Tag Archives: WHS

Dej-UGH Vu

We can only hope that today’s strip marks the end of this story arc and the depiction of this unhealthy and unsettling Melinda-Holly relationship for some time (infinity is a time, right?).

With that, I will focus my commentary on Holly’s use of term “EMS Vehicle”. So, did TB just not like the way “ambulance” fit in the word balloon or does he have a thing for using awkwardly bland language? I mean, its not an incorrect term of course, but if Holly calls an ambulance an “EMS Vehicle” then Melinda ought to have said “medical facility” or something like that yesterday instead of “hospital“… y’know, to maintain this strip’s reputation for exceeding consistency.

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Grosstalgia

As someone who has ridden in an ambulance with a parent after breaking a bone while competing in a sport, I found there to be nothing at all redeeming about today’s strip. At least yesterday we had some America’s Funniest Home Videos visuals, solid work from Chuck Ayers for once, but today… today… just get out of here with this tripe!

No one wants to see Holly apologize to her mother for, um, for breaking her ankle?! What?! No one wants to see this whole cruel and miserable experience turned into a nostalgia trip. No one wants to know what kind of hairspray Holly uses that has kept her terrifying hair claw intact despite spending extended periods in a driving rainstorm.

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It’s The Way They All Became The Batom Bunch

Link To Sunday’s Strip

Here’s the story

Of a hack named Batty

Who was busy with two comics of his own.

Both of them had stupid puns

And lots of wordplay

And bad dialog for girls.

Why the f*ck is there a soda can in the header panel? What does that have to do with anything? So BatYarn wanted to parody Zoom, but didn’t really know much about it or have any serious ideas for doing so. Naturally, he decided to plow ahead anyway and this floppery is the result. This is just bad on a visceral level, the kind of FW strip that firmly convinces me that mocking FW every day is indeed the right thing to do. What a hack.

And on that note I am done. What an ordeal that was. There’s been entirely too much Les lately, too much cancer too, at least for my tastes. Stay tuned for a Special Guest Appearance by Our Fearless Leader himself, the SoSF King Of Kings, TFH!!!

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A Brief History Of Wry

Link To This One

Christ, what a bunch of assholes. BatYam’s pandemic garbage dump arc limps toward the finish line today, as we get a rare glimpse inside the WHS teacher’s lounge, aka The Den Of Perpetual Ennui. The always-insufferable Linda is (surprise) once again bitching about her job in that low-key annoyingly wry way of hers, as Klabichnik delivers the “punch line” (as it were) while the useless Dick Facey sits there stupidly. What a piece of garbage. Strips like this actually make a mockery out of making a mockery of FW, which is the only “anomaly” here.

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Low Water Mark

Link To Today’s

SIGH. Yet another pandemic gag that (I assume) seemed clever at the time, only to fail badly thanks to BatYam’s unique blend of ineptitude and stupidity. I don’t know why Les drinks water from bottles by throwing the water from the bottle into his mouth, but based on their expression in panel three, Linda and Jim have clearly seen this and been amused by it before. The real question here is what did Les say there in panel two? Was it “shit”, “f*ck”, “dammit” or something else entirely?

Pound sign, squiggle, explosion, lightning bolt and skull and crossbones…whatever it was it must have been pretty obscene to merit that skull and crossbones. I also like how the bottle is helpfully labeled “water”, just in case there was any doubt. Seriously though, has anyone out there actually done this or found it to be a problem? I mean sure, I do some pretty stupid things at times but I haven’t sunk to this level yet, thank God.

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Help Me Tom, I’m Only Bleating

Link To Today’s Drip

Batty usually has no problem with dreaming up new premises, as the problem is typically everything that happens after that. But jeepers, this one is mighty thin, even by his lowly standards. It’s like he decided to do a “back to school” arc, then completely ran out of ideas immediately, then decided to forge ahead anyway. And in his defense, who would even know?

But anyhow, yeah, he’s already resorting to testicle gags, the lowest of all gag forms. At this rate we should be getting into the fart jokes by tomorrow at the latest. I mean what can you even say here? This isn’t merely a lifeless outing, it’s an exhumed corpse outing.

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Hey COVID Nineteen

Link To This One

Oooo-fa. BatYam swings, BatYam misses. Just an awful, illogical, stupid gag, delivered poorly by the most detestable character in the history of fiction…what’s not to hate here? This week reads like he suddenly realized he’d better crank out a few more pandemic gags even though he had nothing prepared, which is obviously par for the FW course. But man oh man do these jokes suck wet limp tool, even by FW’s abysmally low standards.

From the BatBlog: “A question I get asked a lot, and I mean A LOT, is why I didn’t do a time-jump in my Crankshaft strip at the same time as Funky.”

Define “a lot”, as I refuse to believe that ANYONE has ever actually asked that question EVEN ONCE. If there’s someone out there that actually pondered this question (let alone asked it) please, by all means tell us about it in detail. We’ll even send you a prize of some kind. Not a good one, but nonetheless.

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The More Things Change, The More Les Annoys The Hell Out Of Me

Link To Another One

“The more things change…the more you’re going to find to worry about”. Uh, sure Cayla, whatever you awkwardly say. If she’d said “the more YOU’LL find to worry about” it’d sort of be a gag directed at Les and his endless complaining, but “you’re” kind of turns it into a totally meaningless platitude, which sounds about right.

Coming tomorrow: the latest very timely FW prestige arc begins as an enraged Bernie arrives at WHS with his COVID-19 gun in his backpack. Tragedy is averted, however, when Principal Nate cites the WHS handbook, which forbids “virus, germ and chemical dispersant devices” of any kind. Bernie receives some much-needed counseling.

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Bully For You

Link To Monday’s Strip

SIGH…not this asshole again. What’d I ever do to BatYam to deserve this? Oh, yeah…that’s right! Sigh.

You’d think that after thirty years Les would have settled into a routine of sorts, but apparently the trauma he suffered back in 1986 still resonates every September, like clockwork. Because high school forever defines us, you see, and back in high school Les was an anxiety-ridden simpering pud, so there you go. Kind of makes you wonder why he decided to spend his entire teaching career at the scene of the crime, so to speak, but logic has never been BatYam’s strong suit (guffaw). At least Cayla looks properly annoyed in panel two instead of looking on stupidly like she usually does. Sigh. You NEVER follow up a major Les arc with a Les “slice o’ life” arc…NEVER. You go with a lite & breezy Funky or Crazy Harry arc in that situation, not more Les.

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Perfect Atten-Dunce

Link To The Sunday One

There’s actually a very good reason why our SoSF guest hosts usually take two week shifts. It’s because by the end of the second week you’re just so disgusted and appalled by it all you need to step away and gather your senses. Our fearless leader, prophet and god-king TFH once hosted SoSF solo for a long, long time but if you’ve noticed even he doesn’t do that anymore and again, there’s a very good reason why. It’s called “sanity”, people.

This marks the end of my three week stint and let me tell you, it feels more like a century. Not that I didn’t enjoy it or anything, but man, what a garbage dump THAT was. Hopefully next time around I’ll get something “good”, like an amputation or a brain injury or a same-sex couple ordering a breakfast pizza or something, but probably not. It’ll be more like “Dinkle cracks wise about band directing” or “Wally buys new snow tires” or something hilarious like that.

Anyhow, I’m done and thanks for the memories. Official SoSF Funkstorian billytheskink is up next for your snarking pleasure and not a moment too soon!

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