Tag Archives: post office

Post Offal

Link To Today’s Strip

I don’t know what happened to him at his mid-central Ohio post office of choice but judging by his unrelenting hate for the USPS I’d be willing to wager that it was quite unpleasant and inconvenient. But putting his terrible trauma and lifelong grudge aside for a moment, it IS the post office, not the Make Tom’s Day office. You go in, you do your mail business and you leave. Sometimes there’s a line and sometimes the employee you deal with is a real dick. We’ve all been there and we all stew over it during the walk back to the car, but then we (meaning normal people) forget about it almost immediately. In other words, he really needs to get the f*ck over it already. It’s Christmas for God’s sake.

20 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Baturday

Gerard Plourde
June 20, 2019 at 11:59 pm
We don’t see it, of course, but I’m enjoying the thought that Darin bought “a bunch” of 2006 commemorative stamps featuring The Flash.

A very good guess indeed, and certainly close enough. Sure, Darin makes a big display of sending his beard wife an “I Care” package,  but he doesn’t forget to come back from the P.O. with a little something for his real life partner. It’s $9.80 well spent, too: just look at Pete’s flesh-colored eyeballs sparkling with delight.

12 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Stamp Buy Me

By this point, the postal clerk is just cracking himself up with all the P.O. bashing. I’m surprised at Darin having the foresight to purchase a “bunch” of stamps. He’s denying himself future opportunities to stand in line and bitch about all the “old people.”

24 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Change for the Worst

Today’s strip:

August 3, 2018:

Today’s strip and this week’s arc continue to practically mirror those of last August. Again, for those of you who’ve recently started reading Funky Winkerbean:  even given FW’s elastic, nonsensical reckoning of time, Darin Fairgood has got to be at least forty years old, which many would consider “young” (certainly younger than me). But it’s unlikely that his presence at a postal counter would raise any eyebrows. What the hell’s with the 72-year-old Batiuk’s contempt for old people, the post office, and old people at the post office? Anyway, I happen to think that “a wallet that has a change purse” sounds pretty cool, and clearly, Darin thinks so too.

22 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

I Stand in Line

Today’s strip:

August 21, 2018:

As we saw in the previous Skyler arc, Chuck Ayers (as with Batiuk when he was drawing this strip) appears to be simply incapable of drawing cute, appealing children (Burchett wasn’t good at it either). But there is no cartoonist better at depicting decrepit senior citizens than the man who inked Crankshaft for 30 years! Just look at the array of codgers (including the cartoonist himself, with cap, classes, and grey beard) in today’s strip, and in the very similar one-paneler from less than a year ago. Looks like Darin’s chosen to visit another of Cleveland’s 20 or so P.O.’s, but at least he’s remembered to wear his light blue “Going to the post office” shirt.

11 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Like I Care

Having satisfied her simian sexual appetites, as well as getting in a “bonding moment” with her child, Jessica has hastened back to L.A.—the world must not be made to wait any longer for that very important Butter Brinkel documentary! She’s probably been back in town barely long enough to unpack her suitcase; long enough to compel Darin to show his “caring” by sending her a package. Rather, “one of” his packages, which suggests this is a thing with him. Batiuk persists in depicting Darin and Jessica as these two starry eyed, young sweethearts, tragically kept apart by their respective, oh-so-important careers.

12 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Perish the Prat

Link to today’s strip.

Okay, that envelope looks as thick as one holding five (or so) pieces of paper.  Definitely less than ten.  Since Dullard was going to send “some” of Atomik Komix (gah) latest issues to Jessica, what exactly are they producing in that office?  I’m thinking, something not really worth the effort to print and mail.

Which leads me to this.  I’ve got the persistent feeling the whole Atomik Komix (gahk!) scenario is nothing more than a fever dream concocted by Dullard, who is currently in a coma in some hospital room.  Jess pushed him out the window when she discovered he was going to waste needed money on the Flash Museum (or selling comic book art to benefit Lisa), and he fell three stories.  Unfortunately for all of us, he landed on his least vulnerable spot–his head–and instead of dying instantly, he has been on life-support since.  Jess and Skyler have long since abandoned him, and are living life to the fullest in LA, while he lies in bed dreaming of comic books.

Oh, and this is bad news for Pete, since that means Mindy’s affection for him is also imaginary (which it would be in the real world).

As for the art, I put it to you that Dullard in panel 2 is just as stranglable as Les was last Sunday.  In fact, I’m having a hard time resisting my throttling hand….  MUST CRUSH MONITO

13 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Seven Years (In One Night)

Link to today’s strip.

See, this is what happens when you half-ass it.

Tom Batiuk had this hilarious joke about how only old people use the post office, but he lost that joke somewhere on his desk, so we got this one instead:

Because it might have been “okay” if the length of time was a week, or a month, but if it was a year?  Man, the laughs just don’t stop.  Mainly because they never start.

The problem seeps in when we look at what he wrote on the 31st of July.

So, the “always like” seems to imply that he’s done this more than once.  But the “this year” above seems to imply that he only does it once a year or so.

Which means that Jessica is still in Los Angeles, while Dullard has been in Cleveland for a year.

Or, what I think is more likely, Jessica has jettisoned his sorry ass and is living a successful life elsewhere, and Dullard just likes to “pretend” he has a relationship.

Either way, it makes Dullard look bad, so thumbs up from me!

PS:  Speaking of artwork, it almost looks like Commissioner Gordon from the Tim Burton Batman movies checking his watch, and is that Chuck Ayers himself in the beard?

15 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Waiting in Line at the River Styx

Link to today’s strip.

Well, Dullard’s li’l quip would have been quite the knee-slapper…in 1998, say.   Nowadays, it reads a lot like Pluggers.   Actually, it reads like a school-assigned book one has to write a report on for homework; yes, that dull.   Yes, everyone uses email, but there are still long lines at the post office?  For something people rarely use?  Is this the joke?

It reminds me of Mel Brook’s old joke about two old ladies in a restaurant.  “The food here is so terrible!”  “Yes…and such small portions!”  Except that, you know, that’s actually humorous.  (Edit:  Apparently that was Woody Allen.  Whoops!)

Art-wise, well, we sure have a nice line of decrepit folks depicted here (and yes, I’m including Dullard).  Nice to see Walt from the nursing home out and about.  And if you’re wondering why the old guy in the brown striped shirt looks seriously pissed off, well, it’s obvious: he’s been standing next to Dullard for a while now, having to listen to some truly moronic “observations.”   I’m normally a pretty easy-going person out in public, but even I’d probably turn around and say, “Hey, pal, can you pipe down a little?  I’m trying to listen to the Muzak.”

19 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Losing Track

Programming note: SoSF’s 7th Anniversary draws nigh! In honor of the occasion, we’ve brought back the “randomized page headers” that were such a hit a year ago. Enjoy, and stay tuned for an anniversary giveaway! Stay Funky.


The series of inconvenient events continues
as Dinkle and Dinklette must travel somewhere outside of Westview to a town that still has a post office. And what at what post office/bureau of motor vehicles/doctor’s office/retail store/fitness center/old folks home in the Funkiverse are you not greeted by a miserable, sarcastic, unattractive person who proceeds to insult you to your face?

16 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky