Tag Archives: the ravages of age


Link To Today’s Strip

It’s almost hard to believe that the same guy responsible for last week’s atrocious jokes was also responsible for this terrible-yet-not-quite-as-bad gag, isn’t it? Apparently our old friend Fitness Girl isn’t just a trainer but some sort of all-purpose Fitness Guru. I honestly don’t care either way, as I’m still basking in the post-Adeela era, like someone who’s crawling out of a bomb shelter on a dismal drizzly day and is just thrilled to have survived at all. And besides, seeing Funky in physical pain is oddly satisfying, like when you look at the cricket you just whomped with your shoe. It’d be WAY more satisfying if it were Les but I suppose you can’t have everything.


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Crash Test Mummy

This is the arc that never ends
No, it goes on and on, my friend
Today’s strip… promises an end in only one more day
But they’ve been in Ohio since mid-week so I must say…

This is the arc that never ends
No, it goes on and on, my friend
TB has… concerning issues writing about old parents
They seem to have a death wish, which in Westview makes some sense…

‘Cause this is the arc that never ends
No, it goes on and on my friend
I have… avoided song parody but now am forced to cave
I apologize to Shari Lewis as she rolls in her grave…

This is the arc that never ends
No, it goes on and on, my friend…


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

In A Mirror, Glumly

Is TB is trying to tell us something in today’s strip? “I guess it’s OK to keep going” has been the unofficial motto of this strip ever since he realized that 50 was only 15 more than 35, hasn’t it?

Whether TB had a bout of self-awareness or not, this strip is a confession of poor effort. The parts are all there? Sure, we’ll go along with that. Pity they were never any good, though.

That’s it for the stint of this humble garden lizard. Comic Book Harriet takes over tomorrow, and we shall all see whether the good ship Funky stays in the doldrums of Dinkle or finds some newfound rocks upon which to run aground.


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Boresday, February 1

Today’s strip was, again, not available for preview.

So, let’s look back at the 1983 introduction of the goat that so disturbed Buck back in the day, Billy the Scapegoat. Or was his name actually Billy? The answer may surprise you… but probably won’t interest you.

First, the whole thing was Dinkle’s idea, including the name “Billy”.  Unfortunately for the Westview football team, the goat did not possess divine power.


“Billy” was under the impression that Westview had the only terrible high school football team in existence.  Though this might explain why he ran onto the field hitting players.


He also didn’t care for the uninspired name Dinkle gave him, preferring his own uninspired name.  No ever called him Paul, of course, because he couldn’t talk.


While called a “scapegoat”, Billy-Paul was more like an oracle, his heavy-lidded ennui a prophesy of things to come for this strip.


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

O Little Town Of Memphis

Link To Today’s Strip

Merry Christmas to our SoSF guest hosts and commenters! Without YOU it’s all just masturbation! Have a great holiday!!

Man, Funky sure is aging (even more) poorly…the New Guy added a solid ten to fifteen years to his already-decrepit character. Soon he’ll just be a skeleton…a big fat skeleton. Obviously it’s seems HIGHLY unlikely that his father went all the way to Memphis to record a CD without him knowing about it but by the standards of the Funkyverse it’s sort of believable. I mean just last week some guy bought “Lisa’s Trilogy” as a Xmas gift for his dead wife, so this seems rather innocuous in comparison.

“Greetings From Memphis”…wow what a shitty title, they only recorded in Memphis, they don’t live there. “Hits From The Oxygen Bottle”…”Over The Hills And Warfarin Away”…”Nights in White Pravastatin”…”(Let’s Get) Physical (Therapy)…”Stairlift To Heaven”…”Code Blue Christmas”…”Fractured Hippy Shake”…”Like A Rolling Kidney Stone”… “Stray Cataract Blues”…”The Grandkids Are Alright”…”(Do You Remember) AM Talk Radio”…”Every Assisted Breath You Take”…”Walker This Way”…”We (Medi)Care A Lot”…now THOSE are titles befitting the Bedside Manorisms. “Greetings From Memphis” will just confuse people, or it would if anyone actually cared.


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

The Sinking Of The CSS Holly

Today’s strip makes it two strips in a row for Donna. That hasn’t happened in a good long while. Wait… Wait. Funky’s there, so this has got to be Holly.

Sorry about that. I’m sure the whole “Holly and Donna look alike” joke is wearing thin these days, but when they appear in back-to-back strips I think it is obligatory. At the very least, it sure hasn’t worn any thinner than jokes about old people getting older. What is Holly looking at on that computer anyway, a Punch and Judy fan site?

You know, I’m starting to think this week is a collection of deleted scenes from other week long arcs. It’s like getting a bonus DVD with Ishtar.


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Get A Grip

Bull’s busted racket in today’s strip would fit real nicely around Les’ cranium, wouldn’t it? Alas, the grinning visage Les sports in panel 1 as he patronizes Bull shows no obvious signs of blunt force trauma.

And so here we are at the presumable conclusion of a 5 strip story arc centered on a “friendly” tennis match between Les and Bull played in Westview, Ohio. It ends with one character welcoming the certainty and nearness of death. Of course it does…


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Backhanded Compliment

Les finally pries open that smirk in today’s strip. Does he continue to live up to his well-earned reputation as the biggest schmuck on the comics page? Boy, does he ever!

This is, perhaps, the perfect test to see if the jerk store called and is running out of you:
Your friend has a panicked expression on his face and is admittedly struggling to breathe, beyond being typically “winded”, what do you do?

– A – Make a joke about his possibly health-threatening condition being an improvement for the environment.
– B – Do pretty much anything else.

Bonus Haiku:
I don’t know what it
Is… but I just can’t seem to
Exhale completely

Even when potentially in need of medical attention, Bull puts forth his second haiku in as many panels. This is notable because it is more than the last three years’ worth of writing from Les and Mopey Pete combined.


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky


Aging gracefully
No one in Westview does it
As today’s strip shows

Smugly smirking Les
Has not spoken yet this week
Still so hate-able

The second panel
It is um… well, it… oh boy
Photoshop away

So many chain links
Has TB found his new muse
Alongside red brick

These days I grunt when
I sit down for a break… and
When I get back up

Well, what do you know
Bull is a better poet
Than Les the writer


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

The Internet Is Still Useless

Link To Today’s Strip

Poor, poor Cindy. A former national network TV news anchor and engaged to a Hollywood superhunk, yet forced to toil in the sordid internet mines just to earn her keep. Such a wry, tragic tale. How many more humiliating indignities will Westview High’s former “it girl” be forced to endure? How many more times will she be faced with a reminder of just how old, washed-up and over the hill she is? Why are the inexorable forces of The Universe stripping her of every shred of confidence and self-worth she has?

I don’t know, but since it’s only Monday, it’s gotta be something. Probably some hilarious stuff about how insecure she is, possibly some comic books thrown in there, maybe an anecdote about a young Stan Lee having his wallet stolen at the first-ever Comic Con, who knows? The way 2016 is going it could literally be anything, at any time, for any reason. Or no reason at all.

Buddyblog always reminds me of Buddy, Wally’s suddenly missing service dog. Man, I miss that mutt. No dialog, no smirking, no wryness, no poorly-rendered nose, just an aloof canine “cool” that the rest of these morons are sorely lacking. Bring back Buddy!


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky