I like this doctor. “Yeah, he’ll just have to wear this thing for a couple of nights, I don’t know how many exactly, whenever he feels like taking it off, whatever. Oh, and he only needs to wear it at night, he can take it off during the way, who cares.”.
Funky sure has had some wild mood swings this week. The first two panels he looks like he’s lost the will to live, then in the third he’s popping up and yelling out a pirate impersonation.
Tag Archives: doctors
Cataractive
Filed under Son of Stuck Funky
Tagged as doctors, Funky, Holly, hospital, medical professionals, oddly muted squiggly lines, pirate, Star Trek, surgical mask
Eye am about out of eye puns
And eye (ugh) *s-eye* (no no no) *sigh* (that’s better) sorry… I am about out of patience with this anti-majestic glacier of a story line. Every single thing in today’s strip happened in yesterday’s strip as well. I’m not sure even Garfield or Family Circus recycle at this level… I don’t know if this will help, but I have cut the 62 words in these last two strips down to 20 in an attempt to make this never-ending story stronger and more concise.
Dr. Droopy: Cataract surgery is pretty common nowadays. It is quite safe and not especially complicated. Funky: I'm worried! WORRIED, I TELLS YA!
Filed under Son of Stuck Funky
Tagged as arcs that go on too long, arcs where nothing happens, awful dialog, Bad medical news, boredom personified, bug-eyes, comma eyes, crappy ploddinng stories that never get anywhere, doctor guy, doctors, Droopy, dull stories, four eyes, Funky, Funky Winkerbean, glib doctors, hatchet face, manila folder, medical professionals, Now Funky, oddly muted squiggly lines, one of those arcs that just never seems to end, recycled gags, sad-sackery, squiggly eyebrows, squiggly lines, squiggly lines used to denote texture, stupid, things that make you seriously regret ever starting to read FW in the first place, tiny hands, uninteresting stupid anecdotes, unnatural hand gestures, unneccessarily long arcs, very long arcs, weird noses
Eye-ku
No need to induce To put folks in a coma Just use today's strip
Dramatic Funky Or is he? Lest we forget His time warp coma
Here's a third haiku It is here to fill up space Like this story arc
Filed under Son of Stuck Funky
Tagged as Anon-O-Character, arcs that go on too long, arcs where nothing happens, Bad medical news, boredom personified, comma eyes, crappy ploddinng stories that never get anywhere, doctor guy, doctors, Droopy, dull stories, endless tedium, four eyes, Funky, Funky Winkerbean, glib doctors, manila folder, medical professionals, mustache, Now Funky, one of those arcs that just never seems to end, things that never end, unnatural hand gestures, unneccessarily long arcs, very long arcs, weak sarcasm
Eye vey iz mir!
Oh, so we’re back to the jokez! in today’s strip. If we’ve learned anything in the last week and a half, it is that Dr. Droopy and Funky both are willing to dish out this cornpone but neither is willing to take it (in fact, I would argue that this is quite literally the only thing we have learned in the last week and a half).
Well, as they say, “write what you know”… Certainly no one can claim that TB doesn’t know hypocrisy.
Filed under Son of Stuck Funky
Tagged as arcs that go on too long, arcs where nothing happens, Bad medical news, comma eyes, complaining, Complete Worthless Ass, crappy ploddinng stories that never get anywhere, doctor guy, doctors, Droopy, dull stories, dumb clothing jokes, four eyes, Funky, Funky Winkerbean, gags that go on way too long, glib doctors, hypocrisy, manila folder, medical professionals, Now Funky, Old dying people, old gags from the 1970's, one of those arcs that just never seems to end, sarcasm, Sarcastic Old Bastard, sheer idiocy, smirk, smirks, smirks exchanged, stupid, surliness, the inevitable ravages of age, the ravages of age, tiny hands, unneccessarily long arcs, very long arcs, very old gags, weak sarcasm
¡Eye Caramba!
I apologize that the post title significantly oversells the drab discharge that is today’s strip. Funky has cataracts, just like many people over age 65. Cataracts make it hard to see clearly, as Dr. Droopy so helpfully informs us. Will Funky and Dr. Droopy decide what to do about these cataracts by Saturday? If you care about the answer to that question, please seek help.
Filed under Son of Stuck Funky
Tagged as "jokes" that aren't really jokes at all, arcs that go on too long, arcs where nothing happens, boredom personified, comma eyes, complete lack of humor, Complete Worthless Ass, crappy ploddinng stories that never get anywhere, doctor guy, doctors, Droopy, dull stories, four eyes, glib doctors, Old dying people, one of those arcs that just never seems to end, sad-sackery, sheer idiocy, stupid, the inevitable ravages of age, the ravages of age, uninteresting stupid anecdotes, unneccessarily long arcs, very long arcs
Eye Cannot Believe It
If today’s post title didn’t tip you off already, I will warn you here and now that we are NOT done with Funky’s visit to the eye doctor in today’s strip. You don’t need to read it. You don’t want to read it. As much as I generally hope to see lots of comments on this site, I won’t be remotely offended if there isn’t a single comment posted today.
What is there even to say? That this whole strip could have been avoided had Funky just answered the doctor’s question in last Friday’s strip? There, I said it. Tune in tomorrow for more warnings, probably.
