Tag Archives: Flash

In Fact, Terrible

Link To The Sunday Strip

Four generic superheroes battling four generic super villains in front of a plain background…THIS is what they toiled over all week? And look at Flash in the reality bubble, all smug and self-satisfied, like he actually accomplished something. I wish he’d do an arc where Chester shits himself over the astoundingly terrible work these imbeciles keep cranking out. “Wayback Wendy”, “Pion”, “Scorch”…I mean come on. Chester has to be losing money hand over fist on this horseshit.

I really, really need for this arc to be over. I mean yes, it’ll take way more than that to truly break me, but this one really tested my patience. Fortunately, it would appear that Mason Jarre is on deck, to take us in a “different direction”, hopefully a direction that has nothing to do with comic books or marching bands. If it turns out he wants to do an animated film about a marching band composed entirely of superheroes, that might be all for me.

58 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

It’s All About The He Said He Said Comic Book Bullshit

Link To Saturday

A dumb premise, centered around two characters no one cares about, executed poorly…this one truly had it all. My goal is to forget about Phil, Flash and their imbecilic comic book drivel as quickly as possible, which should be really, really easy. I’ve seen plenty of stupefying, tedious FW arcs in my day, but man oh man, this one was right up (or down) there with ANY of them. Hopefully tomorrow’s comic book cover shovels dirt on this thing, because it’s definitely time to move the f*ck on from whatever this was supposed to be.

32 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Q: What’s Batom’s Favorite Element? A: Bore-On

Link To This One

At a quick glance, “hadron” is real, real close to “hardon”, which might have made for a WAY more compelling super villain if you ask me. So what’s the deal with “Pion”? Is he or she supposed to be some sort of punk rock cheerleader or something? I mean, what would sub-atomic themed super villains even do?

Please, I was just thinking out loud so don’t take me literally and start to speculate, as no one needs or wants that. With each painfully slowly passing day, it becomes more and more obvious why Flash and Phil were out of work for fifty years. And correct me if I’m wrong here, but weren’t they all just standing around talking as recently as yesterday? So when did Phil draw this shit? Again, no need to actually answer that.

45 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

He Blinded Me With Word Balloons Pertaining To Science. Blinded Me, With Word Balloons Pertaining To Science!

Link To Today’s

Wow, what an ugly, ungainly mess this one is. The vertical single-paneler is possibly the most annoying FW gimmick of them all, but cramming it full of TWENTY word balloons takes this debacle to a whole new level of stupid. As usual, the gag here (“it’s all already been done”) is fine in and of itself, but the execution is botched, bungled and mangled beyond belief to the point where only hardcore FW readers will “get” it and even then it’s iffy. Thus far in 2022 there’s been a noticeable decline in the quality of the strip’s wry banter, to a point where you have to seriously wonder if perhaps there’s some sort of legitimate cognitive impairment involved. Or maybe it’s just the shittiness of the premise, it’s tough to tell one way or the other.

45 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Humans Being Boring

Link To This One

Wow, this Flash asshole sure has an attitude on him, especially considering how Pete got him his current gig after he more or less just wandered in off the street. Once again we see another stellar example of BatYam intentions being clear, but his dialog being all askew and peculiar. I guess “you mean like humans?” wouldn’t fit in the word balloon. Not that it would have helped all that much, but still.

40 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Harnessing The Weak Force

Link To Today’s Installment

Finally, an in-depth look into the inner workings of a legendary comic book bullpen. It’s about damn time, too. I honestly had no idea that this is how they do it. I assumed the comic book writers and artists would sit around brainstorming, sketching and spitballing ideas around the room in a Red Bull and Skittles-fueled frenzy. But it turns out it’s really just two somewhat slow-witted morons slowly bungling their way into the foundation of a barely-passable premise. I have to imagine that they fill in the details after. I wonder how many other comic writers of note use that approach?

This is some really, really bad dialog right here. It reads like it was randomly generated, which I suppose it sort of was, in a manner of speaking. It’s just amazing how he can take a personal passion (in this case, legendary comic book company bullpens) and just completely and totally drain every last morsel of humor, joy and fun out of it, leaving nothing but dull, mundane and often confusing banter.

37 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

This Call To The Bullpen Is Brought To You By Intense Ennui

Link To This One

Blurgh. You have got to be f*cking kidding me. Not these two tiresome codgers again, it’s just too damn soon. The way this Flash asshole emerged from nowhere to become one of the most-used characters in the strip is one of Act III’s most astonishing developments. Suddenly Flash is pretty much the brains behind the entire Atomix Komix operation, the ever-patient comic book sage who spins his pathetic colleagues’ pitiful ramblings into comic book gold. He just has this undying fascination with this kind of ridiculous comic book creator banter, like this is how people actually work.

The less said about that woeful Type Face gag, the better. I liked Phil better when he was a gruff, surly jerk, as opposed to the moronic buffoon he is now. I liked him best of all when he was still dead, of course, but that ship has sailed.

68 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky