Tag Archives: jerkwads

Dim-agination

Devoid of context, today’s strip is aimless and boring. With context, though, it’s… ummmm… I don’t really know. What is the context of this strip anyways?

We have no idea how this exchange began, unless it began like this, which means “Batton Thomas” just started spouting off trivial comic book history once Bernie and Thatsnought where within earshot. Is this what TB does at book signings and conventions?

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What the Starbuck?!

If today’s strip is any indication, comic books make your nose grow.

Also, this angry fellow who may be Stinky Peterson or perhaps Flash’s long-lost grandson apparently hasn’t read TB’s blog series Batom Comics – The Untold History, which affirms Flash Freeman as the creator of Starbuck Jones in name and concept. Not that I blame him, of course, I didn’t even read it…

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Slackerday, June 30

Today’s strip was not available preview, because Comics Kingdom’s strip uploading person has been taking cues from Pete and Durwood and put their duties off until the very last minute.

These two have been procrastinating for decades now. Here’s a scene from back in high school where Durwood has shirked his duties at the school paper in order to have kissy time time with Jessica. Pete, Sophomoric Sightings‘ alleged writer (and now artist) tries to lollygag by claiming he forgot how to write until Chien lights a fire under his rear end.

Funky Winkerbean-2006.09

Chester ought to look into hiring Chien. I’ll bet there would be fewer offsite coffeshop breaks if he did.

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A Math-etic Loser

Today’s strip poses the question: Is Durwood a talented artist who truly struggles with math, a gigantic tool, or some combination of the previous two things?

His MBA degree, depicted “artistic” skill, and his development of the Montoni’s app suggest the second of the three options.

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Quiz Bowel

It is comics like today’s strip that remind me how good I have it. I’m not taking high school English from Les Moore. I never had to take high school English from Les Moore. It is as if he is intentionally trying to be the opposite of the teacher that successful people so often cite as the inspiration that got them to make something of their life. What a miserable experience in every single way this strip is.

Les’ senior students did poorly on their quiz last Monday and now his freshman students have done poorly on theirs… I see a common denominator here. I bet these students would too if Westview High had a math teacher.

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Not Your Stepping Stone

It looks like we get one of this strip’s patented jogging gags in today’s strip. Looks, however, can be decieving.

No, I would not classify today’s gag as a jogging gag. It is haplessness gag, a staple of Act I reconfigured to fit the age of the strip’s main characters. Back in Act I it was Les and Dinkle’s pupils who were most often the butt of such jokes. Now in Act III, Funky has assumed Les’ former role, his pitiful sole can’t keep from stumbling over the same little rock over-and-over as he tries and fails to get some much-needed exercise. Les has kind of assumed Dinkle’s role, lording his perfection over the morons surrounding him. Act I, however, was sometimes self-aware about how irritating Dinkle’s behavior was. Can we say the same about Act III?

It also looks like Les, who gave Durwood “the bum’s rush” yesterday so he could get to work on his new/old Lisa project, is procrastinating again. This look is not deceiving.

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Friday, September 30

Alas, today’s strip was not available for preview, so I’ve once again fired up the WABAC Machine and gone back 30 years. Here’s what was happening on September 30, 1986:

A band plot, really? It seems like every time I fish an old FW strip out of the archives it is in the middle of yet another story arc about Dinkle’s megalomania…

In this installment, the Westview High School Marching Band is performing at halftime during a Monday Night Football game in Cincinnati. In order to force ABC to televise the performance, Dinkle sabotages the broadcast. He cuts the ABC network feed so that highlights of the weekend games can’t be shown, kidnaps a coach so that there will be no one to interview, and has the president of the Band booster club hijack the Goodyear blimp to make sure that the aerial cameras stay trained on the band. The only fallout from these felonious acts? The booster club president is jailed and the band members have to sell extra candy to bail him out.

Still more realistically portrayed than this whole Starbuck Jones movie thing.

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