Filed under Son of Stuck Funky
Tagged as anon-o-nurses, arcs that go on too long, arcs where nothing happens, boredom personified, comma eyes, complaining, complete lack of humor, Complete Worthless Ass, crappy ploddinng stories that never get anywhere, doctor guy, doctors, Droopy, dull stories, four eyes, Funky, Funky Winkerbean, glib doctors, idiocy, incessant complaining, Now Funky, Nurse Greenhair, one of those arcs that just never seems to end, really dumb questions, scrunchie, sheer idiocy, stupid, unneccessarily long arcs, very long arcs, waiting for things not worth waiting for
Putting the “die” in dilate
Let us all sincerely hope that today’s strip is the end of “Funky terrorizes the optometrist’s office with his shmuckery.” Oh please please please! I ran out of things to say about it on Tuesday and since then I’ve been filling space with a Droopy photoshop done in Microsoft Paint, obscure 90s punk rock references, and my own experiences at the ophthalmologist. Today, I very nearly wrote 3-4 sentences in this post about what my cat was doing right now, but I’ve taken up too much of you all’s valuable time already. Well, at least I finally thought of something to say about this strip…
Speaking of drops, I’m thinking this country’s newspapers should do just that to a couple of comic strips.
Filed under Son of Stuck Funky
Tagged as Anon-O-Character, Anon-O-Characters, anon-o-nurses, arcs that go on too long, assorted weirdos, complaining, complete lack of humor, Complete Worthless Ass, curmudgeonly oldsters, doctors, four eyes, Funky, Funky Cayla, Funky Winkerbean, inexplicably long intervals between events, insufferability, insufferable assholes, insulting the reader's intelligence, jerkwads, Nurse Greenhair, oddly muted squiggly lines, Old dying people, scrunchie, squiggly lines, squiggly lines used to denote texture, stupid, the inevitable ravages of age, the ravages of age, things that take an unnecessarily long time, tiny hands, token black character, unneccessarily long arcs, very long arcs
No Contest
No, there is no respite from this week’s misery in today’s strip. Yep, Funky continues to make life miserable for the very medical professionals whose job it is to make his life suck a little less… medical professionals who are properly doing their job, I might add. This is the kind of shtick Les pulled back in Act I when we weren’t supposed to like him, thus further cementing Funky’s status in TB’s mind as Act III’s version of Act I Les, the dim and unlikable sap who all but deserves the awful life he leads. Of course, this is also the kind of shtick Les continues to pull, to be honest, but now he’s written as if we’re supposed to like him.
This line question is weird, though. I’ve been going to the ophthalmologist since I was a 10 year old who refused, to my mother’s certain exasperation, to wear any glasses that weren’t neon lime green and I’ve never once been asked which line is clearer. My ophthalmologist will regularly switch between lenses of different (high, in my case) powers and ask me which lens offered me a clearer view of the lines on a backlit chart, but I’ve never had to choose between lines. I’m not even sure how lines could be different clarities. Nevertheless, if my eye doctor did ask me to pick which line of two was clearer, I would answer “one” or “two”… y’know, like a human being who isn’t a miserable putz.
Filed under Son of Stuck Funky
Tagged as anon-o-nurses, awful dialog, Complete Worthless Ass, doctor guy, doctors, Droopy, four eyes, Funky, Funky Winkerbean, insufferability, insufferable assholes, it's called "writing", jerkwads, Now Funky, Nurse Greenhair, Old dying people, really dumb questions, stupid, the inevitable ravages of age, the ravages of age
Futz Said Funky
Just two strips ago, Funky was being a pill to the office’s receptionist for a joke he completely walked into… and yet here he is in today’s strip indignant that Dr. Droopy won’t sanction his buffoonery. Stay in your lane, Funky. Les is supposed to be the guy who gets huffy when other people make jokes but then expects everyone to laugh at his pathetic stabs at humor.
I was going to suggest that Dr. Droopy here was being presumptuous here bringing up Captain Kirk, not that it would make Funky any less insufferable. I thought perhaps Funky was referencing the legend of Admiral David Farragut or perhaps he is actually a big fan of the band Pain, regionally-popular purveyors of late-90s pop punk (from whom I pilfered, purloined, and repurposed today’s post-title). But nope… a brief search of the SOSF archives reveals that, in a rare bit of Batiukverse continuity, Dr. Droopy is correctly referencing when Funky previously pulled this miserable excuse for a joke back in August 2019.
Callback or not, Funky ought to be tossed out of the doctor’s office window.
Filed under Son of Stuck Funky
Tagged as "jokes" that aren't really jokes at all, comma eyes, doctor guy, doctors, Droopy, four eyes, Funky, Funky Winkerbean, hatchet face, indignancy, it's called "writing", Now Funky, old gags from the 1970's, really dumb questions, sarcasm, Sarcastic Old Bastard, sheer idiocy, Star Trek, stupid, the inevitable ravages of age, the ravages of age, unwarranted wry sarcasm, weak sarcasm
DVR You Serious?
ComCast your eyes away from today’s strip if you don’t want the unvarnished TRUTH! If this strip doesn’t make you believe in the conspiracy between big cable and America’s ophthalmologists, then I don’t know what will. The doctor all but admits it!
This doctor, though, I feel like I’ve seen him before…
Can’t quite put my finger on where, but I’ve definitely seen him before.
Filed under Son of Stuck Funky
Tagged as anon-o-nurses, boredom personified, comma eyes, curmudgeonly oldsters, doctor guy, doctors, Droopy, four eyes, framed degrees, Funky, Funky Winkerbean, Funkys, glib doctors, hatchet face, idiocy, Now Funky, Nurse Greenhair, obsolete video technologies, Old dying people, sheer idiocy, small clocks, squiggly eyebrows, stupid, technology, the inevitable ravages of age, the ravages of age