving on the author’s part and the fact that nobody else reads these strips before they’re printed. Then there’s just the fact that so many words mean literally nothing. It’s now a “quasi fake” computer? What does “quasi fake” even mean? It’s either fake or not. It’s like saying Lisa was “quasi dead”. If anything it’s more of a real computer now, since before it was blatantly cartoony, making wisecracks, and now it’s just an Alexa/Siri knockoff. Take a bow, Tom Batiuk, this has to be your peak.
Oh, and Chester apparently has something worth two-million dollars sitting around the abandoned old building where Pete and Darin work all day. And somehow a piece of junk from a movie a year ago is now worth millions of dollars.

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