Tag Archives: jogging

Un-A-Track-Tive

Link to today’s strip

Look at that first panel, it just screams “I have nothing here”. And whaddya know…he doesn’t. Unless you consider today’s bit of woeful wordplay to be “something”, which I do not. Still though, after two weeks of marching band gags I’m willing to accept this one even in spite of Dick Facey’s loathsome presence. What a dick.

And that’s it for me, fellow snarkers…stay tuned for the Funk-tastic snark stylings of billytheskink, who hopefully manages to avoid the onslaught of band gags that haunted me this time around!

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Not Your Stepping Stone

It looks like we get one of this strip’s patented jogging gags in today’s strip. Looks, however, can be decieving.

No, I would not classify today’s gag as a jogging gag. It is haplessness gag, a staple of Act I reconfigured to fit the age of the strip’s main characters. Back in Act I it was Les and Dinkle’s pupils who were most often the butt of such jokes. Now in Act III, Funky has assumed Les’ former role, his pitiful sole can’t keep from stumbling over the same little rock over-and-over as he tries and fails to get some much-needed exercise. Les has kind of assumed Dinkle’s role, lording his perfection over the morons surrounding him. Act I, however, was sometimes self-aware about how irritating Dinkle’s behavior was. Can we say the same about Act III?

It also looks like Les, who gave Durwood “the bum’s rush” yesterday so he could get to work on his new/old Lisa project, is procrastinating again. This look is not deceiving.

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Funky Winkerbean: The Anchor, Man

(ZZZZZZZZZZ)

All that time he spent defusing bombs and dodging death over in Afghanistan didn’t do a whole lot for Cory’s cognitive thinking abilities, as he appears to be considering including Funky in some sort of relay race deal, which is a bit like entering an obese donkey in the Kentucky Derby. I liked old Cory better, at least he wasn’t just another predictable Pollyanna do-gooder with a dumb grin on his face 100% of the time. Now though…ugh. If the guy was any more bland he’d be completely invisible.

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*Puff* The Tragic Fat Man

Click Here If You Dare

Poor, poor Funky. A decade of steady exercise and he’s more decrepit than ever. Whiner too. One wonders why he keeps it up given how it produces no results whatsoever, but in the Funkyverse logic is kind of…uh…”fluid” like that. Like for example how no one has viciously murdered Les yet despite having numerous opportunities to do so. Very unrealistic. Just visit New Jersey and start gallivanting around with that smirk and that headband and see how far you get. He’d be severely beaten ten times before he hit the pavement.

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Merry Les Mess

It Can Indeed Get Worse

Sigh. My most dreaded SoSF hosting scenario…a Les & Funky jogging arc. But wait! Two mysterious strangers approach Les and Funky, asking if they can run with them and…oh. Oh, it’s just Cory (yawn) and Rocky (zzzzz). Given that the new and improved Corporal Cory is about as interesting and entertaining as watching a compost heap molder, I’m not expecting much in the way of long-term plot development here or anything. Har.

Not only does he once again maddeningly start another new arc with like fifty other ones still dangling there, he has the f*cking temerity to put Les in that (sorry, no offense but there’s no other proper way to put it) fruity lavender-ish pink headband of his, which only increases my desire to use some sort of special gun to launch a huge railroad spike through his forehead. Wow is that enraging or what? It’s like he’s taunting me, deliberately looking for ways to annoy me even more, which should not be possible according to all existing scientific models.

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Krack-a-toe-r

Looks like another antique joke in today’s strip.

I actually don’t dislike the hacky old jokes that TB so often leans on, but they never EVER land in this strip because they are delivered in an environment completely and totally absent of joy. It’s like interrupting the end of Old Yeller with Hee Haw cornfield shtick and then using scenes from Schindler’s list for reaction shots.

That elderly relative we all have who asks “if it’s nacho cheese then whose is it?” doesn’t do so in between discussing their various medical ailments and how their life insurance policy will only pay for a fraction of their funeral. If your elderly relative does do this, then I am sorry that you are related to Tom Batiuk.

The often imitated but never duplicated beckoningchasm returns to the helm tomorrow. Thanks for putting up with me for the past couple weeks.

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He’s Just Being Nordic

I actually took a break from New Year’s revelry to see if today’s strip had posted (sad, yes, I know). On my iPhone, I could only see the first panel…

…and immediately let out a groan because I immediately knew the punchline would be something “Thor”. I do like how Funky appears to be sashaying in panel 1 though.

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