Tag Archives: silhouette

Break BOTH Legs. And the Neck.

Link to today’s childish whim.

“Okay, so like there’s this guy, Les Moore, who’s like totally awesome and cool, but he’s like real sensitive and stuff, and he wrote a book that, like, didn’t have any explosions in it but was still like the best book ever, and everyone thought it was great.  And a bunch of people wanted to make a movie of it, but they didn’t do it right and Les got sad and stopped them.  But then this good guy named Mason, he was a super cool actor and stuff, and he wanted to make the movie, and Les was like, I don’t like this.  But Mason said he’d make sure it was, like, all done the way Les wanted, and he would let Les double make sure so it was all fine, but Les was like, it’s a perfect book, a movie won’t be good at all.   But they let Mason try it, and he made sure it was all just like Les said it should be, and Les would be there the whole time so he could make sure it was done right and there wouldn’t be any mistakes ever.  And everyone like applauded–all the moms, and the dads, the grandpas and mas, all the rotten older brothers and all of the babies and pets, too.”

I’ve said on a number of occasions that this strip is childish.  Well, it’s more than that.  It’s childish in the extreme, but it is plowing headfirst into infantile territory.

Yesterday, Charles said this (excerpted)

[Batiuk is] so desperate for affirmation, for praise, that he devotes strip after strip pleading with his audience to accept his assessment of his own genius.

I agree completely.  Which is why Batiuk has given us panel three, here–it’s an attempt at deflection.  Oh, gee, I’m so humble and I’m really not worthy of all this attention.  I’m…I’m…I’m flawed just like a regular human.  It rings just as falsely now as it did years ago, when Les asked the CME staff for a “cup of hemlock.”

Would that they had given it to him.   What might have been.

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High Loss Finish

Link to today’s strip.

Poor, poor Bull.  Despite being a generally decent guy over the last fifteen years of his life, he will never catch a break from Tom Batiuk.   Just thinking of all the things he did to help Les makes me believe Tom Batiuk is a deeply ill man who needs a good solid look in the mirror.  Not that he doesn’t look, often and at length; he should just try a different angle.  Bull also gave his students an encouragement to play, and the parents an opportunity to cheer; what did Les do for anyone other than himself?  Nothing.  Absolutely nothing.

All the Hollywood work and comic book careers were given out by other people–Cindy in the case of the former, Chester in the case of the latter.  Heck, even DHS John gave Harry a job when he was suddenly unemployed.

Les?  “I screwed up.”  “Yes, you did.”

As for Bull’s viewing habits, well, I think if I were a coach, I’d watch losing games over and over.  It’s the best way to see what mistakes were made and how to correct them.  But for Batiuk, no, this was just Bull wallowing in masochism and self-pity, two things no Westview inhabitant should be without.

I actually do own a VCR (it’s one of those DVD-VCR combo things), but I haven’t even plugged it in in years.   And I can’t remember the last time I bought a tape (certainly not in this century.)  Let’s also not forget that Funky Winkerbean is supposed to be set ten years in the future (your rules, Batiuk, not mine).  This is like keeping important files on a floppy disk–and a 5.25 disk at that.

All that being said, it’s not impossible for someone to have a huge collection of VHS tapes…just less and less likely as time goes on.

Kind of like this strip.

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The Buck Stops There

Link to today’s thing.

Hello, folks; BChasm back in the Box.  Shout-out to Comic Book Harriet, who as always did a stellar job of entertaining and educating us…things l’Auteur Glorieux feels are now beneath him.  Well done, especially with such poor material to work with.

Speaking of being back, guess who has returned?  That’s right, it’s nobody’s favorite smirker, Buck Somethingorother.   You remember, the guy who couldn’t resist smirking wryly to both Linda and Bull while reminding them about the latter’s impending death.  And speaking of impending death, Buck is getting his!   “I’m afraid that the news isn’t that good, Buck” says Doctor Flattop,  “You’re a character in Funky Winkerbean.”  Now, I may be stupid, and this strip may be making me more so, but I thought Buck played football.  Isn’t “layup” a basketball term?  Shouldn’t he say, “You always gotta throw the penalty flag, don’t you?”  I guess once you’re a sporto, you’re required by cosmic law to make only sports-related metaphors, even if they aren’t your sports.

I’d really like to know what’s going on with Doctor Flattop’s head.  In panel two, it looks like there’s a second head emerging from the back of his skull.  Is it Voldemort?  Because that could be an interesting development.

Oh, I’ve just killed it.  I used the forbidden word, “interesting.”

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Go Nuts.

Link to today’s strip

Today’s gonna be a short post, since I’m fighting the evil forces of My Grain valley.

Plenty of humor to wring from this weird weird situation.

Even a blind squirrel can find a nut once in a while.

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Binge and Bungle

It must have been a combination of the dramatic lighting plus Holly’s come-hither look: “How about ‘ Mozart in the Jungle‘” sounded to me like some code word for sexytime! I didn’t know it was a series on Amazon. One that I guess TB enjoys watching, perhaps at home in the evening with the missus. Which I suppose is how he was inspired to come up with today’s strip. After a three week story arc set in Atomik Komix Cloud Cuckoo Land, Batty’s finally back to writing what he knows. And here at SoSF, we binge-read and write about Funky Winkerbean, and your guide for the next fortnight will be comicbookharriet!

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Banned Room Revolution.

Today’s strip, when it drops.

Well, it’s been a real teeter-totter of a shift. One week of super-depressing Lesplotation misery porn, and another week of weightless recycled turkey gags. But you how the old song goes: When you’re up, you’re up. And when you’re down, you’re down. And when you’re only halfway up, it’s Sunday and the strip isn’t available for preview.

Our glorious leader TFHackett, is assuming his place on the podium tomorrow. Please treat him with the respect due a founding father of our blogiverse. He’s chopped down Lisa trees, and crossed the mighty Cuyahoga, and seen our troops through the frigid winters of Ohio. He stood up to the rotten king who tried to silence our freedoms through C&D, and brought us to this promised land.

Happy Thanksgiving!

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Facing the Music.

Link to today’s strip

Went on a weird journey for today’s post. At first I was just going to point out bad art. Like Dinkle touching his face with a tiny little prop hand. Then it occurred to me that Dinkle has touched his face in shocked contemplation no less than three times this week, which is gross and not something you want to be doing during cold and flu season.

But I stopped when I noticed that Becky mentioned practicing music for the Christmas Concert…because Westview doesn’t have a Christmas Concert. They have a Holiday Concert, so as to not offend those who do not celebrate the birth of our Lord and Savior, and/or a night where the undead soul of a fourth century Turkish bishop breaks into people’s homes. I had vague recollections of an entire Holiday Concert arc dealing with Principal Nate becoming a somehow more exaggerated prototype of South Park’s PC Principal. So I dug into the archives, and sure enough there was an arc from December 7th through the 13th in 2015.

My trip took me farther back, because I decided to review some of the tired old Band Turkey gags, and I discovered that Dinkle himself assisted Becky in selling something other than turkeys back in 2014.

Then I looked up, and right there, November 2014, I found the arc where Bull had been offered a college coaching position, only to have it snatched away from him when the college’s first choice called back. And I was stunned to see that, five years ago, Batiuk thought to include a strip where Bull and Linda include their children in life decisions. Probably the last time Jinx has spoken in strip.

Reading that arc again, after everything, had me genuinely sad. And also kind of grossed out. Because Batiuk wrote Linda as incredibly horny back then.

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