Tag Archives: Funky

by | August 3, 2019 · 10:30 pm

I’ve Got A Feeling I Don’t Want To Know

Link to today’s strip (eventually).

Sunday’s strip was–surprise!–unavailable for preview (although this is normal on Sundays.  Or perhaps I should say, “normal.”)

This marks the fourth time I’ll have to spin something from nothing during this stint.  How lucky can a guy be?

Using my precognition powers, however, I can preview Monday’s, and I’m going to issue a big red alert, WARNING: LARK’S VOMIT.

As for today’s, I assume that the “AK gallery showing” wrapped up with Saturday’s episode, because otherwise Batiuk would have to *gulp* *choke* show something happening.  Horrors!  So what will Sunday be?

I’ll guess “unrelated to anything else,” because that seems to be the go-to move these days…though Batiuk does enjoy “shaking things up” now and then, by which I mean, making them more boring, so who really knows?  It’s been so long since we’ve seen Funky and Les running!

Of course, since he really loves showering praise on his awful characters, it might be a recap of the “Dullard’s art is so awesome it should be in a museum” blech.  Excuse me while I vomit.

I’m back.  Anyway, no matter what, we know what it won’t be–funny, insightful, well put-together or interesting in any sense.  Wow, Tom Batiuk…you’ve really let yourself go.

PS: The titles of my last several Sunday entries are lines from the Velvet Underground’s “Sunday Morning.”  Today’s is frighteningly apt.

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by | July 28, 2019 · 9:05 am

Veally Lame

This strip is another in the long line of Batiuk Sunday strips that really only need to be two panels. And like usual for Batiuk, it’s a really weak joke. Mommy bag, ha ha. I kind of doubt Holly’s mom will be mentioned again anytime soon, since the only reason she is here is so Batiuk can deploy the hilarious gag he thought up. Although I really can see Holly and Funky going house shopping. That would be the right combination of tedious and misery inducing for this strip. And where are Holly and Funky eating? I thought for sure Westview just had Montoni’s and the Toxic Taco.

Thanks for putting up with me again!  Beckoning Chasm takes over tomorrow.

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by | May 19, 2019 · 1:13 am

Spagettaboutit!

Link to today’s strip

Apologies for the late post. I decided to wait for the Sunday strip to drop, rather than blather on about something from earlier this week.

The last thing Funky needs is nutritional value. Given the weight he’s able to hold onto despite working out with a personal trainer, he must have the metabolism of a hibernating turtle.

Funky also seems to be suffering from a serious case of IMS. Irritable Male Syndrome. Spilling food on yourself often, as well as other issues with fine motor control, are probably a sign of some kind of tragic illness. Money on Parkinson’s.

Funky doesn’t take vitamins? They were paranoid enough about his health to take a trip to see a specialist together a couple years ago, but he doesn’t take a basic multivitamin? Way to go out on a limb for a non-joke.

Some really crisp linework in the strip today. No weird lobster hands, lots of detail, and weirdly dramatic shading. I mean, look at the detail out the window. And just an almost loving rendering of pasta noodles…mmmm….

Too bad the marinara looks like blood. Funky, you got red on you.

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by | May 5, 2019 · 1:11 am

Good advice that you just didn’t take

Montoni’s is busy in today’s strip! What? And Holly is flustered to the max and jealous of unhealthily self-conscious Cindy all the sudden*? Crazy!

Speaking of Crazy, his advice… isn’t ironic? I don’t know, actually, but I do know it’s been relevant to TB for decades. If only TB would take it one day.

Wait, Montoni’s is busy with regular FW cast members. Sheesh, this strip doesn’t even truly earn its “the rare Montoni’s customer” tag. This, THIS level of business has Holly frazzled and exhausted? She is as cut out for food service as Funky is for giving out marriage advice.

* Holly being self-conscious about her body hasn’t happened in a while, but to be fair, it actually isn’t new. It even goes back to when she was the other shoe.

