Tag Archives: bearded dick with ears

by billytheskink | August 12, 2022 · 10:30 pm

Haiku Dive

Today's strip still has
That chair jammed in the ladder
And also two shmucks

So what's with the chair?
Is that really going to
Keep folks off the dive?

Les can dish it out
"Memory lane is now closed"
But he can't take it

Not some great mem'ry
Les scared to jump off high dive
A weak Act I gag

More memorable
Was Les and the climbing rope
A low bar to clear

Les and the rope, though
Had the off chance that he might
Wind up hung to death

28 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Tagged as Act I, Act I call-backs, appalling lack of sportsmanship, bearded dick with ears, chair jammed in a diving board ladder, chairs, Funky, Funky Winkerbean, general dickishness, Les, Les being a giant smug douche, Les' back is turned take the shot take the shot, memory bubble, memory loss, misplaced nostalgia for things that weren't all that great to begin with, nostalgia, Now Funky, sidewalk tiles, sport, sports, swimming, Tennis, tile, trash

by billytheskink | August 11, 2022 · 10:30 pm

With a capital P and that rhymes with D and that stands for… uh…

The real star of yesterday’s strip finally gets top billing in today’s strip!

Like certain parts of the comics page we are too polite to mention here at Son of Stuck Funky, the old pool sits sadly: unused, unloved, overgrown, and falling apart. Unlike certain parts of the comics page we are too polite to mention here at Son of Stuck Funky, the old pool has actually been replaced.

Les is one to talk about “Summers* slipping away”…. At least Funky is willing to admit his memory lapses.

^{*It has been 43 days (and counting) since Summer’s most recent appearance in this strip. The three gaps prior to that were 145, 408, and 107 days.}

39 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Tagged as bearded dick with ears, chair jammed in a diving board ladder, chairs, crappy ploddinng stories that never get anywhere, curmudgeonly oldsters, Funky, Funky Winkerbean, ladder, ladders, Les, Les being a giant smug douche, Les' back is turned take the shot take the shot, memory bubble, memory loss, misplaced nostalgia for things that weren't all that great to begin with, nostalgia, Not Summer, Now Funky, old crap, Old dying people, old useless junk, Remembrence of Strips Past, smug inept bearded jerks, sport, sports, swimming, Tennis, the inevitable ravages of age, the ravages of age, tile

by billytheskink | August 10, 2022 · 10:30 pm

Burning Man

One bad turn deserves another, I suppose. Today’s strip sees Les take his revenge on Funky for two strips’ worth of Crankshaft schtick with some ‘Shaft-level quote muddle-ment of his own. Where did you pull this piece of unwisdom from, Les, I Chong?

The master says: Piles of excrement comes out of both ends of Les, but only one pile can can be flushed.

53 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Tagged as bearded dick with ears, chair jammed in a diving board ladder, curmudgeonly oldsters, dismal world view, Fire, Funky, Funky Winkerbean, general dickishness, hatchet face, headband, Inappropriate quotes, Les, Les being a giant smug douche, Les' back is turned take the shot take the shot, Life is a dismal horror from which you can never escape, morbidity, muppet profile, Now Funky, old crap, Old dying people, old useless junk, pickleball, sport, sports, swimming, Tennis, the inevitable ravages of age, the ravages of age, trees, uninteresting stupid anecdotes, useless old junk

by billytheskink | May 28, 2022 · 10:30 pm

Stropp me if you’ve heard this one before

Today’s strip recalls one of the very last things that ever appeared in Act I… and uses it to mourn the death of print media? Look, I dunno what’s going on in the last panel, but I can tell you what happened in flashback panels.

After bumming everyone out with his awful valedictorian speech, Les just… hung out in the auditorium until everyone left, sulking in the unfulfillment of getting a high school diploma.

^{This would have been a perfect time for “Mooch” Myers to burn the school down.}

Then he headed out to the “Student Council Graduation Party” in the middle school gym, as seen in today’s flashback, finding the place deserted aside from Coach Stropp.

^{Be glad Les doesn’t narrate his life any more.}

Why was the Student Council Graduation Party a dumb idea? Why was the party deserted?

^{You couldn’t draw Coach Stropp’s resplendent jacket in today’s flashback, Ayers? For shame…}

Yep, Cindy held a huge graduation party at the mall that everybody attended… including MTV VJ Karen “Duff” Duffy and some poor souls who entered an MTV contest to win a free trip to Westview.

^{…and they call the show that dominates MTV’s schedule now Ridiculousness.}

Les, however, sat in the middle school gym with his free copy of the yearbook, reminiscing about the good times he had with his friends in high school rather than going and actually spending time with him. After a week’s worth of strips of this, Act II began…

I do not know if next week will time warp us into Act IV or not, but I do know I will be leaving this site in the skilled hands (and mind) of ComicBookHarriet. Godspeed.

48 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Tagged as Act I, Act I call-backs, anon-o-students, badly taped signs, bearded dick with ears, bricks, bricks WHS, Cayla, Cayla's pink shirt, Coach Stropp, comma eyes, crowd, flashback, gym, horseplay, Jack Stropp, Les, Les being a giant smug douche, Les. Cayla, poorly taped signs, recycled gags, sad-sackery, smug inept bearded jerks, swimming, technology, very old gags, water, water bottles

by billytheskink | May 25, 2022 · 10:30 pm

Fortune Dweller

Uh… Cayla, had you met your husband before today’s strip?! Good feeling… ha! You’d get a “ha ha” if that was genuinely funny.

THIS, by the way, is why Les is (rightfully) not allowed to speak at graduations…

^{Where were you when Lisa was recording, Marge’s significant other?}

^{Note: Barry Balderman didn’t leave WHS because he was bullied or ignored, he left because he was obsessed with being valedictorian and had a nervous breakdown after he overheard Principal Fred Fairgood say that Cindy had the highest GPA in the class. What he did not overhear was that Fred was making a dumb joke that GPA stood for “Greatest Popularity of All”. Les earned those boos and then some.}

Lest you think that WHS might make the mistake of letting Les speak at graduation again because everyone who was in the administration when he was a student is retired… They aren’t.

I’m half certain that (then vice-) principal Nate has committed to work at the high school until he (or Les) dies in order to make sure that Les never steps in front of a graduation ceremony microphone ever again.

45 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Tagged as Anon-O-Character, anon-o-character with oddly-shaped head, Anon-O-Characters, anon-o-students, bearded dick with ears, Cayla, clueless students, comma eyes, Complete Worthless Ass, constant misery, disillusionment, four eyes, heavy-handedness, Inappropriate quotes, LBD, Les, Les being a giant smug douche, Les' Slob-ass Tie, Les. Cayla, Life is a dismal horror from which you can never escape, random students, sad-sackery, smug poses, squiggly eyebrows, traveling green shirt, unbearable smugness, Westview H.S., Westview High School, WHS

Tag Archives: bearded dick with ears

Haiku Dive

With a capital P and that rhymes with D and that stands for… uh…

Burning Man

Stropp me if you’ve heard this one before

Fortune Dweller

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