Tag Archives: poorly taped signs

Keep Those Goals Manageable There, Cayla

Link To Today’s Strip

Finishing in third place in the fifty-and-over category in a charity cancer fun run dedicated to the memory of her husband’s dead first wife represents a “perfect day” for Cayla? Good God these people are so f*cking dull. Unambitious too. Les can only write about one topic, Cayla is overjoyed after being beaten by two other runners, Lisa wants to jog behind her former husband and his new wife forever…what a bunch of sad-sack-sorry losers. Live slow, die old and leave a weathered beaten corpse, as the old saying goes.

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Five o’ Clock Shitshow

I was sure Batiuk felt he’d wrung every last molecule out of this motor vehicle story arc. But against Fat Les’ advice, Funky has indeed driven all the way home and back (can you believe Fat Les was enough of a sport not to alert the cops?) and returned with…a copy of his birth certificiate? Why would he not return with the original document? A business owner, Chamber of Commerce prexy, and, well, grown ass man doesn’t know that for most purposes, a Xeroxed birth certificate is worthless?

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He Not Busy Being Born

Trying to get a driver’s license under an assumed name is no joke these days. If Fat Les really thinks that’s what’s going on here, he should calmly ask “Funky Winkerbean” to wait right here please and then summon the authorities. And assuming Funky’s got his expired license with him, he doesn’t need to produce his birth certificate or anything else beside the $25.75 renewal fee. This is just payback to Funky for busting BMV Guy’s chops. And it’s working: instead of another wry retort, all Funky can muster is sputtering, Crankshaft-like indignation.

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Under Your Spell

spacemanspiff85
February 14, 2017 at 10:45 pm
He has his ID right there. Why is he asking how to spell his name?

Dang, Spiff, wish I’d thought of that! Unlike the probate lawyer we met last week, “BMV guy” is not having any of “funny guy” Funky’s witty repartee. In fact, things start to get chippy. It’s pretty poor customer service to resort to personal insults, but at least have it make sense. Would an unconventional spelling make Funky’s name any less “unfortunate”?

In another case of Batiuk Perhaps Inadvertently Gets Something Right: I don’t know about Ohio’s BMV, but in the New Jersey DMV offices that I’ve visited, the walls are painted that exact shade of sickly, early 90’s “Dusty Rose” mauve.

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Take T…H…A…

Today we observe that rarest of instances in the Funkiverse: our hero, subjected to the withering disdain of a functionary of the state, gains the upper hand by delivering a well-timed, snarky zinger of his own. Funky knows it, too; dig his expression in panel 3: the arched eyebrow and the entirely appropriate sardonic smirk.

I’m going to let this one pass. Feel free, the rest of you, to have at it.

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The Running of the Bull

Hello there, fellow snarkers! HeyItsDave here, back from hiatus with more Funky Felt Tip adventures.

Yesterday, the leaves in town were falling as fast as Funky’s hair, hopefully without leaving some kind of nasty clog that Holly will have to dig out of the sink trap later. And falling leaves in Funky Winkerbean always mean that we’ll be segueing into some kind of melodramatic tale of woe.

I was really hoping that this week was going to stay focused on Frankie and Lenny. They’re like the Funkyverse version of Pokemon’s Team Rocket – all nefarious and blackhearted and always tripping over their own goddamn feet. But no, today we’re back in Westview to watch Bull Bushka descend into concussion-induced madness. What is it with T-Bats and autumn, anyway? Seems like as soon as the foliage turns he starts obsessing about decay and death. And maybe domestic abuse, given Linda’s face in panel three.

Speaking of decline, is Tommy farming out some of the drawing duties here? I detect a distinct stylistic difference between the way background extras are usually drawn and the way this crowd is rendered.

161017

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Gee Quiz

September’s a good time for Batiuk to revisit the place where the Funkiverse began: the high school classroom. We’ve seen the original Westview students grow into middle age, and some of them become teachers to the students who succeeded them. Now that Cody and Owen have finally graduated (and seemingly vanished), TB must come up with “fresh” teen characters to serve as foils for the insufferable Mr. Moore. So far all he’s come up with is the blonde mannequin Logan Church, seen in the last panel giving side-eye to Bernie Silver, who seems to be an amalgam of Owen’s clueless slacker and Cody’s dark hair and glasses.

It’s been a privilege bringing you the snark for the last couple weeks, folks. Billytheskink steps in for the next fortnight. Stay Funky, y’all!

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