Tag Archives: Marianne Winters

Wait Til Next Year

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Well, given how he spent sixty years doing absolutely nothing, I can definitely see how sitting behind a big table while other people talked probably WAS the most “grueling” thing he’s ever done. The bar is set pretty low there, after all. Once again we see that Marianne’s retcon from “buxom box office-bursting sexpot” to “haplessly naive innocent waif” is complete, as she continues to oooh and ahhh over basic movie promotion duties. All in all it’s a typical FW “blow off”-type strip featuring the usual gang of idiots grinning idiotically, as if I expected anything else.

Well, as thrilling as Comic-Con was, it’s time for me to step aside and hand things off to billytheskink who’ll no doubt get some REALLY compelling FW material to work with…as if. Just remember, as bad as whatever just happened was there’s always something worse right around the corner.

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A Kiss Before Sighing

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Blech. Is it just me or does Marianne change a little bit every single day? If Harry waited on line for a week to see Marianne, doesn’t that mean the room is packed with lots of other fans who likewise waited in line? What about THEIR feelings, huh? Does Harry’s wife ( I think her name is The Donnanator or something) know her husband blew off work for a week to meet a nineteen year old girl? And now that I think about it, his wife was also somewhat “boyish” back when he first met her…perhaps it’s just his “type”. Doesn’t make it funny, though.

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Flirty Marianne & Lazy Harry

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Well, yesterday’s somewhat pleasant strip was, of course, just an anomaly. Crazy Harry waited on line for a week to meet a boyish nineteen year old girl? What’s up with John’s brutally fractured syntax? Why doesn’t he just wake Harry up, was it really necessary to humiliate him that way? I mean if Harry is the guy who waited on line for a week to meet Marianne, John is the guy who waited with the guy who waited on line, which isn’t “better” at all.

Then again, if Comic-Con is even half as dull as FW makes it out to be I’d probably be sleeping through it too. This Q&A session is more like a Q&(zzzzz) session, amirite? Look at the crowd, laughing in delight as the creepy old weirdo misses out on what very well might have been the last true “highlight” of his otherwise wretched life because his “friend” doesn’t have brains enough to elbow-nudge the guy or something. What a pal.

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The Cure For The Common Qualms

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As regular FW readers know, the only “artist” who ever does anything for the sake of artistic expression is Les Moore, everyone else in the “entertainment business” is an amoral money-grubbing weasel. What the f*ck is Cartoon Conan babbling about here? “Take over” the “large franchise”? What? Who’d he “take it over” from? How can it already be a large franchise when the first one hasn’t even been released yet? Why can’t ANYONE in this stupid f*cking comic strip EVER just ask a normal question?

The funniest thing in this one is Cliff in panel one, inexplicably doddering around for no reason. What is he doing, is he pushing the chair in or pulling it out and if so, why? It’s such a needless-yet-fascinating detail.

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The Tank Is Empty

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contentMan, I REALLY hate having to turn my entire computer sideways to read these stupid Sunday “homage” strips. Today we learn that Cliff (who’s in a modern movie RIGHT NOW) feels a little out of step with these newfangled picture shows, which is probably to be expected given that he just emerged from a sixty year hibernation. “You mean people watch movies in their HOUSES now? I…I…I…can’t BELIEVE it! Where does the projector go?”.

“Tank Thompson”??? What THIS has to do with anything is anyone’s guess. I’ll never understand why the Batom Comics covers are never relevant to the (ahem) “stories” they follow, but then again it’s be pretty stupid of me to expect logic to come into play at this point.

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Too Much Junk Business

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This is one of those strips it took me a while to figure out, as at first glance I was totally baffled. OK, apparently they’re doing an audience Q&A session and one of the audience members felt the need to lob rather unimaginative insults at the old WHS computer which, out of completely nowhere, has suddenly become a relevant character again. Continue reading

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Boy Howdy

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A female FW character talking about playing a strong female comic book character in a movie. Oh my, that’s just priceless, especially when it’s a female FW character with all the emotional strength of a lost puppy with its head caught in a sewer grate. An alarmingly delicate and naive waif who’s built like a Wheat Thin…maybe that’s Cartoon Conan’s type but sorry there BanTom, you blew the chance to create a buxom marriage-ruining boffo box-office sex vixen movie star character right around when you had this one trying to kill herself over seeing a candid picture of herself kissing Mason Jarre on the cheek. It’s too late to go back now, so have Cartoon Conan put it back in his pants.

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