Tag Archives: old crap

by billytheskink | August 11, 2022 · 10:30 pm

With a capital P and that rhymes with D and that stands for… uh…

The real star of yesterday’s strip finally gets top billing in today’s strip!

Like certain parts of the comics page we are too polite to mention here at Son of Stuck Funky, the old pool sits sadly: unused, unloved, overgrown, and falling apart. Unlike certain parts of the comics page we are too polite to mention here at Son of Stuck Funky, the old pool has actually been replaced.

Les is one to talk about “Summers* slipping away”…. At least Funky is willing to admit his memory lapses.

^{*It has been 43 days (and counting) since Summer’s most recent appearance in this strip. The three gaps prior to that were 145, 408, and 107 days.}

39 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Tagged as bearded dick with ears, chair jammed in a diving board ladder, chairs, crappy ploddinng stories that never get anywhere, curmudgeonly oldsters, Funky, Funky Winkerbean, ladder, ladders, Les, Les being a giant smug douche, Les' back is turned take the shot take the shot, memory bubble, memory loss, misplaced nostalgia for things that weren't all that great to begin with, nostalgia, Not Summer, Now Funky, old crap, Old dying people, old useless junk, Remembrence of Strips Past, smug inept bearded jerks, sport, sports, swimming, Tennis, the inevitable ravages of age, the ravages of age, tile

by billytheskink | August 10, 2022 · 10:30 pm

Burning Man

One bad turn deserves another, I suppose. Today’s strip sees Les take his revenge on Funky for two strips’ worth of Crankshaft schtick with some ‘Shaft-level quote muddle-ment of his own. Where did you pull this piece of unwisdom from, Les, I Chong?

The master says: Piles of excrement comes out of both ends of Les, but only one pile can can be flushed.

53 Comments

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Tagged as bearded dick with ears, chair jammed in a diving board ladder, curmudgeonly oldsters, dismal world view, Fire, Funky, Funky Winkerbean, general dickishness, hatchet face, headband, Inappropriate quotes, Les, Les being a giant smug douche, Les' back is turned take the shot take the shot, Life is a dismal horror from which you can never escape, morbidity, muppet profile, Now Funky, old crap, Old dying people, old useless junk, pickleball, sport, sports, swimming, Tennis, the inevitable ravages of age, the ravages of age, trees, uninteresting stupid anecdotes, useless old junk

by billytheskink | May 20, 2022 · 10:30 pm

Off The Depend

Today’s strip is both stupid and gross. I have nothing else to say about it.

Here are some better comic strips, read them instead…

These puns that don’t infuriate me. Most puns don’t. TB truly has a gift…

40 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Tagged as awful wordplay, bad wordplay, complete lack of humor, Complete Worthless Ass, crappy ploddinng stories that never get anywhere, Crazy, Crazy Harry, curmudgeonly oldsters, disembodied hand, Funky, Funky Winkerbean, Funkys, hip, Holly, I used to be cool, idiocy, isn't it ironic?, lame wordplay, misappropriated wordplay, Montoni's, Montoni's apron, moronic grins, Now Crazy Harry, Now Funky, old crap, Old dying people, pizza, really dumb questions, sad-sackery, sheer idiocy, Squick, stupid, sub-moronic wordplay, terrible wordplay, the inevitable ravages of age, the raptor claw in Holly's hair, the ravages of age, tiny hands, toilet humor, unnatural hand gestures, wordplay

by billytheskink | December 25, 2021 · 10:30 pm

Il Dunce

Finally having a clear schedule after directing both the choir and the band at St. Spires’ Christmas Eve service, Dinkle has no time to rest as he prepares in today’s strip to march in the Tournament of Roses Parade with his fellow ~~fans of fascist regalia~~ band directors. Seems like this thing was announced years ago (about 6 months, actually), but I guess The World’s Greatest Band Director_TM doesn’t need more than a week to prepare. He does, however, need a little help from the tailor… something Harriet realized 11 years ago (a time so long ago that Dinkle was watching recordings of his concerts on his flip phone).

What assuredly entertaining and engrossing things will Dinkle get up to in Pasadena? I ~~don’t~~ know, but it will be Spaceman Spiff who will guide us through them. Good luck and happy holidays!

