“Har har har! Remember your old school’s slipshod approach to player safety and medical care? Yuk yuk yuk!”. If their high school was such a poorly-funded nightmare why do they all remember it so fondly? One minute Batom is “thoughtfully” tackling the football head injury epidemic, the next he’s chuckling over the macabre image of an injured child being lugged off the field in a wheelbarrow. What a sicko.
Tag Archives: football
“Then there was the time” = “I have given up all pretense of being a writer”. Again, he COULD be doing these jokes as straight-up Bull football gags but because he ruined the Bull character he can’t and thus must rely on awful, awful contrivances and really cheap dialog to bring his witticisms to fruition, let’s say. Buck is still pounding away on his hapless pal, doing everything he can to ensure that Bull’s last football memories will be depressing ones. Maybe it’s just the artist but there’s a certain mean-spiritedness to this Buck asshole, he’s like Dinkle without the cutesy sardonic irony thing he does. And I certainly don’t recall anyone demanding that.
And when the QB called for a play requiring an empty backfield, the players all ran toward the unused “back field” behind the cafeteria. Did you ever notice how “quarterback” and “cornerback” sound sort of similar? That sure is confusing. And did you ever notice those commercials they play during the Super Bowl? They sure are something. Why, sometimes they’re even more entertaining than the game!
It’d be so refreshing if Bull just punched Buck in the mouth and told him to get the f*ck out of his house. Unfortunately, though, it’s a 100% certainty that he’ll continue to meekly sit there and take it as Buck craps all over his rapidly-fading high school memories because Westviewians don’t get mad, they get wry. In fact, that inbred wryness probably explains why the Scapegoats were always so shitty. Well, that and Bull’s awful coaching.
Here’s where I’m obliged to point out that these “remember when?” retconned memories wouldn’t be necessary if BatWrite hadn’t ruined the Bull character for no discernible reason. Just like with Dinkle and his band gags, Bull could have done football jokes into infinity if only Batom had refrained from giving him a degenerative brain disorder, a disorder that apparently hasn’t even visibly manifested itself yet. Just like with Dinkle’s hearing loss (and Morty’s dementia and Lisa’s death), Bull doesn’t seem any different or worse for wear yet, leaving the reader to wonder why BatBore even bothered with that dopey half-assed CTE arc in the first place. Instead of just doing six football gags, he has to do six gags about old football gags he used to do, which explains why 99.999% of the population has no idea what “Funky Winkerbean” even means.
Yes Tom. The Scapegoats used to be abysmal, Dinkle used to be zany and Holly used to explode a lot. Hearing the now-elderly characters reminiscing about Act I sure brings back memories, memories I’ve already forgotten. Buck, who most likely doesn’t have another friend in the world, suddenly decides to start razzing a clearly insulted Bull all for the sake of perpetuating Bull’s endless karmic comeuppance. Simply hilarious. I certainly hope this isn’t leading toward an entire week of “boy our team sure did used to suck” gags but sadly it appears to be inevitable now.
There’s probably a more banal and even moldier observation to be made about the plethora of televised college football bowl games on New Year’s Day but for the love of everything I hold dear I can’t think of one right now and neither can you. Linda has been married to that addle-brained dunderpate for half a million years, surely she didn’t just totally forget that New Year’s Day is traditionally packed with college football bowl games. Because that would be, you know, really stupid.
Today’s strip was not available for preview. Rumor among industry insiders is it was pulled at the last minute when editors realized it was an extremely explicit and detailed portrayal of Les and Cayla engaging in their traditional “Les and Lisa” roleplaying. Those in the know say that the original strip and all its printings have been burned, and the ashes dumped into the deepest part of the sea. Those unfortunate enough to witness the strip are being given the best counseling and seeing eye dogs available.
So here’s today’s strip. You know what is one of the best things about comics as a medium? I’d say it’s how you can pair funny or engaging writing with exciting, dynamic visuals. Or you can just have two unattractive people in a bland, boring house stare silently at a TV while you copy and paste in jokes from “Funniest Football Banter of All Time, Volume 3”.
Coming up tomorrow-the nightmare continues, only this time with the talented and witty Epicus Doomus in charge!
Yet another tip of the ol’ SoSF fedora to billytheskink for reminding us yesterday that this kind of wacky circumstance is by no means unheard of in the Funkiverse. Of course, the strip Billy shared harkens back to the “gag-a-day” days. It’s one of Batiuk’s “early, funny ones.” The decision to take the strip in a thought-provoking, sensitive, “reality-based” direction meant that he could no longer get away with this kind of zaniness. Unless he framed it as the work of 40-year-old sophomores Pete and Darin. Does Batiuk ever miss that old strip of his? You bet.