Tag Archives: Darin

Make Like an Ape, Man

It’s my call and I have to tell you right now that covers with gorillas on them are total locks.

Tom Batiuk, 1/6/18

I doubt that today’s strip (or anything in Funky Winkerbean) accurately depicts the way comic books are produced in the real world…I mean, you come up with a “flagship title” after you’ve launched the company? I do think that what’s reflected here is Batiuk’s own creative process, wherein he paces the floor and muses out loud (or maybe TB’s got his own Cosmic Treadmill), before settling on some half-baked, flimsy premise, and then hollering “YESSSSSSSS!!!” so loudly as to attract the attention of passersby.

Speaking of comic books, guest author comicbookharriet serves up the snark for the next two weeks. Bon appetit!

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Safety Dance

Yet another tip of the ol’ SoSF fedora to billytheskink for reminding us yesterday that this kind of wacky circumstance is by no means unheard of in the Funkiverse. Of course, the strip Billy shared harkens back to the “gag-a-day” days. It’s one of Batiuk’s “early, funny ones.”  The decision to take the strip in a thought-provoking, sensitive, “reality-based” direction meant that he could no longer get away with this kind of zaniness. Unless he framed it as the work of 40-year-old sophomores Pete and Darin. Does Batiuk ever miss that old strip of his? You bet.

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Badly Drawn Bull

Rusty
September 10, 2018 at 7:00 am
Well, at least we know this week is going to be painful.

Looks like we’re in for a whole week of this “Sophomoric Sightings” bullshit. Today we learn that in four seasons of high school football, Bull Bushka amassed a record-setting total of forty-three yards. That’s not a per-game average, that’s his high school career total. It’s easy to see why college scouts were so interested. And this pathetic record of his held up for four decades.

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High School Madness

Yeah, th’ hell with having written for Marvel and DC, and having screenwritten a presumably successful Hollywood sci-fi epic and its sequel, and having been personally sought out to launch a new comics startup: what Pete really yearns for are those good old high school days.

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It’s Just the Wasted Years So Close Behind

Link to today’s strip.

So:  this makes a walloping four times a strip has been unavailable for preview during my latest hosting period.  That’s gotta be a record of some kind.

Of course, two of those times were Sundays, and Sunday’s strips are always unavailable for preview.  Because why should he give us time to point out the shortcomings practically leaping all over his work?

Over at Shankcraft, for example, Apple Annie is about to sign her first author:  Lillian.  But–

–didn’t Ann have Les as a client?  It seemed only a short eternity ago that Lillian was hosting Les’ launch party for his book about John Darling, who was murdered.  I thought the story was, Les, seeing as he and his book were both garbage, tossed his manuscript into the trash (where it belonged, and where it was happy*).  Ann, then a bag lady, fished it out (making it unhappy) and got it published (terrifying it), thus leading to the greatest display of egomania ever shown on the comics page.  Way to go, Ann.  Thanks (said all sarcastic-like).  But no, apparently continuity is for losers if you can score cheap points about schizophrenia.  It’s supposed to be touching, but it shoots right past maudlin and treacly and lands right in the middle of gorge-rising.

Why is it that Tom Batiuk is completely incapable of creating sympathetic characters?  Does he think, “Well, she’s got a terrible mental condition, readers will love her, because they won’t dare not!”?  Someday I’d like to ask him about his methods, and I don’t mean that as something nasty.  I’m honestly curious about how his mind works.

Anyway, based on what’s coming next week (trust me, it’s not a superpower anyone wants), I’m thinking Sunday will be a stand-alone strip.  I’m going to take stab and guess Funky’ll be in it.  But who knows?  All we can really say is that it will be uninteresting in every aspect.

And speaking of next week, my time in the chamber of horrors has come to an end, for now, so please give a warm welcome to your next host, snarker extraordinare Epicus Doomus!

*I have an idea about a children’s book, about a manuscript that knows it’s bad, and wants to be thrown away, but it keeps getting passed from hand to hand until it’s published.  It has a happy ending, in that no one buys it and the author never tries again.  Does anyone have Ann Apple’s phone number?

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Perish the Prat

Link to today’s strip.

Okay, that envelope looks as thick as one holding five (or so) pieces of paper.  Definitely less than ten.  Since Dullard was going to send “some” of Atomik Komix (gah) latest issues to Jessica, what exactly are they producing in that office?  I’m thinking, something not really worth the effort to print and mail.

Which leads me to this.  I’ve got the persistent feeling the whole Atomik Komix (gahk!) scenario is nothing more than a fever dream concocted by Dullard, who is currently in a coma in some hospital room.  Jess pushed him out the window when she discovered he was going to waste needed money on the Flash Museum (or selling comic book art to benefit Lisa), and he fell three stories.  Unfortunately for all of us, he landed on his least vulnerable spot–his head–and instead of dying instantly, he has been on life-support since.  Jess and Skyler have long since abandoned him, and are living life to the fullest in LA, while he lies in bed dreaming of comic books.

Oh, and this is bad news for Pete, since that means Mindy’s affection for him is also imaginary (which it would be in the real world).

As for the art, I put it to you that Dullard in panel 2 is just as stranglable as Les was last Sunday.  In fact, I’m having a hard time resisting my throttling hand….  MUST CRUSH MONITO

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Seven Years (In One Night)

Link to today’s strip.

See, this is what happens when you half-ass it.

Tom Batiuk had this hilarious joke about how only old people use the post office, but he lost that joke somewhere on his desk, so we got this one instead:

Because it might have been “okay” if the length of time was a week, or a month, but if it was a year?  Man, the laughs just don’t stop.  Mainly because they never start.

The problem seeps in when we look at what he wrote on the 31st of July.

So, the “always like” seems to imply that he’s done this more than once.  But the “this year” above seems to imply that he only does it once a year or so.

Which means that Jessica is still in Los Angeles, while Dullard has been in Cleveland for a year.

Or, what I think is more likely, Jessica has jettisoned his sorry ass and is living a successful life elsewhere, and Dullard just likes to “pretend” he has a relationship.

Either way, it makes Dullard look bad, so thumbs up from me!

PS:  Speaking of artwork, it almost looks like Commissioner Gordon from the Tim Burton Batman movies checking his watch, and is that Chuck Ayers himself in the beard?

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