Tag Archives: Cindy

Early dawning, Sunday morning

Link to today’s strip.

As usual, Sunday’s strip is not available for preview and I’ve got too much to do tomorrow to wait up for it.

I’m of two minds–on the one hand, it sure seems like we were building up to something starring Cliff Anger…but we haven’t really built anything enough.  I mean, one mention of “Butter Brickle” hardly constitutes a leaping-off point for a Cliff Anger comic book tribute cover, but then this is Funky Winkerbean so absolutely anything is possible, as long as it isn’t even slightly interesting.

The second, and I think more likely possibility is that we’ll have something unrelated to the previous week.  For example, it’s been a while since Funky and Les have gone running, and the fact that Les is in California shouldn’t be a barricade to this strip.  Or we might get wacky Bernie Silver Chess Club antics, with all the wackiness scientifically removed.   Who knows?

Ah well.  We’ll all find out together, and our yawning will be such that it will wake the land!

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That’s Not What I Smell

Link to today’s strip.

Well, Cindy’s discovering all kinds of new information about Cliff, isn’t she?  But let’s stop and take a look at this for a moment, just so we can see how utterly stupid it is.

If you’re anyone other than Tom Batiuk, you might recall that Cindy did a documentary about Cliff, which was considered worthy of an Emmy nomination.   In the interview, she and Cliff sat and talked about his life, his blacklisting, his rediscovery, all that stuff.  The fact that it was shot with a single hand-held camera…well, the contents must have been pretty damn good to garner an award nomination.

And, apparently, she asked him nothing about his career.   You know, the reason you would interview a performer.   Apparently, this whole bit about Cliff working with some “movie-serial comedian” (a thing I doubt existed anyway–serials tended to be action-adventure stories) is completely new to her.   I mean…*gasp*   I need a moment here to process this.

She’s coming across as so dense, I would not be shocked to find her surprised that Cliff played Starbuck Jones.   The entire reason for her interview.   “Really?  That was you?  Wow!”  But no, after the interview, she’s still unaware.  Was she born stupid, or did she study?

I can easily imagine Cindy making a documentary about (grabbing random celebrity) Paul McCartney and asking about how he met Linda Eastman, that time he was arrested in Japan, Linda dying (from cancer!!) and his bitter divorce from Heather Mills.  Then, she meets him at a party and says, “Say, I understood you knew John Lennon!  How the heck did that come about?  Also, someone told me you write songs!  Any I would have heard?”*

Today’s episode is amazing.  I suppose one could put this down to Batiuk’s general in-strip contempt for women, but wow, it’s pretty cold.  It’s ice cold.

Now, it would make sense for Cayla to be asking these questions, because Cayla hasn’t met Cliff before.  Cayla could have seen Cindy’s documentary and asked some follow-up questions.  But Cayla married Les, so she can’t be shown as flawed.  And Les would have told her all this stuff, and she would have listened intently.  And Les would be in the scene, to correct Cayla (and Cliff) about how things actually happened.

Cindy, on the other hand is consistently a target in the Funkyverse; Tom Batiuk loves to lob potshots at her, so sure–she’s stupid and bad at her job.  Ha ha ha, stupid!  You’re a dumb gurl and everything!  “Remember high school?  I do!”

Wow.

Just…wow.

*Granted, Paul McCartney’s story is pretty well known, so an interviewer might try to go in another angle to get a different perspective on him.   But the whole point of Cindy’s documentary was to re-introduce Cliff to a public that had largely forgotten him.  One of the things you would do in a documentary like that is tell people what he had done, and why he should be remembered.  And all of that would come from his career, not his personal life.

Yeah, I’m back to using italics like a madman.

 

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Eating Their Turds and Whey

Link to today’s strip.

Whoops!  Late to the party on this one, but I got involved in a project of my own and neglected the time.

Not much to say about this one.  The artwork continues to slide into the abyss, the dialogue is idiotic, and Rich Burchett shows us something in that last panel  (almost wrote “penal”; these hosting stints, lemme tells ya…)

I mean, look at Cliff’s face in that last panel.  “Oh?  Think I’m not planning on getting my cheese dip on?  Really, Vera?  Wow, are you in for a surprise!”

Overall, again, it’s people sitting around discussing things that we have not seen and we’ve not been given a reason to care about.  Eating food that looks, honestly…well, it looks largely like bowel movements.  Which, given the overall bent of this strip, makes perfect sense.  It also makes those vaguely flesh-colored cubes that show up now and then in Mary Worth look edible.

It’s kind of silently nauseating in its own unique way.  And it’s another step away from what people want in comic strips.  And it makes me feel that the 50th anniversary will be something to see, though I can easily imagine Batiuk presenting something ultra dull.  After all, it’s the Funky Winkerbean way.

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Does this Language Have Swearing or is it All Yawns?

Link to today’s strip.

Well, Cliff, you want a new language?  Wow–aren’t you the lucky one!  Turns out that there’s a person right there who happens to be The Lord of Language!  I’m sure he can help you turn your stifled yawns, underbreath mutterings and defeated scowls into a language you’ll be proud to speak.  And at such reasonable prices!

Oh, um, (cough) but before you go off to meet him, Cliff, your fake beard is melting off in panel one.  Better go adjust it so you can look great with your new frown-talk language. Keep fidgeting with your fake beard, Cliff, and it turns people off.  Glue it on good, though, man, trust me, it drives the ladies crazy!  Also, and think about this–Santa Claus gigs at the local mall.  You’ll want to terrify those tots as your beard is pulled apart by those tiny sweaty palms.  Then you can do a Bela Lugosi laugh and cause all kinds of childhood trauma, which, trust me, is big in certain comic strips.

