But seriously… be sure to read today’s strip before David Caruso‘s lawyer does.
Tag Archives: Marianne
Keep Circulating The Tapes
I suppose it was inevitable… but I had a fleeting thought that we might escape this arc without anyone bringing up the Lisa tapes. Alas, today’s strip has happened. It was a silly thought, really.
Wait, all Les Cayla sent to Marianne was two videocassettes? (apparently) Didn’t Les ask Cayla to send DVDs of Lisa’s tapes? (yes) But didn’t Les also have all of his Lisa tapes on display on the very shelf he just placed Marianne’s Oscar on? (also, yes) But didn’t Crazy convert all of the Lisa tapes to “digital” (and DVD) years ago, negating the need to send any physical media at all? (again, yes) But didn’t the conversion process require Crazy to bake (and likely ruin) the tapes because of their fragility and deterioration? (it did) Beyond that, why is she only returning these tapes to Les now instead of through a delivery company or at the movie wrap party? (because TB has panels to fill)
I suppose the real question here is, did Lisa make a tape about what to do in the event that an actress won an Oscar for playing her in a major motion picture? That might explain why Marianne wound up giving her Oscar away… everyone obeys the Lisa tapes! Sic semper videocassetta!
Filed under Son of Stuck Funky
Stolen Valium
In today’s strip Les, appropriately, puts all of his stolen Hollywood paraphernalia in same place.
Marianne doesn’t appear to understand the concepts of opacity and walls.
Cayla plans to monetize this display even though presently no one seems willing to visit the Moore house for free (and people are willing to visit Dinkle!).
Why am I blandly narrating this strip in lieu of hard-hitting commentary and rapier wit? Because I know my limits. Why is Les blandly narrating his actions in the first panel? Because there is no limit to his disdain for even those that worship him.
Filed under Son of Stuck Funky
“N”, the bag
Today’s strip marks Summer’s first appearance since… oh wait, yeah, sorry, that’s (Marianne) Winters, not Summer.
Summer actually has appeared in this strip as recently as 7 weeks ago, which is not something you could often say since she graduated high school. Even so, it’s kind of remarkable that Les and Cayla have interacted more over the past few years with a now-Oscar-winning actress than they have with their own children, both of whom (still!) appear to go to Kent State… less than an hour away from where Westview is generally considered to be.
And by “remarkable” I mean 1/4 inch AU from reality. I think I would have found it more relatable and more entertaining had we focused instead on the adventure that must have been Marianne’s efforts to bring an Oscar stuffed in a small drawstring bag through a TSA checkpoint.
Filed under Son of Stuck Funky
Clap on! Clap off!
Marianne does NOT look like someone who is willing to give away her Oscar in the first today’s strip. No, she’s looking at that Oscar the way most characters in this strip look at comic books.
The rest of this is as rote and pat as an Oscar acceptance speech can be, so let’s have some fun with another crowd shot of “famous” faces. Help me fill in the blanks and fix the mistakes where my corrective lenses deceived me.
- A replicant
- NO NECK JOE!
- Alana Haim deserves better seats than this
- Stanley Tucci on a ski trip
- David Duchovny’s face
- HAL 9000 putting on its best gold
- Debra Jo Rupp
- General U.S. Grant again
- A cumulonimbus cloud
- I don’t know, but her body language is appropriate
- David Duchovny’s hair
- Cousin It
- Beldar Conehead
- Hogarth Hughes
- Maria, from Sesame Street
- Cassidy’s sister, Alexus Kerr (see, I can do it too, TB)
- Yoko Ono
- Harold Lloyd (I mean, if Phil Holt is alive…)
- The Chinless Contessa
- Given her glare I’m guessing this is either Gretchen Gold or Cordelia Rama
- Burt Reynolds (again… Phil Holt)
- Jennifer Anniston’s hair
- Sid, from accounting
- We have General Grant, so why not Robert E. Lee too?
Filed under Son of Stuck Funky
Hai-can’t with this
Here is today's strip Is it worse than we all feared Or simply as bad If I was popcorn I would be quite offended By this portrayal Les hated this film Why would he even watch this Was happy it failed In this case, "writer" Would not describe Les as he Did not write the script This deserves more scorn I'm a skink, I can't rant, so I'm counting on you Rip this thing to shreds Kill it with all of the fire Or just acetone
Filed under Son of Stuck Funky
Special Enragement
In today’s strip, Marianne is coming off as not simply composed but rehearsed, belying the nerves and words she had just a few days ago. Or maybe Marianne is just that good of an actress and really is worthy of that Oscar… I have to admit, only a great actress could say that Mason and Lisa’s Story deserve Academy Award nominations without breaking out in riotous laughter.
Let’s look at some odds on who this Oscar-worthy “very special person” is:
- 100-1 Cassidy Kerr, for giving Mason points on the backend
- 1,000-1 “Mr. Director” Martin Johns, for keeping his head when Marianne went AWOL from the Starbuck Jones set, actually trying to reach Marianne instead of pointlessly pontificating, and then contacting the actual authorities like a sane person
- 1 million-1 Cable Movie Entertainment and Clay Wallace, for letting Mason pitch Lisa’s Story at another studio with no resistance after he torpedoed their Lisa production by quitting to become Starbuck Jones (nope, it ultimately wasn’t the infamous “kill fee”)
- 75-1 Cindy, for arranging to use Bull’s funeral as a pre-production springboard for the movie
- 275-1 Holly, for demanding the movie be made but not demanding her role be portrayed
- 50-1 Rex Morgan MD, for… uh, aren’t people always giving him things for no reason?
- 700-1 Cayla, for being inhumanly comfortable with being treated as a silver medal
- 40-1 Marianne’s oncologist, for obvious reasons
- 10-1 Lisa, for dying
- 27-1 Lisa’s oncologist, for obvious reasons
- itsgonnabehim-1 Les, for absolutely no defensible reason at all
Filed under Son of Stuck Funky
My mother, the car
Quite the crowd on hand in today’s strip, with the first panel serving as the Batiukverse equivalent of the semi-famous crowd reaction photo from the 2017 Academy Awards’ wrong envelope incident. While the crowd of stars watching Marianne are not quite of the same wattage as those in the 2017 audience, I still spy some big names.
- OK, I don’t know who this is, but his mouth is huge
- The shirtless Nazi who gets shredded by a propeller in Raiders Of The Lost Ark
- George Foreman
- Dorothy Hamill (what’s with all the sports people?)
- The giraffe that stole David Cassidy’s hair
- A Dilbert cosplayer
- General/President Ulysses S. Grant
- Who invited Creepy Pete?
- Christopher Columbus (not that one)
- Soft-serve ice cream
- SHEMP!
Quite the menagerie present to hear Marianne call back to the time she went AWOL, nearly committed suicide, and then quoted her mother quoting an actress who was one of Hollywood’s most famous suicides. Anything to fulfill your parent’s dreams. How inspiring!
Filed under Son of Stuck Funky
Son of Stuck Funky 
