Tag Archives: uninteresting stupid anecdotes

by billytheskink | September 21, 2021 · 10:30 pm

Healing fact-or fiction?

Oh sweet Sousa, it’s HIM! I guess we all knew his appearance was inevitable after Holly brought up band alumni yesterday, but I think we were all hoping he wouldn’t show up as soon as today’s strip. But now he is involved AND he is tossing around comic book/video game terminology like he‘s DSH or the other guy in this strip named Harry, making this story arc go from insufferably bland to straight up insufferable in three panels flat. And now we know Holly wasn’t the only majorette he routinely maimed…

Holly really shouldn’t be surprised he remembers her, though. After all, he named his shoe brand’s majorette marching boots after her. I guess that means he is being sincere then telling her she was the best majorette he ever had, though I’ll also bet he‘s been keeping her royalty checks from the sale of those boots for the past 29 years too.

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Tagged as alumni band, ancient Dinkle gags, band, band directing, cell phones, cellphone, crippling yet trivial injury, Dinkle, enraging hair strands, Harry, Harry Dinkle, HIM, Holly, injuries, magic, marching band, marching bands, misplaced nostalgia for things that weren't all that great to begin with, mouths way too low on the face, nostalgia, Old Dinkle, old Harry Dinkle, Son of Stuck Funky, stupid, the raptor claw in Holly's hair, towel curtains, uninteresting stupid anecdotes, Westview HS Band, WHS band

by billytheskink | July 6, 2021 · 10:30 pm

Something’s got a Holt on me

If there was a contest to use the most words possible to say “Flash and Phil didn’t like each other”, today’s strip would definitely be a contender. Same for a most exposition crammed into a single panel contest, with panel 1 making a game effort. The only place such contests could possibly exist is, of course, the Batiukverse… so please forgive me if similar contests appear in this strip a year from now.

All that exposition in the first panel and Flash doesn’t realize the hall of fame awards given out at Comic-Con honor the deceased on the regular? Seems like having Comic-Con remotely would work well in Flash’s hypothetical honoring a live Phil Holt scenario, but since Flash doesn’t even know that dead people regularly get honored at this and other hall of fame ceremonies then it stands to reason that he wouldn’t know that Comic-Con and other events are held remotely. And by “Flash” in the previous sentence, I mean TB.

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Tagged as air travel, airplanes, awards, Batom Comics, Batom's bizarre comic book fantasy world, character death, Chester, Chester the Chiseler, comic books, Comic-Con, comics, Darin, death, Eisner Awards, embarrassing errors a comics fan shouldn't make, Flash Freeman, flight risks, not how the world works, old crap, Old dying people, Phil Holt, Ruby, Ruby Lith, silly awards, the comic book industry, the untimely death of Phil Holt, unearned awards, uninteresting stupid anecdotes, weird noses, word zeppelins

by billytheskink | July 5, 2021 · 10:30 pm

Understatement Of The Year

How do you make a “long story” longer? You do what TB does in today’s strip, talk about how long the story is while telling absolutely none of it. It could low-level fridge brilliance if it was in the service of a joke about how long everything in this story arc seems to be taking.

How do you make a short SOSF post shorter? Make it about today’s strip…

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Tagged as air travel, airplanes, Atomik Komix, Batom Comics, Batom's bizarre comic book fantasy world, boredom personified, chemtrails, Chester, Chester the Chiseler, comic books, comics, Darin, endless tedium, enraging hair strands, Flash Freeman, flight risks, hatch, hatchet face, mind-numbing tedium, Old dying people, Phil Holt, Ruby, Ruby Lith, smirk, smirks, stupid, tedium, the comic book industry, the untimely death of Phil Holt, uninteresting stupid anecdotes, unnatural hand gestures, unwarranted wry sarcasm, weird noses

by billytheskink | July 2, 2021 · 10:30 pm

Encyclopedia Brown And The Case Of The Disembodied Nerd Voice

I’m less curious about the identity of the unseen mystery nerd in today’s strip than I am about how they intend to “make it” to Comic-Con, which even in the Batiukverse is occurring “@HOME”.

