Tag Archives: Bull

Bell Pepper Curve.

Link to today’s strip

First of all, there is an absolute horror show of a human in the background. A literal dickhead emerging from a shirt made of pubes. The guy is smug as shit too. No doubt having just eaten an entire plate of the grilled processed meat tubes that he has descended from in some kind of twisted Westviewian evolution.

Does Westview grade on the curve? That’s a horrific thought. Because while some teacher claim that pretending that the smartest kid’s 85% correct on the test is the new 100% is ‘grading on the curve’, what it really means is the draconian application of the bell curve to the entire class. Every student ranked, in direct competition with the other students for the limited number of A’s, 40% of students doomed to C’s regardless of what actual percentage of the material they got correct. All your A or B tells you is that in Mrs. McGiggins 2005 Fall semester of Pre-Calculus you did better than 15 other people.

My junior year of high school, the calculus teacher was gone the entire year on maternity leave. For the first semester, they gave the advanced math students taking precalc and calc a teacher they had previously relegated to teaching remedial general math because she was so inept, despite the fact she was technically qualified. Because of her I never learned the difference between cosine and cosign.

When the most gifted kids in the school started struggling and complaining to their parents, the principal had the audacity to come to the class, pull out a bell curve and try to explain to us that, really, most of us SHOULD be getting C’s in the class.

I shot my hand right up and explained to the class that ‘the bell curve’ was both old-fashioned and unfair. We were supposed to be graded on the percentage of the material we got right, not in competition with other students for limited number of A’s. The fact that most of us were getting C’s meant that, as a class, we were understanding barely half of what we were being tested on. He fumbled around for a bit, but didn’t really have a good response. He was talking to the smartest kids in the school, and our GPA’s, and thus our college prospects, were on the line.

They pulled an old math teacher out of retirement for the next semester.

I remember the impotent frustration, the despair, and the eventual fatalistic resignation that we, as a class, felt that semester. So many of us just gave up trying. There was no reason to attempt to succeed on our own, because that would only hurt our classmates by driving up expectations. So most of us sat through every day of math class that semester, silent, sullen, and unresponsive.

What I’m saying is, I’m guessing that Westview grades on a curve.



Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

But Who Is The Dreamer?

Link To Today’s Strip

Bull and Linda share an inside CTE joke today, or so it appears. It’s nice to see a Very Serious prestige arc end on such a light-hearted note, unlike that mousy woman that got the cancer that time. Blech, what a downer THAT was. Anyway, it’s sort of tough to believe they drove all the way to North Carolina for the cone of uncertainty diagnosis, as they probably could have gotten that in Ohio, but whatever. Hopefully Batiuk gives us some sort of “heads up” when Bull actually starts declining, as otherwise it’ll be impossible to tell, what with all the wryness and all.


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

There’s Someone In Bull’s Head But It’s Not Him

Link To Today’s Strip

Phony faux-profoundity with absolutely nothing at its core…a classic Batom prestige arc blow-off strip. Bull chose to play football but didn’t choose brain damage…yeah, that’s some powerful thought-provoking stuff right there. It really makes you think, namely that I really should have tried to get in on this comic strip scam back in the day.


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

More Like Vortex Of Stupidity

Link To Today’s Strip

Yes, Linda, Bull’s future is uncertain and impossible to accurate diagnose because they can’t f*cking remove Bull’s f*cking brain because as of today he’s still f*cking using it, you imbecile. For crying out loud, Batom, the woman is an educator who’s been living with Bull’s CTE for two and a half years, so why can’t she act like it? The way he essentially just rebooted this CTE story from the beginning is really annoying the shit out of me right now. He always exhibits a sort of low-key blithe disregard for his readers’ intelligence but this is really pushing it. Doing a story about someone with an illness doesn’t mean you just get to say “this character has an illness” over and over again, unless you’re in the Batiukverse, of course.


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Philadelphia Cream Cheese Took Me Knee High To A Man

Link To Today’s Strip

Like Alzheimer’s, CTE is a brain disorder, thus it holds nearly limitless comedic potential. Forgetting stuff, unpredictable mood swings, high-risk behavior, the massive all-encompassing burden it places upon family and loved ones…you know, just good old-fashioned funny page wackiness. Like in today’s strip, where we see Linda and Bull’s doctor sharing a chortle over Bull the imbecile putting the Philadelphia Cream Cheese (way to fill a word balloon by being unnecessarily descriptive there, BatNom) in the (guffaw) bathroom soap drawer. Just wait until he puts the bleach and the ammonia in one container to save space, that’ll be a hoot. And just wait until he’s unable to feed or care for himself anymore, it’ll be laughs-a-plenty then.


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

It Neh Ver Works Out How You Think It Will

Link To Today’s Strip

In grade school one year I had a very strange, kind of “out there” art teacher who once told us the following joke. There’s a guy named Benny who’s walking along the railroad tracks. A train is coming and a passerby grabs Benny and pulls him out of the way to safety. Benny thanks the passerby, turns to walk away and gets hit by a second train and dies. He is then cremated. The moral of the story, of course, is that a Benny saved is a Benny urned. I believe that if I was ever to accidentally become stuck in an elevator with BanTom we’d probably get along nicely.

The jokey light-hearted tone of this arc belies what supposed to be actually happening here, but because it isn’t actually happening I suppose it doesn’t really matter anyhow. Of course the natural punch line here is “nah neh, I don’t have any change on me” but Batom missed that one somehow, remarkably enough.


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Weighting Room

Link To Today’s Strip

North Carolina? I’m assuming there must be some sort of “real life” CTE research center in North Carolina, as it just seems so random otherwise. As I pointed out last week, it’s really sort of odd how they’re only going to see a specialist now, two and a half years after Bull’s initial diagnosis. But given how time works in the Funkyverse it might only be a week and a half since he retired, there’s just no way of knowing, no absolute frame of reference to establish that OK, we are “here” right now. It’d be real helpful if instead of hand-drawn signs and bricks the joker who draws this thing would hang a f*cking calendar in the background once in a while.

But anyhow, because it’s Bull we’re treated to some typically Bull-like jock sporto idiocy before his potentially life-altering trip to the doctor. Things have been getting way too serious around here anyway, what with the FW fan community still recovering from the shock and horror of Bull losing that Brownie Point DVD last week and all. I have seen this much gravitas and solemnity since what’s her name got cancer, you know, the really annoying pious one Les used to always talk about.


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky