Tag Archives: pizza

Sunday Unfunnies

SosfdavidO here! There’s no preview for Sunday’s strip and I’m going to be at a guinea pig rescue charity event until the ass-crack of dawn so I’ll go ahead and post a placeholder now!

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Pizzacato

Link to today’s strip.

Dr. Harry L. Dinkle, professional dumbass.  Just yesterday in real-time, but just a few minutes ago in strip-time, he discussed pizza as a fundraising tool–especially how you can use someone else’s pizza to make them miserable.  And now he’s astonished to find pizza itself on the convention floor?  Well, apparently he can’t remember anything for more than a few seconds.   I guess that’s why he’s not following his own advice and churlishly reading the pamphlet.

One thing I am curious about–is this particular strip supposed to be funny?  Or poignant?  Or educational?  Does it serve any purpose whatsoever except as one more step on the way to the 50th?  Because I’ll be damned if I can find any content in this at all.

I don’t have any hatred for Tom Batiuk–in fact, I wish him all the luck in the world with his work.  I just wish he’d try every now and then.  But all the strips in recent months just seem to be one big nothing after another big nothing.  It’s difficult for me to even get angry at the strip–it’s just so boring, such a squandered opportunity.  He could tell interesting stories with this cast if he didn’t (apparently) believe that everything has to be miserable to be taken seriously.

What’s so great about being taken seriously?

Oh well.  How about another Crankshaft!  Funny how my phone hasn’t rung with an offer yet.

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Laughter-hewn De Light

In today’s strip we see the rare Montoni’s customer in its natural habitat. It was believed by many that these rare creatures had become extinct in the early 2010s. They are still sighted occasionally, as we see today, but such appearances are increasingly uncommon. In fact, Montoni’s customers are seen less often these days than Barney Google, Annie Warbucks, and Irma the diner waitress from Garfield.

It is easy to see why the Montoni’s customer is on the verge of extinction, their natural habitat is an extremely hostile environment. Nearly-inedible food, abysmal service, regular appearances by coffee-gulping comic store employees and that guy with the goatee, and now frequent power outages. Those few Montoni’s customers who remain are sullen and churlish, ultimately accepting of their fate of eating a loaf Sunbeam drizzled with store-brand olive oil in lieu of what they ordered but not entirely resigned to it.

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Hmmph.

Well, I have no idea what’s going on in today’s strip. There’s no preview available, and apparently Comics Kingdom is having some problems with Advance Digital, which hosts a number of newspaper websites like nj.com (New Jersey), masslive.com (Springfield MA), the Cleveland Plain Dealer, and so on. CK just isn’t displaying any of their comics on Advance sites, though rival GO! Comics is doing just fine.

Anyway, Saturday’s strip will eventually appear on comicskingdom.com, the syndicate’s home site. We’ll catch up with the snarking in the morning, and I’ll post an edit then.

Saturday AM Edit:

Ha! Funky’s always busting Tony’s cogliones for having stupid ideas, and today he finds that payback’s a bitch. So what it it probably cost him five hundred dollars to win a hundred-dollar bet? He gets bragging rights and Funky looks like a dumbass on The You Tubes.

And lest we forget, a special award of One Thousand Internets goes to spacemanspiff85, for his prescient comment on the 24th:

That’ll be useful for flying food up to the Comix Corner.

One_thousand_internets

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[[Jarring Intensifies]]

Link to today’s strip

“Hey, (insert FW character here)! The production needs (marching band music/a one-armed woman/a service dog/an insane old bus driver/an old-timey front porch with a swing) for a big scene! Why sure, your (wife/husband/kids/friend) can be in it too!”. It’s been his plan all along, that diabolical bastard.

Epicus Doomus

I sure am glad that T-Bats is doing this whole Starbuck Jones thing; it’s wicked educational. I had no idea that making a film was so seat-of-the-pants. I thought locations were scouted months in advance so that everything would be ready by the time shooting started.

Aw yiss! What high school wouldn’t want a film production taking place during graduation? Stupid-ass selfish kids, thinking that the ceremony was about them. What a bunch of entitled little bastards. Maybe they can get Mason to give the commencement speech, and Cliff Anger can hand off the diplomas.

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Unpunny

Wow, after coming up with pretty lame planet/pizza based pun after pun, Tony settles on a random string of words strung together in today’s strip and we’re supposed to be impressed?

Pizza Purveyor!? Is there anything Mason *doesn’t* do? Are we really supposed to believe Hollywood stars and starlets are going to eat greasy, fattening, skin-wrecking pizza while working on an action film that probably demands a rigorous workout?

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Dough’nt Make That

Funky is hopefully putting the brakes on Tony’s barely-lucid ramblings in today’s strip, hopefully before he comes up with a “Challenger” pizza, where you have T+73.162 seconds to finish 7 slices or you’ll “explode” with disappointment.

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