Seriously, is Rick Burchett trolling Tom Batiuk to the same degree that Tom Batiuk is trolling his readers?  The artwork lately has given off a huge “It’s due in five minutes and no one cares, so let me scratch something out and hit ‘Send’ vibe.”

Honestly, this stuff is just awful and I can’t imagine someone who cares signing off on this and saying, “Great work, man.”  I’m sure the response is more in line with “Eh, it fits the space, so sure, it’s fine.”

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The House That Jones Built

Link to today’s strip.

Greetings, folks, BChasm here back behind the wheel of this eternally stalling vehicle.  Many thanks to Comic Book Harriet for an excellent hosting stint.  Trust me, the headaches go away after a while!

So, what do we have here?  I’m honestly dying from boredom just looking at this one.  I do like the drawing of the house and the environs in panel one–it’s simple and slapdash but it’s nice, including the squiggle birds and the hinted-at ocean.  A decent looking house right on the beach–Starbuck Jones has been very good to Mason.  And it’s nice of Les to change from the yellow shirt he was wearing yesterday to a blue version of the same thing.   I suppose he did that on the ride over, and thank you to Tom Batiuk for not showing that, and also not showing Mason saying, “Wow, Les, you’re really ripped.  I could get you into the movies easily, as a sensitive and caring guy who ends up with the girl in the end!”  And also not showing Les being all humble and yet unable to say No.  So that’s three good things Tom Batiuk did in just this one episode!

Anyway, I get that Les and Mason are pals due to suffering through the abortive “Lust for Lisa” project, but Cayla and Cindy don’t really seem like the type to pal around.   Have they ever actually met?

As for the dialogue, ugh.  Dullard told Mason that he and Les were up for an award.  Cindy took that as a way to catch up on Ohio.  Because, as I think the Comics Curmudgeon pointed out, phones can never be used in the Funkyverse.   And everything always happens in Ohio…the place Mason wanted to retire to, if I remember correctly.  Yeah, no one uses phones, except Les, just yesterday to text Cindy.  So he has her number stored in his phone.  And…

This strip is like a shelf full of boxes that all get knocked to the floor, contents scattered everywhere.  And the person assigned to pick everything up just doesn’t care where things are supposed to go.

Still, I think the point of this episode is to present something so dull and uninteresting that no one can really criticize it.  If so, mission accomplished.

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Low ‘Rents

Like so much of Funky Winkerbean, today’s strip invites reasonable questions that have stupid and unsatisfying answers. Use the Q&A below to guide you as you take part in the frustrating experience that is reading today’s strip.

So when is Jessica moving back to Ohio?
I thought she had, but I was apparently wrong and she is still in California doing documentary work with Cindy. Durwood believes that she would not mind moving back to Ohio, so there’s that.

Wait… Jessica is doing documentary work for Cindy?
Well, she certainly was. If you didn’t have to blink back in November 2016 (the nerve of you!), you would have known this.

So Jessica is still working on Cindy’s Cliff Anger documentary 19 months after shooting the interview with Cliff and Vera?
Well… Cindy’s Cliff Anger documentary was nominated for an Emmy award in April 2017, so it is presumably complete. Either Jessica works so slowly that she has entered a time warp, an incomplete documentary was nominated for an Emmy award, or a certain writer forgot what he wrote 14 months back.

Why did Darin move back in with his parents in Westview instead of finding his own place in Cleveland, where he works?
Because he is a notorious freeloader who deserves to be nicknamed “Mooch” more than his old high school pal Eric Myers ever did. Recall his and Jessica’s previous residences in Act III, slumming with friends until getting kicked out (free), living with Les and Summer (free), and finally getting their first “real place” in the apartment above Montoni’s (technically not free, but Funky owned the unit and paid Durwood’s salary during this time).

Isn’t it hard on his senior-citizen mother to have him and Skyler living in the house on top of having to care for her stroke-crippled husband?
Of course it is, but Durwood is all about Durwood.

Does Darin not get along with his parents?
That seems to only be implied, but given that he has spent far more time beatifying his “bio mom” and “step dad” in Act III than spending any time at all (pleasant or otherwise) with the couple that loved and raised him from infancy, it is a very strong implication. Durwood is awful.

Why did Skyler move with Durwood, who is starting a time-intensive new job, into Ann and Fred’s cramped old house instead of staying with his mother, who is still living in a whole apartment that he was already comfortably living in?
Because Jessica is awful too.

Is Darin the worst?
No, Les is the worst… but Durwood is making a genuine effort at sinking to his depths.

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Femur? I barely know her…

Hey party people, billytheskink here wishing Son Of Stuck Funky a very happy 8th Birthday! Has it really been eight years? Feels like eighty reading this strip…

I was going to say I was here from the beginning, but apparently I wasn’t. Not in the comments section anyways. Nevertheless, I was a Stuck Funky regular who made my way over not too long after that first post and I’ve been here ever since. The community here has been one of my favorite things on the internet for each an every one of its eight years of existence. Big thanks to TFH, Epicus, and everyone who has taken on the duty of decency that is cutting this strip down to size.

Oh yeah, there’s today’s strip to look at. *Yawn*. Cindy is still insecure… and now she is blind, as a kissing Mason’s razor-sharp features have gouged out her eyeballs. Please add “enjoy it while it lasts” to the list of things no one has said about Funky Winkerbean in 25 years.

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