Hey waitjustagoshdarnminute! This webpage is the same thing Pete was looking at on Monday, isn’t it?! Pete wasn’t even contacted directly by the Comic-Con or Eisner Award folks? He learned the news by reading a press release on the Comic-Con website? I don’t know if that is hilarious, sad, or hilariously sad…

(Some of our loyal SOSF commenters actually noted that Pete seemed to learn of Flash and Ruby’s induction via such indirect communication as a webpage earlier this week. It would appear that J.J. O’Malley was the first commenter to mention it, so please come up to receive your “Beady-Eyed Nitpicker” award, J.J.)

30 Comments

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Tagged as arcs where nothing happens, awards, Batom's bizarre comic book fantasy world, boredom personified, comic books, Comic-Con, comics, complete lack of humor, contempt for comic book nerds, disembodied voices within pointy word balloons to indicate disembodiness, Eisner Awards, embarrassing errors a comics fan shouldn't make, false suspense, NERDS!, not how the world works, pen, pencil, Pineapple computers, silly awards, technology, the comic book industry, the internet, unearned awards, uninteresting stupid anecdotes, waiting for things not worth waiting for, ways the internet ruined things, women in comics

by billytheskink | April 15, 2021 · 10:30 pm

Looking for Mr. Goodbar?

Hey, I know who that is in today’s strip! No, not the choir lady. Bunhead. She went to community college and/or Kent State with Wally and Adeela! She even changed her sweatshirt mid-class once. No, twice! She also was in one of Rachel’s community college art teaching certification classes, apparently. And now she’s answering the door in a neighborhood deemed moneyed enough to waste money on ~~band~~ choir candy! Moving up in the world. Maybe one day she’ll graduate from college, or at least wear something other than a sweatshirt. It is good to have goals.

I have nothing else to say about this strip other than “at least Dinkle isn’t in it”.

At least Dinkle isn’t in it.

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Tagged as band candy, bunhead, chocolate, choir, choir candy, doors, fundraising, hoodie, Old dying people, old gags from the 1970's, recycled gags, rehashes, St. Spires, terrible artwork, uninteresting stupid anecdotes, very old gags

by billytheskink | January 21, 2021 · 10:30 pm

Eye am about out of eye puns

And eye (ugh) *s-eye* (no no no) *sigh* (that’s better) sorry… I am about out of patience with this anti-majestic glacier of a story line. Every single thing in today’s strip happened in yesterday’s strip as well. I’m not sure even Garfield or Family Circus recycle at this level… I don’t know if this will help, but I have cut the 62 words in these last two strips down to 20 in an attempt to make this never-ending story stronger and more concise.

Dr. Droopy: Cataract surgery is pretty common nowadays.  It is quite safe and not especially complicated.
Funky: I'm worried! WORRIED, I TELLS YA!

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Tagged as arcs that go on too long, arcs where nothing happens, awful dialog, Bad medical news, boredom personified, bug-eyes, comma eyes, crappy ploddinng stories that never get anywhere, doctor guy, doctors, Droopy, dull stories, four eyes, Funky, Funky Winkerbean, glib doctors, hatchet face, manila folder, medical professionals, Now Funky, oddly muted squiggly lines, one of those arcs that just never seems to end, recycled gags, sad-sackery, squiggly eyebrows, squiggly lines, squiggly lines used to denote texture, stupid, things that make you seriously regret ever starting to read FW in the first place, tiny hands, uninteresting stupid anecdotes, unnatural hand gestures, unneccessarily long arcs, very long arcs, weird noses

by billytheskink | January 18, 2021 · 10:30 pm

¡Eye Caramba!

I apologize that the post title significantly oversells the drab discharge that is today’s strip. Funky has cataracts, just like many people over age 65. Cataracts make it hard to see clearly, as Dr. Droopy so helpfully informs us. Will Funky and Dr. Droopy decide what to do about these cataracts by Saturday? If you care about the answer to that question, please seek help.

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Tagged as "jokes" that aren't really jokes at all, arcs that go on too long, arcs where nothing happens, boredom personified, comma eyes, complete lack of humor, Complete Worthless Ass, crappy ploddinng stories that never get anywhere, doctor guy, doctors, Droopy, dull stories, four eyes, glib doctors, Old dying people, one of those arcs that just never seems to end, sad-sackery, sheer idiocy, stupid, the inevitable ravages of age, the ravages of age, uninteresting stupid anecdotes, unneccessarily long arcs, very long arcs

by billytheskink | July 21, 2020 · 10:30 pm

Waitersday, July 22

Today’s strip was not available for preview; I guess that’s a Wednesday thing now. Les is, presumably, still antagonizing over the terrible horrible no-good very bad fate of making a 6 word cameo in a major motion picture. ¡Qué mala suerte!

