Is it possible that today’s strip is the last we’ll see of Bull and/or Bull’s retirement ceremony? Who knows? T-Bats stretched a three-panel story about Durwood running out of pens into two solid weeks of shitposting, so anything is possible.
Once again, though, we’re shown that Bull really is a solid dude, having established (with Linda’s help) an equipment fund that will provide future Scapegoats with state-of-the-art noggin armor. I swear, Tom never builds up a non-Les character like this unless he’s setting him up for a fall. The suspense is killing me! Or would be killing me, if I really cared about this half-rate storyline.
And someone help me out here…who dat in Panel Three, basking in the sunshine far from the Ohio night? It’s not Jinx – she had straight black hair, as befits her stereotypical ethnicity. Could it be Crazy Harry’s daughter Maddie? Has any other FW girl worn a billed cap? If it’s Maddie, why isn’t her hair red anymore?
First off, ladies and gentlemen, let’s have a big round of applause for the late Paul Winfield, appearing in today’s strip in the roll of
game show host Principal Green.
Now let’s talk about this stadium stuff. Talk about a kick in the head (ha ha, no pun intended) to Bull. They’re kind of naming the stadium after him, but not really, since they also have a corporate sponsor who is presumably paying for stadium naming rights. So…thanks, Bull, for those three championships your teams managed to win despite sucking at football, but it wasn’t quite good enough. Sorry.
Oh, and Tom? A & L Automotive? I’m giving you points not only for making an asshole pun, but also for getting it past the censors at King Features. If you’re ever in New Haven, look me up and I’ll treat you to a REAL pizza and not one of those Ohio shit pies.
Link to today’s strip.
I was actually reading an article recently that was a bit critical of having celebrities delivering commencement addresses instead of weightier, more scholarly people. The idea was that the scholars could give wise council and practical advice, but all you’d get from celebrities would be jokes and vapid pronouncements. I don’t care one way or the other, but in this case, Principal Nate’s request surprises me.
What’s Mason done that would make him an attractive candidate? He’s an actor who is apparently frightened of speaking before a group of high school kids–and I’m thinking he’s frightened for a damned good reason. His only known credit in the strip (and the one he himself immediately names) is Dino Deer, which sounds like something the SyFy channel would reject without hesitation. True, he is in the new Starbuck Jones movie (I knew we were getting back to that) but that hasn’t even wrapped yet so there’s no telling if it will add to his luster (ie, Guardians of the Galaxy) or become a millstone (ie, Green Lantern).
His one inexplicable accomplishment is that everyone in Westview is infatuated with him–for no real discernible reason, other than he’s better looking than any other male in town. All the women at Les’ house were practically fainting when he was staying there–this for a guy who was in Dino Deer. I’m trying to think of a real-life actor who is similarly beloved at large, despite having only mediocre films under his belt.
But this is apparently just what Principal Nate is looking for–a handsome man who has some mad money, but is otherwise unaccomplished. (I’m starting to be convinced that Mason was born into wealth, and his acting is more of a hobby than a profession.) I guess this will prepare the students for the life of mediocrity that awaits them in Westview (without the “handsome” part of course, and with the “mad money” being unlikely) but it seems pretty uninspiring. I guess Nate’s idea is to get someone who can lie to them convincingly on this one day, when hope is still reachable, before their lives crash to earth the next morning.
Of course, using another, less random speaker would mean that Tom Batiuk would have to introduce a new character, and build that character until he (or she) seemed a good choice for commencement speaker. But that seems like a lot of work, so I guess Mason will do. I’m sure he would have loved using Les Moore, but not to worry, I’m sure Mason’s speech will be eerily Les-like.
Link to today’s strip.
Yeah, the Doublemint Twins are fitting right in, with Nice considering holding hands with Halfback Dimwit, and Naughty being pinioned by ex-football hotshot Jared. Jared’s really throwing himself into this, you can almost hear him asking if Naughty would like to see his forward pass.
Nice to see Jared back, but one really has to ask…what’s with the hairlines on these high school students? Jared has a wicked widow’s peak kind of hiding his balding nature, while Dimwit’s hair is clearly retreating back over his scalp.
Are there that many high school kids going bald these days? Is there some kind of drug I never heard about that makes your head swell, and your hair die? I only ask because when I was in high school, all the students had hair.
Of course, when I was in high school, Funky Winkerbean was funny.
The joke in today’s strip appeared in Sumerian cuneiform. It likely dates back even further in oral tradition, as seen in the following paleontologist reconstruction:
Of course back then, the trilobite’s twin didn’t step all over the punchline like Emily is doing today. And this “teachers are great” business? Hoy, Centerville schools must be in shambles.
Is Nate worried as all get out about what these two think of the school or what? Students moving TO Westview really is the rarest of rare cases, I guess, and he really is terrified of losing them. I don’t think Emily and Amelia’s mother cares half as much about their first day of school as Nate seems to.
The red blue carpet tour continues in today’s strip. The Westview hive mind has fully taken control of Emily and Amelia now, as they both smirk at Nate’s anti-joke and don’t seem to even consider fleeing at the very sight of Les.
Given that Nate has shown the sisters “The Bleat” (which is really more min comm than mass comm) in addition to the band, can we assume that, like the band, Les’ video journalism fiefdom is failed levy-proof?
Of course we can! The last time Les didn’t get what he wanted, I could still watch UPN on my analog television.
By the way, I’m still wondering where the news desk that Cindy and Channel 1 donated went. “The Bleat” clearly isn’t using it. It’s rare that TB makes a plot point and then ignores it or forgets about it later…
As the first students to move TO Westview in decades, Emily and Amelia are receiving the red carpet treatment from the WHS staff. See today’s strip, where Principal Nate personally escorts them to Lefty’s band room to get them involved in the school’s only extracurricular activity. Nate was so excited to be showing new students around that he didn’t even check to see if Dinkle was lurking, waiting to make Crankshaft look good by comparison, before bursting into the band room.
Strip #4 with Emily and Amelia, and we’re almost kinda sorta getting some insight on their personalities. Emily, the “cup-is-half-full” one, wears pink and plays the flute. Amelia wears black turtlenecks, “shreds” a “pretty mean” “guitar”, and says so while standing in a sassy half-akimbo pose (or whatever that’s called).
I haven’t seen character traits summed up this succinctly since the third season theme song of Sister Sister.