Tag Archives: real people in Ohio

Batiuk’s Level of Preparation is Low

Today’s strip could’ve been one of my favorites ever if the third panel had depicted the director acting the way a real human being would, by telling Dinkle to sit down and shut the *#@% up. I do find it extremely hilarious that the World’s Greatest Band Director Harry L. Dinkle isn’t directing this band. Especially considering that the guy who was chosen to lead it seems to be missing a chunk of his head, possibly in an accident suffered while marching in the rain.
Oh, and apparently Mike Sewell was a real band director that is being honored in the parade this year. I feel like 99% of the readers of this strip would just assume he was another character in this strip and not give it a second thought. I also think it would be nice if Batiuk had highlighted Sewell a little bit more rather than making this all about Dinkle.


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Take a Pass Too, Batiuk

Wine with DeWine“. I had no idea what this was supposed to mean until I searched and realized that’s the name of the governor of Ohio. I’m not sure if Batiuk thinks that everyone reading this strip will both remember that it takes place in Ohio and immediately recognize the Ohio governor’s name, or maybe he realizes that nobody outside the state (or his house) pays attention to the strip anymore.
I still have no idea what this is supposed to mean, actually. I’m guessing he’s talking about drinking wine while watching the governor’s press conferences (I have a strong suspicion that this entire “Funky gripes at an AA meeting” storyline was created just because Batiuk thinks it’s funny that “DeWine” sounds like “wine”), but I’d like to think that mister “Not to do” was just hanging out with the governor on a regular basis at his shuttered restaurant.
Also, what work was Funky doing alone in an empty restaurant that was closed for months that he couldn’t do from home?


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

My Heroes Have Always Been Band Directors

Big ups to Epicus Doomus for the last two weeks of posts. In addition to crafting great posts and post titles, Epicus manages the guest author rotation and is my right hand man around here. Without him, there would be no SoSF.

In a rare bit of Funky fortuitousness, today’s strip involves alfresco dining, an activity that’s more popular right now than it’s ever been.  What at first appears to be an old married couple in panel 1’s aerial perspective turns out to be Harry Dinkle and a friend. Judging from how non-generically the other gent is rendered here, he must also be a real-life friend of Batiuk and/or Ayers.

I donned my PPE and took a deep dive into the Act II archives for a refresher about the circumstances surrounding Dinkle’s “retirement.” Near the end of Act II, Becky Winkerbean, as she was known then, took over as band director  when Dinkle was promoted to WHS’ music supervisor. His actual retirement happened “offscreen,” during the second 10 year time jump. Shortly thereafter, his beleaguered wife Harriet pleaded with, and possibly bribed, the school board president to install Harry as director of the performing arts center that bore his name, just to get him out of the house. It’s doubtful whether that director role entails hanging around the high school and basically serving as Becky’s co-band director. Look at him smirk in panel 3 at his friend’s quip. Harry Dinkle doesn’t know the meaning of retirement. No, seriously…he doesn’t know the meaning of retirement.


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Tongue Tied and Twistered

October 30, 2018 at 9:06 am
…If the Funkyverse was in Kansas, then this would be a mere Tornado Siren Test and nobody would raise an eyebrow…

timbuysOctober 30, 2018 at 4:24 pm
I grew up in Illinois. We had (still do? I dunno) those. Growing up, I can recall at least two times when they went off for the real deal. The second time was when I was on my college’s quad with some friends…

Finally somebody stops to check on the still-hunkered down study buddies, who in the wake of the perceived threat have progressed from quarreling to finishing each other’s sentences. Buddy continues to minister to his master by licking his hand. Buddy, by the way, has been in Wally’s life for nearly eight years; so long in fact that his once golden fur has turned gray.


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Grood Zeb

Link to Today’s Comic.

I think that positivity is an important element of growth. No matter how bad something is, pointing out the good things hopefully gives a foundation for improvement. So, in that light, I am going to use The Sandwich Method, so named because the pieces of bread represent positive feedback/compliments while the meat of the sandwich (or innards if you’re vegetarian) represents constructive criticism.

Bottom slice. The art today is pretty good. The human actually looks human, with no bulbous nose or drooping eyes. The action is dynamic and the background is detailed.

Meat of Criticism: Once again….comics bagged and boarded are colored as if they’re in unmarked Manila envelopes instead of plastic. This makes it look like our protagonist has stayed late to sort his porn.

Top slice of compliments. By Batiukian standards, Rusty Staples isn’t the WORST name they could have come up with. I’ve known several men, (most older than 50) with the name Rusty. And it rolls off the tongue leaps and bounds better than Cliff Angere or Masone Jarre. It’s comics related without being something like, Varence Covar or Polly Bagg.

Olive and toothpick. I’ve been puzzling over the name of the store for hours. What could it be? GROOMED ZEBU? GROOVY ZEB’S? GROUP ZEBRA?

Ground Zero.

The comics shop name is Ground Zero.

I take it back. I take the bread back. There is only the wet slimy coldcuts of criticism here…because Ground Zero is the most offensive name for a shop since a Christmas outlet called Holly Costs No More.


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

That Obscure Object of Desire

Link to today’s strip.

You thought I was kidding yesterday.  Well, take a look at that maniacal expression fixed to Holly’s face.  That’s the face of someone in the grip of an obsession.  I can just see it now, she thinks, I can start the quest all over again–only with ashcan comics!  Then I can start again, on all the foreign editions!  And after that–

Once again, Holly gets what she wants with no (apparent to her) cost or effort.  What a lesson for us all.  “If you want something in life, just be a pathetic loser, and people will give it to you!”

As for Dickhead John, panel two is what you get when you insist on getting your hair cut at that comic-themed barber shop that’s tilted like a Batman villain’s lair from the old TV show.  Poor drawing at its best.

And I bet panel three is what you get from John when someone is actually dying from a heart attack.  C’mon, you old faker, you’re taking way too much attention away from me.

These people should all be buried in lava.

Sorry about being kind of half with-it this week, folks.  There’s only so many things you can write about vanilla ice cream.


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Ash Friday

Link to today’s strip.

I have no idea how accurate any of this is; it would seem to me that a pencil version of a comic would be so early in the process that copyrighting it would be rather premature.  Supposedly, Jack Kirby would pencil marvelously (no pun intended) detailed landscapes in Thor and Vince Colleta would just cover them in black because he didn’t feel like inking all those details (source: Ronin Ro’s book on Lee and Kirby, Tales to Astonish).

Ordinarily, I’d defer to Tom Batiuk’s knowledge of the comic book process, but since he stumbled rather badly recently, he’s no longer my “go to” guy on this.

But this, all this, is missing the larger point.

Yesterday, Holly finally got the last issue she needed to complete Cory’s collection.   And there was much rejoicing.  Finally, this damned thing is OVER.

Today…well, she’s still looking through the comic boxes.  She has no real reason to do so….

You know what that means, right?  This isn’t over. 

No, now that she’s completed the Starbuck Jones run…now she has to find the “ashcan” versions, because of course Cory would have a great interest in obscure means to control copyright.  And of course she’ll also have to search for all the Giant Size Starbuck Jones, the digest-size reprint books, the crossover titles (Starbuck Jones meets The Kool Aid Man, Starbuck Jones versus Toyman), and on and on and on.

Listen, and understand. That Starbuck Jones quest is out there. It can’t be bargained with. It can’t be reasoned with. It doesn’t feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are dead.


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Break A Leg

Link to today’s strip.

Ron Jeremy’s Tony [Isabella]’s overacting ought to tip off anyone that the fix was in, but Holly, being Holly, remains oblivious.  Dickhead John smirks from the back, having made fools of two of his friends.  What a special day for him!

The question here is this–

Will Holly actually pay that quarter, or will she insist on getting the issue for free, because Cory Winkerbean?


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Workin’ on My Dick Moves

Link to today’s strip.

Wow.  Just wow.

Just when you think a character can’t possibly be more of a dick, he descends into a full-blown scumbag.

Maybe I’m overreacting to this, but John knows Holly wanted that issue.  She spent the money to go across country to Comic Con, and hunted for that issue.  Got really upset when she couldn’t get that issue.  Even went back to an empty hall, hoping to find that issue.

She had no other purpose at Comic Con.  I’m sure they probably showed the teaser trailer for the upcoming Starbuck Jones movie, and instead she rode around in a little cart.

And now John wants to have a little fun for himself, at Holly’s expense.   How long had he had that issue with him?  A couple of days, I’m guessing.  I guess he was really just enjoying all her worry and anxiety, as well as a totally unnecessary trip to Tony [Isabella]’s house.   Or maybe he wanted revenge for having to do all that pedaling.

I’m sure Tom Batiuk and his various pseudonyms would say, “Oh, come on, it’s just a harmless bit of fun,” but I disagree.  It seems to be much deeper, and much darker, than that.

You think you really dislike these characters, then they do something to make you realize you’ve barely scratched the surface.


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky