Tag Archives: pizza

A-Pickin’ And A-Smirkin’

Link To Today’s

Cindy’s jocular brand of cynicism is almost as annoying as Les’ face is. Almost, but not quite. I guess the gag here is supposed to be how little Les’ students respect him, which seems believable enough, I suppose. Speaking of annoying, Mason’s bizarre hair strand is a real rage trigger, especially the way he crammed it in there in panel one, where it actually trespasses into the word balloon, annoyingly enough. And what’s up with Cayla’s heavily-sedated smirk? You can tell she’s originally from out of town.

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Massholes

Link To Today’s Strip

I don’t know what Mason is doing to that slice there in panel two but it’s hard to believe it made it past the CK censors. Blech. This one is a visual nightmare, but at least he got Cindy’s hair color right this time.

So it’s “You’ll Hate Your Career Day” at WHS already, eh? Time sure does fly. Last year’s guest speaker, the former night manager at Montoni’s, dissuaded plenty of kids from choosing a career in pizza arts and Cindy is way more wry than he was, so IMO her talk will go over like gangbusters with Les’ class. They are, after all, at that age where pondering your future failure and unhappiness is very important, the decisions they make today are tomorrow’s regrets. Dream small, little Scapegoats, as it’ll soften the landing.

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Good advice that you just didn’t take

Montoni’s is busy in today’s strip! What? And Holly is flustered to the max and jealous of unhealthily self-conscious Cindy all the sudden*? Crazy!

Speaking of Crazy, his advice… isn’t ironic? I don’t know, actually, but I do know it’s been relevant to TB for decades. If only TB would take it one day.

Wait, Montoni’s is busy with regular FW cast members. Sheesh, this strip doesn’t even truly earn its “the rare Montoni’s customer” tag. This, THIS level of business has Holly frazzled and exhausted? She is as cut out for food service as Funky is for giving out marriage advice.

* Holly being self-conscious about her body hasn’t happened in a while, but to be fair, it actually isn’t new. It even goes back to when she was the other shoe.

Thanks for putting up with me and my blue tongue for the past two weeks. Thoughts and prayers for our next blogger…

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Break a Wish

Link to today’s strip.

Not much to say about this one…it’s okay, but the fact that Rachel’s wish was for Wally to become a night manager at a pizza place–well.  It’s hard to think of anything sadder.  Although I’m sure Batiuk regards that as a challenge and will get right to work on that.

I have to say, that’s the most unappetizing pizza I’ve ever seen.  It looks cold and damp.  This might be a testament to Chuck Ayers’ drawing skills, but I think he’s going in the wrong direction.

Charles made an interesting observation in yesterday’s comments, to wit: “H-1B visas are temporary work permits for foreigners who have specialty skills. Washing dishes at or assistant managing a pizza place is not one of those skills. Adeela’s literally taking a job a local American could do.’

That got me to thinking…why was Adeela here in the first place?  I have to assume that H-1B visas are given to foreigners whose skills are pre-existing.  In other words, they’ve already been trained in a specialty that few Americans have.

Adeela, though, was going to school here in the US to acquire her architecture degree…in other words, she was given an H-1B based on a skill she did not already possess.

Could it possibly work that way?  “Oh, here’s a Muslim woman who wants an H-1B visa.  What?  She doesn’t have a specialty skill?  Oh, well, I’m sure she’ll go to college here and get one.  Next!”

Batiuk should really stick to things he knows about, or at least learn to use Google.

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Please DON’T have mistletoe.

Link to Today’s Comic.

I stayed up late waiting for this strip to drop. And thank Dead St. Lisa, we are no longer having ‘the talk.’ Instead Holly and Funky are entertaining their only two repeat customers.

And, actually, today’s strip is amusing enough, and does point out an actual weird lyric in a famous song. (There is a historical explanation,, but it’s within character for the Funky Bunch to not know it.) It isn’t a completely dead tradition though, I remember one Christmas where, on the tree, were envelopes with cash inside. Pretty good presents on that tree that year.

I have a feeling that Holly would hate me though. As a child that grew up on way too much MST3K, my logic sensors are primed to sniff out any tiny inconsistency and snark on it. What I’m saying is, I’m really relating to Funky in today’s strip…and isn’t that a terrifying thought.

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Double Cheese And Matrimony

Link To Today’s Strip

Montoni’s…the wedding venue of choice for couples who just don’t really give a f*ck anymore. A “99% success rate”??? So Montoni’s has hosted 100 weddings and only one of those unholy unions failed? THAT seems unlikely. As difficult as this is to believe right now I’m actually hoping they get back to the Big Alumni Reunion Band thing or whatever it was, as at least that wasn’t entirely predictable. I like how Rocky still has absolutely nothing to say and no input to offer regarding her own wedding, which would be wildly unrealistic in any other setting but makes perfect sense in the Funkyverse. Obviously she saw her inevitable future and gave up long ago, much like TomHack’s readership did back in ’84.

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I Don’t Like To Throw The Word “Hate” Around Casually But F*ck These People And The Horses They Rode In On

Link To The Nadir Of This Arc…So Far

I don’t even understand what this is supposed to be. OBVIOUSLY it’s a problem for him, I mean the f*cking guy is throwing away a lucrative Hollywood screenwriting career to “be closer” to the first and only woman who’s able to tolerate his presence for more than three seconds. It’s as desperate as it’s possible to be. Yet in spite of that SHE has been waiting around for seven-plus months to see the cretin again, a fact adequately explained by that terrifying expression on her face in panel two. Stop pretending you have options there, Mindy. It isn’t like Westview is teeming with eligible bachelors, if she passes on Pete she’ll be left to choose between Cody and Bernie and quite frankly IMO they’re both out of her league.

And to add insult to injury he has to end THIS annoying sub-arc on a “cliffhanger” too, because actually wrapping up even the dumbest sub-arc in a mere six days is apparently just too much work, I guess. If he manages to drag this out for yet another week it’ll mark two full months of this, which is probably some sort of FW milestone, or it would be if anyone cared enough to keep track of that sort of thing. Soon it’ll be like DiMaggio’s 56 game hitting streak, except far less impressive.

After four long weeks of the Atomic Comics mega-arc I’ve had enough. Stayed tuned for billytheskink who takes the wheel on Monday as well as a Very Special Guest Post tomorrow! Until next time….stay Funky!

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