Tag Archives: poorly taped signs

Durwood and the Pete-meister, signin’ copies…

Much thanks to Spacemanspiff85 for taking the helm over the past two weeks, and for having a screen name that always reminds us of how good the world of comic strips can be. I am sorry I cannot claim that “billytheskink” will make you think of anything good, but I will do my level best to cover the rest of this role effectively.

Looks like time jump #4 happened in today’s strip, because apparently May 4 is here now… and hatchet-faced white men abound! This Sha-Na-Na reject is about 25 years too late to the world of post-Silver Age comics speculation, as if copies of Rip Tide: Scuba Cop and The Scorch are headed anywhere but the bargain bin.

Also, Lisa’s Story is a graphic novel again, maybe…

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Raider With the Pinned-Up Sleeve

I know one way the school can save money. If you’re having a guy who’s been retired for over a decade come in and do a significant part of your job for you because you’re too busy with other stuff to do it, then you probably shouldn’t have that job anymore.
So, Becky is so busy trying to steal money designated for the football team that she can’t oversee practices? What is she doing in that time? Emailing the school board? While she’s actually on the clock for her job? That seems bad.
Dinkle commenting about returning to band land is one of the funniest things in this strip in years. He has never left. He has no life outside of band. Near as I can tell he spends every day lurking behind Becky. And the only times he’s not doing that he’s writing biographies about band.
For a guy who went pretty much deaf long ago, being able to differentiate between “raising” and “raiding” is pretty damn impressive. Far, far less impressive is the fact that the “band room” is crappily taped to the inside of the door. Rather than the outside where it would actually do any good.

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Keep Those Goals Manageable There, Cayla

Link To Today’s Strip

Finishing in third place in the fifty-and-over category in a charity cancer fun run dedicated to the memory of her husband’s dead first wife represents a “perfect day” for Cayla? Good God these people are so f*cking dull. Unambitious too. Les can only write about one topic, Cayla is overjoyed after being beaten by two other runners, Lisa wants to jog behind her former husband and his new wife forever…what a bunch of sad-sack-sorry losers. Live slow, die old and leave a weathered beaten corpse, as the old saying goes.

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Five o’ Clock Shitshow

I was sure Batiuk felt he’d wrung every last molecule out of this motor vehicle story arc. But against Fat Les’ advice, Funky has indeed driven all the way home and back (can you believe Fat Les was enough of a sport not to alert the cops?) and returned with…a copy of his birth certificiate? Why would he not return with the original document? A business owner, Chamber of Commerce prexy, and, well, grown ass man doesn’t know that for most purposes, a Xeroxed birth certificate is worthless?

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He Not Busy Being Born

Trying to get a driver’s license under an assumed name is no joke these days. If Fat Les really thinks that’s what’s going on here, he should calmly ask “Funky Winkerbean” to wait right here please and then summon the authorities. And assuming Funky’s got his expired license with him, he doesn’t need to produce his birth certificate or anything else beside the $25.75 renewal fee. This is just payback to Funky for busting BMV Guy’s chops. And it’s working: instead of another wry retort, all Funky can muster is sputtering, Crankshaft-like indignation.

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Under Your Spell

spacemanspiff85
February 14, 2017 at 10:45 pm
He has his ID right there. Why is he asking how to spell his name?

Dang, Spiff, wish I’d thought of that! Unlike the probate lawyer we met last week, “BMV guy” is not having any of “funny guy” Funky’s witty repartee. In fact, things start to get chippy. It’s pretty poor customer service to resort to personal insults, but at least have it make sense. Would an unconventional spelling make Funky’s name any less “unfortunate”?

In another case of Batiuk Perhaps Inadvertently Gets Something Right: I don’t know about Ohio’s BMV, but in the New Jersey DMV offices that I’ve visited, the walls are painted that exact shade of sickly, early 90’s “Dusty Rose” mauve.

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Take T…H…A…

Today we observe that rarest of instances in the Funkiverse: our hero, subjected to the withering disdain of a functionary of the state, gains the upper hand by delivering a well-timed, snarky zinger of his own. Funky knows it, too; dig his expression in panel 3: the arched eyebrow and the entirely appropriate sardonic smirk.

I’m going to let this one pass. Feel free, the rest of you, to have at it.

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The Running of the Bull

Hello there, fellow snarkers! HeyItsDave here, back from hiatus with more Funky Felt Tip adventures.

Yesterday, the leaves in town were falling as fast as Funky’s hair, hopefully without leaving some kind of nasty clog that Holly will have to dig out of the sink trap later. And falling leaves in Funky Winkerbean always mean that we’ll be segueing into some kind of melodramatic tale of woe.

I was really hoping that this week was going to stay focused on Frankie and Lenny. They’re like the Funkyverse version of Pokemon’s Team Rocket – all nefarious and blackhearted and always tripping over their own goddamn feet. But no, today we’re back in Westview to watch Bull Bushka descend into concussion-induced madness. What is it with T-Bats and autumn, anyway? Seems like as soon as the foliage turns he starts obsessing about decay and death. And maybe domestic abuse, given Linda’s face in panel three.

Speaking of decline, is Tommy farming out some of the drawing duties here? I detect a distinct stylistic difference between the way background extras are usually drawn and the way this crowd is rendered.

161017

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Gee Quiz

September’s a good time for Batiuk to revisit the place where the Funkiverse began: the high school classroom. We’ve seen the original Westview students grow into middle age, and some of them become teachers to the students who succeeded them. Now that Cody and Owen have finally graduated (and seemingly vanished), TB must come up with “fresh” teen characters to serve as foils for the insufferable Mr. Moore. So far all he’s come up with is the blonde mannequin Logan Church, seen in the last panel giving side-eye to Bernie Silver, who seems to be an amalgam of Owen’s clueless slacker and Cody’s dark hair and glasses.

It’s been a privilege bringing you the snark for the last couple weeks, folks. Billytheskink steps in for the next fortnight. Stay Funky, y’all!

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Too Old To Rock & Roll, To Young To Die

In an unusual turn of events, today’s comic finds us for the second consecutive week in Westview, without a hint of comic books or Batiuk’s fanfic cesspool Star*uck Jones. And look who’s back! It’s Rachel, and she needs to leave work a half an hour early so she can go to the Monsters of Metal concert tonight.

Well.

We know that Funky’s going to say “yes.” I mean, the restaurant is so dead today that Rachel’s folding pizza boxes and Funky is noodling around PornHub on his laptop. I just can’t wait for the hilarity of a full week of T-Bats’ Get Of My Lawn ranting about loud music.

 

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