Are we STILL on this? More on Ruby's retirement Here in today's strip Batton butts right in Again, he does NOT work here Who asked him to speak? Batton's questioning A reflection of TB? Is the strip's end near? Or is this resolve? Tom writing his thoughts in strip Eff-ing ponderous A warning haiku The link above has cussing That's NSFW! With Dinkle, Linda And others who fake retire Do we believe this? We probably should Not like TB gave Ruby Anything worthwhile Chester looks depressed I mean, he's just despondent In his sad jacket
Tag Archives: the inevitable ravages of age
by billytheskink | November 15, 2022 · 10:30 pm
Re-haiku-ment
Filed under Son of Stuck Funky
Tagged as arcs where nothing happens, Atomik Komix, author avatar, Batton, Batton Thomas, boredom personified, Chester, comic books, comics, Complete Worthless Ass, curmudgeonly oldsters, depression, drafting table, endless tedium, enraging hair strands, glasses, gradient voids, gray ashen landscape, hatchet face, impending doom, jaunty scarves, Mindy, not how the world works, not how things work, not the way the world works, oddly muted squiggly lines, Old dying people, one of those arcs that just never seems to end, really dumb questions, retirement, scarf, seldom-seen characters wearing hats, squiggly lines, squiggly lines used to denote texture, stupid, the inevitable ravages of age, the ravages of age, things that never end, why?, windows
by billytheskink | November 14, 2022 · 10:30 pm
Pencil droppers, eh?!
Wait, is today’s strip taking place on the exact same day that Ruby drew Sunday’s Scorch cover?! Ruby drew a whole cover in a matter of hours?! Maybe that’s not at all surprising for a real life comic cover artist at a real life comic book company, but at Atomik Komix it sure is. These folks make “Turtle Thompson” look like AJ Foyt.
I mean, Batton is still there treadmilling and everyone is wearing the exact same things they were wearing in last week’s strips, give or take some colorist’s liberty… ok, scratch that, Mindy is wearing a skirt in today’s strip and clearly has on pants in last Saturday’s strip. Different day, I guess. In either scenario, though, we’re left to note how ridiculous it is that Batton spends so much time in the Atomik Komix bullpen. He, ostensibly, has a job drawing a comic strip, but we’ve never seen him do it. Heck, we’ve never even seen the strip-within-a-strip… and it’s not like Funky Winkerbean is above that kind of thing. He likes comic books and frequents Komix Korner from time-to-time (SUCH a unique trait in the Batiukverse, I know), but he doesn’t appear to be a regular there like he is here at the Atomik Komix bullpen. He likes or feels obligated to jog. And that’s it. That is everything we know about the guy. I don’t necessarily care to know more, but if TB insists on having his author avatar hang around places where it makes no obvious sense for him to hang around then Batton needs some purpose and motivation.
Oh yeah, also… Ruby is old, water is wet, and Chester now wears the look of someone clinically depressed.
Filed under Son of Stuck Funky
Tagged as Atomik Komix, author avatar, Batton, Batton Thomas, boredom personified, bullpen, Chester, comic books, comics, curmudgeonly oldsters, Darin, depression, disembodied hand, drafting table, eyelids, Flash, Flash Fairfield, Flash Freeman, Flash treadmill, glasses, gray ashen landscape, hatchet face, jaunty scarves, labored setup, merry-go-round, mind-numbing tedium, Mindy, Minty Pete, Mopey Pete, muppet profile, oddly muted squiggly lines, Old dying people, pencil, pencil necked geeks, pencil-neck geek, Pete, Phil, Phil Holt, possibly Battom Thomas, retirement, Ruby, Ruby Lith, sad-sackery, scarf, seldom-seen characters wearing hats, slowly dying inside, squiggly "L"s, squiggly lines, squiggly lines used to denote texture, the inevitable ravages of age, the ravages of age, tile, unnatural hand gestures
by billytheskink | November 10, 2022 · 10:30 pm
Batiuklysm
Yesterday these climage damate comics had too much testosterone… but in today’s strip Ruby is arguing that they aren’t optimistic enough. For who? For sales? For readers? For her, personally? How do you even conflate testosterone with pessimism? Is that what she’s even doing? What’s going on in her mind? What’s her motivation? Annnnnnnnnnnd, why should I care?
