Cataractive

I like this doctor. “Yeah, he’ll just have to wear this thing for a couple of nights, I don’t know how many exactly, whenever he feels like taking it off, whatever. Oh, and he only needs to wear it at night, he can take it off during the way, who cares.”.
Funky sure has had some wild mood swings this week. The first two panels he looks like he’s lost the will to live, then in the third he’s popping up and yelling out a pirate impersonation.

26 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

26 responses to “Cataractive

  1. For something that was clearly an important, memorable event in Batiuk’s life, he sure doesn’t seem capable of imparting that interest to anyone else.

    Is this his example of “I’ll throw in a ‘funny’ strip, just to show I’m not all dour and stuff”?

    • Banana Jr. 6000

      Yeah, the story is just going to skip the actual surgery. Funky was never in any danger. He didn’t have to overcome his fear. The question about him not being ready for surgery didn’t need to be resolved. None of that is important. On to next week’s arc: “Funky recovers from eye surgery.”

      • In which we get five days of Funky wondering, “Will I ever recover?” Then a Saturday strip in which he explains that he has, indeed, recovered. Then a comic book cover featuring Cyclops.

  2. Epicus Doomus

    Give it up for spacemanspiff85 with the “cat”-related post titles! Out-f*cking-standing! It’s actually too bad that Funky will recover, as a one-eyed character could be exactly what FW needs most. The last major FW medical problem was Bull’s CTE, which you couldn’t actually see, which IMO made it way less funny. I mean don’t get me wrong, his tantrums were amusing at all, but the jokes didn’t write themselves like with Becky or Lisa.

  3. William Thompson

    The doctor says “night” because the very concept of “day” has vanished from the dark, morbid Funkyverse.

  4. billytheskink

    Dr. Droopy realizes that pirate captains also say things like “full speed ahead“, right?

  5. ComicBookHarriet

    Cataract surgery went okay, but we’re really impressed by the results of the transorbital lobotomy.

  6. Banana Jr. 6000

    Whenever a Funky Winkerbean character has an injury, the art draws as much attention to it as possible. Lisa’s cancer treatments, Bull’s death helmet, Becky’s missing arm sleeve, and now Funky’s missing eye. Funky doesn’t get a black eyepatch with a head strap, even though it works much better with the pirate joke, and is more realistic. No, Funky looks they used whatever they found in the “miscellaneous bandages” drawer. We get a complete drawing of it in all three panels, but resolution to any of the plotlines. Make of that what you will.

  7. J.J. O'Malley

    Meh…Charles Schulz did the whole eyepatch/pirate thing better 56 years ago: https://twitter.com/peanutsspecials/status/910639139543855104

  8. Gerard Plourde

    And let’s not overlook TomBa’s use of tape to hold the gauze eyepatch on. “Sloppy masking tape – It’s not just for signs anymore!” (I know that that’s standard practice, but I couldn’t resist.)

    • Epicus Doomus

      Good call. A haphazardly-taped eye, it’s definitely consistent. Westviewians just have a genetic predisposition toward struggling with tape of any kind.

  9. Val Voleen

    “And you’re no Dr. Spock!”

    “It’s MISTER Spock, you stupid piece of shit!”

    “Get your hands off my husband! Let ME show how to properly wring his neck.”

  10. Funny that during this thing, there haven’t been multiple shout-outs to some National Eyesight Awareness Council or something like that. I guess he contacted them and they said “We don’t give out awards.”

    • Perfect Tommy

      Tragically, the 5K run supporting eyesight awareness month was cut short when the entrants all injured themselves tripping over the Lisa bench due to lack of depth perception.

  11. sgtsaunders

    Well Batttic got the pirate thing right. Lookit. I live near a college that has a pirate mascot, and their bumper stickers and other shit says “Arrrggh”, like it’s some Charlie Brown jazz. It’s “Arrr”. Battic is right about that, but this arc still sucks out loud.

  12. Mr. A

    Did they only perform surgery on one of Funky’s eyes? That was never indicated at any point. If they performed surgery on both eyes, then why does he only need the eyepatch on one side? Did Funky have complications in one eye but not the other? If so, why did the doc claim that the surgery went “very well”?

    I mean, I’m not saying this outcome is completely implausible, but I’d prefer it if the strip acknowledged it somehow, instead of leaving me to make up explanations for myself.

    • Only a guess, but I assume they would do one eye, allow the patient to recover, then do the other eye. I mean, otherwise the patient has both eyes bandaged and is completely dependent on someone else for everything.

      • Mr. A

        That makes sense. Hmm…maybe Batiuk is saving that joke for tomorrow…

        Funky: [with a mixture of ruefulness and relief] Well, I guess that wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be…but I’m glad it’s all over.

        Doctor: Er…Mr. Winkerbean, we only did one of your eyes today. We’re doing your other eye next week.

        Funky: [suddenly agitated] You mean I have to do this again?!

  13. Margaret

    As far as I know, they never do cataract surgery on both eyes at the same time, because then you’d be completely blind for a day or two while you need to keep the eyes covered. It’s always one at a time. Everyone I know who’s had the surgery on both eyes went in twice for it. (Same with knee or hip replacements. The doctors strongly discourage getting them both done at once.)

  14. Doghouse Reilly (Minneapolis)

    If Funky is a pirate does that make Holly a lusty wench? I didn’t think so.

    This was deemed unacceptable at Komix Kingdom.

  15. Banana Jr. 6000

    From today’s “Flash Friday” entry in the Funkyblog:

    [This comic book cover is] just a bit deceptive because… there’s no way [Golden Age Green Lantern] would be flying as shown.

    YOU. ARE. SEVENTY-THREE. YEARS. OLD.

    • ComicBookHarriet

      He’s talking about Alan Scott?
      Makes me miss the old Geoff Johns JSA, that man knew how to write about the elderly.