Today’s strip begs the classic 5 Ws (and an H) of writing. It also begins the Oscars story Variety promised last month. Yeah, I thought that maybe if I buried the lede it would stay in the ground, but alas.
Who is Mason talking to on the left? Wait, he calls her Marianne… that’s supposed to be Marianne Winters? The lady with the pentagon head and the pigtail-bun hairstyle my niece insisted on wearing when she was a toddler is Marianne Winters?
What is with TB’s willingness to use Hulu and HBO’s trademarked names but still insist on sticking to the eyeroll-inducing “Netbusters”?
When does TB think the Academy Awards ceremony takes place? We’re three weeks out from this year’s Oscars broadcast… Does that mean? Oh no, please no. I really hope TB just got the dates wrong.
Where is the “chateau” where this “real party” is happening? Chateau Marmont? Haha, really? I guess if you don’t know… then you don’t know. I’m in no hurry to find out, either.
Why are Cliff Anger and Vera Nash here? Neither one was involved in the Lisa’s Story movie at all… well, other than inexplicably being at the film’s wrap party.
How is this story going to end? Insufferably, no doubt. I don’t think any other outcome is possible.
Filed under Son of Stuck Funky
Tagged as Academy Awards, Anon-O-Characters, brushing up against trademark infringment, Cassidy, Cassidy Kerr, Cindy, Cliff, Cliff Anger, comical takes on trademarked brand names he cannot use, enraging hair strands, Hollywood, Hollywood lingo, knowing smirks, Marianne, Marianne Winters, Martin Johns, Mason, Mason Jarr, Mason Jarre, Mason' Marianne, Mason's Nose, Masone Jarre, movie lingo, movies, not how the world works, not how things work, not the way the world works, Now Cindy, Oscar, Oscars, possible copyright violations, smirking, smirks, Squick, terrible artwork, terrible wordplay, trademark infringment, Vera, Vera Nash
Link to today’s strip.
I thought Les had already met Cliff and Vera, but then I thought that Les had nothing to do with Starbuck Jones, so maybe he didn’t meet them before.
So, they’re meeting now. Fine. Make another movie from it, “Les Moore Meets The Killer Klowns From Outer Space.”
Oh, and thanks Batiuk (via Cayla) for telling us how we’re supposed to regard this joke. Just for the record, it’s not cute. It’s not even clever. It barely recognizes as an attempt at humor.
And that’s why these two fossils are here, right? Who wants to bet they never make another appearance during this week? Batiuk just came up with a pun and had to shove it in here.
I could think of a better place he could have shoved it.
You know what would be useful when you’re trying to pass off jealousy as a motive for murder? Maybe establishing that the murder victim was in any kind of relationship that would inspire jealousy. Or that Valerie was going to steal Butter away and he’d leave Zanzibar behind, but then I really don’t think “jealousy” is the word to use in that case. Like, I don’t think there was even a hint that Valerie and Butter had ever even talked to each other, let alone that they were in a relationship. Also, the house was full of people, so why would Zanzibar kill Valerie instead of anyone else? Unless Zanzibar was in Butter’s bedroom, waiting for him, or saw Valerie enter the room, and then became jealous because only he was supposed to pay nighttime visits to Butter’s room? I mean, this might possibly be the first time in a mystery story where the jealous lover murderer is a different species than his love interest. I seriously hope it is, at least.
Maybe all those loving glances Cliff was giving Zanzibar were totally intentional.
Also, Butter was acquitted, and just had to go back and live as a millionaire for the rest of his life? After covering up for a murder? When he was totally responsible for that murder? And he was okay letting the murder victim’s family think he murdered her? So what interested Cindy enough to film a documentary was “an old actor got acquitted of murder and never acted again, but was still a millionaire” and not “a famous up and coming actress was brutally murdered, and nobody ever paid for it, and the crime was never solved”?
And we’re supposed to be sympathizing with Butter? I mean, I don’t want to read too much into this here, but the point of this story really seems to be “What if a rich and famous guy was accused of doing something incredibly terrible to a young woman, but he got acquitted and she was dead? That’d be real bad for the guy, right?”.
Okay, so the absurdity continues today. The storytelling absurdity, not the whimsy of the story itself or anything. Cliff literally lived through something straight out of the Planet of the Apes, which a chimpanzee wielding a weapon at him and speaking, and never told anyone until now? I don’t care if he was literally spying for the KGB, this is by far the most interesting part of his life. Or anyone’s life in this strip. Forget Lisa and John Darling, Les needs to write about Zanzibar.
Oh, and apparently Butter slept with a she-chimp and fathered a half-man, half chimp, which explains why Zanzibar was so talented, and had a burning desire to kill humans.
I feel like the only part of the movie-making process Batiuk has actually shown is reading scripts. Because that’s all there is to it, I guess. The genius writers make the scripts and talk about bent nails to the actors, who just sit around reading the script until they film. I would’ve much preferred him to be reading Das Kapital or writing a letter to Trotsky or something.
Oh, and I guess past Cliff is about to get shot with a ray gun by a monkey. Sure it’ll mess up the time stream, but I think it’s worth it.