While we wait on that, why not take another trip in the WABATIUK machine with me and check out a particularly disgusting Act II scene with Les Moore, the Midwest’s greatest monster, and his legendarily thin skin. Here, less than 3 months into their marriage, Lisa made the mistake of offering up some constructive criticism of Les’ in-progress and all-stupid John Darling book manuscript. Les acts like Les and Lisa complains about it downstairs in a conversation with co-worker Funky (EVERYONE in Westview has worked at Montoni’s at one time or another, it’s like compulsory military service in countries that have that). Lisa has Les pegged perfectly…

FW1-29-97

This rare moment of seeming self-awareness from TB about the monster that Les truly is proves fleeting, though. The very next strip, Lisa regrets not giving Les ten thousand words of well-reasoned adulation. Funky and Tony convincer her to bring him a pizza, and for good measure she stops by Komix Korner on her way home as well. Seriously, Les’ oversensitivity is rewarded with pizza and comic books and… an “apology” from Lisa.

This man must be stopped! This film must be stopped! This strip must be stopped!

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Tagged as Anon-O-Character, Anon-O-Characters, cancer films, hatchet face, Hollywood, how things are NEVER done, huge hands, Les, Les being a giant smug douche, MasoLes, Mason, Mason Jarr, Mason Jarre, Mason's Nose, movies, not how movies are made, random film crew, smug inept bearded jerks, soundstage, uninteresting stupid anecdotes, wig, writing

by billytheskink | April 11, 2020 · 11:45 pm

EvesdroPete

Crazy Harry shows us all that he never took a sales class in today’s strip, shilling for Atomik Komix by dumping on the comic book industry’s far more popular, far more established, and far more successful giants while Creepy Pete creeps about like a creeper (but not the comic book character, who has appeared in *gasp* multiple universes!). Maybe it worked, though we don’t actually see Komix Korner’s first sale since the Obama administration. This, uh… child (I think) actually seems interested in wasting $2.99 on a copy of Atomic Ape and its single universe of simian shlock. Sorry, the gray shading on that kid’s hair is throwing me off, he looks like a tiny Tom Batiuk.

This gripe about multiple universes that is shared by maybe 0.001% of all comic book fans that I have ever met is especially rich coming from TB, a guy who writes two comic strips that share a universe together and with a 3rd defunct strip, one of which is set 10 years ahead of the other even though both are depicted as taking place in the present day. So much less confusing than multiple universes…

Have a safe, healthy, and happy Easter Sunday SOSFers!

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Tagged as Atomic Ape, Atomik Komix, Batman, Batom's bizarre comic book fantasy world, Captain America, comic books, comics, Crazy, Crazy Harry, embarrassing errors a comics fan shouldn't make, K2SO, Komix Korner, Mopey Pete, Now Crazy Harry, Pete, Punisher, random child, random parents, sheer idiocy, the comic book industry, tiny hands, traveling green shirt, uninteresting stupid anecdotes, Wolverine

by billytheskink | April 8, 2020 · 11:15 pm

Haika not believe this

Oh really, TB?
You are really going there
here in today’s strip?

I was just joking
About Buck hitting on her
But you’re doing it!

There’s no other way
No other way to read this
What is wrong with you?!

This is just awful
Gross disgusting terrible
On every level

And poor Lord Byron
Really does not deserve this
Rolling in his grave

It’s an awful month
COVID-19’s bad enough
Now this on my mind

_______________________________

Happy belated
10 year anniversary
Son Of Stuck Funky

47 Comments

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Tagged as anniversary, Batiukmobile®, Buck, Buck Bedlow, CTE, disgust, lame wordplay, Linda, Linda Bushka, lost cause, old crap, Old dying people, old useless junk, poetry, sloppy use of tape, Squick, tags you never thought you'd use, uninteresting stupid anecdotes, very old gags

Tag Archives: uninteresting stupid anecdotes

Healing fact-or fiction?

Something’s got a Holt on me

Understatement Of The Year

Encyclopedia Brown And The Case Of The Disembodied Nerd Voice

Looking for Mr. Goodbar?

Eye am about out of eye puns

¡Eye Caramba!

Waitersday, July 22

EvesdroPete

Haika not believe this

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