Tag Archives: band directing

Global Band-emic

Link To Today’s

Harry motherf*cking Dinkle…the one FW character who sends a shudder of total disgust through every SoSF guest host, each and every time he rears his ugly, cackling head. “Band director”…the two most demoralizing words in the Funkyverse. And he’s with that other band director, you know the one I mean, that guy who’s based on someone, I think. It’s gonna be a long week, people.

And what’s with Funky’s alcoholism coming up all the time lately? Isn’t he anything else? I mean, the guy quit drinking a long time ago, he’s Westview’s number one businessman and the head of the local chamber of commerce. Plus his step-son just got married. So why can’t he talk about anything else?

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March Backwards Right off a Cliff, Please

So Dinkle is commenting on how he’s only seen the parade while marching backwards as a director. Which is odd for two reasons. I don’t think he’s ever directed the Rose Parade, because if he had I can guarantee we would have heard a ton about it this week. And also, as many people have pointed out, this isn’t Dinkle’s first time in this parade. It might be that Batiuk thought “Marching in the parade for the third time, this time with all those other band directors was an amazing experience, Harriet” was too clunky even for him, but I’m guessing he just forgot.

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A Flock of Egos

This strip actually does kind of amuse me a little, because it does actually seem to be poking fun at Dinkle’s self-image for once. Since I’ve started reading this strip, it seems like every time Dinkle is called the world’s greatest band director it’s meant to be totally accurate and sincere, which is just crazy.
I am amazed that Dinkle is apparently the only person in this entire band not wearing the uniform they’re supposed to. I’m sure the main reason is because Batiuk thinks the uniform is iconic like Superman’s cape and nobody would recognize Dinkle without it (even though he’s referring to himself by name). I just think it’s kind of funny that in this even honoring band directors you have this jerk who decided to just do his own thing and not listen to direction (and somehow wasn’t kicked out).

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Cutting Corners

Editor’s Note: Hey all, it’s TFH. With great power (the ability to peep upcoming strips) comes great responsibility. As pointed out in the comments, I got mixed up and provided a link to Thursday’s strip. Apologies to spacemanspiff85 and all y’all. As has also been mentioned in the comments, it really doesn’t affect the “narrative” all that much. The actual strip for today, Wednesday, Dec. 29th, is here. Feel free to snark on either or both. Thank you and happy holidays!

Is it me, or is today’s strip especially annoying, even by the standards of Batiuk? With no buildup at all you have a totally random guy who is apparently travelling with Harriet, asking her if they can cross a street to somewhere for some reason. Despite the fact that there’s obviously a parade like twenty feet away, but he somehow thinks they can just cut in front of it. And also despite the fact that I’m pretty sure the streets would be roped off so people couldn’t just wander into the road in front of the parade.
But it’s all worth it for the punchline of naming a street on the parade route. I don’t think anyone does more of a half-assed job of these “shout outs” than Batiuk. I really doubt anyone associated with the parade would read this and be thrilled that he knows the name of a street.
It’s like when a band calls out the name of the town they’re playing in, except instead of “Nobody rocks like . . . Springfield” someone just holds up a card with the name of the city, and it’s misspelled and upside down.

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Batiuk’s Level of Preparation is Low

Today’s strip could’ve been one of my favorites ever if the third panel had depicted the director acting the way a real human being would, by telling Dinkle to sit down and shut the *#@% up. I do find it extremely hilarious that the World’s Greatest Band Director Harry L. Dinkle isn’t directing this band. Especially considering that the guy who was chosen to lead it seems to be missing a chunk of his head, possibly in an accident suffered while marching in the rain.
Oh, and apparently Mike Sewell was a real band director that is being honored in the parade this year. I feel like 99% of the readers of this strip would just assume he was another character in this strip and not give it a second thought. I also think it would be nice if Batiuk had highlighted Sewell a little bit more rather than making this all about Dinkle.

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Il Dunce

Finally having a clear schedule after directing both the choir and the band at St. Spires’ Christmas Eve service, Dinkle has no time to rest as he prepares in today’s strip to march in the Tournament of Roses Parade with his fellow fans of fascist regalia band directors. Seems like this thing was announced years ago (about 6 months, actually), but I guess The World’s Greatest Band DirectorTM doesn’t need more than a week to prepare. He does, however, need a little help from the tailor… something Harriet realized 11 years ago (a time so long ago that Dinkle was watching recordings of his concerts on his flip phone).

What assuredly entertaining and engrossing things will Dinkle get up to in Pasadena? I don’t know, but it will be Spaceman Spiff who will guide us through them. Good luck and happy holidays!

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Slowly they turned…

Today’s strip is pretty inoffensive, as these things go. It might border on “nice” if we liked a single one of these characters.

Not sure why Funky and Holly look so surprised to see Morton playing the trombone. They know Morton is in this band. They know the band is playing at St. Spires. They walk into the Christmas Eve service hearing the strains of “Silent Night”. Put two and two together…

OK, sure, most of the churches I’m familiar with place both the choir and orchestra in front of the congregation rather than behind, but such a slight difference wouldn’t floor me like a character from the late They’ll Do It Every Time.

Maybe Funky has an excuse, he thinks churches are places to practice driving, but Holly has been depicted as at least a somewhat regular churchgoer.

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Flaming Batom Schtick

Apologies for today’s short post, but this story arc has gone about as well as my week at work has… And today’s strip doesn’t do much to improve matters. It doesn’t do much period.

The insurance companies Dinkle may have put a stop to the flaming baton trick, but don’t you dare think he is losing his touch. He has happily proposed maiming senior citizens with fire in recent years.

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Alumnaiku

Look, the man himself
Deigns to appear on panel
Here in today's strip

Why is he worried
No one is coming to see
Him in uniform

No one is coming
To see Holly twirl either
But whatever y'all

This Harry Dinkle,
He sounds like a real jerk
This guy here, real jerk

With his history
Of abusing band members
Why would alums play

But of course these two
Still have their band uniforms
No one leaves high school

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Healing fact-or fiction?

Oh sweet Sousa, it’s HIM! I guess we all knew his appearance was inevitable after Holly brought up band alumni yesterday, but I think we were all hoping he wouldn’t show up as soon as today’s strip. But now he is involved AND he is tossing around comic book/video game terminology like he‘s DSH or the other guy in this strip named Harry, making this story arc go from insufferably bland to straight up insufferable in three panels flat. And now we know Holly wasn’t the only majorette he routinely maimed…

Holly really shouldn’t be surprised he remembers her, though. After all, he named his shoe brand’s majorette marching boots after her. I guess that means he is being sincere then telling her she was the best majorette he ever had, though I’ll also bet he‘s been keeping her royalty checks from the sale of those boots for the past 29 years too.

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