Flash is pretty smug about dying before the coming damate climage cataclysm occurs. I wouldn’t be if I was him. STILL drawing comic books at his age? It’s a safer bet to assume he’s immortal until proven otherwise. No one dies in the Batiukverse unless three things are satisfied:
1 – Their death is in the service of an award-winning-seeking important issue. (Okay, we can check this one, though I’m going to doubt TB has the writing chops to figure out how to kill Flash with climage damate)
2 – They are not involved in or devoted to comic books. (No check here… recall how comic book and movie serial uberschmuck Jff Murdoch survived the damate climage fire that ate Los Angeles)
3 – Their death enables Les to feel even more superior to others. (No check, again)
Filed under Son of Stuck Funky
Tagged as age discrimination, Atomik, Atomik Komix, Batton, Batton Thomas, boredom personified, character death, climate change, climate damage, comic books, comics, curmudgeonly oldsters, death, depression, Flash, Flash Fairfield, Flash Freeman, glasses, hope, insufferability, insufferable assholes, Life is a dismal horror from which you can never escape, melting faces, Old dying people, paper, Ruby, Ruby Lith, Ruby Lith's tiny neck-hand, seldom-seen characters wearing hats, smug poses, the inevitability of death, the inevitable death of the universe, the inevitable ravages of age, the ravages of age, unbearable smugness, unnatural hand gestures, welcoming death, why?
by billytheskink | August 11, 2022 · 10:30 pm
With a capital P and that rhymes with D and that stands for… uh…
The real star of yesterday’s strip finally gets top billing in today’s strip!
Like certain parts of the comics page we are too polite to mention here at Son of Stuck Funky, the old pool sits sadly: unused, unloved, overgrown, and falling apart. Unlike certain parts of the comics page we are too polite to mention here at Son of Stuck Funky, the old pool has actually been replaced.
Les is one to talk about “Summers* slipping away”…. At least Funky is willing to admit his memory lapses.
*It has been 43 days (and counting) since Summer’s most recent appearance in this strip. The three gaps prior to that were 145, 408, and 107 days.
Filed under Son of Stuck Funky
Tagged as bearded dick with ears, chair jammed in a diving board ladder, chairs, crappy ploddinng stories that never get anywhere, curmudgeonly oldsters, Funky, Funky Winkerbean, ladder, ladders, Les, Les being a giant smug douche, Les' back is turned take the shot take the shot, memory bubble, memory loss, misplaced nostalgia for things that weren't all that great to begin with, nostalgia, Not Summer, Now Funky, old crap, Old dying people, old useless junk, Remembrence of Strips Past, smug inept bearded jerks, sport, sports, swimming, Tennis, the inevitable ravages of age, the ravages of age, tile
by billytheskink | August 10, 2022 · 10:30 pm
Burning Man
One bad turn deserves another, I suppose. Today’s strip sees Les take his revenge on Funky for two strips’ worth of Crankshaft schtick with some ‘Shaft-level quote muddle-ment of his own. Where did you pull this piece of unwisdom from, Les, I Chong?
The master says: Piles of excrement comes out of both ends of Les, but only one pile can can be flushed.
Filed under Son of Stuck Funky
Tagged as bearded dick with ears, chair jammed in a diving board ladder, curmudgeonly oldsters, dismal world view, Fire, Funky, Funky Winkerbean, general dickishness, hatchet face, headband, Inappropriate quotes, Les, Les being a giant smug douche, Les' back is turned take the shot take the shot, Life is a dismal horror from which you can never escape, morbidity, muppet profile, Now Funky, old crap, Old dying people, old useless junk, pickleball, sport, sports, swimming, Tennis, the inevitable ravages of age, the ravages of age, trees, uninteresting stupid anecdotes, useless old junk
by billytheskink | August 9, 2022 · 10:30 pm
I guess that’s why they call it refuse
Les continues to set Funky up for this tiresome Crankshaft schtick in today’s strip. Why? Why is he doing this? Is.. is he enjoying this? He’s even more monstrous than I thought!
The real story behind the name of pickleball is (not-widely) debated, though all of the purported origins clear the low bar of being more interesting than the one put forth in this strip. I’m surprised, actually, that pickleball has not caught on in Westview, given that it was invented by a guy* who died of cancer…
*apologies to the late Joel Pritchard
Filed under Son of Stuck Funky
Tagged as bad hair, bench, crippling yet trivial injury, curmudgeonly oldsters, Funky, Funky Winkerbean, hatchet face, injuries, Life is a dismal horror from which you can never escape, Montoni's T shirt, Now Funky, Old dying people, park bench, pickleball, really dumb questions, silhouette, silhouettes, sport, sports, Tennis, the inevitable ravages of age, the ravages of age, trees, very old gags, Willy
by billytheskink | August 8, 2022 · 10:30 pm
Dr. Schmoe’s
Did you know Funky is old and injured? He’s so old and injured, y’all… see today’s strip for reference if you don’t believe me. When did this happen? Funky being old and injured has NEVER been mentioned in this comic strip before…
Les, though? Les is probably YEARS away from qualifying for his own cancer run’s over 65 division even though he graduated high school the same year Funky did. Look at him, no orthotics of any kind. Heck, he doesn’t even bother putting a strap on his glasses to play tennis.
Filed under Son of Stuck Funky
Tagged as bench, crippling yet trivial injury, curmudgeonly oldsters, Funky, Funky Winkerbean, Funkys, injuries, Les, Les being a giant smug douche, Les' back is turned take the shot take the shot, Life is a dismal horror from which you can never escape, Montoni's T shirt, Now Funky, Old dying people, park bench, sport, sports, Tennis, the inevitable ravages of age, the ravages of age, trash can, trees
by billytheskink | August 7, 2022 · 10:30 pm
Rent-A-Fiend
Thanks TFH, enjoy your well-deserved break. You got some real stinkers… I mean, we all do, but I feel like saying that trivializes how uniquely awful each two week shift can be.
Oh, so we’re carrying Sunday’s setting over into today’s strip? Well, that’s one way to make Funky sympathetic after last week’s behavior… stick him next to Les the following week.
“Bunged up”? Is Funky continuing to morph into Crankshaft or is he suddenly a British chap with a bit of a knee allergy? Either way, Funky has apparently had the kind of knee trouble that keeps you off the tennis court for over four years (shout out to that Rick Burchett artwork). And, of course, Les got better results from tennis lessons than Funky did. Of course.
Filed under Son of Stuck Funky
Tagged as appalling lack of sportsmanship, believable friendships, bench, crippling yet trivial injury, Funky, Funky Winkerbean, headband, imaginary friends, injuries, insufferable assholes, knowing smirks, Les, Les being a giant smug douche, Montoni's T shirt, Now Funky, park bench, smirk, smirking, smirks, smirks exchanged, smug inept bearded jerks, smug poses, sport, sports, Teachers who hated Les, Tennis, the inevitable ravages of age, the ravages of age, trees, unbearable smugness
by billytheskink | May 20, 2022 · 10:30 pm
Off The Depend
Today’s strip is both stupid and gross. I have nothing else to say about it.
Here are some better comic strips, read them instead…
Filed under Son of Stuck Funky
Tagged as awful wordplay, bad wordplay, complete lack of humor, Complete Worthless Ass, crappy ploddinng stories that never get anywhere, Crazy, Crazy Harry, curmudgeonly oldsters, disembodied hand, Funky, Funky Winkerbean, Funkys, hip, Holly, I used to be cool, idiocy, isn't it ironic?, lame wordplay, misappropriated wordplay, Montoni's, Montoni's apron, moronic grins, Now Crazy Harry, Now Funky, old crap, Old dying people, pizza, really dumb questions, sad-sackery, sheer idiocy, Squick, stupid, sub-moronic wordplay, terrible wordplay, the inevitable ravages of age, the raptor claw in Holly's hair, the ravages of age, tiny hands, toilet humor, unnatural hand gestures, wordplay
by billytheskink | May 19, 2022 · 10:30 pm
It’s not even a proper hip. It’s polystyrene.
Today’s strip FINALLY gets to the point, if indirectly and dishonestly. Despite his protesting, Crazy doesn’t really want to be hip… He’s not sad that he doesn’t have the time or energy to keep up with what’s popular on the radio Spotify these days, he’s sad that listening to new music would require a modicum of effort from him. He’s sad because he has decided he wouldn’t enjoy listening to anything new even though he hasn’t even tried.
In short, he’s sad that what’s “hip” doesn’t conform to what he already likes.
Well if that isn’t this comic strip in a nutshell…
Filed under Son of Stuck Funky
Tagged as awful wordplay, bad wordplay, bitter resignation, bitterness, bricks, complete lack of humor, Complete Worthless Ass, Crazy, Crazy Harry, curmudgeonly oldsters, Funky, Funky Winkerbean, Funkys, hatchet face, hip, I used to be cool, lame wordplay, misappropriated wordplay, Montoni's, neatly lettered signs, Now Crazy Harry, Now Funky, Old dying people, old useless junk, pathetic attempts at relevance, Pun, punnery, puns, sad-sackery, sub-moronic wordplay, terrible wordplay, the inevitable ravages of age, the ravages of age, wordplay
Son of Stuck Funky 
