Tag Archives: sports

Safety Dance

Yet another tip of the ol’ SoSF fedora to billytheskink for reminding us yesterday that this kind of wacky circumstance is by no means unheard of in the Funkiverse. Of course, the strip Billy shared harkens back to the “gag-a-day” days. It’s one of Batiuk’s “early, funny ones.”  The decision to take the strip in a thought-provoking, sensitive, “reality-based” direction meant that he could no longer get away with this kind of zaniness. Unless he framed it as the work of 40-year-old sophomores Pete and Darin. Does Batiuk ever miss that old strip of his? You bet.

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Push ’em Back, Push ’em Back, Way-y-y-y Back

beckoningchasm
September 13, 2018 at 7:50 am
Actually, this is a big step forward for Batiuk. Instead of showing the lead up and aftermath of an event, he’s actually showing stuff during the event. Admittedly he’s showing the onlookers, and it’s done in a stupid comic strip, but I’d still say this is progress.

Guess you all know how this is going to turn out. Even Batiuk knows he can’t get away with Bull’s record being allowed to stand after all. But anything can happen in a cartoon, right? Here’s where the ol’ “tell, don’t show” storytelling style comes in handy, because outside of the Marx Brothers, the Three Stooges, or movies like M*A*S*H or The Waterboy, it’s kind of hard to imagine the ball carrier being forced to “give ground” to the tune of minus 99 yards.

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Workin’ in a Goal Mine

beckoningchasm
September 11, 2018 at 10:45 pm
Pretty sure that third guy is supposed to be Funky. Because, who the hell cares.

Batiuk sure doesn’t, and I guess you’re right: Big Walnut Buck wouldn’t refer to the ‘Goats as “our team.” When have we ever seen Funky this fired up over a football game? Over anything? He’s sporting the same maniacal expression we saw on Bull’s face as he was leaving Jerome T. Bushka A&L Automotive Stadium Scapegoat Field last week.

If “our” running back has surpassed Bull’s record by 99 yards then he already has a hundred-yard game; a 142-yard game to be precise. Sophomoric Bull can barely watch, while Sophomoric Linda just keeps getting hotter.

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Advise-a-Bull

One of the perks of being a retired Westview faculty member, I guess, is unfettered access to all areas of the campus. You’d think that an athlete who’s just set a new team record might be surrounded by teammates and well-wishers, but here’s #31 just sitting alone at his locker, still in uniform, savoring his accomplishment until Bull can manage to make his way down from the cheap seats.

“Have you got any advice for me?” Sure!

“Don’t take up tennis! You’ll need to buy two rackets!”

“Don’t take up jogging! You’ll keep running into Funky and Les!”

“Better get started on the Rogaine, your hairline’s receding almost as much as mine!”

 

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Impermanent Record

Today’s strip serves no purpose whatsoever aside from moving us one day closer to the end of this “story” arc, and to Funky’s 50th anniversary, and to Tom Batiuk’s retirement. Buck’s inane question receives an inane answer from Bull, and everyone smirks. I just can’t get over the fact that had Buck not invited the Bushkas, Bull would be sitting unawares in his basement instead of in the nosebleed seats as his decades-old rushing record is challenged.

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Rush to Judgment

Mighty white of Linda to allow Bull out of the basement in order to witness his rushing record being surpassed. “Buck never knew” Bull held the record, and yet showed up at Bull’s house when it was on the verge of being broken. I guess whoever succeeded Bull as Westview High’s football coach and athletic director “never knew” or “didn’t care” enough to consider inviting the Bushkas to be present for this occasion. We know Buck’s been (inexplicably) diagnosed with chronic traumatic encephalopathy, but has he also suffered a stroke? In addition to his absent-mindedness regarding Bull’s record, he’s talking out of the right side of his mouth.

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Buck Stops Here

Happy Labor Day, kids, and a hearty thank you to billytheskink for helming these last couple weeks!

God damn you, Tom Batiuk.

Three weeks of buildup to the Coming Alumni Band Reunion, two of those spent in the car with Funky, Holly, and her awful mom. Then a week of “practice” which takes place entirely off-camera. Followed by yesterday’s mawkish, verbose, and seemingly out of sequence Sunday strip, and then…do we at long last get to chuckle at the spectacle of an elderly, oxygen-huffing marching band? We do not. We get nothing, we lose, good day, sir!

And of all the dangling plot threads to pick up, TB decides to trot out Buck Bedlow, showing up as he always does, unannounced, at the Bushka residence. Buck, you’ll recall, showed up a year ago, to facilitate Bull’s rehabilitation from bullying, belligerent gridiron failure to enfeebled, doddering legend. The two erstwhile rivals reenacted their gridiron glories on Bull’s lawn. After they viewed Dinkle’s video demonstrating that Bull did indeed get the ball over the goal line on the last play of his last game, Buck presented Bull with a framed, fake sports page touting Westview’s “win.” This was followed by a trip to snow-covered Scapegoat Field to dig up a piece of turf from the end zone.

Bull’s wife Linda seemed to appreciate the visits, but probably thought she’d seen the last of Buck that night he revealed that he was in the same state of mental decline as her husband. But Buck was back a couple weeks later. And now that football season’s underway and the leaves are falling (hurtling, actually, judging by panel 1), here he is again. Linda doesn’t even attempt to hide her disdain.

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