31 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Tagged as ancient Dinkle gags, band, band directing, curmudgeonly oldsters, Dinkle, Dinkle's house, dumb clothing jokes, exposition, giant mouths, Harriet, Harry Dinkle, hatchet face, insufferability, old crap, Old Dinkle, Old dying people, old Harry Dinkle, old useless junk, the inevitable ravages of age, the ravages of age, Tournament of Roses Parade, very old gags

by billytheskink | September 26, 2021 · 10:30 pm

Thoughts and Ayers

Hope you all enjoyed yesterday’s respite from the boringly toxic (or rather, toxically boring) Melinda-Holly relationship, because we’re back for (checks calendar) WEEK 3?! of it in today’s strip. Things between these two are so bad that Holly will ignore good advice that is widely known by nearly every adult who has ever engaged in athletic behavior just to spite her nagging mother.

This strip has everything! Needless exposition! Falling leaves! Absolutely nothing likable! References that would have been topical 3 decades ago! References to death! And more word and thought bubbles than you can shake a baton at!

48 Comments

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Tagged as alumni band, anger, band, band practice, batons, death, enraging hair strands, exposition, Falling leaves, fury, Holly, Holly's mom, Holly's mother whose name escapes me at the moment, Jane Fonda, leaves, Melinda, misplaced nostalgia for things that weren't all that great to begin with, nostalgia, old crap, Old dying people, pissiness, references that were real topical a year ago, tags you never thought you'd use, terrible overacting, the raptor claw in Holly's hair, thought provocation, Westview HS Band, WHS band

by billytheskink | September 25, 2021 · 10:30 pm

Boredstrom

The department store nostalgia in today’s strip is pretty innocuous as Funky Winkerbean goes. I am enough of a retail enthusiast to know that department store nostalgia is totally a thing, by the way… but I’m not sure it manifests itself in wistful disappointment when receiving an Amazon package.

But since Amazon’s logo is clearly visible on present day Holly’s package, let’s talk about THIS:

There are several, actual historic and defunct department stores in the greater Cleveland-Akron area that TB could have pulled up: O’Neil’s, Polskys, May Co., the one that Dinkle named his daughter after, the particularly famous one that had the previously-referenced-in-this-very-comic-strip Silver Grill [sic] in it.

Nope, we get Holly’s memory of shopping at DS, which by all indications stands for… Department Store. DS. Department. Store. This is Herb & Jamaal-level non-specificity. Look TB, if you can reference Amazon specifically, you can reference an actual department store specifically. The strip loses nothing if you get Ayers to write “Higbee’s” on a couple of shopping bags instead of DS.

34 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Tagged as Amazon smirk, anon-o-customer, crappy ploddinng stories that never get anywhere, Falling leaves, flashback, Holly, Holly's mom, Holly's mother whose name escapes me at the moment, leaves, Melinda, misplaced nostalgia for things that weren't all that great to begin with, nostalgia, old crap, old useless junk, substitute names for popular retail chains, the raptor claw in Holly's hair, useless old junk

by billytheskink | September 24, 2021 · 10:30 pm

Flaming Batom Schtick

Apologies for today’s short post, but this story arc has gone about as well as my week at work has… And today’s strip doesn’t do much to improve matters. It doesn’t do much period.

~~The insurance companies~~ Dinkle may have put a stop to the flaming baton trick, but don’t you dare think he is losing his touch. He has happily proposed maiming senior citizens with fire in recent years.

29 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Tagged as alumni band, band, band directing, curmudgeonly oldsters, Flaming batons, Harry, Harry Dinkle, hatchet face, Holly, Holly's mother whose name escapes me at the moment, marching band, marching bands, Melinda, misplaced nostalgia for things that weren't all that great to begin with, nostalgia, old crap, Old Dinkle, Old dying people, old gags from the 1970's, old Harry Dinkle, old useless junk, running ideas into the ground, shadow Hollys, silhouette, silhouettes, the raptor claw in Holly's hair, towel curtains, very old gags, Westview HS Band, WHS band

