Tag Archives: uninteresting stupid anecdotes

by billytheskink | January 21, 2021 · 10:30 pm

Eye am about out of eye puns

And eye (ugh) *s-eye* (no no no) *sigh* (that’s better) sorry… I am about out of patience with this anti-majestic glacier of a story line. Every single thing in today’s strip happened in yesterday’s strip as well. I’m not sure even Garfield or Family Circus recycle at this level… I don’t know if this will help, but I have cut the 62 words in these last two strips down to 20 in an attempt to make this never-ending story stronger and more concise.

Dr. Droopy: Cataract surgery is pretty common nowadays.  It is quite safe and not especially complicated.
Funky: I'm worried! WORRIED, I TELLS YA!

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Tagged as arcs that go on too long, arcs where nothing happens, awful dialog, Bad medical news, boredom personified, bug-eyes, comma eyes, crappy ploddinng stories that never get anywhere, doctor guy, doctors, Droopy, dull stories, four eyes, Funky, Funky Winkerbean, glib doctors, hatchet face, manila folder, medical professionals, Now Funky, oddly muted squiggly lines, one of those arcs that just never seems to end, recycled gags, sad-sackery, squiggly eyebrows, squiggly lines, squiggly lines used to denote texture, stupid, things that make you seriously regret ever starting to read FW in the first place, tiny hands, uninteresting stupid anecdotes, unnatural hand gestures, unneccessarily long arcs, very long arcs, weird noses

by billytheskink | January 18, 2021 · 10:30 pm

¡Eye Caramba!

I apologize that the post title significantly oversells the drab discharge that is today’s strip. Funky has cataracts, just like many people over age 65. Cataracts make it hard to see clearly, as Dr. Droopy so helpfully informs us. Will Funky and Dr. Droopy decide what to do about these cataracts by Saturday? If you care about the answer to that question, please seek help.

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Tagged as "jokes" that aren't really jokes at all, arcs that go on too long, arcs where nothing happens, boredom personified, comma eyes, complete lack of humor, Complete Worthless Ass, crappy ploddinng stories that never get anywhere, doctor guy, doctors, Droopy, dull stories, four eyes, glib doctors, Old dying people, one of those arcs that just never seems to end, sad-sackery, sheer idiocy, stupid, the inevitable ravages of age, the ravages of age, uninteresting stupid anecdotes, unneccessarily long arcs, very long arcs

by billytheskink | July 21, 2020 · 10:30 pm

Waitersday, July 22

Today’s strip was not available for preview; I guess that’s a Wednesday thing now. Les is, presumably, still antagonizing over the terrible horrible no-good very bad fate of making a 6 word cameo in a major motion picture. ¡Qué mala suerte!

While we wait on that, why not take another trip in the WABATIUK machine with me and check out a particularly disgusting Act II scene with Les Moore, the Midwest’s greatest monster, and his legendarily thin skin. Here, less than 3 months into their marriage, Lisa made the mistake of offering up some constructive criticism of Les’ in-progress and all-stupid John Darling book manuscript. Les acts like Les and Lisa complains about it downstairs in a conversation with co-worker Funky (EVERYONE in Westview has worked at Montoni’s at one time or another, it’s like compulsory military service in countries that have that). Lisa has Les pegged perfectly…

FW1-29-97

This rare moment of seeming self-awareness from TB about the monster that Les truly is proves fleeting, though. The very next strip, Lisa regrets not giving Les ten thousand words of well-reasoned adulation. Funky and Tony convincer her to bring him a pizza, and for good measure she stops by Komix Korner on her way home as well. Seriously, Les’ oversensitivity is rewarded with pizza and comic books and… an “apology” from Lisa.

This man must be stopped! This film must be stopped! This strip must be stopped!

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Tagged as Anon-O-Character, Anon-O-Characters, cancer films, hatchet face, Hollywood, how things are NEVER done, huge hands, Les, Les being a giant smug douche, MasoLes, Mason, Mason Jarr, Mason Jarre, Mason's Nose, movies, not how movies are made, random film crew, smug inept bearded jerks, soundstage, uninteresting stupid anecdotes, wig, writing

by billytheskink | April 11, 2020 · 11:45 pm

EvesdroPete

Crazy Harry shows us all that he never took a sales class in today’s strip, shilling for Atomik Komix by dumping on the comic book industry’s far more popular, far more established, and far more successful giants while Creepy Pete creeps about like a creeper (but not the comic book character, who has appeared in *gasp* multiple universes!). Maybe it worked, though we don’t actually see Komix Korner’s first sale since the Obama administration. This, uh… child (I think) actually seems interested in wasting $2.99 on a copy of Atomic Ape and its single universe of simian shlock. Sorry, the gray shading on that kid’s hair is throwing me off, he looks like a tiny Tom Batiuk.

This gripe about multiple universes that is shared by maybe 0.001% of all comic book fans that I have ever met is especially rich coming from TB, a guy who writes two comic strips that share a universe together and with a 3rd defunct strip, one of which is set 10 years ahead of the other even though both are depicted as taking place in the present day. So much less confusing than multiple universes…

Have a safe, healthy, and happy Easter Sunday SOSFers!

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Tagged as Atomic Ape, Atomik Komix, Batman, Batom's bizarre comic book fantasy world, Captain America, comic books, comics, Crazy, Crazy Harry, embarrassing errors a comics fan shouldn't make, K2SO, Komix Korner, Mopey Pete, Now Crazy Harry, Pete, Punisher, random child, random parents, sheer idiocy, the comic book industry, tiny hands, traveling green shirt, uninteresting stupid anecdotes, Wolverine

by billytheskink | April 8, 2020 · 11:15 pm

Haika not believe this

Oh really, TB?
You are really going there
here in today’s strip?

I was just joking
About Buck hitting on her
But you’re doing it!

There’s no other way
No other way to read this
What is wrong with you?!

This is just awful
Gross disgusting terrible
On every level

And poor Lord Byron
Really does not deserve this
Rolling in his grave

It’s an awful month
COVID-19’s bad enough
Now this on my mind

_______________________________

Happy belated
10 year anniversary
Son Of Stuck Funky

47 Comments

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Tagged as anniversary, Batiukmobile®, Buck, Buck Bedlow, CTE, disgust, lame wordplay, Linda, Linda Bushka, lost cause, old crap, Old dying people, old useless junk, poetry, sloppy use of tape, Squick, tags you never thought you'd use, uninteresting stupid anecdotes, very old gags

by billytheskink | April 6, 2020 · 10:30 pm

De Jock Vu

Today’s strip takes us back in time to Sunday, I think. Yep, TB is repeating himself all of two days later… eh, he’s done worse.

Well, not much worse, because Buck hitting on Linda (and insulting the entire canine species) is some of squickiest squick we’ve seen TB hatch in a good long while. How else are we supposed to read “a little attention and a job to do”? This is not cute or endearing, it’s gross. Buck looking kinda like Dennis Hastert does the strip no favors either. Just awful all the way around.

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Tagged as boxes, Buck, Buck Bedlow, dogs, football, Linda, Linda Bushka, old useless junk, Scapegoats, sheer idiocy, sloppy use of tape, sport, Squick, uninteresting stupid anecdotes, Westview High School, WHS Scapegoats, WHS Sports Hall Of Fame

by billytheskink | April 5, 2020 · 10:55 pm

Habakbuck

Aaaaaaaaaaaaand… we’re still watching Buck and Linda wade through Bull’s sports junk in today’s strip? Of course we are. This is post-40th anniversary Funky Winkerbean we’re looking at, expectations are for fools.

Oh hi, I’m billytheskink, and speaking of anniversaries… I’m proud to be the one to take you all through the 10th anniversary of this here groundbreaking blog. I will, however, profess nothing but lament that we must be subjected to the maudlin nonexistence of a story arc that is surely coming this week.

So Buck has the same problem with hoarding sports memorabilia that Bull had? That sounds like a trite but reasonable “men, amirite” bit until you consider that Bull followed his high school football career with a 4 year college career, an NFL training camp invite, assistant and head football coaching jobs at Westview High School, a head girl’s basketball coaching job at WHS, a rescinded offer to coach a college football team, and championships won in both high school football and girl’s basketball. As far as we know, Buck’s football career ended when he walked off the field at Big Walnut Tech for the last time. Bull has an excuse to have collected a bunch of junk from his decades-long career in sports. What’s Buck’s excuse?

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Tagged as Buck, Buck Bedlow, football, Linda, Linda Bushka, sport, sports, uninteresting stupid anecdotes, useless old junk, Westview H.S., Westview High School, WHS Sports Hall Of Fame

by billytheskink | January 18, 2020 · 11:53 pm

Dreck on the beach

I hope against all hope that today’s strip marks the end of this chapter of Les Goes To Hollywood And Gets All Pissy- Part II, particularly for the sake of our own spacemanspiff, who has to write up the next two weeks of strips. Trying to come up with words to describe this horror is not a task I would wish on my worst enemy… or even Tom Batiuk.

