Tag Archives: Cindy

Cinema Sins of the Father

SosfdavidO here, with the biggest shovel I could find because even for Tombat’s writing, today’s strip reeks of absolute bullshit.

So what age is Mason now? I’m going to be kind.. KIND, mind you, and peg him at 32. He’s probably more like 35 but for the sake of argument, he’s 32.

Now it’s time for some simple math, courtesy of Wikipedia.

List of Serial Movies by Decade

Perusing the list, one can see that the last gasp of serialized movies happened the mid-50s and the end of the space soap operas like Starbucks Jones ended around 1953, when all of America collectively got a cowboy fetish.

So if Cliff was 32 in say, 1952, that would mean he was born in 1920. NINETEEN F***ing TWENTY. That would make him just shy of 98 years old. Does the grey haired dude in panel 2 look 98? Or even 78!?

Maybe it’s the whole thing is CG and Cliff just had to croak out a few lines but even looking at him strolling around the streets without as much as a walker is some Grade A Bullshit Tommy is slinging there.

Maybe we can pretend the time jumps that hit Westview every couple of decades work in reverse wherever the hell Cliff Anger came from. Was that New York?

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Sizzle Lean

SosfdavidO here, fresh off my rant from yesterday about how unlikely it is that Darrin, who had only a passing interest in art in high school, is suddenly Hollywood’s Golden Boy when it comes to story-boarding.

Deep breath…

My disbelief extends well into today’s strip, where with only a off-hand passing mention we’re supposed to believe Cindy is hard at work on a documentary movie about the original Starbucks Jones actor.

Sure, it’s been mentioned she was working on it before, but land sakes, this is a major life event for Cindy and she seems to devote 2 hours a year to it at most. Will this movie ever see the light of day? Just how many damned movie projects are getting juggled in this dopey strip now, anyway? I know there was a Lisa movie that got canned, then a John Darling movie, now the Cliff Anger movie and Starbucks sequels… like, whoa, Tombat went from hating Hollywood to it’s biggest fan. What gives? Probably the rise of super hero movies being every other damned movie at this point.

Anyhow, back to this stroll along Exposition Drive…

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Sandsational

Not much to see in today’s strip other than Mason’s attempt at being punny. Have a safe 4th everyone!

today’s strip

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Doofy Stars

A new week, a new arc! SosfdavidO here, and whoa, who is Mason Jarr out with in today’s strip!? Cindy better not catch him with this much younger curvy, attractive blonde woman or she’s going to blow a fuse!

Oh, wait, that’s right. This woman walking with Mason it none other than “Eternally 30” Cindy Summers, who is now, thanks to the magic of Tombat’s airbrush, now basically half Funky’s age.

 cindy_young

I’m sucking out your lifeforce as you stand there…

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Fruit of the Doom

Link to today’s strip.

I rate today’s episode two “Meh”s.   It’s a good example of “Batiuking it.”  It’s not terrible enough to be irksome, nor is it insensitive enough to provoke anger.  It’s like something the dog left on the kitchen floor–he didn’t really mean to do it, it just happened by accidental instinct.  Though at least the dog has enough self-awareness to look guilty about what he produced.  Luckily, I have some paper towels.

Nice freeze-frame on that “Starbuck Jones” image.  I assume someone hit the “pause” button, so that Mason and Cindy could chatter on brainlessly, but it’s entirely possible the scene is still running and consists of characters just chattering.  That seems entirely Batiukian.

I wonder if that’s a workprint of the new film, or just Cliff and Vera again?  I find I don’t really care about the answer.  But, isn’t it funny that the characters here went out of their way to find the cast of the Starbuck Jones serial, but anyone who worked on the original comic book has been completely ignored.  Who knows, they might still be alive, too!  But then, artists and writers might want to do something creative (“This is not my vision!”); actors, on the other hand will just read the lines given to them.  Whew!  Dodged a bullet there.

As far as today’s “content” goes, let’s not forget that Cindy’s “going out on a limb” was not, repeat not, because she had great faith in BuddyBlog or because she believed in her own abilities to deliver stories.  It was so she could seize Mason in her mandibles.  That’s all.  Mason’s either fine with that, unaware of it, or worse, pleased with how his personal magnetism snared his new paramour.

So, we’re not talking about someone striving for excellence in a new frontier.  We’re talking about someone indulging her urges to keep her insecurities at bay.

Still, she did manage to find a nice piece of fruit.

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Second Rate

Link to today’s strip.

Ho hum.  Look at the expression on Mason’s face in panel one.  Boy, those are some real sincere congratulations.  He’s probably thinking, “Fine, can we talk about me now?  Like, how awesome I am and stuff.”

And what is that thing under Cindy’s hand?  Part of her bracelet, or a car key?  Are they planning a dine ‘n’ dash?  Because that would be exciting…but I think I might be able to handle that!  Please go ahead and do it!

Unless you’re a long-time reader of this strip–and I hate to tell you this, Mr. Batiuk, but we’re it–you’ll have no idea who “Vera” is.  Last time she was seen in the strip was some months ago, and I wonder if she was even referred to by name then.  Cliff Anger was mentioned once earlier in the week, but given his idiotic name, one might have thought Cindy’s documentary was on the “[psychological condition known as] Cliff Anger [in which people who read a certain comic strip throw themselves off high mountains].”

It would have been funnier.

(Corrected for spelling…hey if Tom Batiuk can do it, so can I)

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Insert Disinterested Yawning

Link to today’s strip.

Boy. these people are pretty dull to be so smug.

What Cindy seems to be saying, here, is that “new media’s” excitement over an “old media” award somehow means that “new media” admits that it is shallow and worthless, and that “old media” are the only “real media.”  So I guess BuddyBlog is going to shut down its evil internet-only site and start broadcasting on television.

You remember television.  They’re the people who fired Cindy because she aged.

Cindy, by the way, has nothing to brag about.  When she was working for BuddyBlog in February 15, 2016, she was a bit irked that she was going to broadcast trivia and gossip.  “Anything on the President, or the Middle East?”  she asked, thinking there were things in the world that mattered more than cat videos and celebrity gossip.

Now she’s happily making documentaries about an actor no one remembers, who starred in a 1950’s serial based on a comic book, then “lost his career” because 1) he committed Contempt of Congress because it made him feel “cool,” and 2) because tightly held bitterness is this strip’s only balm.  Trivia and gossip.

There you go, Cindy.  You’ve become BuddyBlog, the thing you once hated…because awards.

 

 

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