Off The Depend

Today’s strip is both stupid and gross. I have nothing else to say about it.

Here are some better comic strips, read them instead…

These puns that don’t infuriate me. Most puns don’t. TB truly has a gift…


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

40 responses to “Off The Depend

  1. RudimentaryLathe?

    *Reads joke*
    *Sees artwork*
    To quote Michael Kors: It’s an
    unbelievably tight race for hideous today.

  2. William Thompson

    Crazy Harry was a hippie? Wasn’t that movement dead and buried by the time he entered high school?

    • RudimentaryLathe?

      🎶He’s an Old hippie and he don’t know what to do/should he hang onto the old, should grab onto the new?🎶
      Jesus Mary and Joe Strummer, the Bellamy Brothers were satirizing this idea 30 years ago. Not a good look, Batiuk.

      • ComicBookHarriet

        The opening of that song has felt more and more terrifying as I creep so very close to the age listed…

        “He turned thirty-five last Sunday
        In his hair he found some gray
        But he still ain’t changed his lifestyle
        He likes it better the old way”

        • erdmann

          17 has turned 35
          I’m surprised that we’re still livin’
          If we’ve done any harm
          I hope that we’re forgiven

          Looking back, 35 wasn’t a bad age to be.

      • Perfect Tommy

        And we think about Tom and wonder why.

  3. Epicus Doomus

    Ask yourself: why, exactly, does Crazy need to be humiliated in the first place? Is he a bad person? Overbearing? Obnoxious? Smug? Know-it-all-y? No, not really, I mean as far as FW characters go, Crazy Harry is the least of your worries. So why the need to kneecap ol’ Crazy, then club him while he’s down? Couldn’t he have been afforded a glimmer of happiness, a sliver of hope, one tiny moment in the sun? Why not?

    All eyes turn toward BatYam and his never-ending grudge against every single character Les went to high school with. Which is weird, as he writes the damn thing and he’s the one who made Les such a hapless dweeb in the first place. In a weird way, he’s actually exacting vengeance against himself, perhaps in shame over never being able to climb the gym rope in real life. But that’s just speculation, for all I know he’s as nimble as a squirrel. But there’s obviously something there.

  4. sorialpromise

    This cr@p even sucks the life from reading SOSF. To paraphrase the film McLintock:
    (John Wayne) “You know, if we had any moral character, we wouldn’t be standing here covered with this cr@p reading, when we should be drinkin.”

    • ComicBookHarriet

      “Don’t say it’s a fine comic or I’ll shoot you!”

      • sorialpromise

        Batiuk, I haven’t lost my temper in 40 years, but pilgrim you caused a lot of trouble this morning, someone mighta bought Depends. Somebody oughta belt you in the mouth. But I won’t. I won’t. The hell I won’t!

  5. Gerard Plourde

    I’ve been wondering since Wednesday how he would stretch this nonsense out through Saturday. I certainly wasn’t expecting it to go there.

    And just to move this to a subject other than incontinence – When the strip started in 1972 Harry was in high school and hippies were already passé (I started college in the Fall of 1971 and . I know TomBa’s timeline is very fluid (not intending to refer to the strip’s punchline), but pushing the canonical graduation year back from 1988 to the mid-seventies wouldn’t help. The hippie movement peaked between 1967 and 1969. The disastrous Altamont rock concert in 1969 dealt a major blow to the counterculture movement from which it never recovered and this was followed by the Kent State shooting in 1970 .

    • When he started drawing Funky Winkerbean, Batiuk was himself seven or eight years older than his high school characters, but thanks to two time jumps, the titular character and his pals are Batty’s same age.

      • Rusty Shackleford

        Yes, and we can see that the entire strip is about Batty. His likes, his wishes, etc.

        He looked up to hippies and so his characters must look up to that as well. He likes comic books, hence…well you get the picture.

  6. Today’s strip sucks, all right. Speaking of comic strips and cartoonists though, even at low resolution you can spot the brilliant cartooning style of MAD Magazine legend Jack Davis at the bottom of that Slim Jims ad that BillytheSkink features above.

  7. Banana Jr. 6000

    When someone says “male problems” or “female problems” to someone of the opposite gender, it means “kindly don’t inquire any further, because it’s personal/embarrassing/gross.” It does not mean MY FRIENDS HAS INCONTINENCE PROBLEMS PLEASE SUGGEST A PRODUCT THAT WOULD HELP.

    Sheesh, this is vile. Holly really had her Jump To Conclusions Mat out for that one. Funky sees his wife humiliating his friend and thinks “this is a great time for another forced pun!” Also, Holly was breaking her ankle in a high school baton girl show six months ago, now she’s peeing herself? And had time to write a book in between?

    Harry’s right – it is just one humiliation after another. Pointless. random, mean-spirited, unfunny humiliation that he’s done little to deserve. Just walk out the door, Harry. Don’t look back, don’t say goodbye, just leave. The sooner you get these awful people out of your life, the better. Move to a place where the mail still runs and get your old job, and maybe some dignity, back.

    • Epicus Doomus

      Harry is in his fifties, he’s not elderly or anything. The way they’ve all just kind of given up over the course of Act III is so disturbing. Their lives are like a 56-3 college football blowout, they’re just running out the clock.

      • Banana Jr. 6000

        Except that a bad college football game will eventually end. There are even rules to speed it up if it’s sufficiently one-sided. Funky Winkerbean is like one of those football teams that exists only to get guarantee checks and lose. I would compare it to Kent State, except Kent State has been trying a little harder the last decade or so and occasionally had winning seasons.

      • gleeb

        These people were in high school in the early 1970s. They are 80 in the shade. Don’t buy into Batiuk’s time garbage.

    • The Duck of Death

      The harsh truth is that it may not be incontinence problems. Ask any altekacker and they’ll tell you their Golden Rule: “Never trust a fart.”

  8. Sourbelly

    I never trust Batdick with a punchline, so I consulted Grandpa Google and Great Uncle Wikipedia. Didn’t see anything about liner pads that relates to men and Depends. So – shitty (haha) punchline. At least it wasn’t another hip pun.

    Oh, and I see Qwazy is still whining to nobody in particular. How are you being humiliated in all of this? Have you suddenly become aware that there is a Snarkiverse on the Internet making fun of you?

  9. be ware of eve hill

    I actually laughed at today’s FW comic. My only excuse is that it’s a Friday night, and I’m satisfactorily liquored up. Holly, you poor dumb blonde. 😂

    As somebody once stated in the CK FW discussion, the only way to appreciate Funky Winkerbean is to read it while under the influence.

    Mr. bwoeh, wants to know if I need want another Manhattan. Yes, please. One of the things he has always loved about me is that I have a low tolerance and have always kept the bar tab low. YaY!👍

    • ian'sdrunkenbeard

      As a fan of Rammstein, you might appreciate this mashup.

      • be ware of eve hill

        Thanks. That’s funny.

        There’s even a Slim Jim® tie in with ‘Macho Man’ Randy Savage. “Snap into a Slim Jim! Oh, yeah!

  10. J.J. O'Malley

    I’m confused: I always thought “Pluggers” was a one-panel comic strip with animal characters standing in for people, but today’s entry features three panels and what appears (upon second glance, anyway) to be human beings. Oh, well, at least the unfunny jokes about getting old are still the same.

    Please tell me we’re getting the second Flash Freeman/The Late Phil Holt “climate damage” comic book cover tomorrow, and this arc is being put out of its misery.

  11. billytheskink

    I like how Crazy is flashing Funky a peace sign while saying he “used to be a hippie”. It’s such an unnecessary little detail and kind of an insufferable one, as if Funky and the reader need some type of reinforcement as to what a hippie is.

    I’m reminded of one of my uncles, a loud and somewhat loutish man, who is married to a woman from another country. Her English speaking is not perfect, but she understands it well. She would probably speak it better if he did not have a bad habit of speaking like Tonto around her…
    At a family get-together a few years ago I was wearing a t-shirt with my college alma mater’s mascot on it, a bear, and my uncle’s wife asked me why I was wearing a shirt with a bear on it. Before I could answer he bellows out: “Billy…

    and then proceeds to raise both of his hands up in the air to mimic an angry bear and says

    She rolled her eyes and said, “I understand.” My jaw was on the floor. It was hilarious, embarrassing, and infuriating all at the same time.

  12. The Dreamer

    Remember TomBat started writing Funky in 1972 Assuming Harry repeated a couple of grades, he could have been a hippie in ’69 or ’70 and still in high school in ’72 TB is just reverting back to the original timeline

    • ComicBookHarriet

      Or as a younger kid he strongly identified with hippies and considered himself one, even if he wasn’t old enough to paint a van and take acid.

      Like he pointed to a long haired bum busking on the streets and told his momma, “That’s what I want to be when I grow up!”

      • Banana Jr. 6000

        Neither of which fits Funky Winkerbean‘s established canon. The gang graduated high school in 1988. Even if you interpret the time skip as making that 1978, that’s still way too young to be a hippie. Also, Crazy Harry is not Zonker Harris.

        This is abysmal joke-writing. Batiuk wanted to make an entire week of hip puns, and he wiped his ass with his characters’ history to do it. Even though none of the jokes are were good enough to use at all.. How is this ironic, Funky? I can’t appreciate the difference between expectation and reality because NEITHER OF THEM MAKE ANY SENSE.

        • Epicus Doomus

          A budget version of Zonker, at best. A G-rated subversive, more goofball than rebel. And now he’s just another crotchety old man.

  13. The Duck of Death

    Remember that discussion we had on Tuesday? About how Batiuk bragged that he no longer allows his characters to give wry sidelong glances at the reader because that was “inserting himself too much in the story” or some tripe? How he’s more mature as an artist now, etc?

    Well, check Harry in P3. I think Tom’s backsliding.

  14. The Duck of Death

    Goody gumdrops! A Mary Worth crossover! There she is in P3. I can’t wait until she gets to some hardcore muffin-baking and meddling.

  15. Dood

    I don’t think Alanis would consider this ironic at all.

  16. The Duck of Death

    You know, I wonder why Depends® were mentioned by name. Do you think Tom’s realizing that there’s money in the coveted Doddering, Incontinent Boomer demographic, and he’s now doing endorsements? I love how Holly seems to know all about them, through personal experience. “They’re great!” she says, intentionally evoking memories of cherished Boomer cereal mascot Tony the Tiger.

    Tomorrow: “Say, Funky, is that a Coke you’re drinking? I thought you were off sugar.” “HA! With once-daily Rybelsus, I can eat whatever I want and still squeeze another year or two of use out of my wrung-out pancreas! My A1C is down to 11.2! It’s great!”

    • Banana Jr. 6000

      Watch the Nostalgia Critic’s review of Food Fight from 10:47 to 11:49. Trust me, it’s relevant to your comment:

      This is EXACTLY what Tom Batiuk is doing in Funky Winkerbean. He’s fishing for product placements with a deeply shitty media product, and when he doesn’t get it, he makes the product into a bitter, hateful ersatz ripoff. Batiuk also does this to things he just plain doesn’t like. Don’t get me started on “Fleabay.” Anyway, if he’s using a real product name, he’s fishing for asspats somehow.

      By the way, that whole Food Fight review could be about Funky Winkerbean. Right after the section cited above, it goes in the movie’s horrible puns; cringe-inducing sexuality; how the characters overact with their arms because they’re so lifeless they can’t express emotions any other way; how the world’s rules don’t make any sense; the horrible stereotyping and the ugliness of its characters; and it drives the reviewer insane. Sheesh, now that I watch it again, it’s almost spot on for Funky Winkerbean.

      • The Duck of Death

        Quoting the reviewer: “EVERY SCENE ends with a bad pun!”

        He also makes a point of the ugly and inconsistent character models that stretch where they shouldn’t, obviously because the animators were lazy (and/or incompetent, rushed and/or underpaid).

        Yep, the shoe fits.