On the emptiest beach in California, Masone engages in some criminal activity that doubles as the dumbest cult ritual this side of the Lisa’s Legacy Run. Not one aspect of this stupid movie project has moved forward since October despite the fact that four weeks worth of strips have been expended covering the inactivity.

Not even the prospect of s’mores improves things, which is terribly sad.

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Tagged as Cayla, Cindy, cult activity, endless tedium, Fire, first world problems, hatchet face, Hollywood, Les, Les being a giant smug douche, Les. Cayla, Lisa's Story, Los Angeles, Mason, Mason Jarr, Mason Jarre, Mason's Nose, movies, Now Cindy, sheer idiocy, smirk, smug inept bearded jerks, things that make you seriously regret ever starting to read FW in the first place, uninteresting stupid anecdotes, waiting for things not worth waiting for, weird noses

by billytheskink | January 17, 2020 · 10:30 pm

When Time Stands Still

Is this today’s strip or the October 26 strip?! No, it is today’s… and it leaves us in the exact same place we were in October. THE. EXACT. SAME. PLACE.

Masone promises a “shopping agreement”, explains that he has to sell Lisa’s Story to some powers-that-be, assures him of his good intentions and that he is making the right decision by letting Masone pursue this stupid movie thing, Les prepares to wait for the shopping agreement in a snit… scene. It’s the exact same thing we got in October with two exceptions:

One, this week of Masone-wants-to-make-a-Lisa’s-Story-movie strips was preceded by a week of Les and Cayla arguing about whether or not they should fly to California to discuss with Masone the fact that he wants to make a Lisa’s Story movie. We wasted this week on repeating the October scenario PLUS the week of Les and Cayla debating whether to take the stupid trip… the trip that could have been resolved with a 15-minute telephone call!!!

Two, this week ends with the unfortunate promise of future strips in which Les takes Masone around New York for some unbearable Lisa reminiscence, undoubtedly griping all the way.

Misery. Sheer misery.

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Tagged as Ann Apple, Cayla, Cindy, Fire, Hollywood, insufferability, jerkwads, lawyers, Les, Les. Cayla, Lisa, Lisa's Story, Los Angeles, lost cause, Mason, Mason Jarr, Mason Jarre, Mason's Nose, movies, New York, Now Cindy, sheer idiocy, smug inept bearded jerks, steadily losing the will to live, that stupid screenplay, uninteresting stupid anecdotes, vertical strip

by billytheskink | January 9, 2020 · 10:30 pm

More Les? Probably. sigh-day, January 10

Today’s strip was not available for preview, but it is making me bored nevertheless.

Typically, I dive into the archives when a strip is not available for preview but I’m so bored by this story arc that… Yeah, OK, I’ll still do it. Someone has to make an effort when it comes to this strip.

Let’s see what strip celebrates it’s sweet 16 today. Here’s Funky Winkerbean from January 10, 2004:
FW1-10-04

Facing declining revenues, DSH glumly threatens to close Komix Korner (then located across the street from Montoni’s above the Jade Dragon Chinese restaurant). Mopey Pete, who worked in the store at the time, is excited about clocking out early (he was shirking even back then). Crazy get’s really sad. Les shows up for the above ONE strip and takes everything from maudlin to insufferable. This may be the most insufferable a comic book-focused FW strip has ever been… and that is saying something!

Of course, we know that Komix Korner survives. In fact, the very next week Tony agrees to rent the then-unused Montoni’s basement to DSH for the amazing price of “whenever you can pay me”. Hilariously, he only does this after Pete applies to work at Montoni’s, apparently figuring that giving Komix Korner the Montoni’s basement for FREE handily beats the prospect of hiring PETE (and he’s a guy who hired Durwood on two separate occasions).

32 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Tagged as boredom personified, Cayla, disgust, Les, Les being a giant smug douche, Les. Cayla, non-pizza foodstuffs, sheer idiocy, sickening dread, tags you never thought you'd use, Teachers who hated Les, tiny lassos, uninteresting stupid anecdotes, Westview H.S., Westview High School

Tag Archives: uninteresting stupid anecdotes

Eye am about out of eye puns

¡Eye Caramba!

Waitersday, July 22

EvesdroPete

Haika not believe this

De Jock Vu

Habakbuck

Dreck on the beach

When Time Stands Still

More Les? Probably. sigh-day, January 10

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