Tag Archives: Rachel

You’ve Got Fail

Link To Today’s Strip

Slower than THIS?? Please, God, no. If he takes it much slower he might accidentally rupture time itself and send the Funkyverse slowly wobbling into some infinitely boring singularity. Which would probably be a real improvement over watching these two imbeciles pawing at that representation of pizza, now that I ponder it. I can’t wait until Boy Lisa finally arrives back at the humble Fairgood abode, reeking of pepperoni and all hopped up on iced tea and comic book dreams. I’m “sure” Jessica “won’t mind” if Darin doesn’t bother saving her a slice or two as after all, brokering comic book deals all morning can give a young guy just starting out quite an appetite.

Oh that BatWrite, always so topical. Looks like word finally filtered on down to Batom Inc. HQ that the kids today don’t really use the electronic mail so much anymore, what with the texting and apps and such. Thus it’s officially quaint enough for a FW character to use, like that arc a few years back where Funky finally screwed together the courage to turn off the Dolby on his 3 CD changer shelf system. What a memorable fourteen weeks that was.

“The one” what? The “one” that’s the lone female to tolerate his presence without reaching for the taser? The one girl he’s gotten to FW second base (hand holding) with? He should be drugging her and heading for the first available justice of the peace, not dilly-dallying around with Boy Lisa. Remember, this idiot is in his forties here. The odds on him snaring another movie house heiress are slim to none and she knows he writes comic books and she hasn’t run away yet so yeah, it’s safe to say she’s “the one” all right. And if this witty banter is any indication, their nine and a half year email courtship ought to be steaming up the comics page for years to come.

Check out Harry, loafing around while he’s supposed to be upstairs selling comic books. I sure hope John can handle the midday rush all by himself. Or maybe he’s just biding his time, waiting for them to finish eating so he can sidle up to them…”pssst! You guys wanna buy some comic books, man?”. I guarantee it’ll work, too.

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Just To Be The Man Who Walks A Thousand Miles To Maybe Get Around To Returning Your Call

Link To Another One

So, Pete’s struggling with his long distance relationship, mainly because he refuses to grow up and put a little effort into communicating with the great love of his life, Mindy. Just like his dear old pal Boy Lisa, Pete’s “girlfriend” is an afterthought, someone he’ll get around to eventually, probably. She’ll no doubt make a fine doormat when he finally allows her to marry him in some heinous comic book-centric ceremony, perhaps they’ll even have a seldom-seen comic book-themed named child or two.

Apparently the gag here is that Pete is a perpetual man-child, notorious slacker and lazy slob, which of course you already know, as Pete has been so thoroughly fleshed-out and developed over the years to a point where he’s a familiar old friend, like Klabinchnik or Mallory or Morty. A comics page icon, if you will. Armed with this wealth of Pete knowledge, you immediately laugh along with Boy Lisa at his good friend’s weary-eyed foibles. The work of a true master craftsman who’d never taint his work with some hoary old sitcom-style trope for a cheap chuckle.

BlehTom’s bro-banter is just as bad as his chick-banter is, especially when these two dolts are doing the bantering. Either move back to Ohio and marry Mindy in that goddamned gazebo or don’t, enough with the pathetic waffling and the godlessly plodding banter already. Pete’s discussing the woman he’s supposedly crazy about and he looks for all the world like he’s discussing his inflamed prostate and subsequent urinary issues there in panel two. This nonsense would be boring even if you did happen to be into hypothetical “old school” comic book companies and idiotic comic strip crossover long distance relationships, assuming such a person exists which they obviously do not.

I suppose I should mention Rachel but honestly, why? She works at Montoni’s, she lives above Montoni’s, life is already snarking on her as it is. Why pile on?

 

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A Song of Farce and Ire

The panels in today’s strip read at least as well in reverse order. To paraphrase Nate, who can say what the past four years held for the Class of 2017? The only glimpse we get of WHS ’17 is a few pairs of feet in panel 4 (nicely-rendered, by the way, and feet are hard to draw) . Recall that Cody and Owen handed over the reins of WHS’ in-house media operation directly to some freshmen. I’m supposing Tank and Conner to be underclassmen. As befits these anono-grads’ status, their commencement is held not in a stadium, with drones, but rather in the auditorium, listening to Nate name-check the author of A Game of Thrones.

 

 

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The Unknown Comic

Is today’s strip so bad that it broke Comics Kingdom? It has certainly thwarted every attempt I’ve made to view it, I’m sorry to say/glad to report. I have mixed emotions about this, obviously.

Feel free to discuss when Comics Kingdom gets its act together, or when you receive your print edition in the morning. Hoping for no Les, knock on wood.

Update: CK is still on the fritz, as far as I can tell. My Sunday paper, however, had no such issues. You can read here the photo I took of today’s strip, minus the throwaway title panel.

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It’s Superband!

It is very true! From akronlife.com:

[Luigi’s Restaurant owner Tony Ciriello] was just a kid in the ‘70s when his uncle Mickey Ciriello rescued the broken-down band from storage…The restaurant’s electrician, Butch Pastik, did the rewiring and a repairman at an old jukebox warehouse in Cleveland got the mechanical parts working again. Then Mickey and some friends began looking for characters to replace the old foam band members – brittle and crumbling from dry rot.

After discovering that Ken dolls and GI Joes didn’t work in the bandbox, Mickey settled on some 8-inch action figure Superman dolls. They were just the right size, and their arms were flexible enough to be posed with the musical instruments. Then he decided to swap out the male lead singer for a more glamorous blond Barbie…Mickey hired a local seamstress to create tuxedos for the band and created mop-top wigs for their heads…

For now, a new Barbie doll has replaced the ‘70s lead singer, but the male band members from the first restoration live on. One has been wearing a Superman suit under his tuxedo for all these years. In the tradition of protecting Clark Kent’s real identity, Tony won’t say which one is the true Man of Steel.

Wishing everyone a peaceful and blessed Easter! TFH

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If You Only Re-Knew

Link to today’s strip

I have to assume that Rachel’s hands are so calloused from years of pizza-slinging that she has no need for oven mitts. Anyhow, the Funk-Man is angrily waiting to re-take his driver’s exam, sitting and sulking as “those kids today” entertain themselves with their phone gizmos they’re all so fond of these days. Based on the way he’s carrying on you’d think he was the victim here and not merely an idiot who failed to renew his driver’s license for an entire year. The funniest thing about this one is how he has the exact same look on his face that I did upon seeing that TB was doing ANOTHER week of this.

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Marathon Pun

So how did Lisa do in the Lisa Legacy Run featured in today’s strip?

She finished dead last.

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