Thanks for putting up with me and my blue tongue for the past two weeks. Thoughts and prayers for our next blogger…

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by | April 21, 2019 · 12:21 am

Funny Winter Bees Sounds Like a Hilarious Comic

So I can’t really tell what’s going on here. It seems like an attempted retcon, since Funky’s talking about all the stuff they used to pretend the computer would do, which high schoolers pretending this kind of stuff about a computer seems weird. But then you just have Funky mentioning the computer making claims about his existence. So was it sentient, or not? If it ever was then it’s basically a slave, which is troubling.
If Holtron was a sentient computer in the seventies, how is reprogramming it to respond to voice commands any kind of improvement. I can picture Batiuk asking his wife “Wouldn’t it be funny if Holtron was an Echo?”, his wife responding “Who or what is Holtron?” and him calling her a macaque and storming off to the garage.
What is Harry expecting to happen? You can’t really ask Echo or Siri to find a living person for you. The best part about this strip is that you could’ve changed the last panel so it heard him perfectly clear, and it would work even better.
“There’s nothing on the web about Funky Winkerbean.” Basically true.

Um, is Atomik Komix publishing a comic book about Funky? That seems insane for a lot of reasons. And really like something that should’ve come up in the strip. But it’s just Batiuk pushing his own products again, so whatever.

Coming up tomorrow-Billytheskink!

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by | April 19, 2019 · 10:30 pm

Wow, Stan Lee Dropped By

Today’s strip wasn’t available for preview, so I’m just guessing that involves a now very awkward appearance Stan Lee dropping by Atomik Komix and promising to do a signing at Komix Korner.

Does anyone doubt that the entire purpose of this week was this “gag” right here?  “Haha, I can have a crane company named after someone named Crane!  It’d be hilarious.  Hmm . . . what’s a plausible reason why someone in this strip would need a crane . . . I guess I could have Funky lifted out of his house because he’s so fat.  But no, I’ll save that for the finale . . . I’ve got it!  Comic books!  Someone could need to lift something heavy into the comic book store!”

If someone sent Batiuk a copy of “The Mammoth Book of Corny, Slightly Punny Names” I have a strong feeling he’d use it as material for the rest of his strip.  Stuff like this is what would be a background Easter egg in a Pixar movie that most people wouldn’t even notice.  But Batiuk tends to put it front and center and repeat it over and over.  “Get it?!  It’s funny!”  What are the odds we’re going to see “Buster’s Crabs” at least once the next time there’s a Hollywood arc?  And Crankshaft is doing a bowling story so I’m pretty sure we’ll be seeing “Margo Lanes” over and over.  I also look forward to the next couple of weeks, when they hire the “Frasier Crane Co.” to remove Holtron from the Komix Korner and the “Niles Crane Co.” to put it back in Atomik Komix (how did they not have any issues getting it down the multiple flights of stairs in that building?).

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by | April 5, 2019 · 10:31 pm

Silver-Tongued Drivel

Link To Today’s Banality

I’ve often joked that if BatYak’s glacially-paced little “stories” moved any slower they’d start unfolding backwards, but I never thought it’d actually happen. But here we are, witnesses to his most brazen labor-saving contrivance yet…starting already in-progress arcs from the beginning again. He just did it with the Bull arc and now he’s doing it again by pretending that Melinda is just arriving at Funky’s house now, even though we all know this not to be the case. This isn’t just another nit-picky continuity error, he’s omitting entire story lines and just starting them over again like they never happened, which sort of defeats the entire “serialized” format itself.

I did enjoy the askew lampshade, traditionally used to symbolize disorganization/squalor/disarray and/or askewicity. It’s a delightful little touch, one that really drives home the point of how Melinda is unpacking and moving in after just arriving from Florida. It’s unusual to see such attention to detail in a story that just totally ignored literally every other detail. Melinda’s brutally downbeat response to Funky’s musty old attempted gag is classic Batiuk too, as having her crack a smile might be construed as a development in their vaudevillian mother-in-law/son-in-law relationship and God forbid he lets any character growth slip through quality control, as it could invalidate his CK contract and force him into the book signing circuit full-time. And no one wants that.

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