by billytheskink | September 22, 2021 · 10:30 pm

Alumnaiku

Look, the man himself
Deigns to appear on panel
Here in today's strip

Why is he worried
No one is coming to see
Him in uniform

No one is coming
To see Holly twirl either
But whatever y'all

This Harry Dinkle,
He sounds like a real jerk
This guy here, real jerk

With his history
Of abusing band members
Why would alums play

But of course these two
Still have their band uniforms
No one leaves high school

37 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Tagged as alumni band, band, band directing, cell phones, cellphone, curmudgeonly oldsters, Dinkle, Dinkle's house, dumb clothing jokes, giant mouths, Harry, Harry Dinkle, Holly, huge hands, idiocy, knowing smirks, marching bands, old crap, Old Dinkle, Old dying people, old Harry Dinkle, sheer idiocy, smirk, smirks, smirks exchanged, telephone transactions, The Golden Dinkles, the inevitable ravages of age, the raptor claw in Holly's hair, the ravages of age, towel curtains, very old gags, Westview HS Band, WHS band

by billytheskink | September 20, 2021 · 10:30 pm

By Invitation Lonely

Oh, so Melinda wasn’t thinking of entering Holly in a pageant! No, as we learn in today’s strip, she was thinking about hijacking Westview High School’s homecoming and subjecting the crowd to Holly’s flaming baton trick and its subsequent collateral damage. Duh. I don’t know where Holly got the idea that her mother was trying to get her to enter a pageant, it’s not like Melinda led into this homecoming performance idea by talking about pageants or anything…

It was smart of Holly to suggest inviting a bunch of band alumni into this scheme. Not because making this an actual alumni event rather than a single woman’s vainglorious showcase means the school would likely be more accommodating. Not because it will place anyone not related to her who might be interested in seeing her performance out on the field instead of up in the grandstands. Not because it will give Wally a chance to break out his trombone again. Not even because it seems to deflate her conniving mother.

No, it was smart because Holly knows as well as anyone that misery loves company.

39 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Tagged as band, curmudgeonly oldsters, enraging facial expressions, enraging hair strands, Holly, Holly's mom, Holly's mother whose name escapes me at the moment, marching band, Melinda, misplaced nostalgia for things that weren't all that great to begin with, nostalgia, old crap, Old dying people, old gags from the 1970's, old useless junk, Remembrence of Strips Past, the raptor claw in Holly's hair, useless old junk, very old gags, Westview HS Band, woman with receding hairline

by billytheskink | July 10, 2021 · 10:30 pm

Landing at Bore-mandy

Blah blah blah today’s strip… blah blah blah Phil Holt… blah blah blah comic books… blah blah blah The Subterranean… blah blah blah yackity smackity…

~~Meanwhile…~~ *stupid cloud bubble panel border that TB inexplicably thinks should indicate an in-strip shift from one place to another*

Everyone’s 5th favorite Stooge, “Curly-Joe” DeRita, and Darth Vader himself are hanging out at Ye Olde Comic Shoppe. What’s that all about? Spacemanspiff85 is going to be our guide as we find out (provided we do in the next two weeks). Thoughts and prayers, man, thoughts and prayers.

40 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Tagged as air travel, airplanes, airports, Atomik Komix, Batom Comics, Batom's bizarre comic book fantasy world, boredom personified, bubble transition from one place to another, Chester, Chester the Chiseler, Chester's intrigued face, comic books, Comic-Con, comics, contempt for comic book nerds, Darin, embarrassing errors a comics fan shouldn't make, endless tedium, Flash Freeman, impending doom, knowing smirks, masks, Mindy, Minty Pete, Mopey Pete, old crap, Old dying people, one of those arcs that just never seems to end, Pete, Pete's Plaid Shirt, Phil Holt, Ruby, Ruby Lith, San Diego, smirk, smirks, Star Wars, stupid cloud bubble panel border, sunglasses, the comic book industry, the untimely death of Phil Holt, things that never end, Ye Olde Comics Shoppe

Tag Archives: old crap

With a capital P and that rhymes with D and that stands for… uh…

Burning Man

Off The Depend

Il Dunce

Thoughts and Ayers

Boredstrom

Flaming Batom Schtick

Alumnaiku

By Invitation Lonely

Landing at Bore-mandy

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