Tag Archives: Pineapple computers

Gone To Starseed

Link to today’s strip

We’ve been learning too much this week. All of us! The comments have been crammed with factoids about vinyl and Marvel, basketball and Bolsheviks, GI Joe and Ohio, lounge singers and long sandwiches.

And today, we learn that every atom in our bodies with an atomic number higher than hydrogen was originally forged in the heart of our universe’s first stars.

And due to the carbon cycle, probably every cell of our body is full of recycled shit. Just like this strip.

So, for everyone’s viewing pleasure, I have random panels of Stardust The Super Wizard and his weird tiny head and single facial expression. I will trust our team of crack commenters to regale us with wonderful Fletcher Hanks factoids!

And, my personal favorite:

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Swoon at Noon

Last week’s running gag had Dinkle and Becky walking around reading signs. This week is shaping up to be a series of people letting themselves into the Atomik Komix office and being greeted with “Hey!” Superb draftsmanship today in panel 1: Kitch Swoon appears to be standing in the doorway of an airplane in flight, and Pete is so excited he’s morphed into Shemp Howard. Our colorist gives even less of a damn, leaving Ms. Swoon with white hair rather than the blonde hair she had when we met her last summer. At least Batiuk hasn’t altered or forgotten her name.

Silly monikers have been Funky Winkerbean‘s stock in trade for nearly a half century, from the title character and his friend “Less More,” to the late Coach “Jack Stropp” and forgotten teacher “Rita Wrighton.” These names were semi-witty, facile wordplay. But I’m at a loss to tease sense out of “Kitch [sic] Swoon.” She’s an artsy type for sure (she’s wearing a beret). Does she specialize in “tacky,” lowbrow, populist art? Does the sight of kitsch make her feel like she’s going to faint?

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My Spouse Lit A Fire Just The Other Day, Tried To Cook A Pizza In An Unusual Way*

Link To Today’s Strip

* Nope, not letting it go.

Linda reading Batiuk’s NYT interview.

“And then I asked my cognitively impaired husband for a bite. So he bit me! (rimshot)”. Apparently Linda’s online support group is all about one-upmanship and exchanging daffy anecdotes about who’s got it worse. Sounds real helpful. No wonder she’s so miserable all the time, even her “my husband is so cognitively impaired…” gags aren’t that good. Leave it to Linda to find the wryest support group on the internet. In any other support group she’d undoubtedly be the wryest by far, but not this one.

“Take my CTE-afflicted husband…please! Why did my CTE-afflicted husband cross the road? He doesn’t remember! But seriously folks, is this thing on?”

This weird mix of weak sad gags and unbearable human misery has always been FW’s stock in trade but man, it sure does take a terrible toll on the readers. Perhaps he feels that by zany-ing things up a little it’ll increase the dramatic impact when Bull dies. And maybe it would have, if he didn’t go and spoil the whole story for no good reason like an imbecile. But alas, we’ll never know.

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And The Laundry’s A Hassle And The Game Film Is Too But It’s Sure Nice Talking To You, Group, It’s Sure Nice Talking To You*

Link To Today’s Strip

* When I find a post title theme I like I stick with it, dammit.

Ooooh-fa. Yet another poorly-placed and totally unnecessary joke that just kills the Very Serious mood here. While endlessly doing laundry and watching old football games is somewhat disturbing behavior, it COULD be worse, you know. I mean why not have friends and neighbors drop off their laundry and slip it into Bull’s daily wash pile? Monetize it, Linda! And it’s not like he’s wagering on those old football games, he’s just watching them. And seriously, is that all that much different than what pre-CTE Bull would have done? Methinks not. Anyhow, Batiuk is once again just treading water here until the Big Payoff, which will apparently consist of Bull killing himself to spare his long-suffering wife the burden of unnecessary appliance repairs. This comic strip really goes to some dark, dark places sometimes.

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Rage Against The Wry-ing Of The Light

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I suppose one could make the argument that this installment does actually move the story forward, albeit very slightly. I mean one COULD make that argument, but let’s be real here…no one will. Anyhow the real issue here is the incredibly annoying way that Linda feels compelled to make these dumb feeble jokes to punctuate everything she says. An “anger board of directors”…yeah, hilarious. Would their also be anger stockholders who receive quarterly anger dividends too? It’s supposed to be a Very Serious story yet BatYak just can’t holster the wry wordplay for even a day. I mean come on, no actual people speak (or type or think) like this. What’s next, a gag about Bull being “tackled for a memory loss”? (If he uses that one I will demand compensation). It’s interesting how he supposedly DOES have an editor yet no one ever stops him and says “hey, maybe tone down the wordplay a little and just do some plain old dialog for once”. Sigh.

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Fear And Self-Pity In Westview

Link To Today’s Strip

Uh, it’s called “moral support”, Linda. It “helps” you by connecting with others in similar situations. If the other people in the support group could magically help you, they probably would have already helped themselves too, thus they wouldn’t need a support group. See how that works?

Well, if you thought the Big Moment was coming anytime soon, guess again sucker, because it looks like we’re in for a week of typing. It’s typically Batiukian how Linda’s last-ditch Hail Mary plea to the NFL represented her last glimmer of hope, as in the Funkyverse it’s always something and it’s never, ever your fault. One thing I find baffling is how the entire town just totally deserted Bull after he retired. No one wanted to organize a fund raiser or help Linda mow the lawn? Could his multi-decade tenure as head sports coach and athletic director really have made THAT little of an impact? Wait…don’t answer that.

Coming tomorrow: FW at long last answers the question that’s been plaguing FW scholars since Darin found out the identity of his birth mother, that being is watching a FW character opening and reading mail more interesting, less interesting or equally as interesting as watching them type on a laptop computer?

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One Mere Monday

Link to today’s strip.

Monday’s strip was not available for preview.  I’m going to guess it’ll be the start of the threatened “Funky-Crankshaft” crossover, and it will involve Pete and Mindy going to the state fair.  There, they’ll talk about how melancholy it all is.

Sorry for pulling a Batiukian move like this, but I’ve got early morning work tomorrow and can’t stay late enough for the thing to drop.

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Sunday, July 21

Link to today’s strip.

Okay, so apparently the documentary is done now.  If last week really was the conclusion to the Butter storyline that’ll be pretty amazing.

I honestly don’t think I’ve ever seen a coffee shop that served ice cream.  And does anyone else feel like Batiuk has been pushing that Darin and Jessica are in love with each other a little too hard lately?  I kind of feel like maybe he took the comments about Darin and Pete’s relationship and is trying to prove everyone wrong.  “So what if Darin and Pete ran off to the Flash Museum together to buy dollies, look how horny Jess and Darin are for each other!  And Pete has a girlfriend now!”

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How Can You Be in Two Places at Once When You’re Not Anywhere at All?

Welcome to the Baldo crossover you never asked for. Behold the Fairgoods’ thought-provoking and sensitive  solution to the contemporary issue of being separated by work: why should Jessica work remotely on Cindy’s documentary, living with her husband and her preschooler, when she can parent remotely, thanks to a telepresence robot? Oh, those wacky fortysomething millennials!

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Baturday

Gerard Plourde
June 20, 2019 at 11:59 pm
We don’t see it, of course, but I’m enjoying the thought that Darin bought “a bunch” of 2006 commemorative stamps featuring The Flash.

A very good guess indeed, and certainly close enough. Sure, Darin makes a big display of sending his beard wife an “I Care” package,  but he doesn’t forget to come back from the P.O. with a little something for his real life partner. It’s $9.80 well spent, too: just look at Pete’s flesh-colored eyeballs sparkling with delight.

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